I am going to word this kindly and with concern - I'm not ranting at anyone okay? I'm caring here. I'm not waving the big stick of judgement.

Why bandsters and and the bandless, are you allowing temptation through your front door?

I have seen many posts, by many people (the most recent was the evil cookie dough thread that triggered this post) talking about the terrible food they are allowing in their house.

If its not cookie dough, its pizza being brought home by the spouse, ice cream to italian food.

I fully understand that many of us have a clearly defined eating disorder (because thats how I view a lot of obesity) and that we suffer terrible cravings, but I have to ask why more of us (you) aren't putting our foot down and saying "GET THIS CRAP OUTA MY HOUSE".

This comes from my current dietary success. I am losing weight because there is no crap in the house. The chips are gone, the bread is gone, there's no ice cream, no beer, nothing I can go "ooo I want that" with.

I think its about time we started fwapping the Pizza Delivery spouse, beating the candy man and denying sexual favors to Kenny Cookiedough.

Come on folks, its hard enough to live the healthy life outside of your front door, please, my friends, stop bringing the crap inside your door

Perhaps you might cry "But what of my family? They like ...". Well one of two things has to happen, success in your weight loss and ultimate health, or your family eating cookie dough and pizza.

For me? its a no brainer.

This post is not intended to offend or upset. If it does upset and offend you, all I can say is that this is my rant and I won't apologise for it.

Opps... sorry I reminded you of Cashews.

My poor husband has lost 15 pounds since I started this whole thing. His family has the opposite problem that we do - can't keep weight on. We worry about his scrawny dad, and his mom passed away at barely 100 pounds. His brother wears sweat pants under his jeans all year round to fill them out.

My husband needs to eat more than the average guy. Why should he be the one suffereing? He's doing his best to help me by making me salads every night, but he misses me. I often eat dinner alone to avoid looking at what he has. He accepted me at my heaviest and missses the eating part of our companionship.

And Dawg never suggested going out into the world with picket signs, 'STOP UNFAIR TEMPTATION OF THE OBESE!'

WHY NOT? Isn't it time we fight back? I'm in.

Lisa you remind me of a funny thing a friend of the family said one day. He is in AA, and when stopped drinking he took up eating. He gained 70 pounds. We were concerned about him, and asked him what was going on. He said "Simple, one vice for another. But at least no one ever got a ticket for driving while full of ice cream."

Its comical, but we have to keep this in mind. We are compulsive people. We have to become compuslive about healthier things. Like workouts, or sex. I know, when done right it is the same thing.

My husband needs to eat more than the average guy. Why should he be the one suffereing? He's doing his best to help me by making me salads every night, but he misses me. I often eat dinner alone to avoid looking at what he has. He accepted me at my heaviest and missses the eating part of our companionship.

Wow, my hand went over my mouth and I just sat here staring at the screen with this one. This really really hit home with me. Eating has become so much a part of the love we share with our family. A meal together is bonding time. Seeing the smile on our child's face when we hand them a warm cookie melts our hearts. We see it on TV all the time. Hell, the grocery carts have ads on them now.. "Show your family just how much you love them.. bake them some Betty Crocker yadda yadda" By the reactions on this and other threads, it is finally hitting me what's going on. We all truly believe that we are taking love from our famliy if we DENY them sweets or fattening foods. This is brainwashing damnit! It IS time we fought back.

We can hand our families healthy Snacks. We can sit with our spouses and eat healthy meals! food is good - healthy food. I don't care how much you try to convince me that potato chips, Cookies, ice cream, pizza, etc is good.. it is UNHEALTHY for anyone. Wake up America! 50% of us are obese now. 50%! This is not all disease, or heriditary. This is us buying into the BS of the people who are making a fortune on us all. I'm sick of it, and I'm boycotting it! :faint: I'm done. heh

I agree it's a good idea to feed the whole family healthier. But again, when only one person has a problem then suddenly fwaps (thanks Nut, love that new addition to my vocab) the whole family with new habits just isn't right...

And why do I feel this way? Because me and 99% of you have all dieted in the past. We've all cleaned out our kitchens and committed to healthier lifestyles. But little by little, the old habits creep in. Soon the kids see a big bag of Doritos. Then the pizzas start rolling in, then Ben and Jerry are knocking out the door because, "Mommy is being bad." Then BOOM, Mommy is good again so there go the Snacks. We fight the Yo-Yo Syndrome, why make the whole family go through it, too?

Many bandsters have gained back some or all of their weight. Remind yourselves of that.

So Susan, how many signs do you think we'll need?

Many bandsters have gained back some or all of their weight. Remind yourselves of that.

NO! I refuse to remind myself of that. That was them, doesnt have to be me! :lalala:

Why aren't we standing up and saying, 'Wow, I had that conviction when I started too. And I was doing well then. I may have dropped the ball but I can and will pick it back up!" Oh no, instead I'm hearing, "Yeah yeah, give up now.. it's just a matter of time before you shrug this off too. Youre just excited because this is new. Just wait, you'll screw up and we'll all be there to remind you of it." Come on people! We shouldn't be p'shawing the fresh blood and excitement. We should be clinging to it and using it to help us keep going. Im a big one for analogies.. so here comes one. A man is lying in the desert, dying of thirst, his skin blistered by the sun. Another man rides up on a fresh horse and says, 'Her man, let me give you a hand up we'll ride together and surely we can find a town soon.' The dying may looks up and says, 'You might as well shoot that horse now mister. It's only a matter of time before he falls over dead and you'll be laying here like me.' Bah!

So Susan, how many signs do you think we'll need?

Hm.. only a few by the looks of it. Not everyone is willing to fight just yet.

I' Watch my calorie intake very very close,Witch work's for me,However, im not on a diet Just what I' like to call it Self............( RESTRICTION ).....I try to watch all the Junk food that we buy! because I am the one who is responable for the Junk my kids eat,I try always to feed them fruit and any thing healthy!

One day a week like friday I will allow my self to go over my limit and have a big fat piece of chocolet cake? or some thing, Because this way Im not fighting the (HEAD DEMONS) and it works for me.

butting getting back to the post in hand, if you don't have the( JUNK food ) around to eat then you don,t have to worrie about eatting eat. eather!

Good luck hope that you are all losing weight!JOHNQ

Why should I expect my husband to suffer just because I have a disease? Why would anyone want their spouse to change? I think that's very selfish. My decision to lose weight shouldn't affect anybody but myself.

Actually, I consider removing rubbish from the house and feeding my kids and my DH the type of food I'm eating responsible and loving. Feeding my children rubbish is not a loving motherly thing to do. Everybody in my family has benefitted from me having this surgery.

We never had freezers full of cookie dough anyhow, we did eat reasonably healthy but junk food does not equal love and motherly duty, nor does it equal wifely duty.

It just distresses me to read the theme through these posts "if it were that easy we wouldnt have needed a lap band". That's a cop out people. At some point in your lives if you're going to get over this weight problem, you simply have to get past that type of thinking.

With the utmost love and respect to everyone here - there are all sorts of tragic, horrible or even very ordinary circumstances that have lead everybody to develop the problems they have but at the very heart of it Dawg's statement is quite correct. It comes down to YOUR choice, and each and everyone of us has to face that. It doesnt matter what excuses you have, how plausible they are, your choices are what matter and it is YOUR choice to let that temptation into your house. You cant pass the buck.

That (and Dawg's original statements) are not harsh, not in the least. They're the truth. But they make people so defensive because deep down we all know that it's true.

But it's not all or nothing. I bet not one of us will never have a binge again! Each day I go to bed thinking tomorrow MUST be better than today was, but each week, those days add up to have been good enough. YOu dont have to be a perfect bandster for the rest of your life to beat this either, just good enough.

But if we shoot the ice cream man? The poor, sweat ice cream man?

Hmmm.

I think I know what I want for my birthday!

Thanks to everyone for adding their thoughts. I really believe that its not selfish to ask your spouse or children to eat healthy. It can definately be argued that its selfish of your spouse and kids to want to continue to eat crap at the risk of your health.

Viewpoints change depending on where you stand.

Maybe my zeal is because I'm fresh and fired up. I don't feel fresh and fired up. I feel like I'm teetering on the brink of disaster.

Kryssa - I am so happy you are more lovable than a packet of deep fried spud shavings. I am extremely happy for you!

This is said very lightly..I think that people, even me, take posts like this very defensively because we are fat, we do fight our demons everyday and if it was just as simple as not bringing food into the house we would all be thin. You want these posts to hit a string with people. You and PNut are very good at asking the tough questions, but unfortunately they are worded in a way of condescending manner that I can't place my finger on. This is essentially the same posts that Pnut had about people bitchin about what they ate and still don't know why they are fat. I guess it feels condescending to me because we are all smart enough to know these things, and being that we are either interested in the band or have had the band, most of us have dealt with this issue for years...so the whole take the temptation outta the house and you will lose weight paradigm, seems condescending. TO ME, I was like, oh why didn't I think of that! Oh yeah , I did at 18 when I started getting fat! I know that your posts bring on the back and forth of differing opinions that you love to incite as you have said in previous post, so you can't take it defensively yourself when someone gets defensive about it. To ME, these posts like this feel like a Dawg and Pnut tag team event, again, to me. I just thought this might shed some light on the defensiveness seen in ya'll's most recent posts. I do understand both sides and I do enjoy the back and forth just as much. I am just giving my initial opinion. Thanks for listening or deciding to dismiss whichever you feel.

Kim,

This post is addressed to you, but only parts of this applies to your message. This is a generic feeling note and is also for anyone willing to listen.

Its interesting you referred to this as a rehash of the same subject line that P'Nut posted. I asked the same thing of her and she felt it was quite a different subject.

I'm certainly not trying for condescending, thats the furthest thing from my mind.

I tried in my very first post to state that if this doesn't apply to you, or if you don't think it helpful, disreguard it. I can't do more than that.

I am starting to feel like asking anything contentious is almost 'against' the rules. Well I am going to continue asking contentious questions, and I will continue to speak as I do, because thats the only way I know how to be (other than vicious).

I won't mollycoddle people. If I see a common thread of people suffering the same torments I will provide a solution (if I can think of one).

They can take it, or leave it. As they please.

If anyone on this board wants to disreguard my posts, or my wifes posts, as condescending over zealous rhetoric, thats totally fine.

But here's the bottom line. I don't want to be fat. I don't want you to be fat. If I have found a way to help me stop being fat, I'll share it. If one single person thinks twice about it - its worth every slam, every defensive wording, and every person who dismisses it.

Believe me, if anyone on this board wants to have a five course meal of cookie dough, french fries, ice cream, chocolate and cake, far be it from me to stop them. They have made their choice and they can live with it.

If one person thinks "man I wish I had some Cookies. Wait there's none in the house because I threw it all coz of that bastard dawg, I'll have to eat oatmeal instead" - my work here is done.

Kim, I am sorry you see this as the Dawg and P'Nut show. We think alike, we are alike, and that isn't going to change. Right now you have two choices. You can ignore us, or you can get to know us.

Maybe we'll end up just like all of the negative people want us. Failing and falling by the wayside. Maybe when I'm back over three hundred pounds and in a coronary care unit, it might make one person here say "damn I wish I had been supportive, instead of whispering on their upcoming failure"

People talk about the change of 'feel' in the board. Maybe it's because there are people willing to fight for what they think is right. From what I've heard there is always someone being singled out as the argumentative or contentious troublemaker.

Well, if thats me. So be it.

I don't take any offence at your post Kim, I hope you will take the time to get to know the way I am, and the way I talk. I'm an overbearing, overstuffed SOB, but you are getting to see a side of myself that I don't share with many people. You are getting to see the over bearing, overstuffed 'caring' SOB.

Know me before you finish drawing your conclusions. I am human, I do the best I can.

It was a post of my initial gut feeling from your original post. Like I said I totally love reading it all, but I can see where sensitives like me take it personally. Again, I know it isn't meant to be as seen in the first line of this posts. Mostly I am just nosey and like for people to listen to my opinions whether they agree or not. I do like the perspectives on this site and yours and P's is among the ones I love to read. Don't stop em coming, just don't get upset when people take them defensively and voice back their own opinions. Don't just dismiss them as you did in this post with a previous poster and write them off, their opinion just like yours is one that should be able to be voiced and if you feel the hostility in them don't bite back but try to understand where they are coming from too. I need my gung ho back too, but weightloss is such a personal and huge mind opening experience that we can't all relate to what everyone says and does. I don't want to not post even when it doesn't involve me because I am nosey. I do hope we all get to know each other better and can understand better where we are all coming from. This chica needs some good insight so BRING IT!!!

Oh, It's already been broughten!!! hehehe! I love that movie, I just had to throw that in the end.

I hope this wasn't too rambly...

Hey I am open to opinions, even the ones who disagree with me.

I only stamp on people who give me descriptors like "Preachy" and "pedantic" (I didn't mind the preachy nearly as much as the claim of pedantry).

I'll listen to all opinions, but if someone actually derides me, I will stamp on that person and dismiss them out of hand. I do that as my right.

If that poster had presented a thoughtful post as you did Kim, my reaction would have been much the same as it was to yours.

Approach is everything. If that poster had said "look I totally disagree with you for the following reasons" I would have read it (much like I did with Vine's posts) and would have debated with them.

To simply stuff on a few labels isn't constructive. I am, for the most part, reasonable.

"I am, for the most part, reasonable."

That made me giggle!

I do give you and P some props. I would never allow my husband to be on this site with me. I could never bitch about him if he were able to see me do it, it takes the fun out. P must have some other site she goes to for that. HA! Thanks for listening!<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->