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The Emotional Rollercoaster!!

So...I was banded on July 29, 2011. For my insurance I had to do a 6 month dieting period before getting my approval. During that time I lost 30 pounds on my own by just doing low carb. So I had my surgery, lost 10 lbs in the first week and then went back in September for my first fill and was down another 8lbs I think...but since then, its all been down hill. First of all, after surgery the protein shakes made me sick..I would literally gag and throw them right back up. It wasnt the taste, it was the nasty gritty taste they had. I tried to do the pre-made things and they were either too expensive (yea Im a cheapie) or they had too many carbs for my preference. So needless to say in November my friggin hair starts falling out, and I mean by the clumps. I had to start scrunching my hair everyday because if not you could see thin patches everywhere. Then my weight loss just stopped.. I know it was partly my fault because I wasnt following directions exactly, but compared to my old ways I figured I was doing a pretty good job. I was 325 in September when I had my fill, and had been eating the same foods and stuff but the weight just stopped. This went on for the next 6 weeks, which lead us to Thanksgiving. I finally just gave up and said forget it. I had been doing reasonably well with my food choices, but I just went all out and have been eating whatever Ive wanted since then... and here it is March and Im still 325. We had a weight loss challenge here at work for 6 weeks in Jan/Feb and I really buckedled down when it started. I was working out all the time, eating perfect and the scales said I had lost 7 lbs in 3 days. So I was 318, so the following week I go to weight myself and all be danged it I wasnt back up to 322. It just seems that no matter how hard I work out, how good I eat... I just cannot get out of the 320's!!!! I have been embarrased and havent went back to the doctor because I dont really wanna hear them.. I am hard enough on myself as it is. I dont understand whats went wrong..its like I lose motivation and then just give up ( like Ive done my entire life, hence the reason Im fat lol) I know I need another fill, and I hear all these stories about the green zone...but when I eat right now I never feel restriction unless Ive eaten a good portion of my meal. (I actually get full on normal amounts of food, Ive always overeat my whole life...so when I can have food leftover on my plate then my mind tells me Ive done a good job, even though its more then I should be able to eat) Im just tired of the friggin mind games Im playing with myself and need some kind of motivation. My brother had the same surgery in Dec and has lost 40 lbs so far...my neighbor lost 100 in 6 months! So Im feeling like a failure, like Im doomed to be fat forever. Anyone have any suggestions to get back on track??

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Try the 5 day pouch test! (google it) It got me jumpstarted when I stalled out. It also gets you back to basics and a reminder of what you are doing. It seems to me you know exactly what you are supposed to be doing but just not doing it. I get in the same slump once in a while and it is just mind over matter for the long haul. Also, go back to your doctor. You probably need a fill. Once you get the doctor over with you will feel much better that you have that support! Good luck to you! You can do it!

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