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You both make good points. My surgeon was new to this procedure this year, had only done about 30 when I had my ESG. They also seem to be making up their esg rules as they go. Like when I had my procedure they told me 2 weeks on liquid only but after a week they changed and said I coukd start puree phase 1 week early. Also some documents say I can have 1/2 cup at meals but nutritionist says I should have less. Anyway, I've recently learned that 3 of his patients had problems with the stitches coming loose and the stomach expanding. I had an upper GI scan last week to see how my stomach looks. He said based on my comments he thinks I may need "tightening." I'm not real happy right now...

My major fears: 1. My surgery being canceled or rescheduled. My surgery was supposed to be in May, but this pandemic forced my doctor to reschedule three times before finally having the surgery this past Friday (10/23). 2. That my doctor would do the wrong surgery on me. I wanted the gastric sleeve, but I was paranoid that due to some miscommunication, my doctor would perform a gastric bypass on me. Walking into the OR, my mind was raging with the thought of having the wrong surgery, even though all the papers I signed said gastric sleeve. As I fell asleep with the anesthesia, my last words were “gastric sleeve” 😂 3. Giving up the food I love. I’m Dominican - I was raised eating heavily seasoned ethnic foods. The food of my culture is soooo good, but so unhealthy at the same time. 4. How I’ll look once I lose all the weight. I’m concerned that if I lose too much weight, I’ll look sick. Or that my body will look weird and have saggy skin 😓 I’m only 22, so I’m praying my skin will bounce back, but you never know. My mom had her gastric sleeve at 45 years old (4.5 years ago), and she only had saggy skin (barely) in one area. Hopefully I’ll be as lucky as her. 5. Concerns that I’ll gain the weight back as years pass. Over the last few years, it’s become apparent to me that I’m a stress eater. I’d eat if I was sad, upset, had a rough day, was bored - whatever reason you can find, I chose to eat because of it. My relationship with food was definitely unhealthy. I’m three days post-op: even though my cravings have pretty much vanished, it’s difficult to see my family eat all this good food. I’ve been dying to have a piece of chicken or a sandwich. (Bread and fried chicken were my biggest problems). Even soda, for example. I used to drink so much soda, and now I’ll never be able to drink it. It’s scary to think about. 6. Now that the surgery is done, I’m scared that any weird movement I make, will open up one of my incision sights. I have six total, but only one has stitches. It’s difficult to stand up or even sit up without help. That kind of movement makes me feel the stitches in my very soul - it’s a terrible feeling. Coughing, sneezing, burping: all make me feel the incisions. I lightly press a small pillow on my stomach if I feel like I’m going to cough or anything of the sort; it does help with the pain. 7. This is such a life altering surgery. I wonder sometimes if I was actually ready for it.

Thanks so much for your honest feedback about ageing and skin. I do believe the health benefits will well outweigh it. I suppose this is just a fear beforehand and once I am on the journey it will all be so worthwhile... it’s just the unknown. Good to know you were close to me in age when you had it and I look forward to feeling heaps more energetic from it. I had a TIA a couple of years ago which really scares me and feel a bit like a ticking timebomb so time to take control. Thanks heaps again for your feedback and well done on your success!

2days to go for sleeve surgery. I am excited and nervous and happy and a little anxious and feeling blessed and so so, so many thoughts racing thru my head lol Just gonna go with the flow and be thankful for the gift I have, to feel comfortable, in my own skin again!

Unfortunately yes, it will get saggy. I lost 166 pounds and it’s definitely large and saggy down there. the good news is if you go for a tummy tuck procedure they can lift the mons and make it much more presentable down there. But basically I have this gross little sac of saggy flabby skin. I hate it. I am also in my 30s so if you are younger you may have more elasticity in your skin.

Im a bad scar-er too. Always have been. My scars stay red/raised for a long time, but eventually flatten and turn *almost* back to skin colour...but this takes YEARS. I am two years post op, and my WLS scars are still brown, and one is still raised (don't even talk to me about my plastic surgery scars that are only 10 months old!) Unfortunately aside of proper wound care (keep it clean, keep it moisturized, keep it out of the sun) not much you can really do to influence the way your scars form the way they do. However, you CAN do some "scar maintenance" after the fact (i.e., steroid shots.., surgically excising them in hopes that it will heal nicer...but there are no guarantees to this). The WLS scars are very small though, so unless you suffer from serious keloid formations, they aren't so very stand-out-ish. Edited to add: just remembered something you else can do to aid in better healing: DON'T SMOKE! (at least that is what both my wls and plastic surgeon said...)

The answer to your question is yes, you may end up with saggy skin in the lady parts, depending on how much weight you lose. If you are young, maybe not. I know I had it. However, I just had a lower body lift and that includes a "mons lift," which is lifting the lady parts! Believe me, the results are amazing! Everything, and I mean everything, including the lady parts and the whole lower body looks better than it did before I gained the weight!

Ok so..... first off I apologize for my question. But I’m really curious..... it involves the lady parts post surgery so if you aren’t comfortable with it please leave the thread. Onto the question: did any of you have appearance changes in the lady parts post surgery? Like.... my lady part is plump.... will this change the more weight I lose? Did any one end up with like saggy skin there?

Welcome to the forums. A lot of worries there. Take a breath. Just reading between the lines, it seems like you're worried that you won't like the new you. How do you feel about the current you? Now this is gonna seem like a weird thing to say, but... It's said that WLS makes good relationships better and bad relationships worse. You have a relationship with yourself. That voice in your head. Are you abusive about aspects of your life? Do you constantly belittle your outlook or feelings? Do you second guess every decision you make? Do you put yourself down? The voice in your head is going to go to town when you get the VSG. In my opinion, a therapist will help you through this journey. I don't say this often or lightly. You need to learn to deal with the negative voices in your head and work through the one or two issues that may come up. Start learning to like the old you and improve the relationship before things get out of control with surgery. The beginning of addictive habits now will only get worse. Get help. Get more help. Here's the thing. You don't have to have surgery. You know this because you cancelled 5 years ago. Look at why you cancelled: What has changed? Is it enough to have a surgery you believe you will be unhappy with? If your current food/drink lifestyle is that important to you then perhaps surgery isn't the thing for you. If those meals with a glass of wine is something you can't give up, then don't give them up. You will resent yourself for doing it. This is another place therapy will help. Really. People in an attempt to help you get past your issues will share with you how they had similar issues and they got past them. I had a different form of the issues you describe. I knew there would be extra skin. There was extra skin. There is extra skin. I honestly wasn't worried how others would feel about it. I can't control that. I was focused on what I could do about it. I had a abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) that literally killed me and I decided more surgeries would be ill advised. I live with what's left. I have OCD and was a binge eater. I was worried I would go back to binge eating not how I could incorporate it into my new lifestyle. I wanted to change my habits, which amazingly, I did. For you, with the sleeve, you will be able to eat or drink anything you want. ANYTHING. But not as much as you want. Since you can't eat much, you need to make healthy choices. Wow, this post went in a completely different direction than I expected. Good luck, but don't count just on luck. Get help. If you need it it will help. If you don't need it it will help. Tek

Hello group ... am new to this, I am 58 and live in NZ if anyone else here does (a NZ buddy would be great as well as this fantastic group on this forum)? . After cancelling having a sleeve at the 11th hour 5 years ago I have finally decided to do it. Booked a week ago and surgery in just 4 weeks. Feeling excited and scared. have been this weight for 25 years or so, and worried about what I might feel about the new me.... maybe I wont like her and want the old me back!!! I also worry about how it may age me, as this extra layer does cover up lines etc! I know though that losing the weight and gaining better health will be far more important than how old I may look, and what people think... another worry of mine. I have been close to this size for so long, so worried people will talk negatively about my new look and also I may not like the new me either. I am not vain - the complete opposite, but think about what others say behind my back too much. Saggy skin? Worried about this as well, but guess inevitable. I fear the change in my habits I have developed, like drinking 2-3 glasses of wine a day, and how I will cope. Sad I know but I love a good glass of wine with my meals it will be such a big change! I think I can cope without the food, except cheese!! How did you all go on this... anyone in the same boat as me? I have bad health issues like asthma, high BP, and really need 2 knee replacements which I am trying to avoid doing this. So its going to be so good for my health I know. I would be happy dropping 25 kgs, (55 lbs) and hope I can slow the weight loss when I get there... as just scared I wont like the new me, and have made the wrong decision .... is this normal? Would appreciate any feedback. I have wanted to be slim my whole adult life, dieted for more than half of it, and excited for the journey for a new me & better health. Thanks all, this forum is a great go to for newbies like me.

Good luck to everyone with upcoming dates ! Skin tip: keep skin moisturized. Right after shower oil body up or use body butter. Dry brush. Massage your body. Exfoliate 2 - 3 times a week. Food: keto ideas (when cleared for solid food)

I just scheduled my dietitian appts for the next 6 months. I need to loose 18 lbs before surgery but I know I can do it. This community, youtube videos etc have helped so much. I just gotta take the steps and get things down one thing at a time. I'm emotional because I never thought I'd be able to do this, to get the surgery and start this process. I guess all I want to say is I'm grateful for all of you. For coming here, sharing your stories and being so open and compassionate. I feel stronger because of it. There's going to be good and bad days, but it all will pass and get easier with time. Big love to all of you. 💛

Dr. Vuong says loose skin is a badge of honor. I’m going to keep that in my head when I get there. I’m looking forward, to be like you ❤️.

You made me check my cellulite out but have to admit I couldn’t really see any. It’s all hidden by my crepey, wrinkly, droopy skin. LOL! I didn’t have any varicose veins but the little spider veins on my lower legs are still there. Damn!

First.... i did have fears.... the first WLS (band) i feared the same as everyone else... Death, failure, regain of weight. Second time.... Because i told no one except my husband... death and not having told my kids and family. Again failure and gaining back. Having a complication and having to cancel my wedding which was a month after SX. @Smitty74 Goods: Health, and knowing that you are doing this to make positive changes in your life. Confidence in knowing that you are taking control of your life and that most things will get better. I like walking with my head held high knowing i look better. I always hung my head and looked at the ground. Hated shopping (still dont care for it). The feeling of ..... WOW i just did that (fill in your own). I still want to go sky diving, i want to do a long hike, I want to go to an elaborate Ball and look like a million bucks. I want to buy and wear a really sexy Halloween costume and feel great in it. Bads: How people treat you before..... I've seen and felt both... before where you feel invisible (men actually hold doors open now). People pass and don't give you the time of day, won't help if in trouble, look at you with terror when they think you will sit next to them on a plane. How your own family will sometimes treat you...... they try to stop you from doing the SX because of their fears of your dying, that you will leave them. Partners will sometimes discourage you because of their own insecurities.... Mine did, he said ... You don't need WLS you just need to diet and go work out as you did before and stick with it (then ask you to bake a cake). He said that my personality changed, and I know it did. I wasn't that easily controlled person anymore. He controlled everything in my life because I had zero confidence and felt like I didn't deserve better. After I lost, I gained confidence, and the things I settled for in the past I no longer settled for. No longer did I just agree with everything he wanted. I wanted things too... I wanted to go out and be an active member of society (he was happy sitting on the couch). I had so much built-up energy... I no longer wanted to settle for sex 2x a year. He told me from day one of our marriage that one day we would divorce. Turns out back then he was cheating on me (i was even smaller than i am now). I thought that if i lost the weight he would want me again.... Nope, turns out losing weight tore us even further apart. His insecurities really came to lite. In the nearly 8 years i had the lapband he cheated on me (i didn't know for sure, but my gut knew). He would insult me on a daily basis about my WL. Tell me i look terrible, a bag of bones, ugly, wrinkly, and that i needed to gain the weight back. And for a little while, I did put on 20lbs to make him happy, but I was starting to get depressed again. I snapped out of it and lost that 20lbs and begged him to go to get help, but he said no, that there was nothing wrong with him..... it was all me. After 25-26 years my marriage ended. I lost close friends that couldn't understand my new way of life. They were happy being large and happy with themselves. And it think thats great for them, but it was not for me. So when they would ask to go eat out, they couldn't understand that I no longer took joy in food. That food was just some to keep me alive. I wanted to go to the gym an exercise.... for me it took the place of food and it now brought me joy. So the loss of a relationship with a partner, the loss of friendships, the loss of my favorite foods. Even the loss of some of my comfort clothes. Getting rid of my favorite pants and tops.... the ones I wore because they hid most of the flaws.... The sagging skin is not fun either. The losing hair. The having to learn to THROW OUT FOOD.... that was bad.

Sorry if this is hard to understand, I am in actual tears and I just don’t know what to do. I desperately need advice or comfort or just something from people who may understand what I am going through and maybe know why I am feeling this way. My mom and I had the bariatric sleeve surgery done 2 weeks ago and the experience with her that I have had has been mostly miserable and upsetting. I am extremely obese and have always had a very difficult time keeping the weight off. Long story short I went for a doctors visit and my doctor recommended that I get the bariatric sleeve to help me, since with certain medical issues such as PCOS it can be hard to lose the weight without help. My mother begged me to do it and said that she wanted me to be able to live past her and my dad, and then she went and said that she would do it with me. Now, to some this would seem like a thing of encouragement, and while I do believe that may be part of it, I truly do not believe that that is the true underlying reason. You see, my mom is an alcoholic (she is viciously mean when she is drunk), and I believe that she is very self-absorbed. Not in the way that she thinks she is the greatest thing to walk the planet, but in the way that she always needs to be the center of attention. We haven’t always had the best relationship, as she has said and done many things that have really hurt me, and every time that we have tried to talk about these issues (when she wasn’t drunk) she always has some excuse, or blames everything on her past trauma, or how she just wants to let loose and have fun. A spitting example is how she once told me when she was drunk that she was just wanting to let loose, since she lost some of her twenties -aka the party years- due to having me. Almost every hurtful thing and word that she has said has stuck with me for a long time, and when my family tried to go to family therapy, my mom decided to stop since the therapist “kept saying that everything was her fault.” Another key thing is that she is also overweight, but not nearly as big as me, and she has tried hundreds of diets and pills and has never stuck to any of them for very long. Anyway, I tell you all of this so that maybe you understand why I think she mostly wanted me to do the surgery since I am clearly at more of a health risk and part of her wouldn’t feel right doing it without me. This of course could all be in my head. So no, on to the real problem at hand. Ever since we have been released from the hospital she has not been doing well -I am a college student and came home for the recovery process but plan to move back to campus as soon as possible. At first it was just minor things that bugged me a little bit, such as every time a food commercial came on the television, she would moan about how the food looks so good and yadda yadda. This was minor, but it still bugged me since I too had gone through the surgery and did not need to hear her constant moaning about how good something looked on the tv. This coupled with the constants complaining about how much she was hurt, and how much she hates the blood thinner shots that we must give ourselves, slowly started to drive me up the walls. I HATE needles, but just recently I have been able to give blood and receive shots without crying, while she has literally been fine and delt with needles for years, but all the sudden she claims that she hates needles (which I mean who doesn’t, but come on). After I got annoyed enough, I watched her do the shot and saw that she had been doing it in a way other than the nurses had showed us, and when I tried to point it out to her, she waved me off and said that she was doing it the way that she was showed. Another thing with her complaining about her constant pain. The first night we got home, - 2 days post op- we both slept on the recliner couch. The next night she tried to sleep in bed, even though I had warned her against it. She tried for a few days, each day complaining about pain, while I suggested that she try sleeping on the couch again. I sleep on our recliner couch for nearly the two whole weeks that we have been home. I have finally been able to sleep in bed for the past two nights, and my pain is almost gone, while she claims to still have pretty bad pain. And guess where she has been sleeping the past few days. The couch. Now comes the parts that have really been getting to me. She has not been following the diet plan that our Doctor gave us. First it was her not drinking enough fluid, which I constantly had to tell her to do. Then, it was the incident that occurred a few days ago. Our doctor has us on full liquids right now, which consists of things like sugar free pudding, low-fat yogurt, chicken broth, and instant mashed potatoes. Well, a few days ago she went to the store with my brother, I cannot remember why I did not go, but I did not. When she came home, I went into the kitchen and saw a bag of open potato wedges and I instantly knew that she had some. So, I went and asked her, and she said that she did and that she made sure to chew them up well and that her stomach tolerated them just fine. Then I found the little foil covering of sour cream and knew that she had some of that as well. And while sure, potatoes mashed in your mouth is similar to mashed potatoes, the things that get me are: 1. They’re fried, which is an absolute no no as of right now, and 2. They aren’t on our list of approved foods so why even chance it. Anyway, I tried to move past that one and dropped it. Then tonight came. My mom made my dad and brother biscuits and gravy and eggs for dinner. I had some of the scrambled eggs because those have been approved by our doctor, and apparently, she had more than just eggs. Then, just a few moments ago, she came into the living room with a small bowl of chili. We are not supposed to be having chili for another day. And again, I understand that its only one day, but that fact that she cannot follow simple doctors’ orders has driven me mad. Now here’s the real kicker. Not only did she have the chili before she was technically allowed to; she put Fritos Scoops chips in it. Now I know for sure that we are NOT supposed to be having those. And then the smell of it and the anger drove me crazy, and I excused myself from the room, claiming that I had to go charge my phone. Well, after I did not return for a few minutes she came looking for me and knew I was upset. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it and that it didn’t matter -I said this because my opinions and feelings have never ever felt like they mattered to her, especially when we are in conflict. She came and sat down and kept pushing asking me why I was mad and said things like “so you’re mad because I had chili one day early?” and then she used the, “I have already lost weight” which I replied I wasn’t talking about her weight and that didn’t matter. She also said that it should not matter since she didn’t make me eat it. I then told her I didn’t want to talk about it now and she finally left. I know that I shouldn’t worry about it, and that I should just focus on myself, but it kind of feels undermining to me. She did not need this surgery as much as I did, but even still I feel like she doesn’t really care or understand how much effort this is. I honestly believe that she thinks she just going to get skinny and not have to do anything. She doesn’t exercise and clearly, she doesn’t have the willpower to not eat something if it looks or smells good, not to mention that fact that she never watched the hour long lecture the doctor wanted us to watch and just asked me what it was about and told me that she would watch it that night at work. Heck, she didn’t even know what the bariatric sleeve surgery really even was until a few days before the surgery when I mentioned that part of our stomach was going to be removed. I am just getting really upset at this point and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to have to lie to the doctor or listen to her lie to the doctor again -she has lied about her alcoholism, tobacco usage, and what she has been eating before the surgery- when we have our first post-op appointment. And I don’t even want to bring these things up to her, because she gets very combative when she gets defensive and is never able to see things past her own perspective. My dad says that it wasn’t me who needed her support in this, but that he thinks she needed mine, but at this point I don’t even know what to do. How am I supposed to support her when she cant even follow simple rules and restrain herself from eating things that she is not supposed to be eating? How am I supposed to look at that and make my own progress when she is making it seem like its fine to just go back to eating whatever I want whenever -which I know is not true. I know I have more willpower and restraint than she does; that fact has been made abundantly clear to me. I am just at a loss. I know her surgery is going to be pointless and she is going to complain when she plateaus or even gains the weight back. How do I keep myself from getting so upset over this? Am I just crazy? Am I acting selfishly? Please help. I am sure I did not include some of the information or things that have happened, but I know this has already been a lot to read.

I had surgery on Sept. 21st. Thid past week I have been very constipated. I have taken Myrilax and had 2 hard BM. Do you all have any suggestions of what I can do to get a loose BM? I have been on a stall and I feel like I could lose 5lbs if I could have a good BM.

That is spectacular! And thanks for the real photos of skin. I hope to get that look also! hahah

Pretty much the same as what others have already said! Complications - The main reason I took so long to have the surgery (I first looked into it about 15 years ago) is that I've always been lucky enough to have good health, and I was afraid that I would have complications and end up being sick and in the hospital all the time. I actually didn't worry that much about dying, but I don't have any dependents. In the last few days before surgery, it occurred to me that I should put my affairs in order just in case. I intended to leave some notes on my work in case I died and someone had to pick up what I was doing, but I eventually decided, "If I'm dead, work can be someone else's problem." Surgery getting canceled/delayed - I had a fairly narrow window to get the surgery at a time that wouldn't conflict with any major commitments, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get in that window because of COVID, insurance delays, issues discovered during pre-op testing (I had this feeling that they would find a problem on the EKG the morning of surgery, or that I would get COVID right before surgery), and then I'd have to wait until next year to do it. The pre-op process seemed a little too easy and I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not losing weight/regain - I live in fear of regain every single day. I've been on a lot of diets and lost a lot of weight, only to regain it and more every time. I've heard of people getting WLS and regaining all the weight, and wow, that would be devasting, to go through all of this and end up back where I started. I'm doing great now, but I have this nagging knowledge that I've been here before, succeeding at weight loss for a short period of time, but I've never been able to sustain it in the long run. I actually had very little concern about my appearance since I looked horrible at my heaviest and it could only improve. I wasn't bothered by the thought of having loose skin because I think loose skin is far better than the alternative (skin full of fat). I never thought I would consider plastic surgery, but now I'm jealous of the results of people here who have had it, so I'm not so sure anymore (I still have a long way to go before I get to that bridge, though).

You aren't alone. I'm so used to how I look now, I'm worried I won't like what I see. Especially with loose skin and possible hair loss. But, at the end of the day, my desire to add years to my life outweighs my concern in that way. It's not shallow imo. How we look changes the way a lot of the world reacts to us, which feeds our own insecurities or appreciations. I'm actually nervous about how people may treat me differently. I've heard sometimes there can be jealousy, or previous friendships fall apart because you are no longer their "fat friend". Which, I guess in hindsight, is better to know then to not know. I'm sure I'll still be the same dorky me, but lighter. Hopefully most of my friends and family will be supportive. I'm excited for you and your journey. I'm right there with you.

Yes, I have Kaiser and they require/suggest you loose 10%. I have actually lost 22%. My doctors are a little lenient on the 10%, they just absolutely do not want to see any weight gain.

I'm finally starting to see visible results, now that I've lost 115 pounds. I lost about 70 pounds before surgery and nobody noticed. I was also wearing the same size pants (26/28) for the first 90 pounds of weight loss until they were so loose that I couldn't wear them anymore. I bought some size 22 pants and shrank out of them in about a month. I just bought some size 18 pants and received them yesterday. When I took them out of the package, I thought, "These are definitely too small, but that's ok -- I'll shrink into them." I tried them on anyway, and to my surprise, they actually fit. Sadly, I've already missed the window on most of the clothes I never wore because they were too small; they're almost all too big now (but I feel like there's more leeway in wearing tops that are too big). Not a single person at work said anything through the first 110 pounds of weight loss. I guess I started out so big that even after losing over 100 pounds, I was still just about the biggest person around. I haven't told anyone I got WLS and I don't discuss diet and weight at work, so nobody really knew I was trying to lose weight. But this week, I got three compliments in two days. The first was pretty subtle; she whispered to me that I look really good and she needs to know what I'm doing. The second was, uh, not subtle. He asked loudly in front of a bunch of people if I lost weight, and I mumbled, "Yeah, a little," and then he said, "Oh, you definitely lost weight!" The third just told me I look good, but it was pretty obvious what she meant. It's all kind of awkward because implicit in their compliments is the fact that I used to look terrible and they definitely noticed. I think more highly of people who don't say anything either way because I'd prefer not to have my body up for discussion in the workplace, but I have to admit it's good to know that there is a noticeable difference.

I asked am I'm I suppose to be here is because I haven't had any surgery. My starting weight was 376 last year. Enough was enough for me. I made up my mind and did it. I now weigh 282 pounds! I'm losing more. My skin in certain areas is now drooping. I'm kinda now lost. I feel alone. If I'm doing anything wrong, let me know. Thanks in advance!

First pic, dinner as meant to be served: Grilled Lemongrass pork with cucumbers, pickled veg, white rice & Nuoc Cham sauce & some homemade chicharron made from the skin/rind removed from the pork shoulder. Skipped the rice (surprise, surprise). 141 calories. Just a few bites of leftovers which i fully intend on finishing later after a bit more digestion, lol. 2oz chicharron: 334 calories (had this before main meal which explains my low consumption of the rest) Also, a coffee martini (not shown) while I was grilling : 141 calories 616 calories total