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still not on board

All of my paperwork requirements are (with the exception of going to a support group, which I will be doing on Thursday) and I've been cleared with all my tests. I had a visit with the dietician last week and had lost about 13 pounds. I didn't directly bring it up with my husband because he has been against this since the get go. However, he did call me when I had gotten out of my dietician's appointment and asked me where I had been. When I told him where I was he asked how much I had lost. I told him. His comment was since I had already lost that he didn't see why I couldn't just keep doing it myself. I told him when they were approximating would be and he said he would be home that week (he travels a lot for business). The thing is, I don't know if I want him to take me. I don't know if I want his negative energy there with me before I go in for surgery. I'll be nervous enough and I don't need his attitude. I'm thinking of asking one of my more supportive friends if they will take me instead.

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You could tell him like I told my wife. I dont want your support, I expect. She was negative nelly at first, once i told her that she has been super supportive since.

My husband was initially not on board because he had fears about the surgery. I took him to one of my surgeon's intro seminars, as well to an appointment or two with me.

Once he became comfortable, he became very supportive.

My husband was initially not on board because he had fears about the surgery. I took him to one of my surgeon's intro seminars, as well to an appointment or two with me.

Once he became comfortable, he became very supportive.

Betsy , hello, i was wondering if you had a choice between the lap band and realize . If so what made you chose the realize band?

Jennifer

My husband begged me not to have the surgery and was dead set against it. I lost 17 lbs before my surgery and he also said, "See, why do you have to have surgery--you're doing it on your own!" Grrrr. He did make an effort to come to a support group meeting to gain some perspective about this from other family members and spouses, and was there with me at the hospital, teary eyed begging me to tell him I wasn't doing this for him.

Sometimes, they have a hard way of telling you that they love you just the way you are and they are scared of anything happening to you. Don't worry, he'll come around! You will be such a happy person a few months from now that he will be happy because YOU are :-)!

I had a long history of losing some and gaining more - this is a tool for ME to break that cycle.

My husband wasn't supportive of the surgery because he had fears of the surgery itself. He went with me to the intro seminar and I was the smallest one there so he didn't think I needed the surgery. I was miserable at 270 lbs. I finally got approved and he has been with me ever since. Watching and cheering me on as I go through this journey. Good luck with yours and if he isn't going to be supportive I wouldn't want him to take me either.

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I did take my husband with me to a seminar. After the seminar, he pretty much cornered the poor doctor in the corner and gave him the Spanish inquisition. I went to a support group last night and I am so glad I took my son (who has been very supportive since the beginning) instead of my husband. With people talking about throwing up, vitamin deficiencies, etc my husband would have been more against it than he already is.

I pretty much don't talk to him about it unless he brings it up. Its the pink elephant in the room.

I guess when we get closer to a surgery date, I'll talk to him again about it. I'm one of those eclectically spiritual people who try to infuse positive energy into everything. If the only thing he can bring with him on the date of my surgery is negative energy, resentment, and anger I would rather have somebody take me who is lovingly supportive.

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