Hey guys,

I'm new here, but have been reading on here for a few weeks and listening to your stories and advice. This is truly a wonderful place. I had my band placed on 6/7/10, so I'm just 5 days out. I'll have to say, I feel quite alone. I opted after much thought, to not tell anyone except my husband about my surgery. This was very difficult for me because I have a very close family. Especially my mom and I. We are like best friends. I feel like I've been avoiding her like the plague all week. I've been very into Zumba for the past 6 months so I decided to tell everyone that I had sprained my ankle this week so no one would ask why I wasn't going to Zumba, plus so no one would try to get me to come to family functions for the next week or so. Its been soo hard for me to lie like this. Not really because I'm against lying so much, but because I just need to talk to someone about this. So many things in my life are changing right now and its just huge! Truth is, as close as my family are, a few of them can also be judgmental. And none of them can keep their mouths shut. So if I told one, they would all find out. And I just didn't want to hear about it.

My BMI was not that high. I had to be a self pay. I'm sure my family would say I'm not that fat. They don't see it. They don't see why I can't just lose the 60 lbs and get on with it. Truth is, for 5 years, I've tried to lose weight and instead have gained more and more each year. I didn't want to wait till I was really big and had to worry about all these extra co-morbidities. I was trying to prevent them. I already have a few. Anyway, I had the money and who knows when I might have it again in my life so I did it! I researched it for a few months and last Monday I did it. I just wish I had my mom to talk to about it. We are a family of eaters. Every event involves eating. It's why I've been avoiding everyone all week. Everyone thinks I've started this great new diet/way of life. I'm gonna try real hard to keep it that way. Any advice on how to continue this lie? Anyone else do it this way? Totally discretely and deceiving?

Julie

I only told a few people- mostly family because I knew If I told anyone else they probably will not understand. At first I wasn't going to tell anyone because I didn't want to be judged but then I figured much of my family life revolves around food and eating and If I'm not eating they will know something is "up". So far the people I have told have been supportive but it's only been a few days......

I got banded June 9th and am having very differerent emotions all during the day. Today I have been very hungry and very alone. I am still very sore in my port site so I've been off my feet all day long and taking my pain meds. Glad I came across your post lets keep each other updated!!!

Hugs,

Samantha

I had my surgery on June 9. I told only a handful of people. I realized after having the surgery why I didn't tell a bunch of people. My sister in law asked if we were going to attend a family party on Saturday and my husband told her no, that I had a hernia repaired and wasn't up to it. Which, isn't a lie, I did also have a hernia repaired at the same time. In less than a hour, my sister had posted something on my Facebook wall about me having surgery. If I wanted people to know don't you think that I would have put it out there? Thank goodness for the delete option! I don't want people asking me a bunch of questions. If someone asks how I am losing weight, I will be honest, but I am not going to advertise it. It's my business and it's private. There are too many people in this world who are judgemental and will spread your business to anyone who will listen. Especially, in the environment I work in. It's an office full of women who gossip. Good luck to everyone! Wether you tell or not, it's your decision and you know what the best decision for you is!

Take care!

Julie, I am in the same situation. I was banded on the 7th also and i only told my husband and the two girls that I have lunch with every day. They have all been told not to say a thing. I did not even tell my mom ( she came by on Thursday and noticed I was not dong well, I told her I had Hernia surgery, which is somewhat true, cause they did a hernia repair also. As soon as she got home she called my aunts and told them, hence the reason I did not tell her the truth, she can not keep secrets from my aunts which then tell my cousins and so on.....I have not been eating much for a couple months before surgery and following the rules for after surgery, so that when I go somewhere with her now she will not notice a difference. If you need someone to talk with you, I am here. We will be on the same schedule. I can say that i still have the shoulder pain and the gas pain. i will say just do what you feel comfortable with, if that is keeping it from your family than so be it...it is your decision and you have to deal with the outcome, no one else can...if you need someone to talk with I am here, I live in california, so I am 3 hours different but am home for 6 weeks so will be around at different hours.

Hi there! Great to hear from someone else who had surgery the same day as me. Your story about your mom calling and telling the aunts is exactly my situation. Soon the cousin, and uncles and second cousins would all know!! Today has been challenging. I had a baked potato (took the inside out and mushed up to pureed consistancy) for dinner. I am on pureed foods but cannot bring myself to puree anything, so it's gonna be a long 9 more days. Anyway, was so hungry all evening after dinner. Now I'm seeing that it was all those carbs. Didn't ever realize how hungry they leave you until today. I will not be doing a potato of any kind for a while. So tonight has been rough. Felt like I could eat the couch. My gas is still there too. It's better, but still there. I really should have just did what you did with the hiatal hernia repair story, as I did indeed have mine repaired too. Problem there is my whole family (all of them) have to come anytime someone has surgery. For anything. So I would have had to say I had it after the fact, which would have been weird for me and raised red flags. By the way, are you more sore in our chest you think because of the hernia repair? My pain was and is primarily there.

Julie

The nurse in the hospital had the same surgery and she told my husband that I would have shoulder pain from the repairing of the hernia and the band, just is were the pain migrates to...I still have it and I have a tear pain when I lay down, so i sleep in a recliner since I came home.

I told my mom when she seen me that I had the hernia surgery I did not let her know I was even having surgery till she seen me and than I just told her that I did not want to make a big deal about it so I did not say anything to anyone..

I do have the luxury that all my family except my mom and sister leave in Ohio with you so they can not visit me, thank god...they would be the same way I would never get any rest.

I am still on liquid so I have been able to make through the day without being hungry, I do not go to pureed food until Monday. Glad to know that potato will not be a good choice, I do love sweet potatoes though, so going to have to figure out how to handle those and not get hunger pains......My dietician said I can eat baby food during the pureed food week if I would like, I do know that some of them are good, but that is just an option.