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There's no actual pouch reset, you're correct about that. It's more getting your mind right again. You have to get back to basics, not to retrain your pouch but to retrain yourself how to eat (and not eat) again. A week of stage 1, a week of stage 2, etc is a great way to start over. It's gonna be really rough, not gonna lie, but start tracking everything that goes into your mouth. Everything you eat and drink. how much, how often. Start tracking your calories, carbs, fats, and proteins. Prioritize protein first, then veggies, then healthy fats. Follow the eating and drinking rules. Reach back out to your surgeon's office and your nutritionist, if you can. You still have your tool, you just have to hold yourself accountable and start using it properly again.

You say above that "granted, they are right." Respectfully, your friends and family are 100% wrong and don't have a clue what they're talking about. Obesity is not caused by a simple lack of willpower. If it were as simple as eating right and getting some exercise, none of us would be here right now. You didn't supply your height and weight details, but based on the list of ailments you've mentioned, I'm guessing you have a significant amount of weight to lose, like well over 100 pounds. It's very hard to lose more than a small percentage of your body weight and keep it off. About 95% of people who lose weight through calorie restriction and going to the gym regain the weight. Not because of a lack of willpower, but because there are complex systems in our bodies that work hard to keep us at a weight our bodies have decided is right for us. Unfortunately, in those of us with obesity, that desirable weight has been set much too high. Fighting against that is extremely difficult. That's not to say that surgery will fix your issues with food. It won't. You will still have to do all the work on your mental and physical health to lose the weight and keep it off. You will have to eat right. And exercise. And work on your food addiction by modifying your behavior, hopefully with the help of a professional therapist. You'll need to track your food intake for months if not for life, and there will probably be foods that you will never be able to eat again, either because they make you ill or because they trigger bad behaviors that you need to avoid. You'll have to learn a whole new way of cooking and eating. You'll have to be careful of transfer addictions. Sometimes you will feel left out when everyone else can eat things and you can't. You'll have to defend your choices to people who have no idea what they're talking about and no filter on their opinions. Surgery is frickin' difficult. But, it's effective. It changes your hormonal balance to make your body want to be at a healthier weight. If you follow the rules, you will lose weight and keep it off. Your physical health will improve. Your body will feel better. But you do have to follow the rules, and the rules are challenging. You have to be ready for it, and even when you think you're ready, it's common to make mistakes and to struggle sometimes. You'll need a support system and the confidence that you've made the right choice for the long term even when it sucks in the present moment. If you decide surgery is right for you, you will need to believe in yourself enough to look your family and friends in the eyes and invite them to either support your decision and help you, or else they can feel free to shove their negativity into the orifice of their choosing. This is your life, your body, and it's your right to decide what you need to live the best way you possibly can. No one else has to wake up with the pain you feel in your joints, hip, and back. No one else has to struggle through the day and have their options limited because of their size and health. No one else has a say in what you do to improve your situation. But I will tell you this. There are probably some people in your life who will not think this is true. They will not appreciate you stepping out of your role as the obedient one and standing up for yourself and not doing what they want you to do. They will feel threatened. They will not like it when you lose weight, and they will say mean and nasty things about how you cheated and took the easy way, because if you succeed at this, they will feel like it takes something away from them. They are the ones with the problem, not you. They may try to sabotage your efforts and make you feel bad about yourself. Again, they are the ones who are wrong. But that doesn't make it easier in the moment. So make sure you have people to talk to who support you. I wish you the best of luck. You're young and you deserve to have an awesome and long life full of good health and happiness. Don't let anyone else take away your chance at that. Finally, here is a video that I highly recommend to help with your decision:

I grieve the convenience of high fat/sugar/calorie foods. The ability to go anywhere with friends or family for a meal and not have to worry about 'will I be able to find something I can eat?' and cruising the menu online first. I grieve being able to go to my comfort foods for emotional comfort rather than having to actually work through it. Even though I'm happier, overall / in the long run, when I first sink into a bad mood that first little while is rough. I don't really grieve the particular foods themselves (yet?) -- but I think that's a mental block on my part at the moment; so many foods have been giving me problems that the idea of many food types make me feel ill, and the idea of anything greasy or fatty makes me downright nauseated. (Seriously, I had a conversation with my mother last week about pepperoni and her stomach issues when she eats pizza, and just picturing pepperoni had me breathing through my nose trying not to gag lol) (I do grieve that on excruciatingly hot days at work, when the guys make a run for iced-capps , there's no soothing ice slushy to make my afternoon more bearable.)

I don't drink diet drinks per se but I love Bubly Grapefruit sparkling water. It’s a refreshing and tangy drink that combines the crisp taste of natural grapefruit with the effervescence of sparkling water. It contains no artificial sweeteners, no calories, and nothing unnatural. It helps keeps me hydrated. I'm kind of the paranoid type when it comes to artificial sweeteners because of the multiple studies showing despite being calorie-free, have shown that they can still interfere with weight management. So I prefer to stick with natural options.

there aren't any calories in Coke Zero, so it shouldn't make you gain weight, but carbonated beverages can irritate some people's stomachs (which is why surgeons don't allow them the first few weeks or months post op - and some surgeons "ban" them for life). I drank Diet Coke occasionally before surgery, but then didn't have any for at least three years post-op. I tried one once while I was at an airport and after a sip or two, I dumped it out. It tasted like chemicals (which basically, it is...). After all that time away from it, it tasted awful. So that was that - haven't had one since. I do drink flavored carbonated water a few times a week now. I still can't drink things that are highly carbonated because after nine years out, carbonation can still irritate my stomach. I can handle mildly carbonated drinks, though. But then again, if faced with a beverage that's too carbonated for me, I just let it sit there for a while until it flattens out enough for my stomach to tolerate it.

I don’t drink sodas diet or not either except for soda water & tonic on the rare occasions I have a gin (can’t recall the last time I had one). I do drink sparkling water every day (San Pellegrino is my go to). I started drinking that around month 3 or 4 I think. I’d let it go pretty flat & sipped on it for hours interspersed with plain water back then. If I’m socialising I’ll sometimes have soda or sparkling water with a slice of lime if I don’t feel like an alcoholic drink. I stopped a lot of carbonated drinks some years before my WLS as a way of managing my reflux, of course the calories (😁) & I was questioning the use & impacts of artificial sweeteners. So I lost my desire/craving for it way before my surgery. But you know you best & whether it will lead you down a slippery slope.

This whole thing is a science! LOL I am a worker-outer? a gym rat? a gym go-er? well you know what I mean. I work out lol I lift 4 days a week, 1 day only cardio and 1 day F45. I eat anywhere from 1300-1600 calories a day. Depending on the day. One days I do not work out I eat less around 1200 cal. I am only 6.5m out and have hit my goal weight, but there are days where I get scared that I am eating too much. From what I have learned in my very short journey is that our body needs the food in order to grow our muscles, and give us energy for our workouts. Your body will balance out, you will notice your body change now too. I noticed that when I allowed myself more calories my legs and booty got thicker which I have been trying to achieve for months but it wasn't happening lol Just track everything and if you find yourself eating A LOT of not great things then you can look back and see why there is a gain. P.S I eat a "bad thing" everyday, I am not super restrictive and deprive myself. I have learned that everything in moderation in order for me to keep this as a life long thing. Tracking has really helped me stay accountable!

A lot of early post-ops are on a virtual starvation diet which does wonders to every system in your body. This is rather expected, and something to get through for all of us. And as we all should know, when the body isn't getting adequate calories it eats fat. Yeah! And muscle. And eventually organs. Plus, your metabolism slows down. Everything that isn't critical is curtailed if not outright shut down. Things that were easily dealt with before might not be easy during starvation. Over a month, even two or three most healthy persons can cope. And typically, by three months most post-ops are upping their calories adequately. The longer we remain at starvation levels the more harm that can be caused. However, above all else, no matter what you do, carp happens. Good luck, Tek

It can definitely feel intimidating. As someone who would categorize myself as a "gym girly" now I will tell you that not one person in that gym started where they are now. They all were beginners at one point, they all fumbled to figure out the equipment, they all made mistakes. Heck I still drop weights, forget how to move stuff, etc. Also, most of us are so focused on what we are doing that we aren't paying attention to those around us. I will also say that most gym people love helping people. We love talking about fitness and sharing knowledge and I am sure many people at your gym would be happy to help you out. A lot of gyms also now have the QR codes on the machines that show you how to use them and some gyms like crunch and planet fitness have preset workouts on the app that you can walk through. My next BIG thing though is going to be about safety. Your diet pre-op sounds VERY calories restrictive and chances are you're not going to have a lot of excess energy for activity at that low of a calorie intake. So many sure you feel up to it. If you feel tried, lethargic, dizzy, have a headache, etc. I wouldn't do a workout. Your body is trying to just function at that stage and might not be up to the excess activity just yet. I am really into post bariatric fitness and just got my certificate in nutrition health and wellness. Reach out anytime on IG @ anastacia_bari_life

I've been okayed to have some soups as long as they don't have big chunks and the milk is supposed to include skim milk powder. I have been adding a scoop of protein powder so that i'm more full a bit longer and helps with getting protein in. It's not much extra calories. I have always ridden my bike everywhere to so because of the exercise, I'm still getting about 1200 calories

Usually weight loss & eating more nutritious foods boosts your immune system. Maybe you’re a little run down from the recovery & healing, the physical & emotional stress of it all, from the changed diet/lower calories & the initial more rapid weight loss. Low protein can affect healing but, if I remember correctly your protein intake has been okay. How are your iron levels? Anaemia can affect your immune system too. Sorry lancing the abscess was so painful. ☹️

Well done for having the hutzpah to go alone. IMHO some gym's really have nasty people in them, If you have found a good one, well done. I used to ask when the quiet times were and found how to use the equipment just in case. I never like to make a fool of myself in public. Later on a few people would comment on how I had really progressed, in a good way. Small steps, big leaps. As I have said before your surgeon is brutal. He really wants you to work for the surgery. You know when you are at your weakest and can plan for it next month. If you need a few cheats - Could you make sugar free squash ice lollies ? Use your milk in a low cal milk shake ? Add some water noodles and chopped spring onion into your broth and add some 5 spice, it would be only 7 ish calories more ?

If you’re losing inches it sounds like you’re putting on muscle 🙂 The best way to describe it is that a lb of muscle takes up less space than a lb of fat, plus muscle burns calories for longer too so additional benefits - yay! I would suggest carrying on with what you’re doing currently and just keeping an eye by tracking your measurements until you feel comfortable in what you’re doing. Your body is getting used to your current changes in upping your calorie intake and is probably thanking you for adding additional fuel while you work out!

Remember the first week is always the hardest on the liquid diet. I didn’t do it for my surgery but I did it myself a couple of time to try to lose weight before I ever thought about surgery. Maybe be a little more gentle on yourself and give your body time to get used to the reduced calories, low/no carbs, and whatever else has been cut from your usual diet like sugar & caffeine & your body used to rely on. The spring cleaning jobs will still be there & who cares if it takes you longer to get through them. (Mine are still there from last year 😂.)

Today is day one of my liquid diet after a two week LSD. I guess I didn’t realize how much I was doing physically until I felt like I hit a brick wall about 6:00pm. Apparently 3 shakes is not enough calories to be spring cleaning all day. For me anyways. I am glad I don’t have much that I have to have to get done tomorrow because I feel like it’s going to be even worse. Anyone else have a hard time with all liquids? I really hope it’s just that and I’m not coming down with something. Surgery day is Wednesday. That would be awful. I just added it up and I had 510 calories with the three shakes and I just had a yogurt which makes it 600. Zero carbs though and I was working pretty hard.

once you get that far out, you have to play around with different calorie ranges to figure out about how many calories you need to eat to maintain your weight, and how many to lose. That range really varies for everyone depending on sex, age, activity level, metabolic level, how muscular you are, what weight you'd like to be at, etc (e.g., you can eat more if you're fine with weighing 180 lbs as opposed to 130 lbs). I can maintain my current weight by eating about 1600 calories - although I can eat a bit more if I'm exercising a lot. To lose, I have to go below 1600. And since I'm pretty close to a normal BMI, I'd have to eat quite a bit less than 1600 to lose a somewhat noticeable amount each week (otherwise, I'm losing just a couple of ounces - and it's hard to distinguish that from normal fluctuations). There are some women on here who can eat 2000 calories to maintain, and others who can only eat 1200. It's really sort of trial and error given how far you're out from surgery. Maybe start with a range - like 1300-1500 and do that for a couple of weeks. If your weight isn't budging, drop the range down by 100 calories. Rinse and repeat until you start losing weight again. P.S. if. you're losing inches but gaining weight, it could be that you're putting on muscle. Or if you've recently started doing more and/or heavier lifting, it could be that your muscles are holding on to more water (since they need water to repair themselves). If that's what's going on, once your muscles are used to that level, your weight should start dropping again.

I have lost 60 something pounds in 1 1/2 years. I think I identified why, but not sure. My WLS dietitian insisted on keeping me at 1000k all this time, even when I told her I was lifting weights. So since December, I have been at the same weight. 3 weeks ago I increased my calorie intake because after all my research I concluded that I was starving. Now, I have gained 2 lbs. currently eating anywhere from 1400 to 1600. I workout 4x a week and walk an avg of 8k steps. While I am measuring and I am loosing in inches, the scale is going the wrong direction. I DON’T know what to do or where to go from here! Don’t get me wrong… I will continue on my journey. I do celebrate my small wins.. but I am a bit frustrated that I am having such a hard time loosing the last 20. For reference I am 42 5’7 and weight 204 started at 267 and lowest in December was 198 (So close!!) lol Anyone else have gone through this?

What about a little olive oil for the healthy fats? Seems like my nutritionist mentioned that at one point. That would up your calories without having to eat more in terms of volume at all.

Thank you all so much!!! I'm definitely taking note of all of this. I've gone shopping and added more fats and a little higher carbs to my diet. I'm at around 1300 calories per day on average, but I'm working on upping the fats and carbs a bit. I'm also looking to keep my protein at around 100g per day if it's at all possible. Not sure about increasing the sugar and salt intake too much. I HAVE had to start using a little bit of Himalayan salt because my bp has been running super low since my hysterectomy (it's been 3 months and it stays around 97/50, sometimes a little lower) and we're trying to get it to come up. Last time I went to the doctor for my 12 week post op appt it was 88/51, so not having a lot of luck there just yet. I don't like the taste of salt anymore, so adding it to nearly everything is tough, but I'm working on it. Thanks again for all of the suggestions!!! OH, and the potatoes are going to be tried tonight. I'm hoping the carbs won't make me sick. And I can't do any kind of cow's milk at all because I'm severely lactose intolerant, so I use almond milk and non dairy cheese and nutritional yeast. Should I be looking at muscle building exercises, and if so, which ones do you recommend? Maybe I should try to bulk up just a little......

ok, so i did quick math on your macros and u are currently consuming less than 900 cals a day (i used the mid point of all your reported ranges). this calorie level (which doesn't take into account exercise) is weight loss level calories, unless you are like 4'10" tall. so its no wonder you are still losing weight. if you double your fats, you could reach up to 1300 a day, which is closer to maintenance level for some, but i suspect you'll need more based on your height and activity level. aside: i am a shrinking 5'2", and have been maintaining a range of 115-120 lbs for over 5 years at a calorie range of 1800-2300+ a day (it all depends on my activity level). currently, im on a (so far) 10-mnth long, high volume exercise kick so i average about 2100 these days. i weighed 116 this morning. further, as is my m.o., i dont eat alot of volume at once, but i eat often (i.e., im a card-carrying grazer lol)...otherwise i would not be able to reach my maintenance calorie level.

You want to do whatever possible now before regain happens. Go back to the basics. Make sure you are eating high protein, low carb! Use a calorie counter for a few days and see what you are generally taking in. I had a bypass in August of 2002. I ended up at one point due to mental health struggles going back to eating badly and regained about 100lbs, not all I had lost but most. One day I had just had it and changed my diet and did walking daily until I could power walk and complete 5k at a time which was huge for me. I haven't medically been able to work or go on walks this summer and I miss it. It helps my mental wellbeing to be out in nature with my favorite tunes. Setting small goals helps me the best. Then I feel good when I can meet them and am encouraged to make a new one. Virtual 5k programs really motivate me. Find what motivates you! I'm sorry you are struggling with bad depression. I've been there until I did a genetic test and found only 1 antidepressants works for me after decades of trying new ones, some obscure one was the winner. I feel so much better and way less SI. I don't know if this is allowed but you are welcome to add me somewhere if you would be interested. My heart goes out to you. I'm very non judgemental and open minded! I hope you have the best day you can! -pawsalmighty

When I was trying to slow my weight loss I was snacking 5 x a day. I felt like I was eating all day long. In time my meal sizes got a little larger though I still snack 3-4 x a day to get the calories in. Peanut paste, nuts, protein bar, string cheese, yoghurt. baked fava beans or chick peas, half an apple, small bunch of grapes, & my left over rolled oats, yoghurt & dried cranberry breakfast are all snack options. I’m a full fat milk & full fat salad dressing girl too. No low fat foods in my kitchen (in many cases it’s high sugar &/or high salt to compensate for the low fat). I wouldn’t get worried yet. Yes there is the bounce back many experience to keep in mind. Your remaining fat will resettle and changes your body shape & you’ll look less gaunt especially in the face. Much like we tell people while they’re losing not to worry about the number on the scales too much, the same is true now while things are stabilising. Though you say you look bony & too skinny how much of this is body dysmorphia & you’re not really seeing yourself? Are you too skinny or is it too skinny in comparison to how big you were before? Are you really seeing bones sticking out or just seeing some shadowing of bones or feeling bones which you’ve never seen or felt before or have forgotten? It takes time to really see yourself after weight loss. Our brains can really twist our thinking.

I'm a bit envious of your ability to purge your pantry! I share a home with my fella and my Mom, who I'm taking care of, so I just have to soldier through and think of what negative consequences would come from me eating the wrong thing. It has been interesting this week seeing them 'figure out meals' without my participation. I still cooked twice for them, the first time I made a big platter of stuffed peppers which wasn't TOO difficult to smell on day one but man, as the week went on smelling it be reheated was rough. The second time I cooked them salmon, broccoli, and rice. I DID break down and eat like two tiny bites of the salmon. I think my body will be forgiving of that tiny lapse - it was after all lean protein. I almost wish I'd done two weeks of this diet to make extra sure I was ready enough for the surgeon but I AM following the diet as I was told to. Granted, the last several months I didn't *exactly* eat the greatest but I did stay on track with my allotted calories for the day, which they had set at 1600. I admit that I did eat more fried food than I was 'supposed to'. It's been hard, honestly, losing my ability to turn to food for comfort, not turning to cigarettes for anxiety / comfort, bouncing around emotionally while I adjusted to taking the Chantix, and also - hadn't mentioned this previously, but I WAS drinking far more alcohol than I should have been up until about 4 months ago. That's another reason I took the extra month's delay when I shifted surgery types gracefully. You seem to REALLY have your stuff in order! Oh - the nail polish - Honestly, the nurse in my closing seminar seemed to be very 'no-polish' strict but when I went to my pre-surgery check-in at the hospital I asked about it and they glanced at my short nails and said they were fine. I was nervous about that, because I keep mine maintained due to my anxiety issues - I used to have trouble not scratching at wounds, biting my nails, etc - but they said as long as my nails were short enough to get the finger monitor on and I didn't have any gems or super dark colors it would be fine. I just went and got my nails done on Thursday and chose super light, neutral colors so you really have to look closely to notice that they have a little shimmer to them and had them done very short. I appreciate that they worry about risk of infection; I've always been super neurotic about looking under my nails for dirt, scrubbing them, etc so I think they will be fine. If I say that often enough everything WILL be fine, right? Lol -- I can't wait to get past Monday!

I’m sensitive to carbs (dumping) and totally lactose intolerant. I can eat potatoes if there’s protein with it, but it can still backfire on me. I agree with Ms. Sss. I feel better with one once of walnut, almonds, or avocado, basically a healthy fat mixed with blueberries or whatever else you want. (I need to measure one ounce fruit but you know yourself better). I tried healthy fats to add some calories and now they help me maintain. I have to measure it because the 3 year rebound is upon me. You do you. Other later night fat snack ideas are one teaspoon peanut butter, or one teaspoon of liquid omega3 orange syrup from Vitamin Shop, or one ounce of real Vermont cheddar cheese. Hard aged cheeses are basically lactose free.

i know this may sound too simple, but really, you just have to eat more. If not in volume, then in calories. it doesn't have to be carbs if you can't tolerate them, but it can be fats. there are 9 calories per gram of fat..more than double the amount of calories per gram of either protein or carbohydrates. avocados (240 cals for just one medium one). macadamia nuts (204 cals for 1 oz)...if you don't like nuts, try the nut butter version. "super' full fat greek yogurt i.e., 9% M.F. (200 cals for 3/4 cup) and my personal favourite and go-to high calorie/low volume snack: chicharron! (i.e., pork rinds): 150 cals for 1oz, 9g protein, 5g fat, ZERO carbs. p.s. also, eating so little carbohydrates is probably contributing to what you say you are not liking about your appearance (i.e., looking too skinny or gaunt). most people find that re-introducing (a "normal" amount of) carbohydrates into their diets after a long hiatus rounds out their appearance again and reduces that gaunt look.