Hi, I haven't posted in a while. Back when I did post I was planning to have the surgery soon after but then I just postponed it for the Spring being that I thought we'd have a harsh winter and I didn't feel like schleping to NYU Hospital from Queens for all the Dr.'s appointments. Plus with the holidays approaching I figured it would be too difficult to start the process during that time. I turned 38 last month, and I am about 5'1 and over 215 pounds. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I am taking meds for my pressure and my doctor also recommended a baby aspirin a day. I was given the sleep apnea machine but stopped using it because I feel like it doesn't help and it's too difficult to sleep with it. I want this surgery, I want to lose the weight. I am scared though. I am afraid that I won't be able to have the will power. I am going to try my best and give it my all because I know I have to in order for it to work and avoid complications. However, I suffer from depression and anxiety and I think I see food as the only thing I have control over. I hate when my family tells me what to eat or not eat. It used to be that I didn't really eat a lot, just the wrong things like fast food. In my mind, I say to myself, let me eat whatever I want because it's what makes me happy and brings me comfort. I want to lose weight for my health because I am a single mother and my child has no one but me. I need to live. I have been criticized so much about my weight by my family which is most hurtful that I don't want to do this to please anyone. People can be so superficial and hurtful...I know this is the way our society is...sadly so. I just want to do this for me and my daughter. I try to give myself incentives in my mind, telling myself that I will be healthy, I will have more energy, it may improve my depression symptoms and self-esteem. I will be able to actually enjoy shopping for clothes for myself and looking at myself in the mirror without being disgusted at myself. Right now, I just wear my "uniform" my jeans and t-shirts and don't really ever buy anything for myself.

I hope someone here can relate. I have medicaid and medicare and I know I have to call the medicare office to get clearance. I am so nervous to make that call I don't know why. Can someone please explain to me what I need to say exactly. Who do I ask for?

I have to start the process now I figure, if I want to get the surgery done by the spring.

I will try to log in here more often because I really need I feel the support from people who understand. Thanks anybody who took the time to read this.

Mari

Good Morning Mari....In reading your post, I noticed one major thing that stuck out. You are trying to give yourself incentives to get the surgery...U named on incentive that stopped me in my tracks. Your child! I myself have two children and made my decision for the mere fact that I love my husband and children more than anything in this world. I want to be here for them for as long as God sees fit. Like you said...Don't worry about what people are going to say or do. They don't have to know what you are doing to an extent (with the exception of your immediate family)...U chosing to do this to prolong you health and life is exceptional. I applaud you for that.

Have you contacted a surgeon? Alot of the times they have seminars that they require you to attend before having surgery...I would start with contacting a high recommended surgeon and go from there. My surgeon's office took care of all of my insurance requests and requirements. I did no leg work. Let the surgeon's office do all the work for you. Then you know everything is done right.

I look forward to hearing about your WLS journey and success!!! Good Luck...It took me a long time to decide as well and I am finally scheduled for surgery on Feb 7th. Best of Luck to you sweetie!

Thank You so much for your support. Yes, my child needs me. From my family, I basically have only to people that understand and support me. My child and my father. I even think my child is much more sensitive about the whole situation. It is a sensitive subject for me, but I am glad I am going to do this. I was referred to a surgeon by my Primary Care Doctor and I did attend a seminar. She said that I have to call the Medicare office myself which made me nervous when I heard about it. I will speak to my PCP again and see if he might help me make this call or speak to her about this. Thanks for your advice. All the best with your surgery!! I'm excited for you. Keep me posted on how you do.

Mari

Mari,

The biggest reason to have the surgery is for YOU!!! No one else, nothing else but YOU!!!!