I opened up a new topic because I think our fears are important to share. I know right now most of us are pre-surgery but I have a feeling we'll all be facing our fears a lot over the next several months. I hope you feel comfortable enough on here to express them here.

from my blog:

Fears

I've been thinking a lot about my fears this week. Probably because my friends on the forum are expressing theirs which is wonderful. One, I believe it's good to put it out there and secondly, it's hearing things from a different point of view. So this has me looking into my own fears about my upcoming surgery.

Will I be in pain? Of course, but I've dealt with pain before and as long as I know it won't last long I seem to be ok. Just leave me alone and let me deal with it. I'll have to remind my friend of "leave me alone" during of my recovery. When I'm in a lot of pain I don't even like being spoken to. Hopefully I will be able to sleep through most of it the first few days.

What if they screw up and I have complications? What is I die? Well how can I control that? I can't. I've done my research and even though I haven't met him in person yet, I feel pretty confident about my surgeon. Has great reviews all over everywhere and have been accredited by the American Medical Association. So I could make myself sick of him messing up but I think the odds are in my favor. What if I die? NOT that I have a death wish, but I'm ok with that too. If it's my time, it's my time. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

What if I fail? Ok so I saved my biggest fear for last. What if I fail the lap band? I'm spending 5K on this surgery and it may not be the smartest financial move I've made but here's the thing. What if I don't? I fear that far more than I fear getting banded and failing. If I don't I know I will continue to gain weight. Get less and less mobile and will just spiral downward. I know myself well enough to know I will blame my weight on everything and will turn to food to help with my depression. I've been doing that for years. Yep, I'm an emotional eater. I can do really well all day and let myself get into my own head and eat an entire box of cookies, or a huge bowl of ice cream and then feel like crap for doing so. My eating is out of control and I'm a smart enough woman to know I need help. So I guess a better question for me is, what if I fail not to? What happens to me if I don't get banded? That right there is a scary future and that's something I can control!!

That's real!

j~

oh I forgot hair loss!!! I do NOT want to lose my hair!!!

 

Ordered my biotin today....... thank you Glove!

I'm horrified of losing my hair too! I already have thin hair from pcos!! I'm also scared about having a foreign object in my body! What if it causes permanent damage to my stomach?!?! But I guess being fat is more harmful to me!

What a great topic. A great way we can learn how to support one another and truly know there is someone else out there with similar fears right now.

This is a good topic. I share the same fears posted here, but the most daunting is my fear of failure.

 

Over the years, I've discovered what weight loss methods work best for me (counting calories and lots of walking), and with hard work, I can lose weight. Since meeting with my surgeon on January 3, I have become focused again and have lost around 28 pounds because I want to be as healthy as I possibly can going into surgery. With the band's help, I am fairly confident that I will be able to lose my excess weight.

 

However, I am most worried about gaining the weight back. And now that I have a date, that's why I am agonizing about whether to tell people I am having WLS. Half-truths are not my style, yet I am reluctant to tell people; the thought of another failed attempt to manage my weight, particularly a surgical attempt, is beyond embarrassing.

 

I've devoted a lot of thought to analyzing my fear, and in my case, it's actually baseless. The people I would tell already know about my many failures. Every single year, they have seen me working to lose weight, only to witness how rapidly I gain again once I've reached my goal. Therefore, I've decided if I fail to manage my weight with the band, I am going to try to view it as simply an attempt that didn't work for me. No big deal. I will try my hardest and if I am not successful, I will evaluate why and try to learn from the experience. At that point, I will move on and try something else.

 

I know going into this that the band doesn't work for every individual, yet at the same time, there is also a good chance that it might be exactly what I need to help me get my obesity under control.

I'm also scared about having a foreign object in my body! What if it causes permanent damage to my stomach?!?! But I guess being fat is more harmful to me!

 

I used to worry about this, too. I hadn't really thought much about it until my surgeon passed a band around during the seminar. He probably thought doing this would help us feel more comfortable with it, but it had the opposite effect on me. I started thinking about how there isn't a lot of long-term data available about the life of the band. I worked through this fear by reminding myself I was probably going to need knee replacements and who knows what else in a few years due to my obesity causing wear and tear on my body. Like you, I've now decided my excess fat is probably more harmful than the actual band itself.

oh I forgot hair loss!!! I do NOT want to lose my hair!!!

 

Ordered my biotin today....... thank you Glove!

 

How common does hair loss seem to be? I have thick hair and when I have done the medically-supervised fasts in the past, I never noticed the hair loss that many women did. But that's not something I want to experience either. If it's likely going to happen, I want to order some, too.

I am agonizing about whether to tell people I am having WLS. Half-truths are not my style, yet I am reluctant to tell people; the thought of another failed attempt to manage my weight, particularly a surgical attempt, is beyond embarrassing.

 

 

 

I am not telling anyone right now, which isn't easy for me either. I'm normally an open book. Not because I fear the embarrassment of failure but I fear them passing judgment on me taking the easy way out. I hear this even from my children, "you could lose your weight if you only..." I just don't need that type of support. I've given this lots of thought and right now I don't feel it's necessary to tell everyone. IF after my surgery, when I start losing the weight and getting ask lots of questions, I may change my mind but for now I'm keeping it to myself. If you think about it, there a tons of things we don't share with those around us. Why? Because it's none of their business. How much did you pay for your house? How much do you make each year? Who did you vote for in the last election? When did you have sex last? The list goes on and on. These are personal questions most people avoid. My lap band surgery is just as personal and I'll share it with when I'm ready.

j~

Regarding hairloss: This was my first fear. In one of the many LB support group meetings I have attended I asked the group of about 30: If you can honestly say you met your daily protein requirements did you still experience hairloss? The crowd roared back "yes"! The comments I got back were:

* it's not immediate, it begins several months after surgery

* it's more of a thinning that occurs

* it does grow back

* CRITICAL to get 60-80 grams/ day. Remember your body cannot process more than 40 grams protein at a time.

*. Many recommended biotin. NOTE: upon questioning, many admitted they did not take biotin (they didnt know about it) OR they started biotin once they started losing hair.

Yet, on the other hand I have talked to several ladies who did not experience any hairloss.

So, I have concluded that I will do the best I can. I will meet my daily protein requirement and begin Biotin now. I have long, thick hair. If I begin losing, I plan to cut my hair to shoulder length and trust that the thickness will return with healthy and nutritional eating.

I think my biggest fear is failure. Closer to my surgery I'm sure it will change. I hate going under, the whole not being in control thing!

I'm worried about the first time I get stuck.

My hair is already thin so if it gets much thinner I'll have to start wearing hats all the time.

I'm sure I'll think of more

My fears too....how do we overcome these fears??

I fear getting stuck. I already have choking episodes, so this just compounds it.

I fear losing hair...,but it will grow back.

I dont fear failing. I WILL NOT put my body through this surgery, drill 5 holes in my stomach, drastically change my eating habits for life and not be a success! failure is not an option the day I go into surgery. No way. No how.

I fear the feeling of defeat. Intellectually I know that isnt the case..but I'm a very competitive person and feel that I should be able to do this on my own....yet, I have not been able to. I did lose 90 lbs in 1992 but gained it all back and lost 60 lbs in 2005 and gained it back.. So i see lapband as a way to lose it and permanently keep it off. Losing and gaining is not healthy....and gaining and keeping it on is not healthy.. So this is how I have come to the conclusion that I must go thru with WLS.

My hubby has got me all worried!! He keeps asking me if I'm ready to not be able to eat out again like a "normal" person and have to worry about going to the restroom while out with friends and family to go vomit! He makes me so worried about it. He's supportive no matter what I decide, but I really don't think he wants me to do it (

I don't consider myself normal. If I was, I would be able to control my eating. The more I read on here the more I understand the Lap-Band being a tool for which I will learn to use. Maybe he is just scared for you?

I am not telling anyone right now, which isn't easy for me either. I'm normally an open book.

IF after my surgery, when I start losing the weight and getting ask lots of questions, I may change my mind but for now I'm keeping it to myself. If you think about it, there a tons of things we don't share with those around us. Why? Because it's none of their business. How much did you pay for your house? How much do you make each year? Who did you vote for in the last election? When did you have sex last? The list goes on and on. These are personal questions most people avoid. My lap band surgery is just as personal and I'll share it with when I'm ready.

I'm not typically an open book, but I will share my experiences if I think I might be able to help someone. You're right, though, about it being personal, and thanks for helping me put it in perspective. We can always choose to share later.