I have not told a bunch of people that I am having surgery just because I don't care about how they feel about it. It is my decision and my family is supportive of me. I have a couple of friends who had gastric bypass and sleeve and of course they know. I decided to tell my best friend (BFF's for almost 30 yrs) and she told me she has mixed feelings about it. It seems like she is trying to talk me out of it because "she knows someone who had this" and had this problem and that problem. I guess I'm just scared that it could affect our friendship...and who knows how many others. Anyone else had this happen?

Don't let negativity stand in the way of your goals. The truth is if you keep doing what you've always done-you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

This is YOUR life-own it! Have you read the success stories on this forum? That should help inspire you. As far as your friend goes- well-they are her feelings but this is YOUR body. You probably have mixed emotions too-but you need to keep your eye on the prize (being skinny and getting healthy).

I don'tthink my BFF (of over 40 yrs.) will be supportive at all so I am opting not to tell her my daily progress-and that's okay. She's still my friend but the focus of our friendship will not be my weight loss. You can do this-really you can! Remember you are the captain of this ship-not anyone else-it's your life girl-you've got this!

Oh, it is not going to change my mind...I am ready! It is just disappointing when people you care about aren't supportive. I am ready for the change!

Honey, I too am pre op but the only people who've tried to talk me out of it, don't know about the Lap Band. The complications were to people who had the othe procedures. Most people don't know about the lap band but only the by-pass.

Looks like you need to lose 105 lbs I need to lose much more and I am 52. You sound young. Please don't give possibly having a longer and healthier life up to hear say. Maybe the friend is afraid you're going to change toward her if you lose weight.I've had a couple of people ask me that stupid question. UHHH yeah I'm gonna be happier and feel better so I will change for the best.

If your friend can't handle you getting healthy then, that isn't much of a friend.

Do what you and your Drs feel is best. Not what others who really have no clue think. It's your life at stake. Best of luck. My surgery is on May 19th.

Hugs,

Rose

I have not told a bunch of people that I am having surgery just because I don't care about how they feel about it. It is my decision and my family is supportive of me. I have a couple of friends who had gastric bypass and sleeve and of course they know. I decided to tell my best friend (BFF's for almost 30 yrs) and she told me she has mixed feelings about it. It seems like she is trying to talk me out of it because "she knows someone who had this" and had this problem and that problem. I guess I'm just scared that it could affect our friendship...and who knows how many others. Anyone else had this happen?

Hi,

I know how you feel. I haven't told that many people. Especially the ones that I feel will have "some kind of opinion". The truth is, yours is the only one that counts. The surgical coordinator said, if you do not want to tell people, and they ask about your weightloss, just tell them, your eating less and exercising more, which is the truth of the matter.

I am nervous myself about my up coming surgery which will be on May 19th, but I am trying to think past it and keep my eye on the prize.

Noone but you has talked to your doctor and have been provided the information. You have chosen to come to the right place filled with so many who have had the same procedure as you. I think the more you prepare and educate yourself, the better you'll be.

Best of luck to you. Keep your Chin up!

Sherry

(sheran4eva)

Don't let the negativity stand in your way. Honestly it might be a little bit of jealously and that's not surprising. Just keep your chin up and keep your eye on the prize.

i agree with Elizabeth. some of it may be jealous. i personally feel my sister is jealous cuz she wants it to but her husband says no. that being said i only discuss it with her and my mom if THEY bring it up and even then i keep it brief. if people are your 'REAL' friends they will support your decision, all others, push right past them and keep it moving. best wishes hun!

I know how u feel. I wasn't going to tell anyone and decide that if they are my true friends they going to stand by me..The reason I wasn't going to tell anyone cause everyone already as told me I didn't need to lose weight every time I was with other means beside the lap band. Like all of us they all worked but u gain it back plus more. I weight 190 and didn't have all the health issues. That's why I wanted this surgery was to avoid having health issue due to over weight. Am sure some of you will say the same that I didn't need the lap band. I have no regrets so far and some friends told me I was crazy...ok so am crazy but now am losing the weight and they are not....so if u really want this and I say go for it and don't worry about what anyone thinks or says. This is about u begin healthy and happy with ur self....Good luck and hope everything goes well for u.

I totally understand how you feel! I chose not to tell anyone but my hubby and our two children! They are so excited that's all we talk about! I didn't feel like anyone else would understand or even worse they would be jelous! I have been a nurse for 10 years, and I can tell you the complications of being overweight for a long period of time for exceeds the possible complications of the lapband! I work in the Cardiac ICU! Nearly all the patients I take care of with major heart problems are obese! I've seen first hand what it can do to pple to be overweight! Most pple don't think about that they just want to dwell on the neg. of the surgery! You are making the right decision. Stay strong! It's your health and your future not theirs! The lapband is an opportunity of a lifetime. There are alot of pple who want it, and will never get it due to crappy insurance, not enought money etc. Those of us who are getting this chance are so lucky! I am excited for you!

I'm in ya'lls (I'm from the south) same boat! I have told only my husband and a cousin. Not even my mom, sister or best friend know. We all have weight issues and I feel like if I tell them, they will say I'm taking the "easy" way and try to talk me out of it. Really they just want me to stay fat with them! I can feel their pain though. It would suck to stay the fatty while one of them was losing all their weight and looking good. But I gotta do what I gotta do!! And so do you!!! I plan to just keep it to myself until I've had success and then I'll give my secret away and hopefully they will eventually be able to have the surgery done too! Best of luck to ya'll

Thank you everyone! I think she realized she upset me and has been trying to make up for it the past couple of days. I appreciate your reinforcement and wish you all luck as well!!

I have not told a bunch of people that I am having surgery just because I don't care about how they feel about it. It is my decision and my family is supportive of me. I have a couple of friends who had gastric bypass and sleeve and of course they know. I decided to tell my best friend (BFF's for almost 30 yrs) and she told me she has mixed feelings about it. It seems like she is trying to talk me out of it because "she knows someone who had this" and had this problem and that problem. I guess I'm just scared that it could affect our friendship...and who knows how many others. Anyone else had this happen?

Why would you getting healthier affect your relationship she should be happy that you are making a decsion that will help keep you happy.

Hey

I haven't told anyone either. My parents know (only because I'm on my dad's insurance) and I finally told my brother. No one else knows. Honestly, it's because I don't need anymore "doctors" in my life. Because once you tell someone that you'll be having surgery and dieting, they suddenly become unlicensed doctors! "Eat this, eat that. You'll have to do this. Now don't do that." Not only that, but I also feel like it's a personal matter. I don't care if others don't agree with this. I'm unhealthy and need to change my life. I want a long and happy life, and this is going to change it for good. Just be true to yourself and everything else will just fall into place.

My first time banded I told everyone. Well I heard nothing but bad news all the way around.

Now that I have been refilled by a new surgeon, in a new town. I have told no one.

It's none of there business if there only going to complain about it, or talk to me like they are

someone that has walked in my shoes.

If she is truly your Best Friend. Once you have this done, she will be there to support you.

Or she's really not a true best friend.

You have to do whats wright, and healthy for you.

She should come around to sensible thinking.

Shirley.

Ok so this is common. I haven't told that many people, but 1 good friend of mine that i thought would b supportive was SOOOO NEGATIVE!! i was actually shocked at her long, drawn out response! I am NOT telling any of my coworkers because like stated b4- I dont want anymore unlicensed dr advice! Waiting for insurance approval (fingers crossed!)

Yes, I have a friend who said, "you're not that big" well quite honestly I am THAT BIG. It is hard my mom is coming around more and more to the idea but at first she was really mad and made a lot of rude comments, she still does. I feel like I have friends that will try and jeopardize my progress. I am with ya!! We gotta hang in there!