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I'm right at 5 months, and over the past few weeks, it has become HARD. In the beginning, I was dropping weight, had zero interest in food, and was totally motivated. But since the beginning of July, I've lost a pound. Actually, I've lost and gained and lost and gained that one pound multiple times. I've started feeling hungry sometimes again, and that's triggering all sorts of bad behaviors like getting up when I'm trying to avoid work (I work from home) and looking in the cupboard for a snack, not to mention craving sweets. It's been a constant fight. Not getting that reward of watching the scale dropping all the time kind of saps the motivation, I think. And the novelty wears off and you start to realize that you're in this for the long haul and maybe you start to rebel a little. You're not alone. You say you're afraid of being judged, but you are judging yourself every time you do things you know you shouldn't do. You said it yourself. You're disgusted by what you're doing, but there's a reason you're doing it, and figuring that out is going to be the key to stopping it and changing. I feel like there is probably a voice you hear in the back of your head telling you that you can't do this. Maybe there's literally someone saying it to you in your life, but most likely it's a voice in your head from a long time ago, one that sounds like you but probably was someone else when you first heard it. For me, it's my grandmother, and to some extent my dad. Never happy, never praising. Expecting perfection and scolding "for your own good" over every little thing. Ridiculing my weight despite being overweight themselves, but also overfeeding me because that's what they knew. Food was the enemy, but also a reward from emotionally stunted caregivers who had no other way to show affection. When you can never fully meet expectations at a young age, you learn quickly that you will always fail. That may be the role you've played in your family. Maybe it's everything, or maybe just one thing, like being overweight. And when you start to succeed, it feels frightening because it challenges everything you have been taught to believe about yourself. If you're not "the fat friend", who are you? Or maybe being "the fat daughter" kept a jealous family member happy because you weren't "competition" that way. There are so many reasons we get into these patterns. But the point is, the patterns feel normal and safe. So you make sure you don't succeed and change too much or for too long. You're used to being disappointing to yourself. You can live with that. But admitting you're capable of succeeding and changing is really scary. Allowing yourself to challenge the roles other people want you to fulfill is the hardest thing you can do. At least that's my experience. As for how to change, my first suggestion is talk to your team. That's why they're there, and they know what's going on because they've seen it before. Face it head on. Nothing they say is going to be any worse than what you are saying, and doing, to yourself. If you can get set up with a therapist, even better. Second, get every source of temptation out of the house. The alcohol. The junk food. Whatever is making you stumble, get rid of it. Do your shopping online from now on, or curbside pickup because it is way easier not to give into temptation that way. You can't binge on what you don't have. But skip the gym. It's really only about 10% of your success, anyway. Focus on water, protein, and vitamins. You don't need the false guilt of the gym to make everything worse. And third, get help from people you trust who are close to you if you can. Accountability is key. If going out to eat is an issue, tell your friends or family that you need their help not letting you go out to eat. Explain why you can't be around snacks, or why you won't be ordering alcohol, and ask for their help. If you trust even one person in your life to tell what is really going on, tell them. You need another voice cheering you on instead of just your own head bringing you down. Bottom line, something about what you are doing right now feels comfortable to you. It's a pattern that you can live with, even if you hate it. Something about what you were doing when you were following the rules was making you uncomfortable. Figure out what and why. You can't change your habits until you change that voice in your head, and until you can love yourself and cheer yourself on instead of being your own worst judge. But you have to believe you're worth it and be willing to do things that scare you in order to get past this fog and get to where you want to be.

I am here to add my vote for meal planning. I also have ADHD tendencies and I LOATHE food tracking. In the early days after surgery when I absolutely had to make sure I got in my protein and water, I managed to track by keeping a physical tracking notebook next to me at all times. I had to see the book to remember to do it. I stopped tracking around 5 months when I was consistently hitting my goals. Now that I am almost a year out, my weight loss has slowed (as expected) and I am finding it too easy to make poor choices if I don't plan ahead. I forced myself to actually track for a couple days and was shocked by how many calories I could eat and what I was choosing even when I "thought" I had been pretty reasonable. So, instead of tracking, which I am still terrible at, I've started meal planning and prepping ahead. For breakfast and lunch, I came up with a selection of maybe three or four choices I liked that have around 20g protein and entered them into my meal tracking app. For example, a spinach frittata for breakfast that I can slice into several servings, fruit cups that I make ahead for the week, single-serve packets of protein oatmeal or a protein bar for those days when I have to grab and go. For lunch, I make homemade chicken veg soup and also salad jars. I also like to make a batch of turkey chili to have on hand, which I store in single-serve containers. I also came up with a few snacks I like such as Greek yogurt with blueberries, or an apple with cheese. I also entered in my typical favorite 6 or 7 homemade dinners as recipes or meals in the app so I could easily add them to my day with one click. Before my shopping day, I try to plan my meals for the coming week. If I see my calories going too high or my protein not being enough, or whatever, on any given day, I can adjust accordingly. On a day that I eat oatmeal, I make sure my other choices are less carb heavy. If I have eggs for breakfast, I might plan to have a carb at dinner. I have the tab easy to get to on my computer, but printing it out each day would also work, as would entering each meal as a reminder in your phone's task list or calendar app. It is so much easier for me to look at my menu and follow it than it is for me to decide what to eat every day in the moment. It also means that if I can eat what I plan most of the time, I can have a restaurant meal or a dessert a few times a month without worrying about it or trying to track it. And since I tend to package up most of my make-ahead meals in single-serve containers, it's pretty easy to grab something to take along if I'm going to be out and don't want to have to hunt for food on the go and risk being off plan. The worst days for me are when everything in the house is an ingredient instead of a meal. That's exhausting and inevitably leads to snacking or poor choices. I find I need to set a regular day of the week for shopping when I can also have time to prep some items right away, before the food even goes in the fridge. I have the most success for the week when all my produce enters the fridge already washed, sliced, and portioned into fruit cups and salad jars, and when I can kick off a batch of chili in the slow cooker, a frittata in the oven, and a batch of taco meat to store for later in the week all at once. Freezing complete single-serve meals is another great strategy for those busy days when you might otherwise get off track. Like any habit, it takes a while to establish and may not be 100% perfect all the time, but I definitely find this helping me.

One of my VP's at work walked by me and said if you keep losing weight your going to disappear...I just smiled and he laughed and said no really your doing great and you look great. Like I get it people want to comment on it, I have lots of weight and I have never ever ever been this size in my adult life. I think the last time I weight this was when I was 11-12 no joke. we had a new hire and I was training him, he saw pics of me when I was bigger at my desk with my family and said whoa is that you?! so its encouraging to know that new people who meet me or see me in the outside world they only see how I am now. I am battling with my own stuff, being so small now I have no boobs, my butt is 3/4 gone. I mean I workout and I look lean. I am not sure how I am feeling. This entire thing is a whole mind game lol

@Dchonlee I first went to the Bariatric clinic October 2023. I was 363 lbs. I had my gastric bypass surgery Feb 7th. I lost 79 lbs. from October to my surgery date. Since, I've lost 50 lbs. Right not I'm in a big stall, and I've actually gained a few pounds. I did find out I have an ear infection in both ears. Currently on meds to take care of it. So, i assume the gain is from that. But the stall is nearing a month long. I've lost a lot of weight since October. I know it's slowing even being only 4 months post-op. The stall is still concerning. But, in saying that. I can tell I have other changes happening. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Just keep doing what you're supposed to and you will be fine.

I was almost scared to open this this morning as I’m headed to hosptal on 25’ minutes. 😆 That is the absolute worst. I had one near what going on down there so my primary sent me to gyno. He said that wasn’t necessary but it was more comfortable knowing he looks at that All day long. Mine had to be landed and then packed with something soaked in antibiotic several times while it healed it was really bad. He said it just happens in a perfect storm of unlucky events that can bappen ti anyone. This was long before any weight loss surgery. Anyways, I hope it heals real quick and your back on to living your best life real soon.

count me as a non (traditional) gym goer as well. i do not enjoy lifting weights and never did. i really, really tried to like it but it just didn't stick. i also am not a fan of the various cardio machines (bike, row, treadmill, etc). so i gave up trying to do those activities. i did find out that i enjoy running (but for some reason only in circles, like around my block or on a track, i think its because i like to run, but not actually go far?) i also enjoy pilates and rock climbing. im completely addicted to hot yoga. also do other stuff i find interesting or fun or cool here and there but nothing on a regular basis like the activity above. like others have said, if u do something u like, you are much more likely to stick with it. if you force yourself or try to motivate yourself in any other way (to not waste money, self-flagellation or self-shame, fomo, etc) you will most likely quit and then feel disappointed or whatever and the shame-spiral continues.... not everyone is a gym person. hecks, not everyone is an exercise person. and there are lots of these people who are not (and even never have beeb) obese.

Hi everyone. I'm a bit of a complicated outlier, as my duodenal switch will be a modified duodenal switch with Demeester adjustment. I'm getting a duodenal switch for biliary diversion ( bile reflux). And I have a herniated stomach, so it will need a hernia repair. This means my stomach will not be reduced, but it will be restored in terms of hernia. And the new bile limb will only be around a 100 to a 150cm down. Enough to prevent bile from flowing into my stomach, but less malabsorption and weight loss issues. The issue is, that my stomach gas gastroptosis ( which means it is very elongated and stretched down towards my pelvis) this means it is quite painful and traumatic when vomiting occurs. I have read so many horror stories about vomiting post op or even within the first 3 to 6 months. I'm wondering, does that mainly occur due to reduction of the stomach? Or is it an unavoidable cause of the new limbs being created. I'm terrified of obstructions, ileus and other nasty complications.

So as you can see, I'm well below my goal weight. I'm not super excited about it because I'm looking really boney and too skinny. I'm normally getting 70-90g of protein per day, but I can only work out on weekends because I work all week and don't get home until 6 or 6:30 at night. I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks normally, although for the last 3 weeks I've added another snack in there. I started adding a protein shake in with my lunch because that's usually my lightest meal of the day, and I want to make sure I'm hitting my protein goals for the day. But it looks like I'm losing muscle, and I REALLY don't like that. I tried reaching out to my nutritionist and she said to add more carbs, but I'm SUPER sensitive to them, and if I eat too many, I get really sick. I can push it to about 35-40 per day, but after that, I get HELLA sick. So I've been trying to load up more on my protein and increase to 80-100g per day, but I'm STILL dropping weight and STILL looking boney and too skinny. Not only that, but I feel like I'm losing strength. I'm REALLY upset by this. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can reverse this???? I'm starting to look and feel sickly, and I don't like it at all.

You are having a head moment. You know that you are doing everything right but your head is saying WHAAAT ! TF ! Just breathe for a moment and think. There are a few things to consider and you probably know this, Its a stall, Its water retention, you are over doing things and your body says no way or you have eaten salty foods. You have gained the pounds and you need to stay away from the scales for a few days/ a week. Its a tough ask I know, I am the worst at it. Watching the scale will screw with your mind. Keep to your plan and it will work its way right.

Hey everyone! I’m reading though all the post and it’s interesting how similar and different our experiences are. Can’t thank you all enough for sharing because sometimes I feel like it’s just me lol. This is my second week of puree foods and I can now move into soft. However I can only hold 2oz of food every 3 hrs and I drink nothing but water with electrolytes in between. I’m thinking soft foods might be too heavy for me. How much is everyone having of foods? I tried 30z of scrambled eggs yesterday took me 1 hr to finish lol. I accidentally had matcha 🍵 tea the other day because I forgot it had caffeine, silly me but my stomach did just fine. Granted it was the tip of a teaspoon with some milk. So this week I’ll be slowly adding dry decafe coffee to my morning warm cup of milk here and there. Oh homemade blended and straining apple, carrots, ginger is wonderful! I have about 4oz of it a day. I do feel “full” it’s a heaviness in my chest. I’m also still feeling discomfort here and there with purée foods as they go down my esophagus . Anyone else? That mental hunger hasn’t gone away and I know it will be a while before it does but I’m such a foodie that all I want is to “taste” food on my pallet that not the same everyday. I’m not doing artificial sugars, I’ve never liked them. My new stomach still doesn’t and nor does my pallet. I’m just going to keep sugar low as I always have. Savory foods is my achilles heal lol. I think because I’m not focused heavy on extra protein in between foods I’ve not had issues with consipation. Take care of yourselves and just try one medication at a time. My stool is “lose” but not watery. I go every other day. I’ve started vitamins but very slow and they are so sweet I have to force myself to like it. They are the Berimelts. I have a vacation coming up in two weeks, which I’m excited for! Mentally preparing myself for only having 1 taste of the food my husband and I decided to get. We have the same taste and always share or split plates so I’m not too worried about deciding on what to eat. I’m nervous about restaurants pushing food on me or asking if I didn’t like something or why we are ordering for one. If anyone lives in the UK please let me know if that’s uncommon. I know in the states when I said no water with my meal post surgery they looked at me crazy. I’m bummed that I won’t be able to enjoy beer or pub food in the UK but that’s just the way it is. Hope everyone is having a good recovery! ❤️‍🩹 I will say I’m so happy to be out of the liquid phase that was the worst for me. Also I didn’t drop any weight during the liquid phase that was my stall, funny enough because they say week 3, but not for me it was week 1 and 2. Now I’m dropping weight and down 20 pounds. (Yay) they said you’ll lose about half of your ideal weight within the 6 months so I’m on a good track. I do weigh myself daily and the scale is dijital so it records everything. I highly recommend those. Take care everyone!!

Hey everyone! I’m reading though all the post and it’s interesting how similar and different our experiences are. Can’t thank you all enough for sharing because sometimes I feel like it’s just me lol. This is my second week of puree foods and I can now move into soft. However I can only hold 2oz of food every 3 hrs and I drink nothing but water with electrolytes in between. I’m thinking soft foods might be too heavy for me. How much is everyone having of foods? I tried 30z of scrambled eggs yesterday took me 1 hr to finish lol. I accidentally had matcha 🍵 tea the other day because I forgot it had caffeine, silly me but my stomach did just fine. Granted it was the tip of a teaspoon with some milk. So this week I’ll be slowly adding dry decafe coffee to my morning warm cup of milk here and there. Oh homemade blended and straining apple, carrots, ginger is wonderful! I have about 4oz of it a day. I do feel “full” it’s a heaviness in my chest. I’m also still feeling discomfort here and there with purée foods as they go down my esophagus . Anyone else? That mental hunger hasn’t gone away and I know it will be a while before it does but I’m such a foodie that all I want is to “taste” food on my pallet that not the same everyday. I’m not doing artificial sugars, I’ve never liked them. My new stomach still doesn’t and nor does my pallet. I’m just going to keep sugar low as I always have. Savory foods is my achilles heal lol. I think because I’m not focused heavy on extra protein in between foods I’ve not had issues with consipation. Take care of yourselves and just try one medication at a time. My stool is “lose” but not watery. I go every other day. I’ve started vitamins but very slow and they are so sweet I have to force myself to like it. They are the Berimelts. I have a vacation coming up in two weeks, which I’m excited for! Mentally preparing myself for only having 1 taste of the food my husband and I decided to get. We have the same taste and always share or split plates so I’m not too worried about deciding on what to eat. I’m nervous about restaurants pushing food on me or asking if I didn’t like something or why we are ordering for one. If anyone lives in the UK please let me know if that’s uncommon. I know in the states when I said no water with my meal post surgery they looked at me crazy. I’m bummed that I won’t be able to enjoy beer or pub food in the UK but that’s just the way it is. Hope everyone is having a good recovery! ❤️‍🩹 I will say I’m so happy to be out of the liquid phase that was the worst for me. Also I didn’t drop any weight during the liquid phase that was my stall, funny enough because they say week 3, but not for me it was week 1 and 2. Now I’m dropping weight and down 20 pounds. (Yay) they said you’ll lose about half of your ideal weight within the 6 months so I’m on a good track. I do weigh myself daily and the scale is dijital so it records everything. I highly recommend those. Take care everyone!!

8 weeks PO today and 14 kg down- 56 more to go- I made myself one of those goal thermometers so I can colour it in week by week- I also have a weight tracking app- but there is something nice about colouring in the thermometer.

I am going to recommend something I personally subscribe to, which is the online support groups through the Pound of Cure Weight Loss's nutrition program. It's $49 per month and you get unlimited online groups and classes, including groups run by Dr. Weiner, the bariatric surgeon, and Zoe, the registered dietician. They are both so nice and really helpful in answering questions and offering thoughtful advice. While he's not in your area (the practice is in Arizona), I know he's one of the few doctors out there who is happy to take patients who had surgeries elsewhere. If you're not already familiar with Dr. Weiner's book Pound of Cure, I can't suggest it enough. I bought it from Amazon last summer and it helped me start turning around my nutrition while I was waiting for surgery. Their podcast and video series on YouTube are also invaluable.

I heard it! I was intrigued, and honestly I think that any treatment that helps people improve their body and/or mental health is worth investigating thoroughly -- so I'd like to see how it develops. But that said, my question is, how do these studies take into account the people for which depression, eating disorders, etc all go hand in hand with being or becoming obese, low self worth, trauma, etc. Mental/emotional health and obesity / physical health & ability can easily boost each other up positively or send you into into a vicious downwards spiral when things are going bad. How many people on GLP-1s who attempted/considered suicide were already suffering from depression or suicidal ideation, etc? How many people who lost weight through GLP-1s had their mental health and self worth so intrinsically tied to their body image or the side effects of obesity that the resulting weight loss improved that aspect of their lives almost as a side-effect? Either way, the potential for improvement in both areas upon taking GLP-1s would be worth it, in my eyes, but I'm always a bit skeptical about how studies like this are framed.

In my sophomore year of college, I struggled with a particularly tough literature course. The essays were complex, and I found myself running out of time to produce quality work. A friend recommended royal essays , and I decided to give it a try. The experience was exceptional. The writers understood the nuances of the topics and delivered essays that were insightful and well-argued. Thanks to their help, I not only passed the course but also gained a deeper appreciation for the subject.

Hmmmm this is great to think about! 1. Coach my daughters or sons basketball team or any sports teams (I signed up as my daughters basketball coach for the winter, I missed the window for my son since he's in Junior High and I was too scared to do that when I was 300lbs) 2. Finish my bachelors and get a job in my field (got the B.S now need the job lol) 3. Get into fitness and health (its amazing how much my body has transformed with taking up fitness) 4. Buy a pair of REALLY expensive jeans when I am done losing weight!!! (right now I wear Old Navy, A&e on clearance but I want a pair of really nice perfectly fitted jeans, just once in my life!) I know there is lots more but this is the tip of iceberg!

One thing that helped motivate me to get started with at least 15 minutes a day was the physicians assistant said at one of my support group meetings before my surgery that just exercising 90 minutes a week which you can spread out over six days at 15 minutes each (which is 25 when you include your warm-up and cool down if it’s more than walking) But just that decreases your risk of “all-cause mortality” by 15%. The PA and surgeon agreed that no surgery, no pill, nothing else they can prescribe you is going to have such a phenomenal impact So exercise is pretty darn beneficial. I mean, I know for myself I was scared of a 2% risk of complications from the surgery that may or may not even actually kill me, but they’re giving me a 15% decrease of chances of mortality, that’s pretty huge just to dedicate less than a half hour of your day to walking around a little bit. And a brisk walk is all it takes for me to achieve the heart rate they’re speaking about because it doesn’t have to be full on high intensity, just raising it a bit. I’m not sure if it will be as profound for you but I heard that before my surgery and six weeks later it’s still ringing around in my mind as I’m exercising. I’m thinking wow you know weight loss aside, this is really a good thing that I’m doing for my health. After I got started, though I wanted to do more and more, but my goal is to do my 15 minutes, no matter what and that is my only expectation for myself at this point.

Stuff happens, sometimes randomly. I tell myself that feelings are just feelings, nothing good or bad about them. They just are. Feeling low is not your fault, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I’m glad you’re getting the emotional support! It takes great emotional strength to admit out loud that you need help with something you can’t fix (like we all did by asking for WLS). You gained experience and better health overall that no one can take away from you. Bravo!

I'm definitely nowhere near an unhealthy bmi ON PAPER, but I also know my body. I can see and feel my bones sticking out. My husband and kids hug me and they feel my bones and tell me I feel like I'm gonna break if they squeeze me because I feel fragile now. I look like I'm losing muscle, and frankly, I feel really weak compared to how I use to feel. I have permanent circles under my eyes. My hands and feet are boney and veiny and my skin literally hangs off my body, including my face. I'm always tired, even though I get plenty of sleep. I'm one of the curvy, big bones girls. I carry my weight in such a way that I can weigh more but not look like it. So right now, I look sickly. But more importantly, I don't feel right. I feel not great, which is the opposite of what I wanted when I started this journey.

@AmberFL In all your exercising have you found that your arms are firming up, if they were flabby before? Just looking for some tips as they remain a problem area for me and doing arm weights at home (mix between 1.5kg and 3kg) a few days a week for some reps doesn't seem to be making any inroads. My legs are always going to be a problem area for me because of lymphedema but that just stops me wearing shorts or a short dress leaving me still with plenty of options but having to keep my arms covered all the time (because I hate my arms) is a pain.

@Mandalynne Welcome! I'm due for surgery the day before you - It's feeling really real now. And the August surgeries have started here. Looks like you have some good prep work done! As long as you are getting your protein, you shouldn't lose very much muscle (what my Dr. told me, because I also do weight resistance) - you'll be burning fat. The headaches should go away soon, and energy will return. Mine were a bear to get over. My LSD is 3 Fairlife shakes, with one meal of broccoli and 4 oz. of chicken breast. After 10 days, I'd kill for a V8 or pudding, haha. Let us know how everything's going!

I was literally going on here with plans to say something similar. I am a little over a month out and I have been walking since the beginning of the month. I feel SO INCREDIBLE!! Physically I have so much more energy and mentally I am just in a better mood. I went to UPS to do a bunch of returns I have collected during my recovery and went to the grocery and left there thinking well I got the packages done, found my reduced fat and special Romano Cheese I wanted and made it back before it rained. That felt like a win and made me feel happy. I am just noticing little tiny things to be positive about and I haven’t done that in years. I would’ve dwelled on the fact that the one thing was going to cost almost $15 to return because they wanted tracking and insurance plus I had to buy a box. I ended up just saying I would rather give it away for that but in the past I would’ve focused on that and been in a bad mood. Not sure if that makes sense but I just feel better and more upbeat. I am not even focused on the scale as much as I was with my sleeve. I already feel better. I’m just eating what I should and exercising and the weight will come off when it comes off. With my sleeve I didn’t exercise and I watched the scale every day. This time it’s different, I FEEL healthier and I am loving it!!

Thanks lovely! I will do my best! The nurse did mention that I have lost 23.3% of my excess body weight so far, so I am definitely happy about that - I just need to do my measurements again as I haven't done that since pre-LRD!

Congratulations on your loss. It’s not nothing, every bit you lose makes you that much healthier so try not to think of it as ONLY 70 pounds. Take it from someone who thought like you did and stopped trying. I ended up gaining it all back because I was ashamed and felt like a failure. Obesity is complex. You are not a failure. You just need more help. If you haven’t already, make an appointment with your surgeon. They should have some tools to help get you back on track. If they have a live support group you may find that helpful as well as posting here.

you're forgetting that the SADI is a malabsortive surgery (so is DS. RNY has some malabsorption, but not as much as the other two). That's what makes it so powerful. You won't absorb all the calories you eat. This doesn't mean you can eat with abandon, BUT...a percentage of the calories you eat won't be absorbed. So I guess I wouldn't worry too much that they won't be doing anything to your stomach. A lot of the action is going to be in your small intestine. As long as you stick to your plan, you should lose weight.