I was crying so hard I had to pull over to the side of the road. I had just been to Sonic and wolfed down loaded tots, chicken fingers, a slush, and a blast. I felt so hopeless and alone. I was not truly enjoying life and I was ashamed of my addiction. I called my mom (who also has weight problems) and told her I couldn't do it anymore. I told her I was out of control and wanted surgery. I know the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem but I had been admitting I had a problem for four years. It took those four years of constant yo-yoing to finally do something about it. Thankfully my parents helped pay for the surgery and I chose a doctor in Hattiesburg, MS, that one of my friends had used for lap band surgery. I didn't contemplate any other surgery or weight loss plan. Lap Band is what I wanted and I made an appointment to see the doctor the next week.

When I met Dr.Girod, I pretty much immediately knew he was going to be my surgeon. He was professional but seemed to have a good sense of humor. He also seemed to handle my rapid fire questions rather well. I also related well to his bariatic coordinator and after about an hour of questions and answers they set me up for surgery 13 days later.

I did not have a difficult time sticking to the diet. I used Isopure shakes and drank chicken broth every night and ate about half a box of sugar free popscicles every night. I was also smoking about a pack of cigarettes a day (which the coordinator said wasn't a problem) and I developed bronchitis when I tried to quit around day 8 of the diet. On day 13, they refused to operate as they were concerned about me aspirating. I was devestated and immediately went to my favorite Chinese restaurant and ordered Coconut Shrimp, Combination lo Mein, and egg rolls. I had no idea how impossibly difficult the next few months would be trying to resume the liquid diet.

I think I rescheduled surgery a total of 6 times... all because I could not stay on the diet for 14 days. I was obsessed with food. I felt like each meal was my last. I'm shocked I only gained about 18 pounds because I ate like I had never tasted food before, I decided to start the diet one last time on July 19. Around midnight, I frantically drove to Taco Bell and ordered about $15 worth of food, which is a lot of food for Taco Bell. I did the same thing the next night. By the grace of God ( as well as forcing myself to look in every window, mirror, and reflective surface I passed), I managed to stay on the diet after that. July 3rd was my surgery and I am so excited about what the next year holds for me! I'm also scared as I've been hiding behind my body and eating my emotions on and off my entire life. I dont' know what my life will be when I'm half my size. But I can guarantee that it will be half the pain and twice the rewards.

I know what you're going through. I sure hope you're getting therapy for your eating problems because while the lap band will help, therapy can get to the root of why you are so obsessed with food. I'm not saying that from a place of judgment but of co-misery. I know what it's like to obsess over food and therapy can REALLY help in the long run. Just my $.02. Good luck!

Congratulations on taking such a huge step! It is not easy to write what you did and share it with others. You are taking the first steps in making your life healthier and in making yourself a stronger person.

I am an emotional eater, I think you would find there are a lot of us and you are not alone. Guy has a point and it's not easy to deal with our food issues. The band is there to help remind us we have issues to work on, and to give us the tool we need to do it.

It's like a not so subtle friend that will make you miserable if you let it, so don't let it. Use it to your benefit and follow the rules on the post-op diet. That part doesn't end, the pre-op diet ended after surgery. Post op is forever now, and you're in control.

Best of luck to you! You have a great bunch of supporters here whenever you need us.

Guy has given really good advice.

It's wonderful you were finally able to have the surgery- but I think counseling is absolutely necessary if you're going to be successful with your band. We have a saying around here "the band goes around your stomach, not your brain". While the band is great for controlling hunger, it can't and won't change food addiction. Because the band isn't meant to stop you from eating- it can't control food addiction either. It's sad but we see it happen here all the time.

As you are painfully aware- food addiction is very real. Sometimes, we need real professional help to deal with it.

Best wishes to you. I hope you have great success!

Way to go taking a HUGE step! I have the same issue as you it sounds like... I'm an emotional eater, and it's all mental for me it has nothing to do with hunger... With that said, I've had a very hard time keeping my weight down despite having the band. You hear people say all the time the band is a tool... It's true because a year after surgery I stopped using my tool ehen done family drama happened & went right back to eating my blues away (or should I say making myself more blue when I looked in the mirror). 8 years later I'm still struggling to lose but please don't get me wrong I love my band & am glad to have the tool there to use. I guess what I'm trying to say is please don't rely on just your band.... You HAVE to change your attitude about food to have real success & counseling is probably a great way to do that. Just don't be like me & think "I had WLS, I'm going to be skinny now" because weight loss is very hard, even with the band it takes 100% dedication, tons of support & a whole lot of exercise. Feel free to email me if you would like a support buddy that understands the constant struggle. Cowgirlspurz@gmail.com Best of luck to you!!!!

Thank you for all of your comments. I tend to come from "there is wisdom in the counsel of many" camp and I plan to read posts ya'll have made. In reference to the counseling suggestions,I meet with an LCSW every week who's also had Lap Band surgery and has successfully met her weight loss goals. She's my "thinspiration" and I'm not sure I would have had the courage to go through with the surgery without having watched her go through the entire process. I have so many people in my life who doubt that this will work. I know there will be tears and feelings of doubt and setbacks but I have full faith in my ability to have victory over my food addiction with this tool!!

Thinspiration! I love it!

With an attitude like that you're going to do awesome!!!! I'm totally steeling that "thinspiration" I love it!!

Way to go taking a HUGE step! I have the same issue as you it sounds like... I'm an emotional eater, and it's all mental for me it has nothing to do with hunger... With that said, I've had a very hard time keeping my weight down despite having the band. You hear people say all the time the band is a tool... It's true because a year after surgery I stopped using my tool ehen done family drama happened & went right back to eating my blues away (or should I say making myself more blue when I looked in the mirror). 8 years later I'm still struggling to lose but please don't get me wrong I love my band & am glad to have the tool there to use. I guess what I'm trying to say is please don't rely on just your band.... You HAVE to change your attitude about food to have real success & counseling is probably a great way to do that. Just don't be like me & think "I had WLS, I'm going to be skinny now" because weight loss is very hard, even with the band it takes 100% dedication, tons of support & a whole lot of exercise. Feel free to email me if you would like a support buddy that understands the constant struggle. Cowgirlspurz@gmail.com Best of luck to you!!!!

It took me about 9 months into the band to realize that I used food to cope. While I was losing I was on a natural high and when I hit goal all of a sudden I actually got depressed because I no longer had the high of losing. Once I had lost the weight and I no longer ate to cope I was in big trouble. I went to a therapist and he said I had to make a choice, either find a new way to cope or cut out some stress. That's why many people become alcoholics after WLS. They can no longer eat to cope and so they turn to another vice to take its place. Learning that you stress eat is helpful in the process though and is a great step in making changes in your life whether it be finding better ways to cope with stress or ultimately making the decision to eliminate some of the stress in your life. I'm trying a mixture of both right now but I'm not ready to cut out some of the stress that I probably should. At least knowing what I'm dealing with and making the decision to put up with it is my choice and it sometimes makes it easier.

Wow! That took a lot of courage to share. So glad you were able to finally stick to the diet and have surgery. Congratulations to the new you.