:help: Hello,

Thank you for speaking with me. Many questions, doubts, confusion...

My doctor recently told me basically lose 150# or else. I weigh 295# - I weigh more than some farm animals....My blood pressure is high, my diabetes is in poor control, apnea, cholesterol, you name it - and every year he has to increase my meds. I'm only 46, I feel like I'm 56 and I'll be lucky to make it to 56 without a stroke or heart attack or kidney failure. He said might be time for lapband.

So many people that I've mentioned this to are opposed to me having it done. "You're not that fat", "just diet and exercise", "that's for people who are really sick", "that's a cop out for only 150#", "surgery is only for people who are REALLY fat", etc.

I'm 6 feet tall so I don't look as heavy as I really am. And I agree with some of the things that have been said. Why DON"T I just diet and exercise? I suspect that's the $10,000 question for a lot of people in this boat. It's not like I'm not physically capable of exercise, I am. I just don't do it. And yes, I could shut my jaws, but I don't. Part of the problem is I was always thin until mid 30s and I still think like a thin person.

And I hear comments all over the board - you can't eat many things, you can't take any pill form medicine, you shouldn't do this until you've tried every diet and exhausted all other possibilities. Well how will I take my meds if I can't swallow a pill? I have these big tablets for PCOS that can't be cut up. What about capsules? Why can't you take them? What kinds of things can't you eat? I don't want to spend the rest of my life having to draw attention to my 'special needs' eating.

Will it be worth it to me overall or will I just be an unhappy whiner - I have reflux, my port bothers me, I want a steak, whine whine whine. I hear people talking about making a commitment to your band. Well how do you do that when you've not been able to commit to diet and exercise in the past? It's not like you wake up with a whole new brain...

And what if you vomit? I mean really vomit, not PBing. How can something as tiny as a straw handle something as violent as full on stomach flu vomiting without damaging something? And do you feel your port like if it presses up against something or someone presses up against you?

Basically I think this is a cop out for me and I'm ashamed of myself for even considering it since I SHOULD just diet and exercise it off. One minute I'm like YES I'm doing this and the next I'm like what the hell are you thinking you lazy ass.

I hope I've made some sense and I hope I haven't said anything rude. Your insights would really help. Thank you.

NO ONE can make this decision but you! You have to start this entire process by taking control of your own decisions and thoughts and make your own conclusions on what is best for YOUR body. But... here are some thoughts to help you ponder.... Some is tough love, some is probably great advice, some of it is just pure thoughts.... enjoy.

My doctor recently told me basically lose 150# or else ((think about this comment))

My blood pressure is high, my diabetes is in poor control, apnea, cholesterol, you name it ((weight loss surgeries have been known to either completely make these items disappear or help them greatly))

So many people that I've mentioned this to are opposed ((again, it is YOUR body, YOUR decisions, who cares what other people think?? HECK WITH THEM, make the decision for YOU!))

you can't take any pill form medicine ((not true))

you shouldn't do this until you've tried every diet ((many of us have tried many diets but that isn't to say that you can't have it or don't deserve it if you have only tried a couple))

wake up with a whole new brain... ((it sure feels like you do, things are definitely different and it doesn't take long for your brain to catch up with the new situation, and when you look back later, you wonder why you weren't able to do all this before... it is because now you have the correct tool))

spend the rest of my life having to draw attention to my 'special needs' eating ((going to the buffets before banding drew more attention than eating small portions now))

How can something as tiny as a straw handle something as violent as full on stomach flu vomiting ((not gonna lie, it isn't fun, but there are give and takes to any situation... plus it is important that you take your Vitamins, stay healthy in levels internally, get your flu shot and all is okay))

Basically I think this is a cop out for me ((I think this will be your biggest hurdle to overcome))

Throughout your posting I saw that you are having trouble telling yourself that you DESERVE to be healthy and happy. Now, I don't know you or your life but one of the best things about LBT and the online support is that no one knows you, so no one can judge and there is a TON of support here. We cry about each other and don't know one another. We feel each others pain and don't know each other. We think of each other throughout the day and don't know each other. We love and support one another (even through some disputes) and yet we don't know each other.

You need to remember that YOU are the only one that can make YOU feel better. Not the person that you tell about your decision, not the person that looks at you as if you took the easy way out, not the person that tells you is is "only 150 lbs", not the person that wonders why you are eating small portions. YOU! You make the difference in your life. YOU are empowering yourself with choice and self understanding. YOU are making decisions for what is best for you. YOU are the one that is living within your own skin. MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU!

My suggestion.... Spend time writing out the pros and cons without emotionality. See which one is more prominant. Get your thoughts and feelings together inside of you and come to a better self understanding of your desires, wants and needs. Stop being people pleasing and pamper your mind and emotions. Do your research on the options and tools available. Surround yourself with people that are not necessarily surgery supporters but are Ri-Ri supporters and will support you in ANY decison you make in a positive light. You will come up with the right answer that best fits you.

Sorry this was long and winded.... GOOD LUCK!!!!

Ri Ri,

Well, to be honest all of this is up to you, not what you've heard your friends and family tell you not too. I weighed in after the birth of my child at 296 when i finally decided to have something done i was 250. Now, I had sleep apnea, my back hurt, i couldn't do anything and i felt 10years older than I'am. I went to Mexico for my first band and I caught hell from everyone about it. But, it is a commitment, like any other diet, except this stops you from over eating. And yes, i take alot of pills too, i had to ask my doctor to switch to smaller ones or ones i could break, if they are too big you crush them and put them in yogart, if they are a capsules you take them out and put them in yogart, just like the nursing homes do to the elderly. Now, I've had my band for over 3years, Yes my band slipped (my fault jumped on the side of my truck) had it replaced and haven't had a problem since. I do throw up when I'm sick and I do Pb alot and throw up if I didn't chew my food properly. I've learned to deal with eat, and eat slowly in front of people and sit by the bathroom in resturants. I got down to about 130lbs and my port showed thru my stomach, but it has never bothered me, I put on about 30 or so more lbs now and instead of my size 2's and 4's i'm in a 10 or 12. It really bothers me because I worked so hard to loose that weight, but I'm not 250lbs and i don't have anything in my band right now so i'm trying to do this w/out the fill. You are 6ft tall, and my doctor told me the same thing, you will die, get diabetes and all that other great stuff. This is all your choice, and yes I did do the diet pills and stuff, and i could've stuck to a diet and exercised but i didn't. I hope some this helps. This is only my opinion and my journey.

Leanna

Yes my band slipped (my fault jumped on the side of my truck) had it replaced

HUH? How did your band slip???

Jenna,

I think I had my band almost a year, I was washing it and thru my floor mats in the bed of my truck which i had just gotten, i jumped on the back tire and tried to reach the mats but couldn't so i thought i was miss. gymnastics again and jumped up on the bed with both hands (like on the uneven bars in gymnastics) and landed on my stomach, I new right away cuz it hurt, then after that i would wake up in the middle of the night with food in my throat, so i went and got a barium and it showed it slipped (i had the big 11cm band from mexico) i had it replaced with the new band in Richardson.

banded Sept 03 255lbs

rebanded Oct 04 210lbs

hit sweet spot for over a year and didn't need a fill up until August of this year ( only cuz i got a staph infect )and stayed 135lbs until i got my fill taken out and i have nothing in it right now.

Today I'm at 170lbs that sucks!!!!!!!!! I need a fill but having problems with swelling.

Leanna

Thank you all for your kind words & tough words. You are right it IS my journey, no matter what anyone else says. I also know it will be a tough journey and I want to go into it fully informed and ready. I appreciate the honesty.

I went to an online support group when I had my hysterectomy and I KNOW that I fared better than I would have doing it on my own. Sure my doctor can tell me what to 'expect' or what it's 'like', but unless s/he has lived it, it's not the same. The ladies on that board had SO much advice/support, that I wasn't afraid and I knew how to prepare and best recover.

Has anyone used the BARIX group of doctors? Their site looked impressive, but anyone can build a nice website.

Ri Ri,

I don't know the BARIX groups. I use Dr. Maese, and he is great with a lot of experience. I will say one more thing about having the band. That emotionally and mentally it changed me and I had a really hard time excepting the way I looked, when I wore a size 2 jeans I still felt fat.

I went through my first year trying to eat and throwing up, I guess that would be bulemia, then the second and third year I just stopped eating period except Soup and Water no exercise and no Vitamins, (which i shouldn't have done!!!!) So, I guess you could say that was anorexia, now I'm eating and gaining some weight trying to eat healthy w/out a fill. And yes I go to a counsler too. The band isn't for everyone, but by listening to other people talk and what they eat and what they went through helped me a whole lot, and at times I'd wished I hadn't done it. But, I can play with my 8year old w/out getting winded and my back doesn't hurt, my sleep apnea is gone, I'm not as at risk for diabetes and I get hit on more so than just people looking at my fat body.

Leanna

I personally think that instead of researching the doctor right now, you should be looking more towards researching the procedure, the successes, the information pertaining to the procedures, how it works, what all happens, etc. Researching a doctor takes a lot less time than researching the material needed to inform yourself so that you can ask the right questions of the doctor. If you don't know what your asking, then you won't know what to expect the surgeon to say or what you want them to say. I think that in a doctor you are looking at so much more than just his skill, but his personality, compassion, knowledge, personal feelings towards obesity, etc. Arm yourself with knowledge and then you aren't walking into a consultation with a doctor blind. Plus, it also shows a surgeon that you are committed to this option and have taken the time to research it.

I did research on the Gastric bypass for almost a year before I decided to get a lapband, and I was fully informed about it and how it works, but you don't know until you have it done. Before I got the band i got on the chat site and asked lots of questions and didn't understand what they where talking about, but I chatted and read what they had to say and it helped me alot after I got the band, I then understood what they were talking about.

I disagree with the above statement. I think that it is like recommending a "try it free for 30 days" type method and I think that could be really devastating if you made a wrong choice. Knowledge is power. Do more than just chat boards. Read the medical journals, get involved with your decision. If you don't understand what they are talking about by surgery date, then you aren't ready. Just what I think. I think too many people are rushing around to get a fix and I constantly see members come here and ask really general questions and they are to be banding in a week. That to me is crazy.

Jenna,

I'm sorry that you disagree with what I said. I didn't mention that the year I did research that I did tons of reading and read medical journals of the trials they had about it and anything and or everyone who did know about it I asked (at the time of my research they had yet to approve the band in the US and the only chat room I could find was one from Australia becuz they have been doing it there for a while) I'm not one of those members who comes on here and chats and then have banding in a week, your right that is crazy! I also did not do this for a quick fix, if that was so I wouldn't be trying to maintain my weight by eating properly w/out a fill. The "try it for 30 days" was not what I was meaning at all. I came on this chat room for support and by my journey you could see that i need that support now, that was only my opinion. Also, I'd like to mention that the trials at the time of my research were being done in Florida and I found the dr. there w/ whom he gave me some patients email address for info, and I became friends with one of them and her journey.

Ri Ri

I hope you find what you are looking for and take all of the advise and information you can get. Good luck on you journey I'm sure whatever you do will be the right choice, no matter who agrees and don't

Leanna

banded sept 2003 250lb

rebanded oct 2004 210lbs

sweet spot 1.9 got to 135lbs

took it out (the fill) and am now 170 and trying to stay w/out a fill

Thanks for clearing that up, I understand where you are coming from now. I hope you did not think I was attacking you personally but merely challenging the information that I was going on at the time and my own opinion about the posting, before I had the additional information to make the opinion. Plus I was additionally making a blanket comment not about you personally but overall frustrations. I should have divided it into paragraphs for ease of understanding intentions.

Jenna,

It's hard to tell people your opinion when you don't tell the whole story behind it, I guess I will make myself clearer. I just came back on here for support and if anyone needs advise (i'm no expert by any means) I will let them know what has happend to me. No offense taken