Hi, I was banded 1/25 and I've lost 53 pounds since my surgery date.... I am so insecure with myself and this is something I'm not used to feeling and I have no clue how to handle it. I recently met a guy and after talking he told me the reason he wouldn't date me is because "I don't take care of myself enough". Normally, I would have just brushed someone telling me I'm over weight off.... But now, I feel like all of this is a waste of time and I just want to be myself again..... Has anyone else had these issues? How did you handle them?

It's really hard!

In the past I used to hate dating and getting all "dolled up". I thought this would magically change once I lost the weight, but now i'm down nearly 60 lbs and still struggle. I always feel insecure and still feel like the "fatso"

I still wear clothes that are too big on me, and get nervous shopping (I remember with shame how I used to shop in the oversized sections of stores or shop at specialty stores like lane bryant for big clothes )

It takes time for our minds to adjust to our new bodies and behave accordingly.

I am very confident that given time, we will start feeling more comfortable with our new looks!

It's an emotional roller coaster. I think mentally I will always be fat eventhough I've lost 45 lbs since December. I'm still wearing my same clothes as I did before the surgery. I was a 3X, started wearing a 2X and the 2X is getting big on me but I can't bring myself to try a 1X or XL.

Men have started commenting and saying you look great, have you lost weight? My standard answer is well, I'm trying to. I find it hard to accept a compliment from a man. Call me crazy but I think I'm always going to feel overweight because I have been heavy all my life.I have not told any of my acquaintances that I've had LB surgery for fear of failure

So when my PCP tells me that I haven't lost very much weight, I feel down. I know it will get better but I'm trying my best to hang in there. Sorry to ramble on but I had to get it off my chest.

That's just one person. And I totally understand it stung hearing that. But the only person that makes a real difference in your life is you.

My dad told me long ago when some girls that were my "friends" hurt my feelings - "were they important in your life two years ago? Will they be part of your life in 20 yrs?" "Only you are going to be part of your life every single minute. You're the one that counts."

Believe in yourself. I believe you can.

Tara

I was told once by another Bander that it takes 5 years for your head and your body to get into SYNC. And I have found that to be so TRUE for me. I can look in the mirror and see I'm smaller ,but my mind still sees the "fat me"

I recently met a guy and after talking he told me the reason he wouldn't date me is because "I don't take care of myself enough

My reply would be "NEXT" that person is NOT worth your time or

thought PERIOD!!! Find someone that excepts you as the YOU that you are NOT someone they want you to be. If it continues to bother you talk to a professional,we all need help especially since most have "issues" with food that's why we needed WLS,but some "issues" run deeper than just food.

Oh that just makes me burn. That guy isn't worth another second of your time!! I know how hard it is to change the thinking as the body changes. I don't know that I'll ever get the fat girl image out of my head when I look in the mirror or at pictures. If it's any consolation, I haven't been on a date in FIVE YEARS. Men will talk to me now, and I don't trust them at all, wondering if they would have talked to me the same before my banding journey. Until I'm ready to deal with that and trust, I know I'm not ready for dating. I swear, I think the mental part is harder than the body part of this process!

Congratulations on 50! Now be more "insecure" and shoot for 100 pounds off. It's a winning situation for you and a better quality of life. God has allowed you to lose the weight with your hard work, your sacrafice, and determination.

Keep up YOUR hard work efforts YOU are WINNING!!

Best wishes and Keep the Faith.

Hi, I was banded 1/25 and I've lost 53 pounds since my surgery date.... I am so insecure with myself and this is something I'm not used to feeling and I have no clue how to handle it. I recently met a guy and after talking he told me the reason he wouldn't date me is because "I don't take care of myself enough". Normally, I would have just brushed someone telling me I'm over weight off.... But now, I feel like all of this is a waste of time and I just want to be myself again..... Has anyone else had these issues? How did you handle them?

This guy is an idiot. Ignore him...don't let a thoughtless remark derail you. and...just my opinion...don't think about dating for a while. Focus on you right now, and when you are ready, then think about meeting guys. Until you feel more comfortable in your new body, don't share it with anyone.

I just blogged about this as well. But you know what I learn everyday? We are changing physically, emotionally, and psychologically. It's part of the process......but "others" don't change. Keep your eye on the prize.....and that guy wasn't it when you were fat...and won't be when your thin.

It's an emotional roller coaster. I think mentally I will always be fat eventhough I've lost 45 lbs since December. I'm still wearing my same clothes as I did before the surgery. I was a 3X' date=' started wearing a 2X and the 2X is getting big on me but I can't bring myself to try a 1X or XL. Men have started commenting and saying you look great, have you lost weight? My standard answer is well, I'm trying to. I find it hard to accept a compliment from a man. Call me crazy but I think I'm always going to feel overweight because I have been heavy all my life.I have not told any of my acquaintances that I've had LB surgery for fear of failure So when my PCP tells me that I haven't lost very much weight, I feel down. I know it will get better but I'm trying my best to hang in there. Sorry to ramble on but I had to get it off my chest.[/quote']

Why is 45 lbs not much weight to your PCP?! Sounds like a lot to me