I cried for the first time...
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So through this journey, I have focused on my health and the positives of WLS. I haven't felt that it was for vanity, I mean come on I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to struting a small size infront of a few ex husbands... haha
But today, for the first time I found myself momentarily ashamed... Disgusted at myself, and distraught over my decision...
I sat at my desk, choking down my "shake" wishing and longing for a Milky Way to be quite frank, as I over hear a group of nurses... NURSES standing at my desk talking about WLS. Of course, being on the "Band Wagon" so to speak, I listen...
"People that have weight loss surgery are just lazy, if they spent half the time and effort they put into surgery they would just lose the weight."
"Obesity isn't a disease, its called being lazy and wanting attention."
All of this coming from a group of women that probably never broke the 130lb mark. It didn't register in my head immediatly.. It took about 30 minutes for it to really hit me on my way home.. SERIOUSLY U THINK IF I WANTED ATTENTION I WOULD CHOSE NEGATIVE FATTY ATTENTION??? WTF... I will admit this.. I cried... a lot on my way home tonight, wondering what other people say or think of me.. While this wasn't a direct insult to me, I sure as hell am taking it that way. Am I just being lazy, were all my weight loss attempts just not enough, did I not dedicate myself enough...
I have been very open and honest about my journey... sharing and educating as much as I can.. I even found myself this morning asking myself as I read some blogs and post on this lapband support site.. Why would people hide this, and make it this HUGE secret??? It is such an amazing gift... Well my friends these SKINNY BITCHES I work with have given me that reason.. I however am not going to stop.. I am going to continue to be open and honest, and quite frankly next time I overhear their conversation I will speak up, and kindly ask them to move their conversation away from the "fat lazy wls chick".
Good night my friends, and thanks for letting me vent off a little...
P.S. We r just waiting on a date.. should be getting one soon!