My sweet hubby of 12 years, the same man that has seen me struggle with my weight, supported me through rehab for my back injurys, seen me end up in the hospital for chest pain, wear diabetic shoes to work, and bought me hundreds of dollars of diet products told me this morning that he thinks I am taking the "easy way out" by having the surgery.

I want to kill him. He is insured. Any advice on what to tell the JERK?

Poodles....Tell him that the easy way out would be just to quit and not worry about your weight at all and stay the way you are but instead you are choosing a healthy way of living

Let him know that being banded is in no way easy. The band is a tool, just like diet pills & all the other crap we have all done in the past. You still have to watch what you eat, resist sweets & snacking, & exercise. It is hard work to be sucessful, but totally worth it. Also let him know we all have choosen to do this not because we are lazy, but we are desparate to be healthy. He needs to realize that over eatting is an addiction, if we were drug addicts or alcholics rehab would not be considered "the easy way out", so us food addicts seeking help is no different.

Being banded is a choose you will not regrete.

poodles

tell him so what if it is ( although i don't believe that). wouldn't it be such a waste if it is the easy way and you don't take it, and not only that, but it is a more long term thing then the "hard way" which usually ends up being the "short term" way. then to top that off tell him you don't want him to take the elevators anymore, seeing how that is the easy way to the top, and we sure don't want anyone to have it "easy" do we? then kiss him and smile that special smile and tell him that he sure makes you laugh sometimes.

trust me this works i just did it a few weeks ago.

jen

Have him read my threads, or my better yet my journal. This is not the easy way out. In fact there are several things in my 40 years i could say took the most courage and hard work both physically and mentally and this is one of those few things.

I don't think there is a truly "easy way out"... even with all the money that many stars have so many of them still struggle daily... If there was an easy way out it would be instant...

If there was an easy way out do you think Oprah would still to this day battle her weight with all the money she has? For me she's a poster child for the surgery (not because she's had it) but because she tries and tries to do it the old fashioned way and still goes up and down.

In my memory the only stars that have lost weight and kept it off for a long period are the ones that have had this surgery or gastric by-pass. Not that stars are better then us but they ususally have plenty of money and plenty of motivation to be thin. If they can't do it without surgery I'm not sure I ever had a chance.

Tell him you love him then tell him what Jen RN said, "take the stairs". I LOVE that!! :heh: Of course, my DH suggested the lapband for both of us, so I'm in a different position. Boy, the fur would fly in our house if my DH said that to me.

The Lap Band, in fact, has not been as easy as I'd hoped it would be. It's been a great help, but it certainly hasn't done all the work for me. The band doesn't go out and walk that 3 1/2 miles every day.

I wish there was an "easy way out"....I would have taken it.

Carlene

11/29/04

-86 pounds

Tell him he is taking the easy way out if he eats meals you cook, so he can do it the hard way and cook and clean for himself.

What gets me is that it was his idea. He said that he would understand if I wanted to get surgery because after 3 years on Atkins, he knows it is a struggle for me... he said that 6 months ago... guess he forgot.

He was very sorry when I informed him that "I told on him". He said that he just feels that I need to exercise more, which I do. I talked with him more about his feelings regarding me being banded. He will support me no matter what, because he wants me to be happy and healthy. Number one he wants me to be healthy. I just could not believe that he would say that knowing what I have been thru. Now I think I will be a closet bandster, because that is what people think. It hurts to know that even though you try your best and fail at every attempt, people still think you are weak when you try to get one more tool to help you.

I know it will not do all the work for me (Unfortunately), but I know it will help. I looked at 4 oz of meat, and 1/2 cup of veggies. That is four bites for me, and just the tip of the iceberg of what I eat daily. I can stick to my low carb diet for years, but portions keep my weight on. If I can get that under control I think I will lose... and then I will feel like exercising more.

Thank you for all of the support. We really need to figure out how to change attitudes. Wish people would not be so small minded.

Easy way out my big fat butt... Now Liposuction that is the easy way out.

Easy way out my big fat butt... Now Liposuction that is the easy way out.

I don't agree with this statement... Lipoosuction doesn't take off that much weight and I have friends who have gained it back when they've had it... It's not pretty either, when you gain weight after lypo it's goes to weird places and looks really lumpy.

I think the purpose of lypo is to remove the stubborn fat that won't budge after diet, surgery, exercise whatever has got 80% of the weight off.

I suppose it's easier to use tools to build a house.

That's all the band is...a tool! You are doing the work...

Shawn

Someone said something similar to me once. I told them about my surgery and they said "Isn't that kind of like cheating?" I said "Who cares?".

easy. hard. right. wrong.

The key words in the whole thing is "WAY" "OUT".

Feel better.

I used to think it was the easy way also...until I was banded. This is definitely not the easy way out and the interesting part, for me anyway, has been that I do not think I was completely mentally ready for it, but I am becoming so each day, a little at a time. I truly believe that a part of me wanted/wants to be heavy to subdue emotions. Letting go of that is a process and it has little to do with food. The easy way out would be sitting here not taking any action whatsoever. I'm not sure if someone who doesn't struggle with their weight can relate to that.

Hope it works out for you.

Kelli

You know the irony is my hubby is only about 15 lbs behind me, and an inch shorter. He has the same sweet tooth, and lazy habits as I do, but he has NO health problems. No meds, no high bp, no diabetes issues, no back pain, nothing. I am so screwed up BC/BS approved me in 6 months, no appeal process nothing. I told him that in itself shows that I am on deaths door because BC/BS does not pay for much. Think he is actually worried about the surgery. He does not want another child because of what my only son put me thru, and we planned on 3. He loves me, and I love him, but he just has a weird way of saying things. "Easy way out" hurt me deeply and he is sorry for saying it. I now use it for everything, "don't take the easy way out- do the dishes by hand." "Don't take the easy way out, go kill that cow yourself." "Would not want you to take the easy way out, guess you have to cook dinner." It will blow over with time.

I did tell him that I did not care what he thought, I have to live. I want to live, and I need help.

BTW, he has put in for a week off around my surgery date to help. Guess I will keep him.

cashley- did not mean to offend. I know lipo will not remove the 100+ lbs that I need to lose. But it sure would be easy to take the Hoover out and get rid of it if I could. Just a bad joke I guess....