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Why so negative???

I find myself not telling people about my upcoming banding because it always seems there is a negative response ... well this happened to this person, and that person gained everything back and so on ... I find myself responding with things that I learned from reading this site (ie - hair loss, protein shakes, bad choices). Obviously I have done my homework before making such a big decision, but has everyone had this happen?

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  • I didn't even tell my own mother I was being banded. When I mentioned it six months before my surgery date I got all kinds of grief. She had to find out from a coworker that I was even at the hospital

  • I've told a few of my closest friends and my adult daughters. I've been lucky and received all positive reactions and support. I too have used this site for research and hearing from the people that

  • SolracSpree
    SolracSpree

    Its to be expected. Lapband is unknown for some people and people fear the unknown and changes. Some will celebrate, some will condemn. As is life.

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Its to be expected. Lapband is unknown for some people and people fear the unknown and changes. Some will celebrate, some will condemn. As is life.

I didn't even tell my own mother I was being banded. When I mentioned it six months before my surgery date I got all kinds of grief. She had to find out from a coworker that I was even at the hospital. You never know what someone's reaction is going to be. Before banding my impression was that everyone would be negative. After banding my opinion has changed. It's not that I walk up to someone now and say "hey guess what I did" or that I wear a t-shirt promoting it, but if someone asks I tell them. If I don't, then I am prejudging them that they will be negative. So, if I don't want to be judged why is it fair for me to judge them?? If they don't like the idea I can't help that. All I can do is focus on me. Biggest fear it seems for most people is they just might find out who their true friends really are. If people judge you negatively were they really your true friend to begin with?

I've told a few of my closest friends and my adult daughters. I've been lucky and received all positive reactions and support. I too have used this site for research and hearing from the people that have been through it.

I received positive reactions from the people I told, but I limited who I told. The one person, a massage therapist, who reacted negatively was extremely negative -- like crazy, yelled in my face -- and what she said haunted me thru out the process. I won't repeat it here.

I think people sometimes speak before thinking thru what they are really saying and the impact it can have.

Hopefully, people will match your excitement and will also realize you are intervening on your own behalf and could use their support.

Actually, now that I think about it, my best friend was absolutely against the band but FOR me so she was somewhat caught in a hard spot. She graciously supported me and helped trouble shoot when problems arose and was always there for emotional support. So it is possible for people to support you while not being in favor of the band, itself.

Keep moving forward and get yourself healthy - whatever it takes :)

~hiddn

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