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I was wondering , if I am the only one here who got wls done at a young age .Im 19 and almost 7 months ago I got a gastric plications done. So far I have lost 42kg ( my biggest weight was 127kg, and now im 86kg) If there are people here my age , how do you deal with various situations infront of your friend,relatives,co workers. Cause i feel like my friends dont want to hang with me anymore bc I dont eat junk food or (as I say) I am on a strickt diet. Sent from my SM-J730F using BariatricPal mobile app

I was 33 when I had my surgery but still had some issues with friends, my best friend in particular. After having surgery and starting to lose weight she pulled back from me. At this point I'm a year out of surgery and I haven't seen her since October and only spoken to her a handful of times since then. I don't know if it's a jealousy issue as she is still battling her weight or something else going on but I've realized I have to do what's best for me and my health and if others cant get on board then I don't have a place for them in my circle.

I’m a runner. I’ve been a runner since I was a teenager. I’ve run five or more miles three times a week for the past four years and rarely take a day off. Many of my runs have been over ten miles. I’m the crazy guy you’ve seen running in the rain and the snow on the side of the road at 7 AM. I’ve learned a lot from running and many of those lessons I have applied to life in general. I’ve shared much of what I’ve learned about running with many of my patients because I believe that there are a number of parallels between long-distance running and the journey through weight loss. Many of my patients agree. I’d like to share some of these parallels with you to provide you with a helpful way to think about all that you’ve gone through and may still experience going forward. I should make an admission to you first. I’ve never actually run a marathon. It’s something I very much want to do someday but have yet to attempt because of some nagging injuries and such. However, I know enough about long-distance running and have spoken to enough marathon runners to understand the psyche of the marathon runner. Therefore, I feel comfortable speaking of it here. Consider the entire journey of weight loss surgery from before surgery to years afterwards as a marathon. For those of you who are unfamiliar, a marathon is a race of 26.2 miles. The modern Marathon commemorates the run of the soldier Pheidippides from a battlefield at the site of the town of Marathon, Greece, 26.2 miles to Athens in 490 B.C. It is seen by many as the ultimate test of endurance (although there are now ultra-marathons that can go for 100 miles or more!). There are many things one must do to prepare for the running of a marathon. A marathoner has to complete several practice runs and work up his stamina and endurance to get into peak physical condition for the race. A marathoner is encouraged to make dietary changes, especially in the few days before the race. A marathoner has to mentally prepare for the grueling 26.2 run and plot out the course and a strategy of how he is going to make it from start to finish. The process of weight loss surgery is quite similar. There are many steps to take before your big day. There is research to do. Perhaps you will talk to doctors or to those who have had surgery to better understand what you will be experiencing. When you decide that surgery is for you, there are pre-surgical assessments, medical tests and other things that must be done to ensure that you are prepared for what lies ahead. You are instructed to make dietary changes in anticipation of your surgery…perhaps a liquid diet for a week or more. And certainly you must mentally prepare for all of the physical, behavioral and emotional changes that lie ahead. For the most part, your surgery date is the starting line. You’re nervous. You’re excited. You’re hopeful. Similarly, the marathoner heart is pounding long before the starting gun is fired. The gun is fired and suddenly…they’re off! The first few days after surgery, you’re just trying to do as told. Listen to what the surgeon, the nurses and other professionals’ tell you and get home from the hospital as soon as you can. The marathoner is just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to find a good pace…a comfortable groove. Nothing fancy, just moving ahead. The first few weeks after surgery are like the marathoners first few miles…nice and easy. Learning to chew, learning what to eat and what not to eat…adjusting to the new pace of eating and making other changes in your life to improve your chances of success. Much of the journey lies ahead and thinking too far ahead can be daunting. Keep your head in the present. At some point, there will be bumps in the road. The runner may have a side-stitch, a cramp, pain, fatigue, a pebble in his shoes; some complications to be addressed. The marathoner understands that some of these discomforts will come and go. Sometimes, if you just let it be and shift your focus to other aspects of the running experience and away from the discomfort…the discomfort goes away. It is important that the marathoner not panic about the situation. The journey through weight loss surgery will also have its discomforts. Like the marathon, many will simply come and go. Some days may be more difficult than others. On some days eating may be more difficult than other days. On some days, cravings will seem stronger than others. In most instances, the discomfort will be temporary. Avoiding “catastrophic” thinking is the key. I am speaking of the mental demons that we all must deal with. Often while running, it seems as if a little devil appears on my shoulder whispering negative comments in my ear. “You’re never going to make it.” “You can’t do it.” “What were you thinking trying to run so far!?” “You’re not into it today…just go home and try again tomorrow.” Weight loss surgery patients also hear the voice of a little devil who attempts to derail you. “How am I going to avoid eating some of those foods that I love?” “What am I going to do at the holiday barbeque…I’m going to go nuts!” “I can buy a pint of ice cream and just have a little…what’s the big deal.” “A few cookies couldn’t hurt.” Part of your preparation for the marathon of weight loss surgery needs to include maintaining a positive attitude that can help you last the equivalent of 26.2 miles and to develop strategies for coping with these mental “cramps” and “side-stitches.” What am I going to tell myself when and if things get a bit complicated? What you tell yourself is immensely important in determining how and whether you will reach the finish line. Believing that you can cope with some of the temporary and unpleasant bumps in the road is essential for your success. Many of my patients initially get quite deflated by setbacks or slips. Most times, they are engaging in what I call “black and white thinking.” In this way of thinking, eating one serving of ice cream immediately becomes “I’m sabotaging my surgery!!” One day of feeling deprived or hungry becomes “My band isn’t working!” or “I’m never going to be able to live this way!” It is dramatic, exaggerated and self-defeating thinking. The marathoner’s mindset needs to be focused on “how I can” not “why I can’t.” There is nothing propelling the marathoner forward other than his or her own desire to persevere. He can stop with one step, but CHOOSES not to. He tolerates the discomfort. You also can stop. You can “cheat.” You can avoid getting your band adjusted. You can eat around the bypass. You can drink your calories. You can eat sweets. But you won’t finish the race and you’ll feel terrible for it. Several miles further down the road, the marathon becomes a strange combination of harder and easier. The marathoner has plenty of discomfort. Discomfort is probably an understatement. His body aches, his feet burn and his mind is often numb…but at the same time, he is beginning to almost taste the finish line. There are fewer miles ahead than behind. There is a mild euphoria as he considers that he might actually make it!! The surgery patient has lost a lot of weight several “miles” into her race. Perhaps most of the weight has already been lost…or maybe it’s already all off and now she’s focused on keeping it that way. But perhaps there are still some discomforts. Maybe some people continue to make annoying comments, or you have some body image concerns, or are experiencing other sources of anxiety and insecurity. It will be ok. Keep the focus on the here and now, avoid catastrophic thinking, and address what needs to be addressed. Try to taste the finish line. It’s not much farther now. This is where the analogy ends. The marathoner raises his arms as he crosses the finishing line and gasps in a combination of exhaustion and euphoria….I did it!! It is an incredible accomplishment. He is finished. But as a person who has had weight loss surgery, you will always be running your race. Through time, your pace will hopefully become more predictable and steady, but the journey of weight loss surgery never truly ends. There are always “side-stitches” and “cramps” and little “pebbles in your shoes.” Rub out the cramps. Take a few breaths to relieve the side-stitches. Step off the track for a moment and shake out the pebbles in your shoe. Focus away from whatever the source of discomfort. There’s no timer anymore so there’s no rush to the finish line. Take each day as it comes, some better than others. Just keep a steady pace, a clear focus, and a positive attitude and you will successfully cross a thousand finish lines. Important lessons to remember: · Stay focused in the present. Avoid thinking of how far you still have to go. Instead, focus on how far you’ve come. You cannot effect change in any moment other than the present one, so thinking about and certainly worrying about the future is in many ways both pointless and counterproductive. It only creates anxiety and ruins the present moment. By focusing in the present, you will get to the future faster than you think. When I run, if I focus on the fact that 90% of the distance lies ahead, I immediately feel tired and overwhelmed. When I simply take it one step at a time and enjoy the run, by the time I next think about my distance I’m that much further along and confident that I’ll get through it. · Keep your “qi” (pronounced “chee”) about you. Qi is the circulating life energy that in Chinese philosophy is thought to be inherent and flowing in all things (it’s like “the force” in Star Wars). I think of qi as being a peacefulness, and being at one with the world around me. When I run, I feel more alive than at any other time. I am at one with the world around me. I am moving through the world and feel the world moving through me. Live in the current moment and allow yourself to experience all that you are experiencing. Be present in the present. Avoid thinking of what is wrong or what could go wrong. Instead focus on what is wonderful right now. · Most of the physical and emotional discomforts that you will experience on your journey will come and go. Maybe not right away or even today. But most discomforts do not last forever. Just as many of the runner’s side-stitches and cramps work themselves through, so will yours. · Avoid focusing on small and meaningless detail. Don’t weigh yourself incessantly and get down on yourself for every calorie. Do not become overly disappointed if you do not achieve these silly and arbitrary goals. The marathoner can choose to obsess about his slightly slow pace and tragically turn a remarkable event into an unbearable trek. · Believe that you can “stand” some discomfort. Telling yourself “I can’t stand it” will lead you to not stand it. The marathoner perseveres through extraordinary physical and psychological challenges to reach the finish line. It is not an easy path. Your path too will be littered with obstacles. Trust in yourself and believe that you “can stand it” as well. · Focus on the journey and the big picture. The transformation. The accomplishment of weight loss surgery is not in losing a certain amount of weight. It is about being able to make positive, meaningful change in your life that is now possible at this lower weight. Success isn’t achieved through a number on a scale; it’s by being able to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. · Enjoy the run, not just crossing the finish line. In every moment of the race and in every moment of your journey…take a look around. Breathe in what is beautiful and enjoy each moment. Don’t live your life only in anticipation of crossing the finish line. When you have reached the finish line, I promise you that you will look back and think very fondly of the race you’ve run. :thumbup:

Zumba wow 3 weeks out. My dr wants me to just walk walk slowly. Sigh. I'm ready to fet back to the gym w weights and elliptical. Sent from my 5054N using the BariatricPal App

It makes sense, but it doesn't work that way, actually. You need to consume a certain amount of calories for your body to produce enough energy to burn fat. Also if your calorie intake is too low it will put your body into starvation mode, which will make it preserve fat. So I know it sounds kinda messed up, but consuming more calories (or more accurately, the correct range of calories) will make you lose MORE weight.

It could just be your body replenishing glycogen stores in your muscles. It takes 4 oz of water for each 1 oz of glycogen stored. Or it could be like in my case (this has happened twice in 8 weeks), a REALLY BIG poo. Seriously, I lost almost 2 lbs after going each time. So keep in mind how often your going to the bathroom, that could be the extra weight.

Just keep getting in your protein and you liquids, move your body and stick to your fat/calories/carbs as outlined by your doctor. The weight WILL come off. I stalled for 30 days and it was frustrating, but I was losing inches even though the scale wasn't moving. If you stick to plan, you will lose.

When did you reach your first weight loss stall? How did you break through it? How long was it? Any tips for avoiding plateaus? I'm 8 days post op

I'm surprised! I was allowed only chicken broth and sf jello for week one. I could include smooth yogurt (no fruit bits) and cottage cheese in week two. That was all, till week 3 anyway! I am 6 years out. I've lost 190 lbs., most all of it within first 21/2 years. My ideal is 10 lbs less than I am now, but I have kept off the weight and that 10lbs just keeps me on my toes!

Hi Everybody! It has been 2 months since my plication surgery and I am feeling somewhat frustrated. I am physically feeling great and have more energy but find I am not losing weight as fast as I want to. I am now eating smaller meals but more of them spread out over time so my stomach is not too full. I am still a stress eater. I have gone down a size in scrub pants and tops. I am getting compliments that I look thinner in my face and stomach. I have given up diet soda. I am drinking Water, green tea and lemonade. I am staying low carb. I am not exercising as much as I would like but I did start walking again. I will start weight training as soon as my incisions heal all the way. Unfortunately my job as an RT has me bending, stretching and pulling too much for the incisions to heal faster. I have come to realize that my plication surgery is not a magic silver bullet where weight loss just magically occurs. Plication surgery is a tool. It is still up to me to eat less, exercise more and make healthier choices. It is up to me to analyze and correct what made me heavy in the first place. I can blame genes, circumstances and the environment but in the end I need to look at me. I need to take responsibility for my weight, make corrective actions and change my thinking. (Gee...why didn't I think of this before!!! I could have saved thousands of dollars and been much happier!!! I blame global warming.) Okay...okay...I will get off my soapbox. I am essentially writing this for me so that it serves as a reminder and motivator. I am still extremely happy I got the surgery done. I just need to do my part better! Take care everyone! Steve

Hello All So I am on a weight loss plateau and have been for like 3 months. I had my sleeve last September and I am at 10 months out right now. I can only drink about 32 oz of Water and then my Protein shake 11 oz Ill have a Gatorade G2, diet Snapple also or a V8 they say that all counts as fluids. I eat chicken and veggies, Salmon and veggies, turkey and lean burgers. I can eat 1/2 cup depending on the food maybe a little more or less depending. I always eat my protein 1st. I have ate sweets and carbs but not everyday or a lot at all.. If I crave it I'll have a little to curve it I don't go over board. They say by 1yr I should be eating 1cup but in 2 month it will be my year and I am still at 1/2. other foods I eat, refried Beans with cheese sour cream, cheese sticks etc, I cook with olive oil, I eat during the week at 5am, 8am, 12pm, 3pm, and 6pm( not all the time only if I am really hungry), weekends I am not as good with times.. I wake up later and also stay up later. I exercise 2 times a week. I was 240 last February Day of surgery I was 221 I am now 152 my goal is 135 I also was wondering that maybe the extra skin I have( not a lot but enough) may be 10lbs? if so then I would be 142 so that would make me close to my goal. with that said maybe that's why I have been stuck at this weight. Please not negative comments Thanks a lot

I was never really told to measure my food and generally have always eaten a bit more than a cup per meal. I just take a small bread plate and put small portion of meat, veggie and starch and eat in that order until I am satisfied. In the beginning it took a little trial and error but eventually I got to the point where I knew how much I can handle today. In my program, we gauged portions by the scale and being satisfied. You make sure you get all your nutrition, serve it up in small portions, chew well/eat slowly and stop when you are full. If the scale does not show results then you get an adjustment. 3 oz of meat is the size of a deck of cards or a bar of soap. I may have eaten that much meat some days during my weight loss but usually not quite. I probably eat about 1/2 cup of fruit and/or veggies and 1/4-1/2 cup of starch.

Hello friends. Would/could someone please explain how people regain 50+ pounds? This is a genuine question. Not a judgement at all. Does your pouch expand? Are you no longer full? Are re-gainers simply eating thru the pain?? I'm terrified of gaining the weight back! THANK YOU Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I am a week post-op and am losing weight very quickly. Anybody else? The morning of my surgery, I was 317. Four days later when I was discharged, I was 324... still shaking my head about that one. I am down to 305 now. (312 on Saturday, 308 on Sunday). Never thought I'd complain about losing weight. lol

@@MarissaSalvador some/many newbies are afraid they are not losing enough weight immediately after surgery some people like you, might be afraid they are losing too much weight there is no correct/normal answer we are all different and losing different amount of weights in different time periods never, never, ever compare yourself to others people have been shot for less!! you are not losing too much or too fast you are doing fine REALLY keep up the good work kathy

Did your nutritionist give you a time to not eat past? Just curious to see how everyone's rules compare. Has anyone found that eating before bed slows your weight loss or doesn't effect it at all?

I am a new sleever. But, I have lost and gained many pounds. So, I understand the frustration. However, you are doing a great thing. Keep trying! Do not give up on the process. This is a chance to not only to reach you goals but maitain your weight loss. Good luck to you. You are not alone!

HA! I was going to say you won't see to many people here that did it without exercise! Listen in the early stages you will drop weight, but at some point exercise will become necessary not only for weight loss but to help tone up too. Walking is something that most of us can do. If you don't want to do it in public buy a used treadmill off of Craigslist.

Hi there - so sorry you're feeling sad. I had a similar experience - I had the band and lost about 70 pounds, then had a slip and constant reflux at night that wasn't relieved until I had the band totally unfilled. And I gained back all the weight plus an extra few before getting sleeved in June. I haven't felt sadness, but I have definitely felt a ton of anxiety about failing again. It gets better each week though, as I see continued weight loss and get more experience with eating. For me I feel so scared that one day I'll just be able to eat a huge amount again and feel a compulsion to actually do it. But each day that my hunger stays under control and I feel satisfied with a small meal I feel more confident that this time will work. Stay focused on the positive - at this stage you need your strength to heal. I know how much it sucks to have a setback, but you're back on the right track and things will get better from here.

I have a CPAP I got at the beginning of the year, set at a fairly high pressure of 15. My sleep dude said I may never be able to not use it (something about narrow airways) because he can't be sure if the weight loss will change that or not. That said, its something I'll be keeping an eye on. I am hoping at the very least to reduce pressure in 50 pounds or so. That said, I wish I had had the CPAP machine before, being able to sleep through the night has been one of the most amazing things ever. Good luck.

Thanks for your comments. It looks like I am a little ahead of you and I am just getting a little frustrated with feeling terrible after eating, the slime thing, and then throwing up, etc... After reading many comments here it looks like everyone has different experiences and challenges to deal with and work through. Looks like the timing for various things are also different for everyone. The weight loss for me has been unreal, but seems like a starvation thing at this point as well. Try to eat something and then get sick - repeat.... In three months many great changes have already happened and I needed to do this for sure, so no regrets, yet. My goal is to loose half my body weight but I do not want to do that in 6 months! I just hope this is a phase that will end soon, cause this sucks for sure.

My Doc is really conservative. My post-op paperwork says 5 lbs the first week and increase at 5 pound increments each week. My problem is.... I'm traveling to Mexico, and I have to pack. I'm going alone, so I'll have to manage my own luggage. My plan is to take a light weight tote, and only bring the bare necessities. Normally, if I was going away for 5 days, I'd have 10 changes of clothes, at least 5 pairs of shoes and purses to match, LOL. My plan is a loose long dress to fly home in, a small pillow and airline blanket in case I get cold on the plane (the Airlines no longer provide those), enough changes of panties, a nightgown, the bare minimum of toiletries (I won't be wearing make up), some broth packets and Mio drops for the last night, a book to read, and a journal. Of course, my I-phone and charger. I'm not bringing my lap top with me since that alone weighs at least 5 lbs. I've already spoken to my "sleeve Sister" and I'm sure we'll have enough to talk about to keep ourselves entertained. Am I missing anything???

Perhaps no topic in the area of weight loss and weight loss surgery receives as much attention as “emotional eating.” Hundreds of articles and books are written on this topic every year appearing in magazines, newspapers, websites and other media sources. But what exactly is emotional eating and why does it receive so much attention? Emotional Eating Defined The term “emotional eating” is in many respects a “garbage-pail term” that is often used to refer to any form of eating that is not purely hunger-based. Most discussions on emotional eating also explain it as a behavior that one should make every effort to minimize, if not terminate completely. However, the irony is that everyone is an emotional eater to some degree and life would be quite joyless if all forms of emotional eating were to be eliminated. Fortunately, this is not necessary. Most folks seem to make a distinction between two types of emotional eating: eating in response to positive emotions and eating in response to negative emotions. Positive emotions are desirable or pleasant such as happiness. This form of emotional eating often relates to celebrations or accomplishments. In this way, holiday meals are a form of positive emotional eating as is going out to dinner to Celebrate a promotion at work. Negative emotions are unpleasant and are generally seen as undesirable. Eating in response to negative emotions is often a way of attempting to provide oneself with comfort. Eating when you are depressed or lonely or nervous are examples of eating in response to negative emotions. In general, eating in response to negative emotions is the type of emotional eating most folks view as being more problematic as the former seems to be almost an inherent part of every culture on the face of the earth. As an example, one of my former patients, a rabbi, jokingly describes the three characteristics of a Jewish holiday as: “they tried to wipe us out, God saved us, let’s eat!” I’m not suggesting that there is no benefit in addressing eating in response to positive emotions; however this is not the focus of the current discussion. So let’s focus on eating in response to negative emotions and to simplify our discussion, simply refer to this as “emotional eating.” One interesting aspect about folks who describe themselves as “emotional eaters” is that in my experience the behavior is often described as being non-conscious or out of their awareness. I refer this state as being on “autopilot,” similar to a plane that is flying itself without a pilot making active decisions as to where the plane should be going. Here’s why. Very rarely do patients describe incidents when they would feel an unpleasant emotion and then consciously decide to immediately march to the refrigerator or corner Quick-mart for a snack. Emotional eating is far more subtle than that. Much more common is that the person recalls a situation when they were surveying the contents of their cabinets or refrigerator and doesn’t even know why they’re there. Some folks go so far as to recall times when they were halfway through eating a bag of corn chips and they don’t even recall eating the first half. They were on autopilot. How does this happen and what can you do to stop it? The Evolution of Eating on Autopilot Consider that eating is almost an automated behavior in that you can do it without paying attention. Walking is much the same way. Initially, when you first learn to eat or walk as an infant, you need to pay attention to learn the skill. Watch any infant taking her first few steps and you will see the focus and determination she has to stay upright and not to fall. She’s really concentrating on what she’s doing. Similarly, when feeding babies with solid food for the first time, we cut up the food very small and feed the baby very small bites because we recognize that eating solid food is a skill that babies do not yet have. We make the decisions on food types and sizes at this stage because we don’t want them to choke. However, in very little time, both eating and walking become activities humans can do with almost no effort. Think about this for a moment. Now, as an adult, when you walk, do you actually think about which leg to move next or do you just seem to go? You can walk a mile without once thinking about your legs or feet for even one second. There’s no thought at all…you’re on autopilot. When you eat it’s the same story. Most adults don’t think about chewing. They can hold a conversation with five people and wipe out an entire plate of food without ever paying attention to their chewing at all. If you’ve had weight loss surgery, you know just how powerful this “eating autopilot” can be because you’ve had to relearn a lifetime of eating behavior that no longer works. After surgery, you had to learn to pay attention and chew more, eat slower, avoid drinking while you eat, etc. These behavior changes probably took awhile to master. In fact, many of my patients who’ve had gastric banding, for example, commented that relearning how to eat was the most difficult part following their surgery. Now let’s turn back to emotional eating. Many of you can recall experiences from childhood where food was given to you as a reward for good behavior or withheld from you for unwanted behavior. Similarly, you may have been offered food to make you feel better when you were disappointed, sad or experiencing some other unpleasant emotion. Almost immediately food and eating was linked to emotions. My grandmother was convinced that chicken Soup could cure anything! And you know what…she was right! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that you do feel a bit better while you eat chocolate or nacho chips or whatever your favorite food is. Even folks that didn’t have food thrust upon them to help them cope with negative emotions as children can often recall picking it up themselves later as adults. It seems very easy for humans to learn to eat as a means of coping with emotional upset. Let’s face it…for most of us, eating feels good. Whether it’s the taste or the emotional associations we make with certain foods (comfort foods) or certain people (grandma) or purely a neurochemical affect (serotonin, etc) eating feels good. Unfortunately, what you also probably know is that if you are eating ice cream at night because you are feeling lonely and sad, while you might feel a little sense of pleasure from the ice cream, it does nothing to address the loneliness and sadness and it does wreak havoc on your waistline. Even though it doesn’t really help us cope with emotional upset in the long run, we keep on doing it because it feels good immediately and the consequences of emotional eating are generally delayed, if only by a few minutes. What happened is that over a period of many years, you “learned,” that food has, or is believed to have, the ability to minimize or eliminate your emotional distress. Now, when those feelings arise, you feel compelled to eat as if you’re automatically programmed to do so without even being aware. You’re now running on autopilot. When asked to describe the feelings they have just before eating, many of my patients describe feeling bored or calling it “blaaaaah” referring to some vague, negative emotional state. So if you’re an emotional eater as I’ve described, and you’ve put on a lot of weight as a result, you are not stupid, you are not lazy, you are not pathetic…you are human. Most important for you to understand, you are most certainly not helpless. You need to fix your hard drive and get you out of autopilot by unlearning some ingrained, overlearned maladaptive behaviors in favor of some new more adaptive ones. Shifting out of Autopilot “Recognizing that you have a problem is half the battle!” No it isn’t. That sounds good when people say it but if it were true then being aware that you were 100 pounds overweight would immediately result in a 50 pound weight loss! Not so simple. What this expression means is that if you don’t become aware that you have a problem you can’t possibly do anything to remedy the problem. You must first be aware that this pattern exists in order for you to change it. There is a simple process that you can follow to help make changes in your behavior: Stop→Breathe→Reflect→Choose→Evaluate Let’s go through this one step at a time: 1. Stop! When you’re about to put food in your mouth, stop what you’re doing. It may sound easy but this is clearly the most difficult step. It’s hard to stop engaging in a behavior that you can do without a single thought. Eating is a mindless behavior. As I said earlier, you don’t have to think in order to eat any more than you have to think in order to walk. Hence the autopilot problem. The trick is to develop an improved awareness of your behavior. How can you learn to be more aware? One of my favorite techniques is to put written reminders all over the place. Putting them where you eat is a good idea but other places are great as well. You’re trying to bake this awareness into your brain and knock your brain out of autopilot. Stick those colorful sticky square notes on your bathroom mirror to remind you first thing in the morning to change how you eat. They can say “Be aware of your eating” or even just “STOP!” You’ll remember what it means. Put another note on your rearview mirror in your car. Put another one on your computer screen. Put another one on your refrigerator. Sounds a bit nutty, but if you are truly committed to change you need to remind yourself to do it, otherwise autopilot will rule the day! Just like a computer that has default, automatic settings, so does your brain. Unfortunately, for many of us eating has become the default setting, so without the reminder NOT to eat, eating occurs almost automatically. Another recommendation is that you write down what you eat by keeping a food diary. I know, you’re sighing because you’ve heard this before and you hate this. However, the truth is that when you get into the habit of writing down what you eat, it definitely affects what you choose to put in your mouth. This is why you probably hate writing it down…because it works! After a few weeks of monitoring what you eat your eating habits will change. You will become more “mindful” of the entire practice of eating and will therefore be in a much greater position to change your behavior and CHOOSE to eat differently. Another idea is to put a message of some kind reminding you to eat differently in your schedule book or on your screen saver or on your PDA devise or anywhere that you look numerous times per day. On many occasions, I have written a phrase such as “focus on food” in my schedule book because I look at this book at least 25 times per day. With all of these tactics, and I encourage you to think of your own, the effort is to force your brain to focus on what is going on at this very moment rather than reverting back to old habits we are calling autopilot. 2. Breathe. The idea here is to create a natural pause and to gather yourself and your thoughts. Take a minute and stop what you’re doing and be mindful that you are about to make a change. Breathing helps us relax and makes it easier to focus on your thoughts and block out the world around you. When you find yourself holding open the doors of your cabinet searching for a snack…STOP! and then take a few breaths to gather your thoughts so that you can better decide what you really want to do. The breathing and the few second pause give you a space to slow the wheels down and make small but meaningful changes in your behavior. 3. Reflect. Reflect is a nice way of saying “think.” Now that you’ve stopped and taken a few breaths, think about what you’re about to do. You’re about to eat. Ask yourself a few questions and write them down because they’re going to be the same questions every time and it would be helpful for you to become familiar with the answers: · Am I really hungry? · Do I really want to eat this? · Why am I choosing to eat at this particular moment…what’s going on? · What is the purpose of my eating? · Will eating help my problem beyond making me feel good for 37 seconds? · If I do eat, how am I going to feel after those first 37 seconds? · What is the real issue that I’m using food to try and medicate away? · What is (are) the particular emotion that I’m feeling? · What else can I do other than eat that actually may address the real problem? This step is very important because it can help you understand the reason(s) that you are eating. As we said, eating is your autopilot or your default behavior. If you can learn to stop and think about what’s going on, there will be times that you recognize that your decision to eat was not random. At other times it will be simply because you were truly in the mood for a chocolate bar…and that’s ok from time to time. 4. Choose. The last bullet point above asks “What else can I do other than eat that actually may address the real problem.” This is the key to the whole process. This involves choosing alternative behaviors rather than eating that actually addresses the emotional distress that is leading you to eat. This is where actual change occurs. By choosing an alternative behavior you are actively shifting out of autopilot and proving to yourself that you are capable of making change and that you are not a drone who must obey the urge to eat. I strongly recommend that one of your alternative behaviors be contemplation and journaling. It’s great to develop alternatives to eating, but even better to gain a more thorough understanding of WHY you feel the need to do anything at all. One could make the argument that simply choosing an alternative to eating without becoming aware of why you need to do anything at all is just running away from your discomfort. For example, exercising instead of eating might be good for your health, but it doesn’t go any further in terms of helping you understand what’s causing your emotional upset and how to address it. I’m not suggesting that you need to make yourself miserable, but it is important that you learn what is creating your discomfort. It is also essential to learn that you can tolerate emotional discomfort which I discussed in my previous article on willpower. Seeking professional help or group support is definitely worth consideration if you are struggling on your own. Whatever new strategies you employ, you must practice your strategies every day. Your emotional eating autopilot evolved over a series of years and is quite ingrained. New strategies are going to take a while to take hold and become second nature. Keep the log of your eating long after you think it’s necessary. Keep the sticky square notes around for awhile. It’s important to know that you are going to have setbacks when you resort to emotional eating. Every battle will not be a victory. When these setbacks occur, don’t “catastrophize.” As I said in a previous article, it’s important that you not categorize everything into good or bad, pass or fail. Stop being critical and demeaning of your shortcomings and missteps. If you have a bad day at the Chinese buffet, it’s just one high-calorie meal. It doesn’t mean a thing…unless you tell yourself it does. If you tell yourself it’s a bad day, it becomes a bad day. Tell yourself that your Chinese meal ruined the weekend and you’ve ruined the weekend. Suddenly you’re telling yourself that Friday is a wash and that you might as well give yourself the weekend to have some fun promising that you’ll get back on track on Monday, only Monday never comes. How you think is everything. 5. Evaluate. Did your choice of strategy help? Were you able to close the cabinet and go back to the couch without a snack? Were you able to diminish your emotional upset some other way with some effectiveness? These are the questions you need to ask to implement the new changes. It is very unlikely that you’ll find one strategy that works all the time. Calling a friend might help some times, while taking a walk might help at others. Keep track of which strategies are helpful and under which circumstances so you can develop a whole toolbox of ways to combat emotional eating and better take care of yourself. Going Forward Most of the people that I have known who seem to have won the battle with emotional eating will admit that they’re still fighting the fight even years later. Although their new habits are strong and the old pattern of emotional eating seems to be gone, they still show up from time to time. I think about all of the people who told me how well they were doing on their diets and on their eating behavior change plans prior to 9/11/01 who recalled the whole thing seeming to unwind overnight in the face of such an incredibly stressful event. So many people tell me their goal is to be cured from the pull of emotional eating. They want the urges to eat in response to these negative feelings to stop occurring in the first place. While this is an understandable goal, it is not necessary one. If you really do your homework and learn new behaviors, learn to tolerate some discomfort and hopefully get at some of the other issues affecting your eating, through time, your new habits will become stronger and stronger and it will become far easier to resist the urge to eat. Even if the day when you no longer even consider eating never comes, it won't need to. You'll be able to handle it. Best Wishes!

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I gained 12 pounds in the hospital too. My surgery was just on Wednesday so I'm sure I'm not even back to my presurgery weight. I know it's just fluid so I don't have to feel guilty about it but it will make the overall numbers less. In the hospital and at home I have no trouble getting in the necessary amount of fluid because I'm so thirsty, still just small sips though. I wasn't on a diuretic before surgery but I did have a lot of trouble emptying my bladder.