I have seen many posts in which people who have had the band a long period of time tell bandsters who are doing well and trying to encourage others that they are just in a "honeymoon phase" and once that goes away the successful bandster will lose their motivation and get tangled up in struggles which will leave them less naive about the real nitty-gritty of being banded. (Paraphrased - not quoted) These comments are always directed at those who are working hard at making the best of their lap band experience and are trying to encourage others to do the same.

This topic has worked and worked on my mind since the first time it was directed at me. I've been called a know-it-all. I've been accused of being judgmental. It's even been suggested that I haven't been banded long enough to have the right to give advice to others. But the comments that have stuck out in my mind as the cruelest are the ones that imply that, given time, I'm going to fail. And to me, the "honeymoon phase" comment does just that. It says, "Sure, you're doing well now. You're pumped up because you're succeeding with your band. But you just wait. That's going to stop soon and once you start going through the hard times, you'll see. You'll see."

<O:p

I have to ask, how is that helpful or encouraging to anyone? Why is it even necessary to make such a statement at someone who is doing things right and sharing their success as encouragement to others? What is the point? The only conclusions I can draw in response to those questions are both sad and troublesome.

I would like to say to all of the people waiting, praying, hoping for a lap band... and to all the people who have just gotten the band... and to all of the people who have been banded less than a year... Do not let these kinds of comments shake your hope of changing your future.

Those of us who have been in a few relationships are aware of that beginning stage of the relationship when emotions are high and we are giddy with new love. We are also aware that this is just a stage of building a relationship. Though it may not always be like this, a successful relationship will advance to deeper levels and grow stronger. Sadly, there are many people out there who think that "love has died" when this stage of the relationship is over. They are disappointed when they no longer feel that "high" of new love, and believing that it must not have been real love, they give up.

<O:p

Yes, it is very exciting when we finally see our dream come true. "I am banded!" Yes, it is thrilling to see the initial burst of rapid weight loss after surgery. "This is really going to work!" Yes, we do find ourselves wrapped up in thoughts of nutrition, exercise, bandster habits.. portions.. rules, etc. And yes, all of the newness does level out over a period of time. BUT! and this is a very big BUT! Just because the newness wears off, it does not mean the band is going to stop working. Nor does it mean that we are all going to give up and go back to making poor choices. This is NOT something that is inevitable. This is merely something that is being said by those who have slipped into old habits and found themselves frustrated. And, rather than pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and taking the sound advice of those who are achieving wonderful success with their bands, they choose to be negative... claiming that the only reason this person is having any success is because they are in the "honeymoon phase" and that eventually they will fail too.<O:p

<O:p

I don't know about the rest of you, but I got my band to help me overcome a lifetime of bad habits, emotional addictions, and self serving attitudes. This band will only help me restrict quantities. It will not instantly change my bad habits, rid me of emotional addictions, or change my self serving attitudes. That is up to me, and NOW is the time to take on those things in myself... while I have this little marvel inside of me, saving me from eating myself to death. This is why people like Big Paul grab us by the shoulders and shake us hard, telling us to take advantage of this time and take care of our WHOLE SELVES. For if we don't, we may end up feeling disappointed when we realize that we haven't grown, we haven't learned, we haven't changed a damn thing. We are still faced with the same self-defeating problems that brought us in search of a solution in the first place. And some may label this as the end of the "honeymoon phase".

I hope this is making sense to someone out there who needed to hear it. If not, thanks for allowing me the opportunity to vent about it, because it's been eating at me for some time now.

<O:p

I sincerely pray that each of us will find the ability to see truth, the willingness to embrace it, and the courage to let it change us.

DonnaB..Lol, rofl. It's cool. I'm not bothered that you found my deleted post and reposted it. I felt every single bit of it and wanting to share it, but as critical as this place is, I really didn't feel like leaving it out here for all the veterans to dissect, analyze and of course, the inevitable....attack. LOL.

But there it is folks. I'm not anorexic, I'm not calorie deprived and not dehydrated. In fact, I am probably OVERHYDRATED thanks to the Gone for Good club. I drink more Water than the average man. I AM a newbie and I'm losing weight on a continuous basis. Is that wrong? Not even 2 months out and -40lbs down. Hmmm.. I'm doing something right.

I promised myself that I would hit my goal by August of 135lbs. I promised myself a min of 18.5lbs of loss per month. My goals aren't outlandish and I do know that it's possible that it won't happen. I also know that it's possible that it can happen too. I can do it. I'm living my goals. I'm doing it. Other than right now I am not sitting on my ass and complaining that it's failing me. I'm up and at em daily, sometimes twice per day sweating, working, homeschooling and planning my families meals. I don't need a veteran bandster to tell me that I can't do it or it won't happen b/c it's just not normal. Fruck normal. I don't care for that. I won't be YOUR statistic.

You're doing a great job Telly! No one can take that from you, but I am very sorry that you feel the need to be so vicious - speaking to 'negative generalities'.

I think this thread has past it's usefulness. The message seems clear.

I am not feeling the need to be viscious, just felt like expressing myself truthfully as everyone else has.

As

There are 6 kinds Veteran bandsters in my book..

1. Knowledgeable Veteran - Been there done that, shares experience to an extent, not siding
   
2. Jilted Veteran - Been there done that and did it wrong, is upset with the world and upset with other's successes and displays that in their posts
   
3. Knowledgeable and Considerate Veteran - Been there done that, has empathy, shares experiences at the same time giving good advice and keeping in mind that there are lots of new bandsters in the community and writes posts .. with newbies in mind (not putting up stop signs and not generalizing things)
   
4. Reclusive Veteran - Been there, done that but is quiet about everything
   
5. Skeptical Veteran - Been there, done that had quite a few bad experiences and some good but still very skeptical that the band works, generalizes everything and is adamant on making sure all is there to see
   
6. Fence Veteran - Goes either way, (the band works and doesnt' work) Been there, done that and plays both sides of the fence

Arguing on the internet is like winning the special olympics. Sure you may win but, in the end you are still retarded.

This clearly shows ones integrity. This is offensive and I take offense. Not b/c I have or even know someone that falls into this category, but b/c this hurts my heart for those people. "Retarded" people as you put it, go to the special olympics and experience and learn more than you obviously will realize.

I think it's clearly time for some RESPECT to be shown to the veterans a lot of you are bashing. Get over yourselves!! There may come a day that you need their help and advise and guess what, your not going to get it.

I have seen a lot of back and forth, yet I have not seen any proof (other than old threads....2 mos or longer) to substantiate the claims regarding the discouragement you've been fighting over.

There's always one..

3loves you have your opinion on the matters at hand and so do I. Get over it. Move on. I'm not taking anything back and I meant every word of it. I'm not here to receive hugs and win the popularity contest. I'm here to speak my mind. If you don't like it, so what?

Yup....and I hold my head HIGH!!! BTW, I do get the jest of what you are trying to say, it's just there are a 100 different ways it could have been expressed. You don't always need to put down a group of people to build your self up or make yourself look good. Again, it truly shows your integrity and cowardliness more than it does a warped sense of humor.

Im sure you do. Good to be proud of something like that. The fact that you didn't get the analogy is even funnier to me. Ahhh well.

Wow. I was reading through this thread really gaining some great perspective from everyone and I just want to learn, BUT when I read the Special Olympics joke, it was sad to me that someone would put that in print. Man, that is truly tasteless.

Kelli

I found the joke Hilarious! You are right, you can win but it's silly to argue. I get it.

I "get" it, it's just tacky.

Opinions opinions. Isn't that what this is all about anyway? No name calling or judgements.

I apologize for that but I'm one of those (tacky joke kinda people). I'm a bit of a toilet humor buff.

Sorry for that again. Just an analogy/joke. Again I stated I didn't mean to offend anyone and if I did, I apologize.

Let's move on ok? lol

This is just a reminder that we are here to support each other, not tear each other down. I think that there are several good posts in this thread and would hate for me or another mod to have to lock it. Please watch your "manners".

Again...

It was a joke and again I apologize. Just delete that post.

Oh geesh! Now it's getting to be silly.