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:happybday2: Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear me, Happy Birthday to me! :happybday: Well, its my birthday again. Just like last year. I am hoping to be at goal by this time next year. You would think I'd be able to accomplish that. I've lost 60 lbs. in the 4 months since my surgery. I've got 80 lbs. left to lose before goal, so it should be possible to lose that over the next 12 months. That is my major long-term goal: to be at goal by my next birthday. Which will be the 1st. anniversary of my 29th. I've had a much better week, gym-wise. I went three times this week. I've been doing each machine and station twice in a row. Somehow this makes me think the workout is shorter. I've got a gullible brain I guess. My ticker remains the same. At least didn't gain during my period of sloth-itude. I'm just stalled. I'm getting another fill next week.

:happybday2: Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear me, Happy Birthday to me! :happybday: Well, its my birthday again. Just like last year. I am hoping to be at goal by this time next year. You would think I'd be able to accomplish that. I've lost 60 lbs. in the 4 months since my surgery. I've got 80 lbs. left to lose before goal, so it should be possible to lose that over the next 12 months. That is my major long-term goal: to be at goal by my next birthday. Which will be the 1st. anniversary of my 29th. I've had a much better week, gym-wise. I went three times this week. I've been doing each machine and station twice in a row. Somehow this makes me think the workout is shorter. I've got a gullible brain I guess. My ticker remains the same. At least didn't gain during my period of sloth-itude. I'm just stalled. I'm getting another fill next week.

Brandy...when do you wanna get together? I'm totally up for it. I burst out laughing at the hold hair in the stall comment. hahaha. I need to start working out. I threw up so much over the weekend that on Monday morning I was very depressed about it. I thought about the past week or so and realize that I'm trying to get away with eating things that I just can't eat anymore. sometimes I can..but most of the time I can't. Bread just is a no go for me now. So Monday morning I decided to conciously think about the choices I'm making and so I've been really careful about what I eat and how I eat it and I haven't thrown up since Sunday night. almost THREE days with no PBing! it's such sweet relief. I think I'm starting to figure this out!

Here is a letter I wrote to my health insurance to explain my situation. They told me that even though I was a perfect candidate for the lapband, they would not cover it. Nor would they cover ANY proceedure, medication, therapy, doctor's visit to discuss weightloss, gym membership. I borrowed the money and I had the band in July. At this time last year, I weighed 380. I now weigh 315! Maybe this can help someone.... Obesity is affecting my life in the following ways: Physically Hypertension My blood pressure continues to get higher and higher despite the use of medications. When I must walk any distance I can feel my pulse in my face. sleep Apnea I must now sleep with an ugly cumbersome breathing machine at night. I am afraid I will die in my sleep if I don’t use my CPAP. Caught Variant Asthma When I have an asthma attack, I cough because I can’t breathe. I cough so hard I turn purple, pee my pants and throw up…not nice anywhere, especially in front of a classroom full of elementary kids. Foot and ankle pain The pain in my feet and ankles is so severe, that at night I must elevate and ice them just to be able to walk around the house. I have spurs on many of my foot bones because I have carried around so much weight for so long. Chaffing My thighs rub together. My arms rub my sides. My fat folds rub each other and the tops of my legs. It is miserable! Even though I wash, medicate, powder, use antiperspirant under my belly fat and in the creases and wear absorbing cotton clothing, I STILL rub, sweat, chafe, hurt, and break out in nasty folliculitis. Walking My thighs are so fat; my legs are forced to spread, causing my gait to be too wide. This makes my hips and lower back hurt. I walk like an old fat cowboy duck. Just watch me next time I come into the room. I can’t walk more than a block without pain in my back, hips, feet and ankles. I am out of breath after the first 100 yards. My ankles and feet hurt so badly all day. Stairs? Ha. Going up is actually better than going down. I may be slow ascending stairs and need breaks within a single flight, but descending, well I can’t see my feet to see the next step below me. Each step down jars my huge frame. It is easier if I turn to the side, hold on to the rail and use a side step, using the same foot to lead on each step. I prefer elevators or escalators even if I am going down one flight. Sweating Have you ever been so winded and worn out after taking a trip through Wal-Mart that the sweat rolls down your back and into your butt crack? No? Try being me for a day. Getting Up I have a hard time getting in and up out of cars, chairs, the floor and bed. Fitting I need chairs without arms. Do you know how many chairs have arms? All movie theatres, all theatrical venues, all stadiums, all beauty shops, dentist chairs, office chairs, lawn chairs, waiting rooms, airplanes, trains, and most restaurants (I’m sorry ma’am we only have chairs with arms, do you think you could fit in a booth? HA!) I don’t fit in many cars, non handicapped bathroom stalls, dressing rooms, bathtubs, the spaces between clothing racks at stores, and turnstiles. Bathrooming First I must see if I have enough room to spread my leg wide enough to wipe, then I check the sturdiness of the toilet. I have been on a toilet in the midst of a very delicate maneuver when the toilet has come loose from the floor and made a horrible mess. It is a very embarrassing thing to have to tell your hostess that you broke her toilet and ruined the bathroom rugs. Once all seems to be fit, I do my business and then attempt to lean forward with one arm tucked under my belly. I must balance all of me onto my tip toes and reach through the front. This acrobatic feat is difficult. I do not fit in regular sized bathtubs. If I must bathe, I force my hips into the tub. I had to install a shower wand to clean my self properly while showering. I use hibiclense and other antimicrobial soaps and solutions to reduce the risk of folliculitis, and faruncles. I shower every morning and every evening to keep my fat folds clean and my body smelling nice. Clothing This is a big issue with me. I must be very careful in clothing I select as not to bring attention to my self. One day I bought a very expensive, very cute chartreuse short set. I wore it to the store and I had a very rude person look directly at me and mimic my walk and say, “Look, at me…I am a big, fat lime!” Super sized clothing is hard to find. Once you do find it, it is very expensive. I spend a lot of time, effort and money covering my body in a tasteful way. I must be very careful in selecting clothing. I cannot fit in any clothes from regular plus sized shops. I surpassed the sizes at Lane Bryant 5 years ago. I am now wearing the largest size at the only two mail order clothiers available. I will have to resort to having “tents” made for me if I don’t loose weight. Sex Sex is very difficult because of my large stomach and large backside. This is a very difficult topic to discuss, and an even more difficult topic to endure. My sex life is not what I want it to be because my fat makes sex very difficult. I also feel very self conscious about my body. Mentally Embarrassment I do not like the way I look. I feel embarrassed about how I look to other people. I feel that my fat makes me ugly and undesirable. It is embarrassing to not fit in a $120.00 Chicago theatre seat and have to ask the manager if there is any where else he could seat me. I am embarrassed when am winded from taking my students out to recess. I am embarrassed when I must lift my fat belly up over a turnstile to fit through it. Compensating I feel I must be better, smarter, funnier, cleverer, and more charming because I am fat. I have developed quite a sense of humor to mask my hurt at being left out of many things over the course of growing up. Sarcasm is one of my compensating tools. Sadness- I cry often because I am overwhelmed about my weight. It make s me feel so sad to think about all of the things I miss out on because I am fat. I hate myself for getting so fat and out of control. I am angry at myself for not being able to stick to an eating plan and exercise regime. Fear I do not want to develop heart problems because of my obesity. I fear going to the doctor each time, because I am expecting to hear the words “heart disease.” My blood pressure scares me. Anxiety then takes over and I feel overwhelmed with guilt and fear. Self Consciousness I cover my body with big baggy clothes. I cover my belly with a pillow to “hide” my fat when I am sitting on a couch. I am always very aware of how other people are looking at me, and the remarks they make. This horrible habit puts a strain on my marriage. Self Worth My self worth is in the toilet. I feel disgusting. I hate being fat and I hate not being able to control my food intake. I feel bad about not being able to lose weight. I feel like a failure because I am not able to stick to a successful diet or long range exercise program. These and many more mental obstacles must be overcome daily, even hourly. It is emotionally draining to have to prepare my self mentally for a day, not to mention the actually endurance of the emotions through the day. I am tired and disgusted with being so emotionally tied to this weight. Socially As a child I was ridiculed and left out of peer activities. In middle school I had a handful of friends, but the fat jokes and ridicule over shadowed me and made me feel worthless, ugly and unwanted. There was a rumor that followed me through all of 6th, 7th and 8th grades about me looking pregnant and every week it the big joke was to ask me whose baby it was. Ha! So funny! A three year “gestation period” was more than I could endure. I sought help from the school counselors. They told me if I lost weight they would stop bothering me. High school was miserable. I was never asked on a date, never held a boy’s hand. I was always overlooked. College was no different. Either were my 20s. No boyfriends, no dates, nothing…and I DID try. I tried 2 dating services; I spent 3 years in a huge singles group at my church. While my girlfriends were on dates and getting engaged, I was alone and depressed. I finally put a personal ad on yahoo. I did find a loving man who I fell in love with and married. I love my husband, but I wish I didn’t have the lonely rejection filled past. There are many social opportunities that I must turn down because of my morbid obesity. Camping, swimming, hiking and traveling are too difficult at my size. When a friend asks me to go out, I must consider all of the possibilities (Will there be room for me, is the restroom big enough, is her car big enough, will the chair support me even if I do fit?) There worries are enough to make me want to stay at home, and often times, I do because of worry and shame. Financially It is expensive to be fat and even more expensive to yo-yo diet. I have done both since I was 16. Specialty clothing costs twice as much as other clothes. My medical needs are very costly, even with health insurance. I spend lots of money on my favorite hobbies, eating and cooking. I need help. I want to be successful in losing weight. I am ready. I want to be able to walk with our pain. I want to be alive for another 35 years, at least! Please help me by considering me for weight loss surgery.

Well I have some restriction. Not a whole lot, but it is a start. I want to wait until I'm completely stalled before I schedule another fill. It seems like the only time I manage to lose weight is the week I'm on liquids after a fill. Although I must admit, that I only stayed on liquids for about three days. I had my measuring day at Curves a few days ago. I'd lost 20 lbs. since I joined and they were all asking me what was my secret. So I pulled up my shirt and showed 'em my scars. Then I erased my name off the "Brag Board" 'cuz I'd really rather people didn't keep bringing it up. It makes me feel very awkward. I've never been good at accepting compliments & praise. I'm really very self-deprecating. Most of the time. Here are my stats from the Curves measuring day: Bust 49 in. -3 in. Waist 47in. -4 in. Abdomen 52 in. -3 in. Hips 50 in. -3 in. Thighs 28 in. -2 in. Arms 16.5 in. -2 in. Body fat 42.6% -1.9% (for stats from my 1st. Curves measuring day, see entry #24)

Well I have some restriction. Not a whole lot, but it is a start. I want to wait until I'm completely stalled before I schedule another fill. It seems like the only time I manage to lose weight is the week I'm on liquids after a fill. Although I must admit, that I only stayed on liquids for about three days. I had my measuring day at Curves a few days ago. I'd lost 20 lbs. since I joined and they were all asking me what was my secret. So I pulled up my shirt and showed 'em my scars. Then I erased my name off the "Brag Board" 'cuz I'd really rather people didn't keep bringing it up. It makes me feel very awkward. I've never been good at accepting compliments & praise. I'm really very self-deprecating. Most of the time. Here are my stats from the Curves measuring day: Bust 49 in. -3 in. Waist 47in. -4 in. Abdomen 52 in. -3 in. Hips 50 in. -3 in. Thighs 28 in. -2 in. Arms 16.5 in. -2 in. Body fat 42.6% -1.9% (for stats from my 1st. Curves measuring day, see entry #24)

A friend sent this to me and it had me lmao. Hope you enjoy and can add to it. You Know You Are A WLS Patient When "I have a date" doesn't mean you are going out. You have baby food in the house and no baby. "I'm a loser" is a good thing. All of your silverware says "Gerber" A wooden spoon isn't just for cooking anymore. "Welcome to the other side" does not mean you have die. New clothes fall off the next week. You are excited about "hand me downs" The scale at Wal-Mart doesnt'r say "one at a time please "Going bald and getting wrinkles is a good thing. Just Water for me please. Hitting the "Century Mark" is a good thing! You love the taste of Chewable Centrum Rugrats Vitamins or biting the head off of Wilma You can be Touched by an Angel and not be considered crazy. When your rear end doesn't look like a mud slide anymore??? When your excited your incision is only 6 inches When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club!! Other women are calling you "bitch" behind your back. When you are glared at in the plus size dept because you really don't belong there anymore! When you really don't have a thing to wear !When you have to prove you are you on your license! When you start being IN the pictures, not behind the camera! Life has new possibilities. You want to hug everyone who is fat and give them your surgeon's card. You are never without a bottle of water. When people look surprised when they see how little you eat When you know all too well the definition of "dumping". When you can see your feet for the first time in years!! When you order a doggy bag the same time you order your meal. Counting Protein grams instead of calories You can say "Oh, I won't have any of that, I'm full" and really mean it Being to small for your britches. When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position in your bra & secure with a pony-tail holder!!! (sorry for the visual guys!) Having someone say, "I can put my arm (not arms) all the way around you!! "When you go to your child's school and the other kids say WOW you're mom is hot!When you go to the mall and you park in the first open space instead of circling for 20 minutes for a spot by the door. When you and your new best WLS friend are planning a date to get belly button rings...(or a tattoo!) You truly are a "Cheap date" and not in the way that some think..... When one drink makes you a flipping floozy... When you run you don't hear a flapping noise.....oh wait you still do.....but at least your running! When not throwing up counts as a really good day! When you flip up your shirt to show your scar to a complete stranger! You feel like you have over eaten after eating half a cup of something. Vitamins and Calcium etc. feel like a meal. When your pants suddenly fall to the ground! You go from size 56 DDDD to 32AAA and in one year and you didn't have a breast reduction. When the chef comes out from the kitchen and asks you "what's the matter, don't you like the meal? "You've just lost 100 pounds, and someone who hasn't seen you in a while says .... "Gee, did you change your hairstyle?" or what did you do, cut down on carbs? When you bend over and see daylight through your thighs You can cross your legs....both of em! When you say, "I just got these clothes last week and they're already too big!" Trying to cash a check and the teller says, "That's not you!" Instead of the "Wonder Bra" you need a "Wonder Where They Went Bra" When you walk by a mirror and say to yourself "Who is that girl?" When people take a double look at you. When you go out for the evening and feel like Cinderella. When your obsession turns from food to your scale. When they no longer have to call 911 and the jaws of life to extricate you from the turnstiles When your boobs are no longer just big, but they're are now also looonngg. When the Sharpei you pass on the street reminds you of someone......You! When taking a splinter out of your own foot no longer involves rope with the tweezers or a second party with tweezers. When you start buying shoes that tie again When your hand will fit in the Pringles can again, but you don't want any. When the thought of an all you can eat buffet makes you want to barf. When the steering wheel in your car no longer cuts off the circulation in your tummy You no longer have a mark on your shirt from the steering wheel rubbing on it. When you drop food, it no longer lands on your boobs, but hits your lap where the napkin is. No more cracked toilet seats! You can avoid the handicap stalls in public restrooms because you can now "fit" in a regular stall. The thought of flying coach no longer sends you into a panic attack. When your able to tuck a blouse into your pants When you don't use the tongs to fry chicken When you are excited to be able to go to the thrift shops and get your dressy clothes When the flight attendant doesn't reach for the seat belt extender & you can sit by the window When you can drive your car with the steering wheel down, and you can bring the seat somewhat closer to the gas pedal, instead of using your tippy toes When people actually "see" you and talk to you, and not through you like you are invisible. When you order a child's meal, and take half of it home in a doggie bag When checking for leaks doesn't mean looking at your panties!!!!!! When your spandex shorts are used for *JOGGING*, and not merely as an anti-chaffing between-the-thighs-shielding-device. When your exercise equipment isn't just for drying your fine washables anymore. When you start dropping things on purpose, just because you can pick it up so easily now. People who know you are concerned that you are working out too much. You mother says "dear, you aren't eating enough". When you can honestly say "I threw my back out from a combo of mountain climbing in the daytime and too much wild sex in the nighttime on my romantic vacation with my new Swedish boyfriend, Sven", instead of "I threw my back out trying to wipe my own @$$". When they say "put your trays up" on the plane and yours was actually down! When someone gives you a hand and it's applause, not help up out of your chair. You don't even NOTICE the shock of horror on everyone's face when you turn to your spouse in a public place and exclaim that you are about to DUMP. When your Dr. looks you in the eye and says, "I know you will be a success at this. "When your boyfriend/spouse starts gaining weight because of eating your leftovers. When you can run up a flight of stairs and aren't even panting a little! When you are laying flat on your back and realize that the bulges in your armpits are where your boobs have gone. When you leave a piece of you wherever you go (hair). When you realize that you are no longer the "big girl" in the office You can't wait to wake up and start your day. You are having sex and your husband complains of your hip bones poking him. Your butt gets tired of sitting because you have no padding. You can sit cross-legged on the floor and you show everyone who will look. You can wear corduroy pants without starting small fires behind you! Being able to do Taebo without being winded... but pilates kick your butt Running into old flames, and saying "Do I know you?" You look forward to flirting with the new cute phlebotomist at your doctor's office. Your clothes fall off in a public place and your scream for joy, not embarrassment You go out to eat and ask if anyone wants to split a kids meal with you You have clothes left at the alterations place for months, because every time you go in to try them on, they are still too big and have to be taken in again "Cheating" means eating three crackers You stop ordering combo meals because you are not allowed to have the soda You stop looking for minimizer bras, and start buying water bras! When people you know but haven't seen since before surgery DON'T know you! When you wave and your upper arms wave back When you walk backwards no one feels the need to make a beeping sound When your daughter says, "mommy - when I grow up I want to have long, hangy down, pointy boobies just like you". You have to safety pin your underwear on (size 14 panties on a size 6 butt) You've ever eaten (and enjoyed) pureed tuna Having your neighbor think your husband had gotten a divorce and married someone thin! You turn on the morning show JUST to see Al Roker! Before your surgery, it's all you can talk about...After your surgery, it's all everyone else can talk about!! You are actually bold enough to admit your weight, and even post it on the internet!!!You can eat 1/4 of a chicken breast and feel like you just finished Thanksgiving dinner. You actually look forward to stepping on the scale! You are not embarrassed of anything that you have in your buggy at the supermarket!You have a wingspan larger than an airplane...LOL!! Your co-workers are getting diet tips from you instead of vice versa! When it doesn't take your breath away to roll over in bed. When you're no longer embarrassed to tell people you weigh 200 pounds Being able to hang clothes in the closet without them falling off the hanger Looking for protein everything Having your children take your food because you are full not the other way around Not afraid of the elevator because of weight limit Cannot only blame the cat for shedding When after a night on the town with some support group friends you go out to Breakfast, order 1 meal, and split it 4 ways! And once you have finished eating, there's still a half of each quarter portion left on each plate! When you are the one (instead of your husband) that blames that terrible odor on the dog! When your pet needs a gastric bypass because you feed it all your leftovers! You leave costco feeling like you've left an all you can eat buffet (all those free samples!) When food tastes the same coming up as it did going down and water is still cold coming up! When you call Lane Bryant and cancel your credit card. When you race to your scale for a quick fix instead of your fridge? When Crystal Lite is too sweet for your taste buds When you spend more time reading product labels than you do any books. When you spend a day in your room trying on clothes you shoved to the back of the closet When researching plastic surgery for your TT, boobs, arms, thighs becomes a near olympic event When you say "OMG I LOOOOOVE chocolate" and you are referring to a Protein shake and not a box of Fanny Mae or Ethel M's You buy 3 Lean Cuisines a week...and that's your total groceries. Your rings keep spinning around your fingers The kids wonder what happened to the cookie and cake fairy...did she die??? - Author Unknown

I have PB'd once, and had one strange incident with air. LOL Let me explain. I had eaten an hour earlier, and all of a sudden i got really light headed and nausiated. I ran to the bathroom, mouth water, thinking i was going to puke. this was three days after my first pb so i was tender and scared. I leaned over the sink, all the stalls were taken, heaved and nothing but a lot of air came out. and voila! I felt fine. it was freaky. I also do the 6 small meals a day, every 2 hours. I do not get in 1000 cals a day. I average closer to 600, but i am losing like crazy. and occasionally i drink with meals, or drink my meal. it just depends on what i feel like eating. my one pb moment was fast, and all my fault. i was eating in the car and ate too big a bite. I was on my period so i had restriction, and it just got stuck. I pulled into a car park lot, got out, threw it up and i was fine. no pain or anything. but i was tender for a few days after. this was about 4 weeks after the band sugery.

Hope If you are regularly PB'ing, you probably don't need a fill yet. Get that under control before doing anything more to yourself. I think you just need to pay attention to what your body is telling you. I am one of the older gals, too - 60. We just react to things differently than the 30 year olds. Metabolism is different now. Sad, but that is the way it is. I would forget WW and follow the bandster diet. Three oz of Protein, then veggies, then carbs. I just try to eat good food. I have yet to have my first fill. Banded about 2 months ago. However, I have been gaining and losing the same pound for about three weeks. I found I was able to eat anything I wanted to put in my mouth, *normal* sized bites, and but still chewed well. That isn't good. No wonder I have stalled. I finally made my first fill appointment for the end of July. We may just be slow losers.

The Journey My Initial Stats: Initial BMI 42.5 Ideal BMI 23 Initial Weight 288.4 Ideal Weight 156 Total amount of wt. I have to lose- 132 Height in inches 68 (5'8") Where I Am Today Current weight 178 Current BMI 27.1 total pounds I have lost - 110 total pounds I still need to lose - 22 percentage of wt. lost - 83.3% (total wt. lost divided by the total amount I have to lose- 132 pounds) The Motivation: Christmas 2005 My daughter is getting married! She wants a big wedding. I'm so excited for her, but all I keep thinking about are the wedding pictures forever sitting on the mantle, with my fat arms and chubby chipmunk cheeks staring back at me. How will find a "special" dress that will fit right? Gowns in the bridal salon only go up to a size 24, and I am now a solid size 26. Oh the pain, and the panic! They've set the date for April 14th, 2007, so I have 15 1/2 months! Mid January 06 - I read about Lap Band and begin to research. I can see from the start that I will have to be self pay because of small business group exclusion on my policy. Early February 06 - I call St. Agnes and get the low down on attending their information night. Dr. Averbach is the speaker, as is his nurse, Cathy Carr. I go home after the meeting and talk to hubby, and he is willing to lay out the money from savings, though he is very, very concerned about the band's safety. He makes me get an appointment with our family doctor/ friend and discuss this with him. I bring info and get the doctor's ok. In 28 years of marriage I have never ask my husband for anything of this magnitude. It's so much money! In moments when the low self esteem kicks in, that small voice inside tries to tell me that I am not worth it. But I'm fighting back, and yes, yes, YES I AM worth it. I want this band so bad! I understand clearly that this journey will take three years. I will not be "skinny" by the wedding, but I should be well on my way. I'm ok with that. This wedding is the push that I've needed. Late February 06 - the whirlwind has started. I need a psychological evaluation, a meeting with Cathy Carr, an evaluation with the nutritionist, a complete physical and blood work, and a meeting with the doctor. When all is said and done, I am scheduled for surgery four days after Easter- April 20th, 2006. The wedding is April 14th, 2007, so I have exactly ONE year. THE JOURNEY Here We Go....... My 'OFFICIAL" pre-op starting wt. is 288+ but I am sure I gained a few pounds (at least a couple) between my initial weigh-in and the actual surgery date! :svengo: 4/20/06- surgery date - The journey begins! 2 wks. of liquid diet (15 pds. total for April) The surgery was worse than I thought it would be. I expected to be down for a day or two. I still feel rough after a week. Getting into a sitting up or lying down positions are the worst because it uses the tummy muscles. I have awful shoulder pain. Actually, it hurts worse than any of the incisions. Nothing really seems to help ease the pain. This is not fun! I am choosing to believe that each and every day will be getting better, and I am looking forward to tomorrow. :shocked: April total - 15lbs. 5/2/06 (12 days post op) 273 lbs.- begin mushies total wt loss- 15 lbs. :thumbsup: Mushies aren't so bad, though I have read that others have struggled with this phase. I am not really that hungry. I can eat about a cup of food, but they ARE mushies. I do miss being able to "crunch" foods. The incisions itch like crazy. I know this is part of the healing, but I wonder if I am allergic to the tape, the steri strips, or something else? It does seem to be worse when I am hot. It almost drives me crazy, but I am afraid I'll rip my incision open if I keep scratching. Even with the itching, I am sure I have done the right thing. I love my band!:Banane28: 5/16/06 (4 wk check-up) - wt loss 4 1/2 lbs. (268 1/2 lbs.)- start regular diet The first solid food was tuna salad. I was immediately stuck. Oh the pain! It lasted about 20 minutes, before I finally got "unstuck". Think smaller bites, Kim! I am also having an awful time with Ketosis. My breath is beyond foul. I brush, I floss, I brush my tongue, I eat breath mints, I gargle, but NOTHING HELPS. To make matters worse, I smell bad. I smell like I need a good shower. Even after I take a shower, I feel like I still smell bad. I scrub, I buff, I use deodorant soap, and I STILL smell bad. The smell is stuck on my skin. My face feels like someone smeared cooking oil on it. In fact, my whole body feels oily, and I have always had DRY SKIN. My hair is greasy. I'm a mess! I know that this too will pass, but right now it's pretty gross. I am trying to drink more water, and eat more proteins. total loss- 19 1/2 lbs. :bathbaby: I need to focus on good things. I am so proud of myself. One half pound shy of 20 pounds that are GONE FOREVER. 5/30/06 (6 wk check-up) - wt loss 4 1/2 lbs. (264 lbs.) Dr. says not to return until 2 wks without wt loss. He will schedule fill at that time. Bring food diary when I come for first fill. My port is still sore. It's not painful (unless I lift something heavy), but it often hurts. total loss- 23 1/2 lbs. (9 pounds total for May) 6/13/06 (8 wks post-op) - still no fill - down 4 lbs. to 260 total loss- 28 lbs. :biggrin: I am learning what I can and what I can not eat. I can eat steak(which is a surprise). I can not eat chicken. I can not eat soft bread. I can not eat fresh green beans. I love and miss the chicken and bread. This is really a bummer. But I need to stay focused on what I can eat. No turning back now. :hurray: 6/20/06 (9 weeks post-op) lost 2lbs. Current wt. 258 total loss - 30 lbs. :thumbsup: (6 pds. total for June) My port is right at the waistband of my pants. I have made the correlation between port pain and semi-tight elastic. I can feel it if it rubs. My pants don't even have to be tight. It has everything to do with where the waistband hits. Twice now the pain went away as soon as I took off my pants. :idea: June total lost- 6 lbs. 7/3/06 (11 weeks) down 2 pounds to 256. (only 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks) Total loss 32 pounds! - I've been struggling! I have NO restriction, so I knew it was time for my first fill! Yuck! It hurts! I found out I have an "Inamed" brand band, 10cm size (average). The first fill is usually 2 cc's - which is what I got! I'm back on track and so far, so good! I can feel restriction and I am eating less. Dr says next fill is going to be under xray so that he can check up on things and look at the band. He is very very pleased with my progress. He said the first year goal is 30% loss, 20% the second and 20% the third years. I am already at 23% loss after the first 3 months, so I should be able to make the 30% goal very easily! :yesnod: 7/10/06- wk. 12 - wt. 253 (down 3 lbs.) I have more restriction than before, but not enough. Let's see how it goes! I am having some problems with gas. This is a new issue. How embarrassing! Sometimes I'm so loud. I also have constipation. That is a much easier problem to take care of. Occasional gas is a small price to pay for losing 35 pounds. :behindsofa: April 15, 2006 - 288 lbs. July 1, 2006 - 256 lbs. Sept. 28, 2006 - 234 lbs. Jan. 20, 2007 - 224 lbs. April 14, 2007 - 214 lbs. Oct. 18, 2007 - 181 lbs. 7/18/06 - wk. 13 - 252 (1 pound). Well, hubby now says he can notice the weight loss. I catch him looking at me. I think he likes what he's seeing! He's now working out harder than before. I have virtually no restriction to speak of. Wt is coming off at about a pound a week. I guess that's ok. Could be better though. So slooowww. Lord, I need patience! :cryin: 7/25/06 - wk. 14 - 251 (1 pound) Not too bad considering we ate out alot this week. I have more restriction now, and I'm not real sure why. I guess I'm just glad I do have some! Thirty seven pounds gone forever! My clothes are getting loose now, and I can see the weight loss in my face. It's a bummer though that no one has noticed or said anything about the fact that I'm losing weight. Well, that's not totally true. The mail lady saw me and said something. God bless her! She'll never know how much I needed that little boost. (7 pounds total for July) :clap: 8/1/06- 2nd fill- lots of restriction! I did a dumb thing. I got a fill, then left the next day for vacation in Mexico. I could have really been in trouble if I would have needed an unfill. Not real smart, Kim! I think my restriction is worse because of flying. I can't eat much at all, a few bites here and there. I'm sad that I can't eat all the delicious vacation food, but I'm also happy that my band is slowing me down from eating all the delicious vacation food, otherwise I'd overeat, just because it's there. I wish I had more self control. I wish food wasn't such an "issue" for me. I am so happy to have my band. I have to focus on SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR :boom: August total lost- 9 lbs. 9/7/06- 241 (10 pounds) 44 days since last weight check that's 10 pounds in 6 weeks. I'm going slow, but at least it's steady! Embarrassing moment- I was at the church picnic and got "stuck". I fought it, and kept swallowing (very bad move). Finally I could stand it no longer, but when I headed for the ladies room, the line was huge. I ran around the back of the building just in time. I pb'ed a HUGE amount of nasty, stringy mucus right there in the grass. I kept praying that no one would walk by and find me retching mucus in the grass. My eyes were watering, and I had strings coming out of both my nose and mouth. Of course, not a tissue in sight. Oh, how awful. Definitely a LOW moment. :puke: 10/26/06 - 230 (11 pounds) 49 days since last weight. Losing at about the same rate. Seven weeks exactly. That's still about 10 pounds per six weeks. That's still slow and steady. I have noticed that my band becomes tight or loose, depending on my monthly cycle. I guess it has to do with fluids and/ or swelling. I sure can tell a difference though just from week to week. :target: 11/13/06- 230 (0 pounds lost) Frustrating! Time for another fill? Not sure what's up! I am struggling with finding things in my wardrobe that will fit. Everything I wear is huge on me. I did break down and bought a couple pairs of winter pants. I know they won't fit by next fall, but I really needed the clothes. I got an inexpensive black blazer, a pair of black pants and a pair of jeans. I can change the look of the blazer with different shirts and scarfs. I noticed that even my black loafers from last year are sloppy on me. So I guess that means I've lost weight in my feet? :confused5: 11/22/06- 228 (2 pounds lost) Finally, the scale moved! I've got to watch the desserts!!!!!!! Oh that darn sweet tooth. That makes only 2 pounds lost in the last 27 days. I've got to do better than this!:lost2lbs: 11/29/06- 227 (1 pound) Still lost weight, and got through Thanksgiving Yeaaa!!!! :biggrin3: September, October and November total loss- 15 lbs. 12/6/06 - 226 (1 pound) Slow, but still losing. Bought boots that fit over my calf and a XL Christmas dress. I can't even remember the last time I owned a pair of boots. I was looking at them, wishing like always that I could buy a pair, and in a moment of abandon I slipped off my shoe and slid on the boot. It went over my calf with ease. I got all filled up right there in the Walmart! I floated on a cloud the rest of the day. I can't wait to get dressed up and surprise hubby! I know he's going to love them! It's all really starting to pay off! One pound a week isn't the best, but I'm happy with it, especially in winter. :rolleyes5: 12/13/06- 225 (1 pound) It's been a hungry week. Too much Christmas junk food in the house and lots of "teenage drama" going on makes me want to run to the pantry. I have to learn to control the emotional eating. That's really been hard for me. It's not something the band can do for me. It's not even because I'm hungry. It's all about self control. I'm feeding myself to comfort myself. Stuffing food to stuff down the emotions. Christmas can be such a stressful time with so many different emotions. I am trying so hard to stay on track! Different businesses keep sending goodies and gift baskets to my husband's company. We've gotten TONS of cookies, candy, nuts, cocoas, cheeses, oh the list goes on and on..... I keep giving it away and more seems to grow in it's place. :mad3: 12/20/06- 224 (1 pound) Lots of Christmas goodies! Oh the temptations. I've started doing a little bit of reading about tummy tucks, breast lifts, arm skin reduction etc. It scares the bejeebees out of me. It looks so painful. I think it's so much more involved than the actual lap band surgery. I'm not sure what I will need, but the arms and tummy are sagging already. It doesn't look awful yet, but I still have such a long way to go. :svengo: December weight loss= 3 lbs. 1/19/07- 224 (same) back on track. I didn't lose over Christmas, and in fact, I really didn't gain. I just stayed the same weight. Time to clean out the pantry and get serious. I have really been noticing portion size. I see for the first time how much food restaurants consider to be a "portion". It wasn't so long ago that I could eat an appetizer, bread, and a cocktail, a salad, an entrée with sides, coffee and dessert. When they bring my plate now I just stare in disbelief at all the food. It's enough to feed me for days! Waiters always ask if something is wrong with the food because I don't eat much of it. I have just learned to ask for a box to take the leftovers home. Sometimes I can eat the leftovers, but sometimes they are just too dry to get down on the second day. :lightbulb: 1/20/07- Yes, the band is working. I am not losing as fast as some people on the boards, but I AM losing. The non-scale victories continue to amaze me each day. * I fit in the regular stall in public restrooms now. * I don't get stuck in chairs that have arms anymore. * I don't need a seat belt extender anymore on airplanes. *I can sit on a folding chair without being afraid it won't hold my weight. * I fit in the bucket seat of my little car. * My Henderson wetsuit ALMOST fits. Just a couple more pounds and it will look great! * I weigh less than the weight listed on my driver's license. I see all these victories, yet I still continue to think like a large person. My mind hasn't caught up with my body. * Until recently, I was still ordering large size portions without thinking. * Sometimes I forget to chew, chew, chew. Then I end up PBing for a half hour. * I still crave sweets. * I still hate to exercise. Though I don't like to admit it, I really hate... * that some of my favorite clothes no longer fit. * that I can't eat what I want. * that I have lost about half of my hair * PBing in a filthy public toilet. * Losing my boobies. * The sagging tummy skin * the scars from my incisions No weight lost in January 2/06/07- (224.9) This is my weight and stats according to Dr. Averbach and his magic scale. According to his records I have lost 63.5 pounds. I have a 10 cm band filled 3.2cc. This is my third fill. I know that each fill is supposed to be half of the size of the last fill. The maximum fill is 4cc. February weight loss 4lbs. 3/2/07 (220) (24 days) Yay! Not much restriction, but at least I'm losing! Thank you, Lord! :thumbup: 3/26/07 (216) (24 days) Four pounds! Yea! I'm working much harder these days. I HAVE to get into my gown for my daughter's wedding. If it doesn't look right, it will be no one's fault but my own. March weight loss- 4 lbs. 4/5/07 (214) (10 days) I lost 2 pounds. Only nine days until the wedding! I tried on my gown, and I can't believe the girl staring back at me in the mirror. Who is she? What a life-changing year this has been. I feel so blessed to have been given this chance.:rose: 4/15/07- (One day after the wedding) How can one three letter word have so much power? I finished dressing yesterday and came out to show my husband my dress. He just stood there frozen, eyes wide, staring at me, and for a few seconds I thought he didn't like my dress. And then, all he said was "wow". But it wasn't just "wow", it was more like "WOW", and in that moment his eyes said it all. The pain of the surgery, the fills, the pb'ing, in that moment it all became sooo worth it! It was one of those "heart moments" I'll always treasure, and NEVER forget. In the light of his eyes, I could see that he was so very proud of me! And you know what else? I AM SO VERY PROUD OF ME TOO! Underneath the ugly, fat duckling, just maybe there IS a beautiful swan fighting to get out. And the wedding...well, it was perfect! My sweet baby girl looked like a princess. She is SO happy, and so in love. Oh yeah, and the wedding pictures that will be on my mantle WILL BE GREAT! How far I have come in just ONE year! :heart: April weight loss- 2 lbs. May weight loss- 1 lb. gained :eek: 6/19/07 (215.3) (6 wks) I've yo-yo'ed between 213-216 for the past 6 weeks. I have no restriction. I went and saw Dr. Averbach today for my 4th fill. Both he and Cathy Carr continue to say I'm doing great, though the last few months have been so slow. He added 1/2 cc. That means I have 3.7 cc in my band. Wow! Do I have restriction now! I think I'm too tight, but I want to work with it for awhile and see how it goes. After more than 1 year I can finally say I have restriction. I now understand some of the things they were saying, like don't drink for 1/2 hour before eating. I've never had to worry about this before. I could always drink. Well, there is no doubt that I'll be losing weight again real soon! I am going to the store for protein shakes today. I can comfortably eat about 2 tablespoons of food. I really need to watch my fluid intake. I don't want to dehydrate. I know I can get into trouble real fast here if I'm not careful. I also put a styrofoam cup and extra napkins in my car in case I have to pb while I am out somewhere :driving: 6/25/07 (209) What a bummer day. I had been out all morning, it was HOT outside and I was waiting at the car wash. It was 1pm and I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten all day. I was so tight early this morning. They sell ice cream kiddie cups at the car wash. I KNOW I shouldn't have bought and ate one, but well, I just caved and sat there minding my own business, eating my kiddie cup. A lady came in and sat beside me. She had a bag of cookies and offered one to the man on her right. They chatted for a minute, then she turned to me and said loudly "I'd offer YOU one, but I see you're already having your treat for the day and I don't want to be an enabler". OUCH! How does one respond to something like that? I was shocked, angry, and embarrassed. Chalk up one more painful comment to add to the list. Why are some people so cruel? I just sat there and thought "lady, you don't have a clue!" It really took the wind out of my sails, because I've been so proud of my appearance lately. Yes, I still have a long way to go, but LOOK HOW FAR I'VE COME. Ewwwww, I get soooo mad, but I won't give up my power to someone who hasn't got a clue about my life. :cuss: 6/27/07 (208)(8 days) Well, 7.3 pounds this week. Yup, I've got restriction. I've spent the last week forcing fluids and pb'ing. Yuck! I have loosened up a little bit, but not enough yet. I have to be careful here. I'm not used to having to chew, chew chew. On Sunday I got a bean stuck and it tortured me all afternoon. I'm relearning more everyday. Is this worth it? Right now, yes, but darn is this hard. :hurt: June weight loss- 7 lbs. 7/2/07 (205) (6 days) 3 pounds since last weight check. Whoever says this is the easy way out doesn't have a clue. I'm learning to work with the restriction, but it's not been easy. I am very limited in what I can eat. Even taking my pills takes most of the morning. The evening loosens the band up quite a bit, but bites have to be smaller than the nail on my baby finger. Anything more gets stuck. It takes forever to eat 1/4 cup. I think about fluid intake all the time. I watch my urine for signs that I'm not drinking enough (dark yellow vs. clear). I've read about banded people dehydrating and ending up in the hospital. I can't have that happen. I want to hold on and lose this weight. I feel I'm getting closer everyday. No turning back now. I have to keep focused on positive things. Hmmm, here's a positive... hubby says I am getting much more "flexible". HeHeHe :blush2: 7/11/07 (203) (9 days since last entry) 2 pounds since last weight check. I am so glad I stuck it out and didn't get an unfill. The restriction has loosened up quite a bit. While it's true that I'm still very tight, I can eat much better now. I am back in ketosis again. I hate ketosis. My skin and hair are oily and my breath is awful! I am hoping it gets better now that I can eat and drink more. I have a new non-scale victory. My size 18 pants are starting to get loose on me. It's almost time to say goodbye to Lane Bryant! :lol2: 7/18/07 - (201) Leaving for vacation tomorrow. :thumbup: 7/27/07- (203) Returned from a great diving vacation in Mexico. My new wet suit worked out great, though I do seem to get cold much faster these days. I guess I really don't have the body fat that I used to have. I do need to get a new bcd soon, as my old one is falling off me now. I always use extra weight in Mexico, because the water is very salty there. Still, I am down to using 18 pounds. Pretty darn good! Bummer- I gained two pounds on vacation, but I do love the food there! Opps! :mad3: Total loss for July is 3 pounds. I lost 5, but gained back two. :mad: 8/6/07 (199) Well, vacation was a set-back, but I got back on track, and lost the weight I gained. Today was the big RED LETTER DAY I've waited so long for. Today I hit 199 pounds. I am finally in "Onederland". I haven't been at this weight for so many years! It feels GREAT! :clap2: 8/9/07 (198) I'm doing alot of swimming. It really makes a difference, and it certainly is an exercise I enjoy. Yesterday I ate one of Josh's french fries from McDonald's and immediately became stuck. I am still sore and I hurt today. No solids for another day or so! :sad: 8/27/07 (196)(Monday) Last Wednesday I threw up after dinner. I guess I became irritated, and threw up again on Thursday at the party. Then on Friday night I threw up the tomato soup I had for dinner. Saturday and Sunday I couldn't keep down any fluids and by today (Monday) I was seriously dehydrated. I went into St. Agnes. Dr Averbach met me there. I had three bags of i.v. fluids, and he removed the fluids from my band. I am wide open with no restriction now. I have to be this way for 2 weeks while my tummy heals. I have been worried this would happen. I thank God that the band didn't slip or erode. I was so worried that I had done something to it. I feel awful. I really think I might have something gastric going on. :puke: September 11, 2007- (lbs.) Well, I've gained a few pounds. No surprise! I've had no restriction since the band has been wide open. The worst part is that all the old cravings and obsessions have returned. I think about food alot, and crave certain things relentlessly. I saw Dr. Averbach today, and he agreed to a re-fill. He only filled me to 2.5. I use to be 3.7 with a maximum of 4.0, so I have lots of room for more fills. I am really tight. This surprises me, but I guess it's a good thing. It feels good to get back on track. It feels good to be back in control of "me" again. :rolleyes2: Sept. 24, '07- (194 lbs) I lost the weight I gained while I was unfilled, plus 2 extra pounds, so I am definitely back on track. My next big goal is to be down 100 pounds. I only have 6 pounds to lose to make this goal. I know I can do it! :biggrin2: Sept 26, '07- (192 lbs.) I'm down two more pounds! Now I only have four pounds to go! Wow! I am so excited! :Dancing_biggrin: October 2, '07 (187lbs.) Well, I did it! I'm down 100 pounds. I keep looking at the scale in disbelief. I have waited so long for this day. So much has changed for me in the last 18 months. No more staring. No more mean and hurtful comments. No more fears about chairs that might break or places that I might not fit. I am in-between sizes. I think I am somewhere between a 14 and a 16. I really want to be a 12, so I still have a long way to go, but look how far I've come! I love my band! :party: Oct.3,'07- Last night I went to my son's school for a function. I saw several moms there that I haven't seen since winter/spring. For the 3rd time now, someone didn't recognize me. I am getting comments all the time now, and I have to admit, it feels great! I get the feeling that everyone thought I would start to gain again after the wedding. I do feel self-conscious when I eat in front of others. I always feel like others are watching me. I'm not sure what they are thinking, but I just know I'm being watched. :rolleyes5: Oct. 9, '07- (184) I've been losing weight too fast. I have reflux at night, and I am having trouble with solid foods. I needed an unfill. I went to see Dr. Averbach today. I had been filled to 2.5 cc's. When he removed the fluid, there was just 2.0 cc's in the band, so he took me down to 1.6 cc's. I got relief almost instantly, and the nausea went away. I need a few days to make sure this is the correct fill. if not, I'll go back for another adjustment. Now I need to eat and drink and build up my body again. I have been so tired, and I haven't felt like doing much of anything. Yesterday I had to return something at the store before the 30 days was up. I looked around while I was there, since I have NO pants that fit. I tried on 3 pairs. I am a perfect size 14 pants. Wow!!!!!! I have said all along that I would be thrilled if I could ever get into a 14. That has always been a goal. Well, I made the goal in 1 1/2 years. I stood in the dressing room and just stared in disbelief. I just savored the moment. It's been so many years since I've been at this weight. Life is great!!!! :hurray: 10/15/07- (pounds) Well, I didn't lose anything this week, but I've been trying hard to rebuild my body. I really needed food and fluids. I have been tired with NO energy. It's an effort to do anything. I was also in Ketosis again. I HATE the oily skin and stinky breath. I've been pushing the proteins and I should be ok any day now. I spent the weekend cleaning out my closet. I had ONE winter shirt that fit! I had no casual clothes. Even my shoes are huge. I am walking out of my loafers. It's also time for new unders. Everything is BAGGY. On Saturday hubby took me to Coldwater Creek to get me some new things. I have seen their catalog, but I've never been in the store before. Oh my gosh, the clothes are beautiful! I found out I am a size 14 pants, and a 12-14 top and jacket. As I tried on things I felt so stylish. The salesgirls are so nice in there. They kept asking what size I needed, what pieces I needed for my wardrobe. I'm thinking umm, I need everything, and I don't have a clue what size I am. I just stood in front of the mirror with tears in my eyes. Finally I had to confess to the saleslady about my journey. I don't know what the latest fashion is, or my size, and I've never been in a store like this, let alone know what "cut" of pants I need. I was so happy that they were such kind and understanding women. I really got some pretty things. I was wiped out that night. Hubby has no clue just how overwhelming the day was. Oh yeah, and on Sunday I looked awesome for church. :success1: Oct. 29,'07- 178 (lost 110 pounds) Well, I am still too tight. I go Wednesday the 31st for another unfill. I have 1.6 cc and I still can't get most solid foods down. I have heartburn and reflux all night long. I am not sleeping well, since I sleep sitting up. It's getting old quickly. We leave Sunday for Puerto Rico, and I know I can't go this overfilled. I get tight when I fly anyway. If I flew as tight as I am now, I wouldn't even be able to get water down. I am confused as to why this is happening, but I have to get it right. It's going to take awhile to pack for this trip, because none of my summer clothes fit anymore. I just made them work at the end of the summer, knowing that I would buy new fall things, but I totally forgot about that I would need summer things a few different times this winter. Maybe I can take a few things in... Hmm It took 110 pounds, but now everyone comments to me all the time now about my weight loss. It feels good. I can't tell you how many people say dumb stuff about not loosing any more because I look perfect now. I just tell them we'll see how it goes... :scales: Oct.31, '07 - I went back to see the doctor about an unfill. He told me I had 1.6 in the band, but when he withdrew the fluid, I really had 2.0. I guess he "found" .4 of the "missing" .5cc's he "lost" back on October 9th. He was going to empty the band, but I ask him not to. He took me back to 1.0cc's. I have no restriction at all. I am not going to worry about it for now. We leave in a few days for vacation, and I'm always tight after I fly. I don't want to be so tight that I can't even drink water. I'll wait till I get back and then I'll deal with it. My guess is that I need 1.5 . The fill was very painful. It took countless times before he was able to access the port. Finally, he threw away the needle, and got a new one. The new needle went in the very first time, so the needle he was using was bent and defective. OUCH!!!! :cursing: November 13, '07- (184) Wow! I really gained on vacation. We had an awesome time, and the food was great, but now it's time to pay the piper. My dive suit fit great, and I am down to using 16 pounds of weight. Before surgery, I was using 21 lbs. of weight, I've been able to eliminate 5 whole pounds from my BCD. Awesome!!!! I went to see Dr. Averbach today, and he filled me to 1.5 . We'll see how it goes. I know when I went in for my unfill in October that I was was dehydrated. I knew I would gain a couple of pounds right away because I hadn't eaten. I figured my set weight was somewhere around 180 when we left for vacation, so that means I gained 4 pounds in Puerto Rico. See, this is life without any restriction. Once again it proves that I can't live without my band. The old cravings and obsessions come flooding back almost instantly when I am not filled. I am so glad to have this new fill. Now, I'll get back on track. :wink: Tues. November 20 - (181) Well, I lost three pounds fairly effortlessly. I'm getting back to where I was before vacation. Thanksgiving is this Thursday. I will be happy if I can just maintain the weight I am at now. :confused_smile: Monday Nov.26, '07- (178) Well, I made it back to where I was, and I got through Thanksgiving. Now I just need to maintain. I thought it would be easy since Thanksgiving is over, but noooooo, hubby decided since we had dinner at his mom's house that he wanted US to have a big Thanksgiving dinner. I cooked all day, and now the fridge is full of LEFTOVERS. It's hard to have all the "favorites" right there, staring at me each time I open the fridge door. On a positive note, my restriction is MUCH better. I'm at a good place right now, and that helps me to not overeat. Even if I eat more than I should, that translates to a couple extra tablespoons, and not plate after heaping plate of food. I had small "tastes" of everything. I will be so happy to get through the holiday "food fests" though. :biggrin1: Since late summer, I have had a new "issue". I am ALWAYS cold. Not just chilly, I mean COLD. At first it was funny, and hubby joked, but now that the cold weather is here, I am cold all the time. Hubby says that I just don't have the body fat anymore, but I wonder if something more is going on. Hmmmm...:smokin: December 1,'07- (177) (Down one pound) Hubby told me that I could have some new clothes for Christmas. I needed a winter coat since mine was a 3x. It was HUGE on me. I also needed some shoes. I have gone from a size 10 to a size 9. I had been stuffing the toes of my shoes with tissue so that they wouldn't come off when I walked. It feels good to have shoes that fit, and my new coat is nice and warm, and stylish too. I love the pair of Coldwater Creek jeans I got in mid October. Hubby likes them too, and he told me to go get a couple more. I also found a nice Christmas outfit. I tried on a pretty jacket and the "large" was too big. The nice saleslady said she would bring me back a "medium" to try. While I was waiting, I tried on the jeans. The size 12 fit great. I stood there looking into the mirror in disbelief. I've always said I would be happy if I could get down to a size 14, and I would be deliriously happy if I could ever be a 12. Well, here I stood wearing the size 12. I may not have attained my doctor's goal yet, but I sure made my personal goal. I started to fill up, right there in the dressing room. Then the saleslady came back and called my name. As she walked toward the dressing room she said very loudly "I have your size MEDIUM" and opened the door to hand it in to me. My head began to swirl. My size MEDIUM? MY size medium? Oh my gosh, she's really talking to me! I wear a SIZE MEDIUM. I just burst into tears right then and there. The saleslady's eyes got wide, and she said "Are you alright, honey?" All I could get out was "I wear a size 12". She thought I was upset because I had to buy a size 12 (because I had gained weight or something). She tripped over her words, and said something about how nice they fit me and how good they looked on me, and not to be upset. For so many years I have wanted to be a size 12, but it was always just a pipe dream. I never ever dared to dream that this day would come! Just 19 1/2 months ago the saleslady would have said in a loud voice "I have your size 26", and I would have cringed in embarrassment. I quickly explained, and my nice saleslady looked relieved. I guess she thought I was a nut case or something. Every day brings new wonders and experiences. I feel as though I have been born again into a new body and a new life. Dec. 17th, 2007- I have been yo-yoing between 177-178. I think I might need a very, very small fill. I also need to stop eating the sweets and Christmas goodies. Hmmm, easier said than done. I haven't been too bad, but I need to get off this plateau :bored: Dec 23rd, 2007- This is from something I posted here on the boards. I wanted to include it in my diary. It was from a thread called "Keeping It (your band) A Secret" I was banded 20 months ago (size 26), and chose to tell very few people. After the first 50 pounds, everyone began to ask what diet I was using. My standard answer was "The My Daughter's Getting Married And I'm In The Pictures Diet." Everyone would chuckle, and empathize regardless of their size. It was a great way to deflect uncomfortable questions and turn their attention elsewhere. Well, the wedding was this past April. By then I was down 74 pounds (size 18). I was not yet at goal (I'm still not), but I was well on my way. In the past few weeks I have seen a number of people at Christmas parties that I had not seen since the wedding. I am now a size 12, and down 110 pounds. While I admit I HAVE received many nice complements, you would not believe the things others have said to me. I heard "Don't you dare lose any more weight, you're perfect right now." Huh? Isn't that for me and my doctor to decide? Two different people said "I thought you'd start to gain again after the wedding, but gee, you lost more". Wow, I think there's a compliment in there somewhere. One women watched me like a hawk at dinner last night to see what and how much I was eating. She even called to me from across the long banquet table to ask me what I was ordering for dinner. It was so uncomfortable. As I left the party, two said something along the lines of "you look great, now don't start gaining it back again!". Hmmm, don't lose weight. Don't gain weight. Everyone's got unsolicited advise and opinions for me whether I told them about my surgery or not. I don't think their comments were meant to be mean spirited. The fact is, some people just say what others may be thinking, but are afraid to say. I know now that some people who were supportive of my weight loss still expect that I will gain the weight back. My point is, deciding who to tell, and what to say or not say about your surgery is one of the decisions you have to make early on. But the truth is, in the end it doesn't really matter whether they know or not. Because of the dramatic changes in your weight, they WILL comment to you and about you, offering you their unsolicited advise and opinions. I guess shortgal's comments are right "We have been judged our whole life and then we do this and we will still be judged.... for not losing fast enough, or losing too much, or eating too much, or not eating enough!". Sadly, sometimes this happens whether you have chosen to share your WLS journey with others or not. January 10, 2008- (281) Well, as always, I am paying for my abandon at vacation. I gained weight. I just don't do well when I am away. I do so much better when I can jump on a scale everyday. I think I just have to physically SEE the numbers on the scale. I've had pretty loose restriction and I need a small fill. I called for an appointment, but the office was closed. I'll call again tomorrow. I am chairperson for the fashion show fundraiser at my son's school. At the meeting Tuesday night we were discussing retailers that are loaning us clothes for the show. I ask why Lexington Lady hadn't been included in the list of stores (the large woman's store). The head of fashions committee ( a small lady) said that Vassares told her that they could accommodate all sizes, so we really didn't need a plus size store on our list. I know for a fact that some of our mom models are plus size, so I told her "no, Vassares only carries smaller sizes" and that I knew this because I had to special order my gown for my daughter's wedding last spring (they had NO plus sizes). I wasn't even thinking when I said it. It just kind-of tumbled out. One lady spoke up and said that if Vassares didn't have a gown that fit me, then they wouldn't have a gown that would fit anyone there at the meeting. Oh my gosh! What did I just say? I opened my big mouth. These women don't know me. They don't know my story, and they sure don't know that I was a size 18 last spring, let alone a size 26 only 20 months ago. All they see now is the size 12 lady standing there in front of them. I blushed (I could feel the color burn in my cheeks). I stammered and stumbled over my words. I just wanted to disappear. I remember choking out something about losing alot of weight. I ask the chairperson to please get clarification as to EXACTLY what size Vassares went up to, then I sat down quickly. The room was quiet and all eyes were on me. It was an awful, awkward moment. Why do I ALWAYS forget I am thinner now? I still feel anxious waiting in line for a public bathroom. :confused2: I ALWAYS forget that I fit in the stall now. I was uncomfortable on the airplane because I didn't want to use the restroom. I was afraid the stall was too small. I know what my eyes see in the mirror, but my head just hasn't caught up with my body. It's the strangest thing. I STILL think I'm a big woman. Yet every day I see and experience new wonders. We were in Disney World with 8 teenagers last week. I kept pace with them! I can walk faster than my husband now. For the first time EVER, I had to wait for HIM to catch up with ME! I went shopping in the Disney store and I bought a Minnie sweatshirt. Disney clothes for women only go up to a 2x. The men's clothes are a size bigger. I wanted a Minnie shirt when we were there two years ago, but only the men's plus clothes fit me, so I only had a handful of choices to select from, and there was certainly nothing feminine in the men's clothing line. Well, now I am the proud owner of a PINK MINNIE zip-up sweatshirt. It's a little thing, I know, but it just makes me sooo happy. Yup, it's the little things in life that bring me such joy these days. I walked the dog this morning, and he started to run uphill to get back to the house (he was cold). I started running too, and I ran all the way up the hill. Oh my gosh, last year I could barely WALK up that hill without puffing and blowing. The same thing happens when I run up the steps in my house. No more stopping at the top step to get my breath. It's really not that I am in good shape now, (nothing could be farther from the truth) but my heart doesn't feel like it's about to beat out of my chest anymore, so I think it's not as stressed as it was, and it certainly doesn't have to work as hard as it use to. Yup, it's all the little things. :Banane57: I am sooo blessed! January 15th, 2008 (281) Well, I gained weight over the holidays and vacation. No great surprise there. I am not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to move on and start fresh. I got my fill today. I was filled to 1.5cc. Now I am filled to 2.0. The doctor had no problem with filling me the half cc. In fact, he said that 2cc. is the beginning fill that he does for this size band. I guess that means that 21 months out, I just now have the "average" beginning fill. That's pretty cool because it gives me lots of room for more fills, should I need them. I do have more restriction now. I will give it a month and see how I do. My restriction always depends on the "time of the month". I've had a partial hysterectomy, so I'm never sure what point of my cycle I'm at. I'm ready to get serious again and get the rest of the weight off. I can accept it if I don't lose any more. I've met my personal goals, but I really would like to try to get to my goal weight. I tried on a sweater from Target today and the size large was too small for me. I guess I needed a xl in that sweater. My thinking is that I must have gotten it from the junior department. I think the junior department is a full size smaller than the regular ladies department. I would like to be able to buy things from ANY department. I'm going to give it my best shot. Dr Averbach is thrilled with my weight loss. He said I was the "highest percentage of weight lost" patient he's had. I was very surprised. I read about people every day on the boards who have made it to goal and beyond. I know this is "do-able".:cheated: January 17th, 2008 (280) I wanted to write about my relationship with my husband. I've had a great marriage for 28 years to an awesome man. We were both thin when we married, and both became obese. My husband has always told me he finds me sexy, no matter what I weigh. I am very thankful for that. Initially, he was very nervous about the safety of the procedure and needed some heavy duty convincing. He has been very supportive of me since day one. I see a new excitement in him since the weight has come off. Though we haven't talked about it, I am sure he finds me more attractive. He has taken me out shopping several times, and LOVES it when I am dressed up and on his arm. He loves it when his guy buddies make comments about his "hot woman". He tells me all the time how beautiful I am. I have joked to my girlfriends that I have become my own "second wife" or mistress, because that is exactly the way he treats me now. It's so wonderful to have a man who loves me so much. :wub: Then there is the other side of the coin... I have seen some insecurity in him since I have lost the weight. Twice we have been out and other men have flirted with me. He is very aware that this happens now. I had a long talk with him last week, and he said he is insecure that I will no longer find him attractive because he has not lost HIS extra weight. I told him again that I would do anything he wanted to help and support him with his weight loss, but that I love him no matter what he weighs. I even talked to him about the lap band, but to date he has not been very receptive. He acknowledged that I do always tell him how sexy I find him, and that he sees how much I desire him. He tells me it's not my actions with him or other men that cause the insecurity. It's all in his mind. I have been trying harder to make him feel that he is the most wonderful, sexy man in the world (and he IS!). I am hoping this passes with time. I am careful to NEVER let my eye stray when we are out in public. I am trying harder to dote and fawn on him, and make him feel special. Beyond this, there's not much I can do. Why did I blog about this? I guess I've been thinking that if these issues come up in marriages that are not stressed, then what must happen with marriages that ARE under stress? I thought so hard about how the Lap Band surgery would affect me, but I never thought about it would change relationships and affect the whole family. My children will never be teased again about their "fat" mother. My husband has his "new" wife, and new insecurities. My sister-in-law has been acting jealous lately. My aunt has been critical, and thinks I should have tried the South Beach diet. Yup, Lap Band changes family dynamics! :tt1: 1/17/08 Since there is so much confusion about the different kinds of bands, I did some research. Here's what I found out... The brand name of Lap Bands use in the United States use to be called BioEnterics bands. The company sold out and now they are known as Inamed and/or Allergan brand bands. The size of your band (it's length) is measured in centimeters (cm) The fill capacity of your band is measured in milliliters (ml or the more commonly used abbreviation cc). The manufacturer's recommended fill capacity is NOT always followed by all doctors! There are 5 sizes of Inamed and /or Allergan bands. Three are the "older style" and two are the newer style bands. Each has a different length and fill capacity. The Older Style (Allergan has no current plans to discontinue these bands) length / capacity 1. 9.75cm/4cc 2. 10cm/4cc 3. 14cm/10cc (can be pushed to 11 cc) (this is called the Vanguard or VG band) Newer Style (next generation) Bands: (I am unsure of the length on these) 4. APS (small) holds 10cc 5. APL (large) holds 14cc The newer style bands are considered less likely to cause blockage, obstruction, erosion or slippage than other AGP types. The bands are curved, and are made of a new softer silicone material. Like the VG (Vanguard) band, the new bands are "Omniform" technology - i.e. the balloon has ribs or baffles , and is pleated to grip the stomach better. The new AP bands have more of a 360 (concentric, rounded) inflation around the stomach as opposed to the older 9.75cm and 10cm(4cc) bands, which have more like 260 or 280 degrees inflation (the rest being the buckle), and the VG band which has more like 280 or 300. It is understood that this was simply an upgrade to the existing band to make it easier and less traumatic to remove. The balloon on the new band goes all the way around the inner surface of the band, rather than missing a piece at the locking mechanism. The locking mechanism is isolated from the stomach. The balloon is wider on the new band. A side view shows the balloon protruding top & bottom rather than sitting flush. The new bands have an easier release mechanism to remove the band if need be.

The Journey My Initial Stats: Initial BMI 42.5 Ideal BMI 23 Initial Weight 288.4 Ideal Weight 156 Total amount of wt. I have to lose- 132 Height in inches 68 (5'8") Where I Am Today Current weight 178 Current BMI 27.1 total pounds I have lost - 110 total pounds I still need to lose - 22 percentage of wt. lost - 83.3% (total wt. lost divided by the total amount I have to lose- 132 pounds) The Motivation: Christmas 2005 My daughter is getting married! She wants a big wedding. I'm so excited for her, but all I keep thinking about are the wedding pictures forever sitting on the mantle, with my fat arms and chubby chipmunk cheeks staring back at me. How will find a "special" dress that will fit right? Gowns in the bridal salon only go up to a size 24, and I am now a solid size 26. Oh the pain, and the panic! They've set the date for April 14th, 2007, so I have 15 1/2 months! Mid January 06 - I read about Lap Band and begin to research. I can see from the start that I will have to be self pay because of small business group exclusion on my policy. Early February 06 - I call St. Agnes and get the low down on attending their information night. Dr. Averbach is the speaker, as is his nurse, Cathy Carr. I go home after the meeting and talk to hubby, and he is willing to lay out the money from savings, though he is very, very concerned about the band's safety. He makes me get an appointment with our family doctor/ friend and discuss this with him. I bring info and get the doctor's ok. In 28 years of marriage I have never ask my husband for anything of this magnitude. It's so much money! In moments when the low self esteem kicks in, that small voice inside tries to tell me that I am not worth it. But I'm fighting back, and yes, yes, YES I AM worth it. I want this band so bad! I understand clearly that this journey will take three years. I will not be "skinny" by the wedding, but I should be well on my way. I'm ok with that. This wedding is the push that I've needed. Late February 06 - the whirlwind has started. I need a psychological evaluation, a meeting with Cathy Carr, an evaluation with the nutritionist, a complete physical and blood work, and a meeting with the doctor. When all is said and done, I am scheduled for surgery four days after Easter- April 20th, 2006. The wedding is April 14th, 2007, so I have exactly ONE year. THE JOURNEY Here We Go....... My 'OFFICIAL" pre-op starting wt. is 288+ but I am sure I gained a few pounds (at least a couple) between my initial weigh-in and the actual surgery date! :svengo: 4/20/06- surgery date - The journey begins! 2 wks. of liquid diet (15 pds. total for April) The surgery was worse than I thought it would be. I expected to be down for a day or two. I still feel rough after a week. Getting into a sitting up or lying down positions are the worst because it uses the tummy muscles. I have awful shoulder pain. Actually, it hurts worse than any of the incisions. Nothing really seems to help ease the pain. This is not fun! I am choosing to believe that each and every day will be getting better, and I am looking forward to tomorrow. :shocked: April total - 15lbs. 5/2/06 (12 days post op) 273 lbs.- begin mushies total wt loss- 15 lbs. :thumbsup: Mushies aren't so bad, though I have read that others have struggled with this phase. I am not really that hungry. I can eat about a cup of food, but they ARE mushies. I do miss being able to "crunch" foods. The incisions itch like crazy. I know this is part of the healing, but I wonder if I am allergic to the tape, the steri strips, or something else? It does seem to be worse when I am hot. It almost drives me crazy, but I am afraid I'll rip my incision open if I keep scratching. Even with the itching, I am sure I have done the right thing. I love my band!:Banane28: 5/16/06 (4 wk check-up) - wt loss 4 1/2 lbs. (268 1/2 lbs.)- start regular diet The first solid food was tuna salad. I was immediately stuck. Oh the pain! It lasted about 20 minutes, before I finally got "unstuck". Think smaller bites, Kim! I am also having an awful time with Ketosis. My breath is beyond foul. I brush, I floss, I brush my tongue, I eat breath mints, I gargle, but NOTHING HELPS. To make matters worse, I smell bad. I smell like I need a good shower. Even after I take a shower, I feel like I still smell bad. I scrub, I buff, I use deodorant soap, and I STILL smell bad. The smell is stuck on my skin. My face feels like someone smeared cooking oil on it. In fact, my whole body feels oily, and I have always had DRY SKIN. My hair is greasy. I'm a mess! I know that this too will pass, but right now it's pretty gross. I am trying to drink more water, and eat more proteins. total loss- 19 1/2 lbs. :bathbaby: I need to focus on good things. I am so proud of myself. One half pound shy of 20 pounds that are GONE FOREVER. 5/30/06 (6 wk check-up) - wt loss 4 1/2 lbs. (264 lbs.) Dr. says not to return until 2 wks without wt loss. He will schedule fill at that time. Bring food diary when I come for first fill. My port is still sore. It's not painful (unless I lift something heavy), but it often hurts. total loss- 23 1/2 lbs. (9 pounds total for May) 6/13/06 (8 wks post-op) - still no fill - down 4 lbs. to 260 total loss- 28 lbs. :biggrin: I am learning what I can and what I can not eat. I can eat steak(which is a surprise). I can not eat chicken. I can not eat soft bread. I can not eat fresh green beans. I love and miss the chicken and bread. This is really a bummer. But I need to stay focused on what I can eat. No turning back now. :hurray: 6/20/06 (9 weeks post-op) lost 2lbs. Current wt. 258 total loss - 30 lbs. :thumbsup: (6 pds. total for June) My port is right at the waistband of my pants. I have made the correlation between port pain and semi-tight elastic. I can feel it if it rubs. My pants don't even have to be tight. It has everything to do with where the waistband hits. Twice now the pain went away as soon as I took off my pants. :idea: June total lost- 6 lbs. 7/3/06 (11 weeks) down 2 pounds to 256. (only 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks) Total loss 32 pounds! - I've been struggling! I have NO restriction, so I knew it was time for my first fill! Yuck! It hurts! I found out I have an "Inamed" brand band, 10cm size (average). The first fill is usually 2 cc's - which is what I got! I'm back on track and so far, so good! I can feel restriction and I am eating less. Dr says next fill is going to be under xray so that he can check up on things and look at the band. He is very very pleased with my progress. He said the first year goal is 30% loss, 20% the second and 20% the third years. I am already at 23% loss after the first 3 months, so I should be able to make the 30% goal very easily! :yesnod: 7/10/06- wk. 12 - wt. 253 (down 3 lbs.) I have more restriction than before, but not enough. Let's see how it goes! I am having some problems with gas. This is a new issue. How embarrassing! Sometimes I'm so loud. I also have constipation. That is a much easier problem to take care of. Occasional gas is a small price to pay for losing 35 pounds. :behindsofa: April 15, 2006 - 288 lbs. July 1, 2006 - 256 lbs. Sept. 28, 2006 - 234 lbs. Jan. 20, 2007 - 224 lbs. April 14, 2007 - 214 lbs. Oct. 18, 2007 - 181 lbs. 7/18/06 - wk. 13 - 252 (1 pound). Well, hubby now says he can notice the weight loss. I catch him looking at me. I think he likes what he's seeing! He's now working out harder than before. I have virtually no restriction to speak of. Wt is coming off at about a pound a week. I guess that's ok. Could be better though. So slooowww. Lord, I need patience! :cryin: 7/25/06 - wk. 14 - 251 (1 pound) Not too bad considering we ate out alot this week. I have more restriction now, and I'm not real sure why. I guess I'm just glad I do have some! Thirty seven pounds gone forever! My clothes are getting loose now, and I can see the weight loss in my face. It's a bummer though that no one has noticed or said anything about the fact that I'm losing weight. Well, that's not totally true. The mail lady saw me and said something. God bless her! She'll never know how much I needed that little boost. (7 pounds total for July) :clap: 8/1/06- 2nd fill- lots of restriction! I did a dumb thing. I got a fill, then left the next day for vacation in Mexico. I could have really been in trouble if I would have needed an unfill. Not real smart, Kim! I think my restriction is worse because of flying. I can't eat much at all, a few bites here and there. I'm sad that I can't eat all the delicious vacation food, but I'm also happy that my band is slowing me down from eating all the delicious vacation food, otherwise I'd overeat, just because it's there. I wish I had more self control. I wish food wasn't such an "issue" for me. I am so happy to have my band. I have to focus on SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR :boom: August total lost- 9 lbs. 9/7/06- 241 (10 pounds) 44 days since last weight check that's 10 pounds in 6 weeks. I'm going slow, but at least it's steady! Embarrassing moment- I was at the church picnic and got "stuck". I fought it, and kept swallowing (very bad move). Finally I could stand it no longer, but when I headed for the ladies room, the line was huge. I ran around the back of the building just in time. I pb'ed a HUGE amount of nasty, stringy mucus right there in the grass. I kept praying that no one would walk by and find me retching mucus in the grass. My eyes were watering, and I had strings coming out of both my nose and mouth. Of course, not a tissue in sight. Oh, how awful. Definitely a LOW moment. :puke: 10/26/06 - 230 (11 pounds) 49 days since last weight. Losing at about the same rate. Seven weeks exactly. That's still about 10 pounds per six weeks. That's still slow and steady. I have noticed that my band becomes tight or loose, depending on my monthly cycle. I guess it has to do with fluids and/ or swelling. I sure can tell a difference though just from week to week. :target: 11/13/06- 230 (0 pounds lost) Frustrating! Time for another fill? Not sure what's up! I am struggling with finding things in my wardrobe that will fit. Everything I wear is huge on me. I did break down and bought a couple pairs of winter pants. I know they won't fit by next fall, but I really needed the clothes. I got an inexpensive black blazer, a pair of black pants and a pair of jeans. I can change the look of the blazer with different shirts and scarfs. I noticed that even my black loafers from last year are sloppy on me. So I guess that means I've lost weight in my feet? :confused5: 11/22/06- 228 (2 pounds lost) Finally, the scale moved! I've got to watch the desserts!!!!!!! Oh that darn sweet tooth. That makes only 2 pounds lost in the last 27 days. I've got to do better than this!:lost2lbs: 11/29/06- 227 (1 pound) Still lost weight, and got through Thanksgiving Yeaaa!!!! :biggrin3: September, October and November total loss- 15 lbs. 12/6/06 - 226 (1 pound) Slow, but still losing. Bought boots that fit over my calf and a XL Christmas dress. I can't even remember the last time I owned a pair of boots. I was looking at them, wishing like always that I could buy a pair, and in a moment of abandon I slipped off my shoe and slid on the boot. It went over my calf with ease. I got all filled up right there in the Walmart! I floated on a cloud the rest of the day. I can't wait to get dressed up and surprise hubby! I know he's going to love them! It's all really starting to pay off! One pound a week isn't the best, but I'm happy with it, especially in winter. :rolleyes5: 12/13/06- 225 (1 pound) It's been a hungry week. Too much Christmas junk food in the house and lots of "teenage drama" going on makes me want to run to the pantry. I have to learn to control the emotional eating. That's really been hard for me. It's not something the band can do for me. It's not even because I'm hungry. It's all about self control. I'm feeding myself to comfort myself. Stuffing food to stuff down the emotions. Christmas can be such a stressful time with so many different emotions. I am trying so hard to stay on track! Different businesses keep sending goodies and gift baskets to my husband's company. We've gotten TONS of cookies, candy, nuts, cocoas, cheeses, oh the list goes on and on..... I keep giving it away and more seems to grow in it's place. :mad3: 12/20/06- 224 (1 pound) Lots of Christmas goodies! Oh the temptations. I've started doing a little bit of reading about tummy tucks, breast lifts, arm skin reduction etc. It scares the bejeebees out of me. It looks so painful. I think it's so much more involved than the actual lap band surgery. I'm not sure what I will need, but the arms and tummy are sagging already. It doesn't look awful yet, but I still have such a long way to go. :svengo: December weight loss= 3 lbs. 1/19/07- 224 (same) back on track. I didn't lose over Christmas, and in fact, I really didn't gain. I just stayed the same weight. Time to clean out the pantry and get serious. I have really been noticing portion size. I see for the first time how much food restaurants consider to be a "portion". It wasn't so long ago that I could eat an appetizer, bread, and a cocktail, a salad, an entrée with sides, coffee and dessert. When they bring my plate now I just stare in disbelief at all the food. It's enough to feed me for days! Waiters always ask if something is wrong with the food because I don't eat much of it. I have just learned to ask for a box to take the leftovers home. Sometimes I can eat the leftovers, but sometimes they are just too dry to get down on the second day. :lightbulb: 1/20/07- Yes, the band is working. I am not losing as fast as some people on the boards, but I AM losing. The non-scale victories continue to amaze me each day. * I fit in the regular stall in public restrooms now. * I don't get stuck in chairs that have arms anymore. * I don't need a seat belt extender anymore on airplanes. *I can sit on a folding chair without being afraid it won't hold my weight. * I fit in the bucket seat of my little car. * My Henderson wetsuit ALMOST fits. Just a couple more pounds and it will look great! * I weigh less than the weight listed on my driver's license. I see all these victories, yet I still continue to think like a large person. My mind hasn't caught up with my body. * Until recently, I was still ordering large size portions without thinking. * Sometimes I forget to chew, chew, chew. Then I end up PBing for a half hour. * I still crave sweets. * I still hate to exercise. Though I don't like to admit it, I really hate... * that some of my favorite clothes no longer fit. * that I can't eat what I want. * that I have lost about half of my hair * PBing in a filthy public toilet. * Losing my boobies. * The sagging tummy skin * the scars from my incisions No weight lost in January 2/06/07- (224.9) This is my weight and stats according to Dr. Averbach and his magic scale. According to his records I have lost 63.5 pounds. I have a 10 cm band filled 3.2cc. This is my third fill. I know that each fill is supposed to be half of the size of the last fill. The maximum fill is 4cc. February weight loss 4lbs. 3/2/07 (220) (24 days) Yay! Not much restriction, but at least I'm losing! Thank you, Lord! :thumbup: 3/26/07 (216) (24 days) Four pounds! Yea! I'm working much harder these days. I HAVE to get into my gown for my daughter's wedding. If it doesn't look right, it will be no one's fault but my own. March weight loss- 4 lbs. 4/5/07 (214) (10 days) I lost 2 pounds. Only nine days until the wedding! I tried on my gown, and I can't believe the girl staring back at me in the mirror. Who is she? What a life-changing year this has been. I feel so blessed to have been given this chance.:rose: 4/15/07- (One day after the wedding) How can one three letter word have so much power? I finished dressing yesterday and came out to show my husband my dress. He just stood there frozen, eyes wide, staring at me, and for a few seconds I thought he didn't like my dress. And then, all he said was "wow". But it wasn't just "wow", it was more like "WOW", and in that moment his eyes said it all. The pain of the surgery, the fills, the pb'ing, in that moment it all became sooo worth it! It was one of those "heart moments" I'll always treasure, and NEVER forget. In the light of his eyes, I could see that he was so very proud of me! And you know what else? I AM SO VERY PROUD OF ME TOO! Underneath the ugly, fat duckling, just maybe there IS a beautiful swan fighting to get out. And the wedding...well, it was perfect! My sweet baby girl looked like a princess. She is SO happy, and so in love. Oh yeah, and the wedding pictures that will be on my mantle WILL BE GREAT! How far I have come in just ONE year! :heart: April weight loss- 2 lbs. May weight loss- 1 lb. gained :eek: 6/19/07 (215.3) (6 wks) I've yo-yo'ed between 213-216 for the past 6 weeks. I have no restriction. I went and saw Dr. Averbach today for my 4th fill. Both he and Cathy Carr continue to say I'm doing great, though the last few months have been so slow. He added 1/2 cc. That means I have 3.7 cc in my band. Wow! Do I have restriction now! I think I'm too tight, but I want to work with it for awhile and see how it goes. After more than 1 year I can finally say I have restriction. I now understand some of the things they were saying, like don't drink for 1/2 hour before eating. I've never had to worry about this before. I could always drink. Well, there is no doubt that I'll be losing weight again real soon! I am going to the store for protein shakes today. I can comfortably eat about 2 tablespoons of food. I really need to watch my fluid intake. I don't want to dehydrate. I know I can get into trouble real fast here if I'm not careful. I also put a styrofoam cup and extra napkins in my car in case I have to pb while I am out somewhere :driving: 6/25/07 (209) What a bummer day. I had been out all morning, it was HOT outside and I was waiting at the car wash. It was 1pm and I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten all day. I was so tight early this morning. They sell ice cream kiddie cups at the car wash. I KNOW I shouldn't have bought and ate one, but well, I just caved and sat there minding my own business, eating my kiddie cup. A lady came in and sat beside me. She had a bag of cookies and offered one to the man on her right. They chatted for a minute, then she turned to me and said loudly "I'd offer YOU one, but I see you're already having your treat for the day and I don't want to be an enabler". OUCH! How does one respond to something like that? I was shocked, angry, and embarrassed. Chalk up one more painful comment to add to the list. Why are some people so cruel? I just sat there and thought "lady, you don't have a clue!" It really took the wind out of my sails, because I've been so proud of my appearance lately. Yes, I still have a long way to go, but LOOK HOW FAR I'VE COME. Ewwwww, I get soooo mad, but I won't give up my power to someone who hasn't got a clue about my life. :cuss: 6/27/07 (208)(8 days) Well, 7.3 pounds this week. Yup, I've got restriction. I've spent the last week forcing fluids and pb'ing. Yuck! I have loosened up a little bit, but not enough yet. I have to be careful here. I'm not used to having to chew, chew chew. On Sunday I got a bean stuck and it tortured me all afternoon. I'm relearning more everyday. Is this worth it? Right now, yes, but darn is this hard. :hurt: June weight loss- 7 lbs. 7/2/07 (205) (6 days) 3 pounds since last weight check. Whoever says this is the easy way out doesn't have a clue. I'm learning to work with the restriction, but it's not been easy. I am very limited in what I can eat. Even taking my pills takes most of the morning. The evening loosens the band up quite a bit, but bites have to be smaller than the nail on my baby finger. Anything more gets stuck. It takes forever to eat 1/4 cup. I think about fluid intake all the time. I watch my urine for signs that I'm not drinking enough (dark yellow vs. clear). I've read about banded people dehydrating and ending up in the hospital. I can't have that happen. I want to hold on and lose this weight. I feel I'm getting closer everyday. No turning back now. I have to keep focused on positive things. Hmmm, here's a positive... hubby says I am getting much more "flexible". HeHeHe :blush2: 7/11/07 (203) (9 days since last entry) 2 pounds since last weight check. I am so glad I stuck it out and didn't get an unfill. The restriction has loosened up quite a bit. While it's true that I'm still very tight, I can eat much better now. I am back in ketosis again. I hate ketosis. My skin and hair are oily and my breath is awful! I am hoping it gets better now that I can eat and drink more. I have a new non-scale victory. My size 18 pants are starting to get loose on me. It's almost time to say goodbye to Lane Bryant! :lol2: 7/18/07 - (201) Leaving for vacation tomorrow. :thumbup: 7/27/07- (203) Returned from a great diving vacation in Mexico. My new wet suit worked out great, though I do seem to get cold much faster these days. I guess I really don't have the body fat that I used to have. I do need to get a new bcd soon, as my old one is falling off me now. I always use extra weight in Mexico, because the water is very salty there. Still, I am down to using 18 pounds. Pretty darn good! Bummer- I gained two pounds on vacation, but I do love the food there! Opps! :mad3: Total loss for July is 3 pounds. I lost 5, but gained back two. :mad: 8/6/07 (199) Well, vacation was a set-back, but I got back on track, and lost the weight I gained. Today was the big RED LETTER DAY I've waited so long for. Today I hit 199 pounds. I am finally in "Onederland". I haven't been at this weight for so many years! It feels GREAT! :clap2: 8/9/07 (198) I'm doing alot of swimming. It really makes a difference, and it certainly is an exercise I enjoy. Yesterday I ate one of Josh's french fries from McDonald's and immediately became stuck. I am still sore and I hurt today. No solids for another day or so! :sad: 8/27/07 (196)(Monday) Last Wednesday I threw up after dinner. I guess I became irritated, and threw up again on Thursday at the party. Then on Friday night I threw up the tomato soup I had for dinner. Saturday and Sunday I couldn't keep down any fluids and by today (Monday) I was seriously dehydrated. I went into St. Agnes. Dr Averbach met me there. I had three bags of i.v. fluids, and he removed the fluids from my band. I am wide open with no restriction now. I have to be this way for 2 weeks while my tummy heals. I have been worried this would happen. I thank God that the band didn't slip or erode. I was so worried that I had done something to it. I feel awful. I really think I might have something gastric going on. :puke: September 11, 2007- (lbs.) Well, I've gained a few pounds. No surprise! I've had no restriction since the band has been wide open. The worst part is that all the old cravings and obsessions have returned. I think about food alot, and crave certain things relentlessly. I saw Dr. Averbach today, and he agreed to a re-fill. He only filled me to 2.5. I use to be 3.7 with a maximum of 4.0, so I have lots of room for more fills. I am really tight. This surprises me, but I guess it's a good thing. It feels good to get back on track. It feels good to be back in control of "me" again. :rolleyes2: Sept. 24, '07- (194 lbs) I lost the weight I gained while I was unfilled, plus 2 extra pounds, so I am definitely back on track. My next big goal is to be down 100 pounds. I only have 6 pounds to lose to make this goal. I know I can do it! :biggrin2: Sept 26, '07- (192 lbs.) I'm down two more pounds! Now I only have four pounds to go! Wow! I am so excited! :Dancing_biggrin: October 2, '07 (187lbs.) Well, I did it! I'm down 100 pounds. I keep looking at the scale in disbelief. I have waited so long for this day. So much has changed for me in the last 18 months. No more staring. No more mean and hurtful comments. No more fears about chairs that might break or places that I might not fit. I am in-between sizes. I think I am somewhere between a 14 and a 16. I really want to be a 12, so I still have a long way to go, but look how far I've come! I love my band! :party: Oct.3,'07- Last night I went to my son's school for a function. I saw several moms there that I haven't seen since winter/spring. For the 3rd time now, someone didn't recognize me. I am getting comments all the time now, and I have to admit, it feels great! I get the feeling that everyone thought I would start to gain again after the wedding. I do feel self-conscious when I eat in front of others. I always feel like others are watching me. I'm not sure what they are thinking, but I just know I'm being watched. :rolleyes5: Oct. 9, '07- (184) I've been losing weight too fast. I have reflux at night, and I am having trouble with solid foods. I needed an unfill. I went to see Dr. Averbach today. I had been filled to 2.5 cc's. When he removed the fluid, there was just 2.0 cc's in the band, so he took me down to 1.6 cc's. I got relief almost instantly, and the nausea went away. I need a few days to make sure this is the correct fill. if not, I'll go back for another adjustment. Now I need to eat and drink and build up my body again. I have been so tired, and I haven't felt like doing much of anything. Yesterday I had to return something at the store before the 30 days was up. I looked around while I was there, since I have NO pants that fit. I tried on 3 pairs. I am a perfect size 14 pants. Wow!!!!!! I have said all along that I would be thrilled if I could ever get into a 14. That has always been a goal. Well, I made the goal in 1 1/2 years. I stood in the dressing room and just stared in disbelief. I just savored the moment. It's been so many years since I've been at this weight. Life is great!!!! :hurray: 10/15/07- (pounds) Well, I didn't lose anything this week, but I've been trying hard to rebuild my body. I really needed food and fluids. I have been tired with NO energy. It's an effort to do anything. I was also in Ketosis again. I HATE the oily skin and stinky breath. I've been pushing the proteins and I should be ok any day now. I spent the weekend cleaning out my closet. I had ONE winter shirt that fit! I had no casual clothes. Even my shoes are huge. I am walking out of my loafers. It's also time for new unders. Everything is BAGGY. On Saturday hubby took me to Coldwater Creek to get me some new things. I have seen their catalog, but I've never been in the store before. Oh my gosh, the clothes are beautiful! I found out I am a size 14 pants, and a 12-14 top and jacket. As I tried on things I felt so stylish. The salesgirls are so nice in there. They kept asking what size I needed, what pieces I needed for my wardrobe. I'm thinking umm, I need everything, and I don't have a clue what size I am. I just stood in front of the mirror with tears in my eyes. Finally I had to confess to the saleslady about my journey. I don't know what the latest fashion is, or my size, and I've never been in a store like this, let alone know what "cut" of pants I need. I was so happy that they were such kind and understanding women. I really got some pretty things. I was wiped out that night. Hubby has no clue just how overwhelming the day was. Oh yeah, and on Sunday I looked awesome for church. :success1: Oct. 29,'07- 178 (lost 110 pounds) Well, I am still too tight. I go Wednesday the 31st for another unfill. I have 1.6 cc and I still can't get most solid foods down. I have heartburn and reflux all night long. I am not sleeping well, since I sleep sitting up. It's getting old quickly. We leave Sunday for Puerto Rico, and I know I can't go this overfilled. I get tight when I fly anyway. If I flew as tight as I am now, I wouldn't even be able to get water down. I am confused as to why this is happening, but I have to get it right. It's going to take awhile to pack for this trip, because none of my summer clothes fit anymore. I just made them work at the end of the summer, knowing that I would buy new fall things, but I totally forgot about that I would need summer things a few different times this winter. Maybe I can take a few things in... Hmm It took 110 pounds, but now everyone comments to me all the time now about my weight loss. It feels good. I can't tell you how many people say dumb stuff about not loosing any more because I look perfect now. I just tell them we'll see how it goes... :scales: Oct.31, '07 - I went back to see the doctor about an unfill. He told me I had 1.6 in the band, but when he withdrew the fluid, I really had 2.0. I guess he "found" .4 of the "missing" .5cc's he "lost" back on October 9th. He was going to empty the band, but I ask him not to. He took me back to 1.0cc's. I have no restriction at all. I am not going to worry about it for now. We leave in a few days for vacation, and I'm always tight after I fly. I don't want to be so tight that I can't even drink water. I'll wait till I get back and then I'll deal with it. My guess is that I need 1.5 . The fill was very painful. It took countless times before he was able to access the port. Finally, he threw away the needle, and got a new one. The new needle went in the very first time, so the needle he was using was bent and defective. OUCH!!!! :cursing: November 13, '07- (184) Wow! I really gained on vacation. We had an awesome time, and the food was great, but now it's time to pay the piper. My dive suit fit great, and I am down to using 16 pounds of weight. Before surgery, I was using 21 lbs. of weight, I've been able to eliminate 5 whole pounds from my BCD. Awesome!!!! I went to see Dr. Averbach today, and he filled me to 1.5 . We'll see how it goes. I know when I went in for my unfill in October that I was was dehydrated. I knew I would gain a couple of pounds right away because I hadn't eaten. I figured my set weight was somewhere around 180 when we left for vacation, so that means I gained 4 pounds in Puerto Rico. See, this is life without any restriction. Once again it proves that I can't live without my band. The old cravings and obsessions come flooding back almost instantly when I am not filled. I am so glad to have this new fill. Now, I'll get back on track. :wink: Tues. November 20 - (181) Well, I lost three pounds fairly effortlessly. I'm getting back to where I was before vacation. Thanksgiving is this Thursday. I will be happy if I can just maintain the weight I am at now. :confused_smile: Monday Nov.26, '07- (178) Well, I made it back to where I was, and I got through Thanksgiving. Now I just need to maintain. I thought it would be easy since Thanksgiving is over, but noooooo, hubby decided since we had dinner at his mom's house that he wanted US to have a big Thanksgiving dinner. I cooked all day, and now the fridge is full of LEFTOVERS. It's hard to have all the "favorites" right there, staring at me each time I open the fridge door. On a positive note, my restriction is MUCH better. I'm at a good place right now, and that helps me to not overeat. Even if I eat more than I should, that translates to a couple extra tablespoons, and not plate after heaping plate of food. I had small "tastes" of everything. I will be so happy to get through the holiday "food fests" though. :biggrin1: Since late summer, I have had a new "issue". I am ALWAYS cold. Not just chilly, I mean COLD. At first it was funny, and hubby joked, but now that the cold weather is here, I am cold all the time. Hubby says that I just don't have the body fat anymore, but I wonder if something more is going on. Hmmmm...:smokin: December 1,'07- (177) (Down one pound) Hubby told me that I could have some new clothes for Christmas. I needed a winter coat since mine was a 3x. It was HUGE on me. I also needed some shoes. I have gone from a size 10 to a size 9. I had been stuffing the toes of my shoes with tissue so that they wouldn't come off when I walked. It feels good to have shoes that fit, and my new coat is nice and warm, and stylish too. I love the pair of Coldwater Creek jeans I got in mid October. Hubby likes them too, and he told me to go get a couple more. I also found a nice Christmas outfit. I tried on a pretty jacket and the "large" was too big. The nice saleslady said she would bring me back a "medium" to try. While I was waiting, I tried on the jeans. The size 12 fit great. I stood there looking into the mirror in disbelief. I've always said I would be happy if I could get down to a size 14, and I would be deliriously happy if I could ever be a 12. Well, here I stood wearing the size 12. I may not have attained my doctor's goal yet, but I sure made my personal goal. I started to fill up, right there in the dressing room. Then the saleslady came back and called my name. As she walked toward the dressing room she said very loudly "I have your size MEDIUM" and opened the door to hand it in to me. My head began to swirl. My size MEDIUM? MY size medium? Oh my gosh, she's really talking to me! I wear a SIZE MEDIUM. I just burst into tears right then and there. The saleslady's eyes got wide, and she said "Are you alright, honey?" All I could get out was "I wear a size 12". She thought I was upset because I had to buy a size 12 (because I had gained weight or something). She tripped over her words, and said something about how nice they fit me and how good they looked on me, and not to be upset. For so many years I have wanted to be a size 12, but it was always just a pipe dream. I never ever dared to dream that this day would come! Just 19 1/2 months ago the saleslady would have said in a loud voice "I have your size 26", and I would have cringed in embarrassment. I quickly explained, and my nice saleslady looked relieved. I guess she thought I was a nut case or something. Every day brings new wonders and experiences. I feel as though I have been born again into a new body and a new life. Dec. 17th, 2007- I have been yo-yoing between 177-178. I think I might need a very, very small fill. I also need to stop eating the sweets and Christmas goodies. Hmmm, easier said than done. I haven't been too bad, but I need to get off this plateau :bored: Dec 23rd, 2007- This is from something I posted here on the boards. I wanted to include it in my diary. It was from a thread called "Keeping It (your band) A Secret" I was banded 20 months ago (size 26), and chose to tell very few people. After the first 50 pounds, everyone began to ask what diet I was using. My standard answer was "The My Daughter's Getting Married And I'm In The Pictures Diet." Everyone would chuckle, and empathize regardless of their size. It was a great way to deflect uncomfortable questions and turn their attention elsewhere. Well, the wedding was this past April. By then I was down 74 pounds (size 18). I was not yet at goal (I'm still not), but I was well on my way. In the past few weeks I have seen a number of people at Christmas parties that I had not seen since the wedding. I am now a size 12, and down 110 pounds. While I admit I HAVE received many nice complements, you would not believe the things others have said to me. I heard "Don't you dare lose any more weight, you're perfect right now." Huh? Isn't that for me and my doctor to decide? Two different people said "I thought you'd start to gain again after the wedding, but gee, you lost more". Wow, I think there's a compliment in there somewhere. One women watched me like a hawk at dinner last night to see what and how much I was eating. She even called to me from across the long banquet table to ask me what I was ordering for dinner. It was so uncomfortable. As I left the party, two said something along the lines of "you look great, now don't start gaining it back again!". Hmmm, don't lose weight. Don't gain weight. Everyone's got unsolicited advise and opinions for me whether I told them about my surgery or not. I don't think their comments were meant to be mean spirited. The fact is, some people just say what others may be thinking, but are afraid to say. I know now that some people who were supportive of my weight loss still expect that I will gain the weight back. My point is, deciding who to tell, and what to say or not say about your surgery is one of the decisions you have to make early on. But the truth is, in the end it doesn't really matter whether they know or not. Because of the dramatic changes in your weight, they WILL comment to you and about you, offering you their unsolicited advise and opinions. I guess shortgal's comments are right "We have been judged our whole life and then we do this and we will still be judged.... for not losing fast enough, or losing too much, or eating too much, or not eating enough!". Sadly, sometimes this happens whether you have chosen to share your WLS journey with others or not. January 10, 2008- (281) Well, as always, I am paying for my abandon at vacation. I gained weight. I just don't do well when I am away. I do so much better when I can jump on a scale everyday. I think I just have to physically SEE the numbers on the scale. I've had pretty loose restriction and I need a small fill. I called for an appointment, but the office was closed. I'll call again tomorrow. I am chairperson for the fashion show fundraiser at my son's school. At the meeting Tuesday night we were discussing retailers that are loaning us clothes for the show. I ask why Lexington Lady hadn't been included in the list of stores (the large woman's store). The head of fashions committee ( a small lady) said that Vassares told her that they could accommodate all sizes, so we really didn't need a plus size store on our list. I know for a fact that some of our mom models are plus size, so I told her "no, Vassares only carries smaller sizes" and that I knew this because I had to special order my gown for my daughter's wedding last spring (they had NO plus sizes). I wasn't even thinking when I said it. It just kind-of tumbled out. One lady spoke up and said that if Vassares didn't have a gown that fit me, then they wouldn't have a gown that would fit anyone there at the meeting. Oh my gosh! What did I just say? I opened my big mouth. These women don't know me. They don't know my story, and they sure don't know that I was a size 18 last spring, let alone a size 26 only 20 months ago. All they see now is the size 12 lady standing there in front of them. I blushed (I could feel the color burn in my cheeks). I stammered and stumbled over my words. I just wanted to disappear. I remember choking out something about losing alot of weight. I ask the chairperson to please get clarification as to EXACTLY what size Vassares went up to, then I sat down quickly. The room was quiet and all eyes were on me. It was an awful, awkward moment. Why do I ALWAYS forget I am thinner now? I still feel anxious waiting in line for a public bathroom. :confused2: I ALWAYS forget that I fit in the stall now. I was uncomfortable on the airplane because I didn't want to use the restroom. I was afraid the stall was too small. I know what my eyes see in the mirror, but my head just hasn't caught up with my body. It's the strangest thing. I STILL think I'm a big woman. Yet every day I see and experience new wonders. We were in Disney World with 8 teenagers last week. I kept pace with them! I can walk faster than my husband now. For the first time EVER, I had to wait for HIM to catch up with ME! I went shopping in the Disney store and I bought a Minnie sweatshirt. Disney clothes for women only go up to a 2x. The men's clothes are a size bigger. I wanted a Minnie shirt when we were there two years ago, but only the men's plus clothes fit me, so I only had a handful of choices to select from, and there was certainly nothing feminine in the men's clothing line. Well, now I am the proud owner of a PINK MINNIE zip-up sweatshirt. It's a little thing, I know, but it just makes me sooo happy. Yup, it's the little things in life that bring me such joy these days. I walked the dog this morning, and he started to run uphill to get back to the house (he was cold). I started running too, and I ran all the way up the hill. Oh my gosh, last year I could barely WALK up that hill without puffing and blowing. The same thing happens when I run up the steps in my house. No more stopping at the top step to get my breath. It's really not that I am in good shape now, (nothing could be farther from the truth) but my heart doesn't feel like it's about to beat out of my chest anymore, so I think it's not as stressed as it was, and it certainly doesn't have to work as hard as it use to. Yup, it's all the little things. :Banane57: I am sooo blessed! January 15th, 2008 (281) Well, I gained weight over the holidays and vacation. No great surprise there. I am not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to move on and start fresh. I got my fill today. I was filled to 1.5cc. Now I am filled to 2.0. The doctor had no problem with filling me the half cc. In fact, he said that 2cc. is the beginning fill that he does for this size band. I guess that means that 21 months out, I just now have the "average" beginning fill. That's pretty cool because it gives me lots of room for more fills, should I need them. I do have more restriction now. I will give it a month and see how I do. My restriction always depends on the "time of the month". I've had a partial hysterectomy, so I'm never sure what point of my cycle I'm at. I'm ready to get serious again and get the rest of the weight off. I can accept it if I don't lose any more. I've met my personal goals, but I really would like to try to get to my goal weight. I tried on a sweater from Target today and the size large was too small for me. I guess I needed a xl in that sweater. My thinking is that I must have gotten it from the junior department. I think the junior department is a full size smaller than the regular ladies department. I would like to be able to buy things from ANY department. I'm going to give it my best shot. Dr Averbach is thrilled with my weight loss. He said I was the "highest percentage of weight lost" patient he's had. I was very surprised. I read about people every day on the boards who have made it to goal and beyond. I know this is "do-able".:cheated: January 17th, 2008 (280) I wanted to write about my relationship with my husband. I've had a great marriage for 28 years to an awesome man. We were both thin when we married, and both became obese. My husband has always told me he finds me sexy, no matter what I weigh. I am very thankful for that. Initially, he was very nervous about the safety of the procedure and needed some heavy duty convincing. He has been very supportive of me since day one. I see a new excitement in him since the weight has come off. Though we haven't talked about it, I am sure he finds me more attractive. He has taken me out shopping several times, and LOVES it when I am dressed up and on his arm. He loves it when his guy buddies make comments about his "hot woman". He tells me all the time how beautiful I am. I have joked to my girlfriends that I have become my own "second wife" or mistress, because that is exactly the way he treats me now. It's so wonderful to have a man who loves me so much. :wub: Then there is the other side of the coin... I have seen some insecurity in him since I have lost the weight. Twice we have been out and other men have flirted with me. He is very aware that this happens now. I had a long talk with him last week, and he said he is insecure that I will no longer find him attractive because he has not lost HIS extra weight. I told him again that I would do anything he wanted to help and support him with his weight loss, but that I love him no matter what he weighs. I even talked to him about the lap band, but to date he has not been very receptive. He acknowledged that I do always tell him how sexy I find him, and that he sees how much I desire him. He tells me it's not my actions with him or other men that cause the insecurity. It's all in his mind. I have been trying harder to make him feel that he is the most wonderful, sexy man in the world (and he IS!). I am hoping this passes with time. I am careful to NEVER let my eye stray when we are out in public. I am trying harder to dote and fawn on him, and make him feel special. Beyond this, there's not much I can do. Why did I blog about this? I guess I've been thinking that if these issues come up in marriages that are not stressed, then what must happen with marriages that ARE under stress? I thought so hard about how the Lap Band surgery would affect me, but I never thought about it would change relationships and affect the whole family. My children will never be teased again about their "fat" mother. My husband has his "new" wife, and new insecurities. My sister-in-law has been acting jealous lately. My aunt has been critical, and thinks I should have tried the South Beach diet. Yup, Lap Band changes family dynamics! :tt1: 1/17/08 Since there is so much confusion about the different kinds of bands, I did some research. Here's what I found out... The brand name of Lap Bands use in the United States use to be called BioEnterics bands. The company sold out and now they are known as Inamed and/or Allergan brand bands. The size of your band (it's length) is measured in centimeters (cm) The fill capacity of your band is measured in milliliters (ml or the more commonly used abbreviation cc). The manufacturer's recommended fill capacity is NOT always followed by all doctors! There are 5 sizes of Inamed and /or Allergan bands. Three are the "older style" and two are the newer style bands. Each has a different length and fill capacity. The Older Style (Allergan has no current plans to discontinue these bands) length / capacity 1. 9.75cm/4cc 2. 10cm/4cc 3. 14cm/10cc (can be pushed to 11 cc) (this is called the Vanguard or VG band) Newer Style (next generation) Bands: (I am unsure of the length on these) 4. APS (small) holds 10cc 5. APL (large) holds 14cc The newer style bands are considered less likely to cause blockage, obstruction, erosion or slippage than other AGP types. The bands are curved, and are made of a new softer silicone material. Like the VG (Vanguard) band, the new bands are "Omniform" technology - i.e. the balloon has ribs or baffles , and is pleated to grip the stomach better. The new AP bands have more of a 360 (concentric, rounded) inflation around the stomach as opposed to the older 9.75cm and 10cm(4cc) bands, which have more like 260 or 280 degrees inflation (the rest being the buckle), and the VG band which has more like 280 or 300. It is understood that this was simply an upgrade to the existing band to make it easier and less traumatic to remove. The balloon on the new band goes all the way around the inner surface of the band, rather than missing a piece at the locking mechanism. The locking mechanism is isolated from the stomach. The balloon is wider on the new band. A side view shows the balloon protruding top & bottom rather than sitting flush. The new bands have an easier release mechanism to remove the band if need be.

Do I get to play, or is the revision surgery "cheating?" Remember, I went up to my pre-banding weight PLUS three pounds when I went for the revision...so I was starting at the top...again. My BMI was 49-ish...it's now 35-ish. My weight loss has been stalled for a couple of weeks (couldn't move, on pain killers and/or steriod inections), and I'm probably going to experience a slight gain...as I'm starting (f'ing) Prednisone tomorrow for a back injury. When stressing about my mother and my back, I did the only normal thing...for me. I ate all of the chocolate in my zipcode. I knew it made no sense when I bought it and made LESS sense when I ate it, but--at those moments--I apparently trusted the chocolate more than I trusted reason or logic, to solve my problems. I have learned NOTHING from being banded. I think I made the right decision in going with malabsorption. And I got my 6-month labs back today. Penni--and other medical types--if there's anything I'm supposed to worry here about will you let me know? I've been really anxious about these! * = near either end of the "Reference Values" ** = outside the "Reference Values" ~~HEMATOPATHOLOGY WBC--7.6--(REFERENCE 4.3-10.0) HGB--12.0--(REFERENCE 11.5-15.0) HCT--35.6--(REFERENCE 35.0-47.0) *MCV--80--(REFERENCE 80-99) RBC--4.45--(REFERENCE 3.90-5.20) *MCH--27--(REFERENCE 27-34) MCHC--33.8--(REFERENCE 32.-36.0) **RDW--15.6--(REFERENCE 0.0--15.5) PLATELET--416--(REFERENCE150-450) **TRANSFERRIN--397--(REFERENCE 200-360) IRON--49--(REFERENCE 37-145) Vitamin B-12--804--(REFERENCE 211-911) FOLATE-- >20.0 ~~COAGULATION APTT--34.9--(REFERENCE 24.0-36.0) PROTIME PT--14.3--(10.0-15.7) INR--1.06--(REFERENCE 0.70-1.19) ~~URINALYSIS WAS FINE ~~CHEMICAL PATHOLOGY GLUCOSE--93--(REFERENCE 65-99) NA--138--(REFERENCE136-147) K--4.1--(REFERENCE 3.5-5.5) CL--104--(REFERENCE 96-108) CO2--25--(REFERENCE 22-29) ANION GAP--9--(REFERENCE 5-14) BUN--10--(REFERENCE 6-20) CREA--0.5--(REFERENCE 0.4-1.1) UREA/CREA--20--(REFERENCE 10-22) OSMO CALC--274--(REFERENCE 268-292) TOT PROTEIN--6.7--(REFERENCE 6.3-8.3) ALBUMIN--4.3--(REFERENCE 3.6-5.0) *GLOBULIN--2.4--(REFERENCE 2.4-4.4) A/G RATIO--1.8--(REFERENCE 0.7-2.5) FERRITIN--19--(REFERENCE 15-417) ~~PROTEIN ANALYSIS *PREALBUMIN--20.4--(REFERENCE 20.0-40.0) ~~CARDIAC RISK INDICATORS TRIG--117--(REFERENCE 0-149) CHOL--119--(REFERENCE 0-199) HDL CHOL--64 CHOL/HDL-- 1.9 LDL CALC--32--(REFERENCE 0-99) VLDL CALC--23 (REFERENCE 0-30) ~~THYROID FUNCTION T3U--36--(REFERENCE 24-37) HS/TSH--1.04--(REFERENCE 0.35-5.50) FREE T4--1.2--(REFERENCE 0.8-1.Cool PTH INTACT--48--(REFERENCE 14-72) ~~MISCELLANEOUS TESTS Vitamin A @--0.37--(REFERENCE 0.30-1.20) RET PALM @--0.02--(REFERENCE 0.00-0.10) VIT A INTERP @--NORMAL **VIT D, 25 OH @--15--(REFERENCE 20-57) VITAMIN B6, PLASMA--PENDING My PCP says I need a little sunshine and an occasional Protein drink as my prealbumin is at the low end of normal. Is there anything else I should be concerned about? Thanks, Sue

Starting weight: 283 Height: 5'8" Starting BMI: 43 Goal: 150ish. I'd be happy with higher if I thought I looked and felt good. I guess it depends on where my body feels comfortable. I have been overweight all of my adult life and really, as long as I can remember. I feel like I've been on some sort of diet forever. The first diet I can remember is at the age of 16, my mother sent me to Weight Watchers. I've been on Jenny Craig, Richard Simmons. I've taken Redux and just about any over the counter "dietary supplement" known to man. I've been able to lose weight with these things but I've never been able to keep the weight off and the pounds usually bring a few friends back with them. It's really amazing when I look in the mirror. I don't think I look that bad, but when I see photos of myself I am shocked at how big I look. I'm ashamed of what I look like. I am looking foreward to the day when I have the lap band as a tool to help me keep on track. I was born with a condition known as congenital hip dysplasia (my hips weren't formed right and were dislocated). I'm told that I'm lucky to be able to walk, but I had a good doctor as a child and with many surgeries, I'm whole again. It's hard for me to participate in high impact exercise, but I walk, ride bicyle, swim and try to keep active. I enjoy reading and music. My favorite author is Stephen King. My husband and I own a travel trailer and do a lot of camping in the summer time. That keeps me active with walking and bicycling. I had my surgical consult on 1/14/05 and am currently waiting for insurance approval for adjustable gastric banding. 2/3/05 I got word that my insurance approved me for the lap band. Hooray!. 2/9/05 I've scheduled all my pre-op testing and dietician appointments. They tell me my surgery is scheduled for 4/4/05!. WOW. This is happening faster than I thought. The nurse from the office had told me yesterday that 4/4/05 was a possible date but didn't tell me they were going to schedule it. 02/11/05 I got a letter from my doctor's office and from the hospital advising me that my surgery has been scheduled for 4/4/05. What a way to notify someone. Well, at least it's official. Now the waiting game begins. I'm trying to follow the post banding diet so it won't come as such a shock for me post operatively. I'm "in training" so to speak. I think I find the no drinking with my meals and trying to time my fluid intake around my meals the hardest. 2/23/05 I had my first appointment with the office nurse who does most of the follow ups. She was doing my lap band teaching. All the pre-op, actual operative and post op advice I understood and was prepared for except for one thing. She told me to start eating with a baby spoon and a pickle fork so that I could get accustomed to small bites. I don't even know what a pickle fork is!. Is this something I'll have to do forever? I can't find anywhere on the forums where anyone has been advised this except for other patients of Dr. Duckett. I guess this will just become part of my "in training" whether I feel good about it or not. How am I gonna explain those utensils to my co-workers since I've tried to keep the whole surgery from them to begin with? 2/26/05 Had my consultation with the dietician today. It took 2 hours! Who knew it would take 2 hours to go over food? She made me feel very comfortable and she gave me a lot of hand-outs on the different types of diets should I ever stray. There's even examples of menu's. Although, that's exactly what I've been researching ever since I decided the lap band was for me. I felt very informed going in and very confidant going out. OH, and one more thing. I weighed myself today. I'm down to 272.5!. That's 9lbs gone since I've started trying to follow the lap band diet after my consultation with Dr. Duckett. WooHoo! 3/2/05 I found this on a post tonight and thought that it spoke volumes for my situation. I wanted to save it in case I forgot all the reasons I chose lap band. Once in awhile, someone will come around asking for the reasons why I chose the Band, so I'll compile my reasons here: More natural rate of weight loss: * Minimal sagging skin * No "window of opportunity" * Plenty of time to develop better eating/living habits, including exercise Least invasive surgery: * Lower rate of complications or death * Complications are easier to manage * Quicker recovery time; less painful * No cutting/rearranging of body parts * No changing the natural digestive process * No necessity of taking vitamins or supplements; I can get all I need from food Most innovative technique: * Adjustable for permanent weight-loss aid * Removable, should something more effective become available * "Cool" factor Generous but effective learning curve: * Better eating habits must be adopted from day one - no coasting * Has been labeled as "thinking person's WLS" * No punitive "dumping syndrome"; may eat like a normal person * Ability to drink normally and get in enough water * Safety-net effect; may put weight loss on hold to concentrate on other matters without gaining I never seriously considered RNY. When I heard about the Band, it was like a light bulb going on for me. By the way, I weighed myself again. 270.5! Another 2lbs gone. I don't want to get in the habit of weighing myself more than once a week, but I couldn't help myself, and I stepped on. 3/18/05 I had the upper GI and venous doppler studies today. Man, I felt like I was playing twister on that x-ray table for the upper GI. It was like, "turn left, more left, turn right, more right, now on your stomach, bend your knee, roll over." Venous doppler was a piece of cake other than the goo they use for the ultrasound. It was kind of hard to get all of it off. I haven't lost any more weight, but on the bright side, I haven't gained either. Once I'm banded, my portions will be significantly less and with the liquid diet required, I'm sure I'll get moving again. 4/2/05 I've been on the full liquid diet since 3/30/05. Sometimes I feel like I'm being tortured. I dream about food. Is that sick or what? I feel really sorry for those individuals who have to do this for longer than the 5 days I'm required to follow it. 4/6/05 I'm home and banded. I read about this gas pain, but geez it really is the worst. I'm not nauseated or anything. But the pressure in my chest and upper abdomen feels like I'm having a heart attack sometimes. I try to walk it off, but last night it was even hard to breathe. I'm trying to sip my water and eat a little at a time, but really I'm not hungry. I'm only eating out of fear that I'll get run down and not feel well if I don't. 4/8/05 Feeling better today. I've been up and about the house. The only discomfort I've had is from moving too quickly. I do have an odd sensation of bloatedness. It seems like I have it all the time. I'm trying to learn the language of the band but it's hard when everything feels like different levels of full at this point, even when I'm only consuming liquids. 4/16/05 Feeling back to my old self for the most part. I'm up and around, even starting to feel hungry. I have 2 more days of full liquids then I can move onto pureed. I can honestly say I'm really looking foreward to that as I'm getting tired of soup! I plan on going back to work on 4/18/05 and although I am physically ready, I would like more time off. Who doesn't like being home and relaxing? 4/25/05 Gee, the last week has gone by so fast, I haven't had time to blink let alone update or post. My husband's grandmother passed away on 4/18/05 so, we had to leave for Texas on very short notice. I've been on mushies and let me tell you, traveling on mushies is a difficult task. Especially to Texas where there is GREAT Tex-Mex food available. My husband's family doesn't know I had surgery, so I had to make do. I had some cold cuts, chewed really well and some very well cooked roast beef (also very well chewed). I didn't have any problems with them, other than some extra gas, but I didn't push it and tried to stay with very soft, mushy or even foods that boardered on liquids for the duration of the trip. I got on the scale today, and I've lost 3 more pounds! WOW! I never thought I would because truthfully, I didn't think I was getting enough calories in and I definately wasn't drinking enough. I've also been fortunate enough to have some sort of cold or bronchitis and haven't been feeling up to eating or drinking. I guess, I must have done something right! This journey is so unique. 5/3/05 I had read other member's NSV's but I didn't really realize the significance of them until this morning. I had dressed for work in slacks that zipped on the side. They were loose, but I didn't realize how loose they were until...I had to tinkle and when I went into the bathroom I pulled my pants down. I had absentmindedly thought that I was wearing elastic waistband pants! They came down without any problem and as I sat there, I started laughing, my husband thought I was crazy laughing there on the toilet. This has been on my mind all day and I had to share it because I've read everyone's weight loss in the first few weeks and I felt that my own weight loss was a little slower than others. (I know, we're not supposed to compare ourselves, but it's hard not to) I had resigned myself to being a slow loser. I must be losing inches and because I hadn't measured myself, I'll never know exactly how many inches I've lost. Oh well, I can feel it in my clothes and the way I move. 5/23/05 Just a quick update. Feeling good. The weight is slowly going down. 250.5 today. I think it's been 2 years since I've weighed that. Over the weekend, I cheated a little and had some Doritos. Not a lot, just maybe an ounce or 2. Just the same, shouldn't have had them. Well it's just 1 day along the road. "one day at a time" 6/5/05 I've been 248 for about a week now, just didn't update. Hope to see some more loss soon. I haven't had a fill, so I don't really have much restriction. I follow the diet and I do feel satisfied for about 3 hours. I can't say that I'm hungry a lot or "starving" or anything. Still trying hard to get all my water in every day. 6/10/05 I weighed myself today. 244.5! I've been out of town for work and I've been eating all my meals out. I feel I've made mostly good choices, a lot of grilled chicken salads though. I do log everything I eat in a program I have for my PDA, it's called Balancelog. It's O.K., although I'm sure no program's perfect. I've been staying about 1200 cal or less. :-P once in a great while I'm over, but not by much. I've also been doing better with the water because it's been so hot here. 7/18/05 I haven't updated in a while because I've been stuck for about a month. In fact, after my last post, I gained 4 lbs and had to lose them again. I've been more active with exercising and I've been doing well with my eating habits, but still I was stuck. So...I scheduled a fill. I had to convince the doctor's office nurse first, but I did it. Today was my first fill. It wasn't so bad. The doctor did it under fluoro at the hospital where I had my surgery. BUT, I'm filled to 2.8 or "just under 2.8" according to the doctor. That seems like a lot. I watched the passage of barium through the band and it went through, albeit slowly. The doctor reminded me several times to take it slow and to call anytime, day or night if I have spitting or problems. I'm a little scared. I've been on clear liquids since the fill this morning and haven't had any problems getting those down. I guess I'm just nervous. I've never had a PB and I don't want to. 7/29/05 Oh my God! Yesterday I thought I was going to die. Or at least I wished I had for a time. I've still been on mushies. The doctor told me to take it slow after that fill and I've been ever faithful to those orders mostly out of fear. I had very finely shredded tuna salad and one of those breakstone's creamed cottage cheese with fruit for lunch. It went down fine and I took my time. I had eaten both of those items before and wasn't worried. About an hour and a half afterwards, the pain started. It felt like something was stuck. I started to walk around. I even took a couple sips of water, which I know doesn't usually help but I have found it's kind of instinct. When that didn't work, I kept walking. I walked for nearly a half hour straight, sometimes leaning over a sink hoping and wishing I'd vomit for the pain to go away. I finished my work and got in my car. By this time, an hour had passed and the pain was so bad I could hardly breathe. I called my DH who called the surgeon and told me to get to the ER to be checked. The ER is an hour from my home and I was more than a half hour from my home! That drive home was the most painful torture I have ever experienced. The pain only seemed to get worse and worse. Then, about 2 miles from my house, I felt a "pop" and suddenly the pain and pressure was gone. When I got home, DH and I decided to go to the ER anyway mostly because we were scared. I had never experienced anything this extreme (nor do I again, thank you). The doc checked my band under fluoro and to my amazement, the 2.8cc he said he put in is now down to 2cc and everything is moving just fine, band has not moved. What happened to the 0.8cc? And, what the hell was all that pain? 8/13/05 Gosh how time flies. I didn't really realize that I hadn't updated my profile since "BLACK THURSDAY". I've come to the conclusion that the pain on 7/28 was probably some solid food that I hadn't chewed well enough that had gotten stuck. My Dr. thought maybe I had eaten too fast or swallowed too much air in the process, both viable possibilities. No matter what the cause, I WILL be chewing better and eating slower. I did mushies for a day or 2 after that then continued on soft foods for another week before going back to regular food. I'm doing fine now. I was amazed to find that I can still eat bread, rice, red meat, etc. I really haven't found anything that doesn't go down...yet. I haven't lost any more weight. I'm still at 234.5, but that's o.k. I feel great. I've been kind of bad at getting my water in the last couple of weeks, my work schedule has been weird. I'll get back on track and I'm sure my weight will get moving again. 8/22/05 Been doing O.K. Weighed on Friday. I'm at 232 lbs. I'm doing about a pound a week. I'm very happy with that. I'm in a size 18 comfortably right now. Today, I had to try three pairs of pants to find one that fit well enough to wear to work. The others were so big I looked bad. What can I say, I'm too cheap to buy all new just yet. I think I'm going to have to break down and buy a couple of outfits. I've been telling myself that as I got fat, I also gathered plenty of clothes that got me there. Well, I think I skipped a size or two because I can't find many in size 18 in my closet. Darn, shopping will be such a pain I'm sure. I look back and remember that when I started this journey in January and in the pic below I was in a size 24. In January that size 24 was rather snug. 9/13/05 Feeling pretty good about my weight loss. Still doing the 1-1.5lb loss per week. Went to my monthly support group meeting last night. I realized how lucky I am to be losing steady and to be going along so well. I haven't PB'd, just that "stuck" episode. I tolerate any food I put into my mouth and I have followed my rules pretty well. I try to make good choices most of the time, but I do allow myself treats. I think that's what keeps me happy and on track. I am satisfied with smaller amounts of the things I love. This is exactly what I wanted. I can eat what I want, in moderation and still lose weight. I do track my nutritional and caloric intake nearly daily (I may take a day or 2 off on a weekend, but rarely). And, I don't cheat on that log...I track everything the best that I can. I admit I could be doing better with my exercise. 228lbs. 9/22/05 Although, I generally weigh myself on Friday or Saturday I thought I'd post today because I have plans for the weekend and thought maybe I'd be too busy to post later. The last time I weighed myself I was 225lbs. That's a total of 57lbs gone. I can't say it enough...I am so pleased with my surgery and my weight loss so far. I can't even remember the last time I weighed that. I think it was more than 10 years ago to be honest. I don't feel deprived. I have more energy. My self confidance has gone up. How could it not? So many people have noticed the loss and are making comments. Lap band was the best thing I have ever done for myself and I would do it again in an instant. 10/5/05 Well, I can no longer boast that I have never PB'd. I am not proud of that fact, but here goes...Today at work I started to have that now familiar epigastric pain. I had clam chowder for lunch with a small salad and a breadstick. None of those items were new to me, so I had no fears whatsoever. About an hour after I ate, the pain started. This time I even started to sweat. I figured that I wasn't going to put up with this so...(bulemics beware) I went to the bathroom and put my finger down my throat in hopes to feel better. I only brought up mucous. This only temporarily relieved my pain, so I did this same routine 3 more times. One of those, I did bring up some undigested food. This has not been a pleasant banded day. I'm still uncomfortable, but unless I can't stand the pain I'm not doing it again. I guess it's a jello night. 10/24/05 After the last update, I went to the ER and was kept overnight for dehydration because I couldn't keep anything down. Dr. Duckett took out 1cc from my band the next day. I've been really careful ever since mostly staying with soft foods. I did have a salad over the weekend and felt pretty confidant about it. Today I PB'd again. It was the best PB I've had if that's possible. The pain started, I walked, up it came. All in all it lasted about 10 or 15 minutes. If they were all like that, I would consider it a blessing. Not that I really want them. But that torture of 7/28/05 and 10/5/05 made me want to die. I'm gonna cut this update short because I'm a little sore. I'm down to 223 lbs which is good considering my band is looser than before. 11/24/05. Wow, I forgot to check my profile and hadn't realized how llong it had been. I can remember that time like it was yesterday. I feel like the whole month of October and most of November has been brutal torture for me. I had to keep going back to liquids for one thing or another and I sincerely developed a fear of food. On 11/14/05 when it felt like I was gonna get that pain again I called the doctor's office. I didn't go into a full blown attack, but it was distracting to say the least. I felt like I was eating papaya enzyme tabs like candy in hopes to help digest whatever was the problem (although really how could tomato soup and a bit of tuna salad do that?) Dr. Duckett insisted on seeing me. On 11/17/05 I saw him and he felt that what I was having was esophogeal spasms. I suppose they may have originally been started by something getting stuck, but he felt they were caused by increased stress in my life (which I've been having A LOT of). He gave me a prescription for Valium to help calm those muscles down which I'm only supposed to take when I feel the spasms coming. So far, no more really intense ones since 10/24/05 and 10/25/05 but I fear that and would avoid that with everything in me. I've been doing much better ever since. I do have a little bit of reflux, but I think that may be from eating too late at night. I'm down to 216.5 lbs and very happy with that. I cleaned out my closet and got rid of all of the clothes that were hanging on me. That's a good feeling. 12/28/05 Well, I didn't make it to my unofficial goal of "onederland" by the end of the year but that's O.K. I've lost 69 pounds and am very happy with that. Especially considering the last three months worth of trials I've had, I'm very very happy. October started with a hospitalization for pain and inability to keep liquids down that turned out to be esophageal spasms. November was more of the same then turned into reflux that went on and on which convinced me that my band was slipped. After a long struggle with that reflux, I finally called the doctor who (I think mostly to ease my mind) checked my band under fluoro. All was well. I think he thinks I'm a nervous freak-he told my husband that once my mind was eased I should be just fine. Now, my struggle is HOLIDAY TREATS. I haven't really gained any, but I'm truly shocked. Those darn cookies will be the death of me. 2006 will be good for me. My band is in place, once I'm away from the posessed cookies that call my name I'll be fine with my choices and "onederland" here I come. Only 14 lbs to go. 1/20/05 I've been hesitant to update. Not because I'm not losing weight or anything. I've just been down in the dumps about banding. There have even been times I wish I had the damn thing out of my body. I am SICK and TIRED of having these episodes where I have pain and pressure that goes on and on. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've had it for a whole day in varying degrees. I don't have a clue what causes it. I keep track of everything I eat and NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING that I eat is consistent enough to figure out what causes this. Because the pain comes about an hour to an hour and a half AFTER I've eaten I can't say whether it's because I've eaten too fast or not chewed well enough. All I can say is that I try to pay attention at each meal, mostly out of fear. I'm averaging one of these "spasms" about once every two weeks. The doctor says it's consistent with esophageal spasms. Well, FIX IT! I'm tired of having them. I'm losing weight, but not necessarily the right way. Basically I'm starving. I'll eat normally for a week or two, then WHAMO! smasm and then it's nothing to eat for a day (or 2) but maybe tea then slowly work back up to solid foods again. 211lbs 1/30/06 Here I am, still suffering to a certain extent. A couple days after that last entry, I got fed up with the poor answer from my band surgeon to "seek counseling". I started considering the possibility that maybe these attacks were not related to my band. I saw a doctor for a second opinion and found out that I have gall stones. All of these months, at least since October, I have been suffering with gall bladder attacks. I am scheduled to have my gall bladder removed on 2/2/06. These last few weeks I have not felt well, I constantly have a sick taste in my mouth. It's kind of what I thought was reflux before. Now, I'm wondering if I had reflux at all and not some weird bile overload or even infection from the gall bladder. Who knows? I sincerely hope this gall bladder surgery solves my problems. If not, I may just have the band removed. I am tired of being sick and I'm tired of being in pain. 207 lbs 2/5/06 Well, where do I begin? I had the gall bladder surgery. They say that part went fine. Somehow during the surgery they dislocated my artificial hip. Yes, they dislocated my hip. My abdomen is sore from the gall bladder surgery. Generally, I feel better than I did before although I really don't have much of an appetite. The problem is my hip. I am not to bear any weight on it. It's been 3 years since I've dislocated it. I was doing so well. I feel really low, as if I've started all over again with my hip. I hobble around with my walker and my a$$ is really sore from sitting all the time. Weight loss is really not a priority right now, but it's amazing that when you feel so bad or are in pain it really doesn't matter. 3/24/06 Well, I'm fully recovered from the gall bladder surgery. I'm still in physical therapy for my hip. They tell me that the muscles are really weak. I'm planning on going back to work on 3/27, so I hope they're strong enough for that. Other than a little bit of pain that comes and goes, I guess I'll have to go on. I've come to the realization that all of the problems I've had since October, probably even the "black Thursday" mentioned in July 2005 was a gall bladder attack. All of those experiences were variations of the same. Any vomiting I had was only mucous and came as a last resort to relieve the pressure associated with the pain. Although I couldn't testify, I believe I have NEVER had a true PB. Is that possible? At almost 1 year out, to never PB? I would have taken a PB or 2 over the torture of those months. OH Well. Now that I can eat, I do. I'm stuck at 211lbs. Yes, I gained a couple since the gall bladder surgery, but I'm not terribly sad about it. Not happy, but not really depressed or anything. I can eat, Happy. I gained, sad. I think it's also because I'm working out with weights to strengthen muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. It's only 4lbs. I'll eventually get it off. I hope. 4/9/06 I know this is a LONG first entry for a journal, but I wanted to put my entire OH profile on here. I'm told that there's a possibility I may lose it. So...I figured I'd have it on 2 sites. What's the chances of both of them losing it? Anyway, I'm still bouncing between 210 and 211 lbs. I'm thinking that I may be experiencing my first ever real plateau. Even when I've dieted whenever my weight even slowed down I'd give up and return to my prior eating. I've been exercising more, trying to strengthen those weak hip muscles. I have had a bit of Easter candy, but I don't think enough to stall me this long. I'm sure with patience I'll break it, eventually.

Starting weight: 283 Height: 5'8" Starting BMI: 43 Goal: 150ish. I'd be happy with higher if I thought I looked and felt good. I guess it depends on where my body feels comfortable. I have been overweight all of my adult life and really, as long as I can remember. I feel like I've been on some sort of diet forever. The first diet I can remember is at the age of 16, my mother sent me to Weight Watchers. I've been on Jenny Craig, Richard Simmons. I've taken Redux and just about any over the counter "dietary supplement" known to man. I've been able to lose weight with these things but I've never been able to keep the weight off and the pounds usually bring a few friends back with them. It's really amazing when I look in the mirror. I don't think I look that bad, but when I see photos of myself I am shocked at how big I look. I'm ashamed of what I look like. I am looking foreward to the day when I have the lap band as a tool to help me keep on track. I was born with a condition known as congenital hip dysplasia (my hips weren't formed right and were dislocated). I'm told that I'm lucky to be able to walk, but I had a good doctor as a child and with many surgeries, I'm whole again. It's hard for me to participate in high impact exercise, but I walk, ride bicyle, swim and try to keep active. I enjoy reading and music. My favorite author is Stephen King. My husband and I own a travel trailer and do a lot of camping in the summer time. That keeps me active with walking and bicycling. I had my surgical consult on 1/14/05 and am currently waiting for insurance approval for adjustable gastric banding. 2/3/05 I got word that my insurance approved me for the lap band. Hooray!. 2/9/05 I've scheduled all my pre-op testing and dietician appointments. They tell me my surgery is scheduled for 4/4/05!. WOW. This is happening faster than I thought. The nurse from the office had told me yesterday that 4/4/05 was a possible date but didn't tell me they were going to schedule it. 02/11/05 I got a letter from my doctor's office and from the hospital advising me that my surgery has been scheduled for 4/4/05. What a way to notify someone. Well, at least it's official. Now the waiting game begins. I'm trying to follow the post banding diet so it won't come as such a shock for me post operatively. I'm "in training" so to speak. I think I find the no drinking with my meals and trying to time my fluid intake around my meals the hardest. 2/23/05 I had my first appointment with the office nurse who does most of the follow ups. She was doing my lap band teaching. All the pre-op, actual operative and post op advice I understood and was prepared for except for one thing. She told me to start eating with a baby spoon and a pickle fork so that I could get accustomed to small bites. I don't even know what a pickle fork is!. Is this something I'll have to do forever? I can't find anywhere on the forums where anyone has been advised this except for other patients of Dr. Duckett. I guess this will just become part of my "in training" whether I feel good about it or not. How am I gonna explain those utensils to my co-workers since I've tried to keep the whole surgery from them to begin with? 2/26/05 Had my consultation with the dietician today. It took 2 hours! Who knew it would take 2 hours to go over food? She made me feel very comfortable and she gave me a lot of hand-outs on the different types of diets should I ever stray. There's even examples of menu's. Although, that's exactly what I've been researching ever since I decided the lap band was for me. I felt very informed going in and very confidant going out. OH, and one more thing. I weighed myself today. I'm down to 272.5!. That's 9lbs gone since I've started trying to follow the lap band diet after my consultation with Dr. Duckett. WooHoo! 3/2/05 I found this on a post tonight and thought that it spoke volumes for my situation. I wanted to save it in case I forgot all the reasons I chose lap band. Once in awhile, someone will come around asking for the reasons why I chose the Band, so I'll compile my reasons here: More natural rate of weight loss: * Minimal sagging skin * No "window of opportunity" * Plenty of time to develop better eating/living habits, including exercise Least invasive surgery: * Lower rate of complications or death * Complications are easier to manage * Quicker recovery time; less painful * No cutting/rearranging of body parts * No changing the natural digestive process * No necessity of taking vitamins or supplements; I can get all I need from food Most innovative technique: * Adjustable for permanent weight-loss aid * Removable, should something more effective become available * "Cool" factor Generous but effective learning curve: * Better eating habits must be adopted from day one - no coasting * Has been labeled as "thinking person's WLS" * No punitive "dumping syndrome"; may eat like a normal person * Ability to drink normally and get in enough water * Safety-net effect; may put weight loss on hold to concentrate on other matters without gaining I never seriously considered RNY. When I heard about the Band, it was like a light bulb going on for me. By the way, I weighed myself again. 270.5! Another 2lbs gone. I don't want to get in the habit of weighing myself more than once a week, but I couldn't help myself, and I stepped on. 3/18/05 I had the upper GI and venous doppler studies today. Man, I felt like I was playing twister on that x-ray table for the upper GI. It was like, "turn left, more left, turn right, more right, now on your stomach, bend your knee, roll over." Venous doppler was a piece of cake other than the goo they use for the ultrasound. It was kind of hard to get all of it off. I haven't lost any more weight, but on the bright side, I haven't gained either. Once I'm banded, my portions will be significantly less and with the liquid diet required, I'm sure I'll get moving again. 4/2/05 I've been on the full liquid diet since 3/30/05. Sometimes I feel like I'm being tortured. I dream about food. Is that sick or what? I feel really sorry for those individuals who have to do this for longer than the 5 days I'm required to follow it. 4/6/05 I'm home and banded. I read about this gas pain, but geez it really is the worst. I'm not nauseated or anything. But the pressure in my chest and upper abdomen feels like I'm having a heart attack sometimes. I try to walk it off, but last night it was even hard to breathe. I'm trying to sip my water and eat a little at a time, but really I'm not hungry. I'm only eating out of fear that I'll get run down and not feel well if I don't. 4/8/05 Feeling better today. I've been up and about the house. The only discomfort I've had is from moving too quickly. I do have an odd sensation of bloatedness. It seems like I have it all the time. I'm trying to learn the language of the band but it's hard when everything feels like different levels of full at this point, even when I'm only consuming liquids. 4/16/05 Feeling back to my old self for the most part. I'm up and around, even starting to feel hungry. I have 2 more days of full liquids then I can move onto pureed. I can honestly say I'm really looking foreward to that as I'm getting tired of soup! I plan on going back to work on 4/18/05 and although I am physically ready, I would like more time off. Who doesn't like being home and relaxing? 4/25/05 Gee, the last week has gone by so fast, I haven't had time to blink let alone update or post. My husband's grandmother passed away on 4/18/05 so, we had to leave for Texas on very short notice. I've been on mushies and let me tell you, traveling on mushies is a difficult task. Especially to Texas where there is GREAT Tex-Mex food available. My husband's family doesn't know I had surgery, so I had to make do. I had some cold cuts, chewed really well and some very well cooked roast beef (also very well chewed). I didn't have any problems with them, other than some extra gas, but I didn't push it and tried to stay with very soft, mushy or even foods that boardered on liquids for the duration of the trip. I got on the scale today, and I've lost 3 more pounds! WOW! I never thought I would because truthfully, I didn't think I was getting enough calories in and I definately wasn't drinking enough. I've also been fortunate enough to have some sort of cold or bronchitis and haven't been feeling up to eating or drinking. I guess, I must have done something right! This journey is so unique. 5/3/05 I had read other member's NSV's but I didn't really realize the significance of them until this morning. I had dressed for work in slacks that zipped on the side. They were loose, but I didn't realize how loose they were until...I had to tinkle and when I went into the bathroom I pulled my pants down. I had absentmindedly thought that I was wearing elastic waistband pants! They came down without any problem and as I sat there, I started laughing, my husband thought I was crazy laughing there on the toilet. This has been on my mind all day and I had to share it because I've read everyone's weight loss in the first few weeks and I felt that my own weight loss was a little slower than others. (I know, we're not supposed to compare ourselves, but it's hard not to) I had resigned myself to being a slow loser. I must be losing inches and because I hadn't measured myself, I'll never know exactly how many inches I've lost. Oh well, I can feel it in my clothes and the way I move. 5/23/05 Just a quick update. Feeling good. The weight is slowly going down. 250.5 today. I think it's been 2 years since I've weighed that. Over the weekend, I cheated a little and had some Doritos. Not a lot, just maybe an ounce or 2. Just the same, shouldn't have had them. Well it's just 1 day along the road. "one day at a time" 6/5/05 I've been 248 for about a week now, just didn't update. Hope to see some more loss soon. I haven't had a fill, so I don't really have much restriction. I follow the diet and I do feel satisfied for about 3 hours. I can't say that I'm hungry a lot or "starving" or anything. Still trying hard to get all my water in every day. 6/10/05 I weighed myself today. 244.5! I've been out of town for work and I've been eating all my meals out. I feel I've made mostly good choices, a lot of grilled chicken salads though. I do log everything I eat in a program I have for my PDA, it's called Balancelog. It's O.K., although I'm sure no program's perfect. I've been staying about 1200 cal or less. :-P once in a great while I'm over, but not by much. I've also been doing better with the water because it's been so hot here. 7/18/05 I haven't updated in a while because I've been stuck for about a month. In fact, after my last post, I gained 4 lbs and had to lose them again. I've been more active with exercising and I've been doing well with my eating habits, but still I was stuck. So...I scheduled a fill. I had to convince the doctor's office nurse first, but I did it. Today was my first fill. It wasn't so bad. The doctor did it under fluoro at the hospital where I had my surgery. BUT, I'm filled to 2.8 or "just under 2.8" according to the doctor. That seems like a lot. I watched the passage of barium through the band and it went through, albeit slowly. The doctor reminded me several times to take it slow and to call anytime, day or night if I have spitting or problems. I'm a little scared. I've been on clear liquids since the fill this morning and haven't had any problems getting those down. I guess I'm just nervous. I've never had a PB and I don't want to. 7/29/05 Oh my God! Yesterday I thought I was going to die. Or at least I wished I had for a time. I've still been on mushies. The doctor told me to take it slow after that fill and I've been ever faithful to those orders mostly out of fear. I had very finely shredded tuna salad and one of those breakstone's creamed cottage cheese with fruit for lunch. It went down fine and I took my time. I had eaten both of those items before and wasn't worried. About an hour and a half afterwards, the pain started. It felt like something was stuck. I started to walk around. I even took a couple sips of water, which I know doesn't usually help but I have found it's kind of instinct. When that didn't work, I kept walking. I walked for nearly a half hour straight, sometimes leaning over a sink hoping and wishing I'd vomit for the pain to go away. I finished my work and got in my car. By this time, an hour had passed and the pain was so bad I could hardly breathe. I called my DH who called the surgeon and told me to get to the ER to be checked. The ER is an hour from my home and I was more than a half hour from my home! That drive home was the most painful torture I have ever experienced. The pain only seemed to get worse and worse. Then, about 2 miles from my house, I felt a "pop" and suddenly the pain and pressure was gone. When I got home, DH and I decided to go to the ER anyway mostly because we were scared. I had never experienced anything this extreme (nor do I again, thank you). The doc checked my band under fluoro and to my amazement, the 2.8cc he said he put in is now down to 2cc and everything is moving just fine, band has not moved. What happened to the 0.8cc? And, what the hell was all that pain? 8/13/05 Gosh how time flies. I didn't really realize that I hadn't updated my profile since "BLACK THURSDAY". I've come to the conclusion that the pain on 7/28 was probably some solid food that I hadn't chewed well enough that had gotten stuck. My Dr. thought maybe I had eaten too fast or swallowed too much air in the process, both viable possibilities. No matter what the cause, I WILL be chewing better and eating slower. I did mushies for a day or 2 after that then continued on soft foods for another week before going back to regular food. I'm doing fine now. I was amazed to find that I can still eat bread, rice, red meat, etc. I really haven't found anything that doesn't go down...yet. I haven't lost any more weight. I'm still at 234.5, but that's o.k. I feel great. I've been kind of bad at getting my water in the last couple of weeks, my work schedule has been weird. I'll get back on track and I'm sure my weight will get moving again. 8/22/05 Been doing O.K. Weighed on Friday. I'm at 232 lbs. I'm doing about a pound a week. I'm very happy with that. I'm in a size 18 comfortably right now. Today, I had to try three pairs of pants to find one that fit well enough to wear to work. The others were so big I looked bad. What can I say, I'm too cheap to buy all new just yet. I think I'm going to have to break down and buy a couple of outfits. I've been telling myself that as I got fat, I also gathered plenty of clothes that got me there. Well, I think I skipped a size or two because I can't find many in size 18 in my closet. Darn, shopping will be such a pain I'm sure. I look back and remember that when I started this journey in January and in the pic below I was in a size 24. In January that size 24 was rather snug. 9/13/05 Feeling pretty good about my weight loss. Still doing the 1-1.5lb loss per week. Went to my monthly support group meeting last night. I realized how lucky I am to be losing steady and to be going along so well. I haven't PB'd, just that "stuck" episode. I tolerate any food I put into my mouth and I have followed my rules pretty well. I try to make good choices most of the time, but I do allow myself treats. I think that's what keeps me happy and on track. I am satisfied with smaller amounts of the things I love. This is exactly what I wanted. I can eat what I want, in moderation and still lose weight. I do track my nutritional and caloric intake nearly daily (I may take a day or 2 off on a weekend, but rarely). And, I don't cheat on that log...I track everything the best that I can. I admit I could be doing better with my exercise. 228lbs. 9/22/05 Although, I generally weigh myself on Friday or Saturday I thought I'd post today because I have plans for the weekend and thought maybe I'd be too busy to post later. The last time I weighed myself I was 225lbs. That's a total of 57lbs gone. I can't say it enough...I am so pleased with my surgery and my weight loss so far. I can't even remember the last time I weighed that. I think it was more than 10 years ago to be honest. I don't feel deprived. I have more energy. My self confidance has gone up. How could it not? So many people have noticed the loss and are making comments. Lap band was the best thing I have ever done for myself and I would do it again in an instant. 10/5/05 Well, I can no longer boast that I have never PB'd. I am not proud of that fact, but here goes...Today at work I started to have that now familiar epigastric pain. I had clam chowder for lunch with a small salad and a breadstick. None of those items were new to me, so I had no fears whatsoever. About an hour after I ate, the pain started. This time I even started to sweat. I figured that I wasn't going to put up with this so...(bulemics beware) I went to the bathroom and put my finger down my throat in hopes to feel better. I only brought up mucous. This only temporarily relieved my pain, so I did this same routine 3 more times. One of those, I did bring up some undigested food. This has not been a pleasant banded day. I'm still uncomfortable, but unless I can't stand the pain I'm not doing it again. I guess it's a jello night. 10/24/05 After the last update, I went to the ER and was kept overnight for dehydration because I couldn't keep anything down. Dr. Duckett took out 1cc from my band the next day. I've been really careful ever since mostly staying with soft foods. I did have a salad over the weekend and felt pretty confidant about it. Today I PB'd again. It was the best PB I've had if that's possible. The pain started, I walked, up it came. All in all it lasted about 10 or 15 minutes. If they were all like that, I would consider it a blessing. Not that I really want them. But that torture of 7/28/05 and 10/5/05 made me want to die. I'm gonna cut this update short because I'm a little sore. I'm down to 223 lbs which is good considering my band is looser than before. 11/24/05. Wow, I forgot to check my profile and hadn't realized how llong it had been. I can remember that time like it was yesterday. I feel like the whole month of October and most of November has been brutal torture for me. I had to keep going back to liquids for one thing or another and I sincerely developed a fear of food. On 11/14/05 when it felt like I was gonna get that pain again I called the doctor's office. I didn't go into a full blown attack, but it was distracting to say the least. I felt like I was eating papaya enzyme tabs like candy in hopes to help digest whatever was the problem (although really how could tomato soup and a bit of tuna salad do that?) Dr. Duckett insisted on seeing me. On 11/17/05 I saw him and he felt that what I was having was esophogeal spasms. I suppose they may have originally been started by something getting stuck, but he felt they were caused by increased stress in my life (which I've been having A LOT of). He gave me a prescription for Valium to help calm those muscles down which I'm only supposed to take when I feel the spasms coming. So far, no more really intense ones since 10/24/05 and 10/25/05 but I fear that and would avoid that with everything in me. I've been doing much better ever since. I do have a little bit of reflux, but I think that may be from eating too late at night. I'm down to 216.5 lbs and very happy with that. I cleaned out my closet and got rid of all of the clothes that were hanging on me. That's a good feeling. 12/28/05 Well, I didn't make it to my unofficial goal of "onederland" by the end of the year but that's O.K. I've lost 69 pounds and am very happy with that. Especially considering the last three months worth of trials I've had, I'm very very happy. October started with a hospitalization for pain and inability to keep liquids down that turned out to be esophageal spasms. November was more of the same then turned into reflux that went on and on which convinced me that my band was slipped. After a long struggle with that reflux, I finally called the doctor who (I think mostly to ease my mind) checked my band under fluoro. All was well. I think he thinks I'm a nervous freak-he told my husband that once my mind was eased I should be just fine. Now, my struggle is HOLIDAY TREATS. I haven't really gained any, but I'm truly shocked. Those darn cookies will be the death of me. 2006 will be good for me. My band is in place, once I'm away from the posessed cookies that call my name I'll be fine with my choices and "onederland" here I come. Only 14 lbs to go. 1/20/05 I've been hesitant to update. Not because I'm not losing weight or anything. I've just been down in the dumps about banding. There have even been times I wish I had the damn thing out of my body. I am SICK and TIRED of having these episodes where I have pain and pressure that goes on and on. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've had it for a whole day in varying degrees. I don't have a clue what causes it. I keep track of everything I eat and NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING that I eat is consistent enough to figure out what causes this. Because the pain comes about an hour to an hour and a half AFTER I've eaten I can't say whether it's because I've eaten too fast or not chewed well enough. All I can say is that I try to pay attention at each meal, mostly out of fear. I'm averaging one of these "spasms" about once every two weeks. The doctor says it's consistent with esophageal spasms. Well, FIX IT! I'm tired of having them. I'm losing weight, but not necessarily the right way. Basically I'm starving. I'll eat normally for a week or two, then WHAMO! smasm and then it's nothing to eat for a day (or 2) but maybe tea then slowly work back up to solid foods again. 211lbs 1/30/06 Here I am, still suffering to a certain extent. A couple days after that last entry, I got fed up with the poor answer from my band surgeon to "seek counseling". I started considering the possibility that maybe these attacks were not related to my band. I saw a doctor for a second opinion and found out that I have gall stones. All of these months, at least since October, I have been suffering with gall bladder attacks. I am scheduled to have my gall bladder removed on 2/2/06. These last few weeks I have not felt well, I constantly have a sick taste in my mouth. It's kind of what I thought was reflux before. Now, I'm wondering if I had reflux at all and not some weird bile overload or even infection from the gall bladder. Who knows? I sincerely hope this gall bladder surgery solves my problems. If not, I may just have the band removed. I am tired of being sick and I'm tired of being in pain. 207 lbs 2/5/06 Well, where do I begin? I had the gall bladder surgery. They say that part went fine. Somehow during the surgery they dislocated my artificial hip. Yes, they dislocated my hip. My abdomen is sore from the gall bladder surgery. Generally, I feel better than I did before although I really don't have much of an appetite. The problem is my hip. I am not to bear any weight on it. It's been 3 years since I've dislocated it. I was doing so well. I feel really low, as if I've started all over again with my hip. I hobble around with my walker and my a$$ is really sore from sitting all the time. Weight loss is really not a priority right now, but it's amazing that when you feel so bad or are in pain it really doesn't matter. 3/24/06 Well, I'm fully recovered from the gall bladder surgery. I'm still in physical therapy for my hip. They tell me that the muscles are really weak. I'm planning on going back to work on 3/27, so I hope they're strong enough for that. Other than a little bit of pain that comes and goes, I guess I'll have to go on. I've come to the realization that all of the problems I've had since October, probably even the "black Thursday" mentioned in July 2005 was a gall bladder attack. All of those experiences were variations of the same. Any vomiting I had was only mucous and came as a last resort to relieve the pressure associated with the pain. Although I couldn't testify, I believe I have NEVER had a true PB. Is that possible? At almost 1 year out, to never PB? I would have taken a PB or 2 over the torture of those months. OH Well. Now that I can eat, I do. I'm stuck at 211lbs. Yes, I gained a couple since the gall bladder surgery, but I'm not terribly sad about it. Not happy, but not really depressed or anything. I can eat, Happy. I gained, sad. I think it's also because I'm working out with weights to strengthen muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. It's only 4lbs. I'll eventually get it off. I hope. 4/9/06 I know this is a LONG first entry for a journal, but I wanted to put my entire OH profile on here. I'm told that there's a possibility I may lose it. So...I figured I'd have it on 2 sites. What's the chances of both of them losing it? Anyway, I'm still bouncing between 210 and 211 lbs. I'm thinking that I may be experiencing my first ever real plateau. Even when I've dieted whenever my weight even slowed down I'd give up and return to my prior eating. I've been exercising more, trying to strengthen those weak hip muscles. I have had a bit of Easter candy, but I don't think enough to stall me this long. I'm sure with patience I'll break it, eventually.

Please don't be scared! I promise - it's nothing that would keep me from going back. It just wasn't what I had expected. It's no more pain that a lidocaine shot normally is, it's just that for me, it kept going and going. Robin - we have similar weightloss trends. I've *always* lost a bunch up front, then hit looong plateaus after. Even on WW I lost about 20# in my first week. A lot of people seem to lose weight steadily, so that they see a difference each week. Not me, and I'd much rather have it the other way. On Atkins, which was when I last lost significant weight (120#) I'd go weeks with nothing, then the scale would show 9# lost overnight, then nothing for 2 weeks, then 2#, then nothing, then over the next 3 days I'd total 17#... Once I stalled for 4 months (I weighed 315 in March and said I'd give myself until July 4 to be anywhere under 300). Didn't lose a pound come July. Gave up on the scale. Got it back out in September and was about 298. Got it out a week later and was about 290. And BTW you were right about him having to palpitate. It took him at least two or three minutes to decide he'd found the right place, then it felt like he marked it with a pen, went to the counter, came back with the needles and had at it. I'm supposed to call Billy in 3 weeks and check-in with her re: to fill or not to fill. It was reassuring that he took so much time to really think over whether or not to fill me!

I don't post often but lurk almost daily. I am almost 2 years out, lost 50 lbs the first year and 30 so far this year. I have always been a slow looser and I have to work hard at it. There have been 2 times when I stalled for 2 months or so. (total bummer, but I did not let it get to me, I kept going) Anyway recently I was laid off from my job.....last time I was not working was in 1983 or so, so this is completely forien to me. (and scary) But I have learned that anytime you make a major change in your life it is easier to change other things, I guess because it is in the air. So I did not have to eat Breakfast before I went to work cause I did not have to go to work, there was no standard "lunch time" either. So I was not eating because I was not hungry and my scheduled eating times went out the window. I AM NOW ONLY EATING WHEN I AM HUNGRY, NOT BASED ON MY SCHEDULE FOR EATING! I know a lot of us have talked about the clean plate club and all, but now it has hit me in the face. And what about the 3 squares a day? I have come to the realization that my estimate of what one normal person needs to eat in a day is seriously to much. I would like to see laid out on a table how much say a 150 lb person should eat in a day, and how often. After thinking about this alot I also realized that I have had the idea of three square meals a day drilled into my head and that it is just not necessary. Not my idea of a meal anyway.:nervous And then I recall my little sister being made to sit at the dinner table till it was bed time because she did not finish her food. I had finished mine and I am very large, but my sister now at 45 years old is still 120 lbs and had 2 children. I love my sister and we are best of friends now but it was really hard growing up overweight with 6 very normal brothers and sisters. My point in all of this is that this revelation has now helped me begin to loose again, 5 lbs last week! In fact over the holidays at one point I began feeling ill and could not figure out what it was, well I was not eating enough because of everything going on. I had not had enough time to eat, I had to start stopping myself to take time to eat so I do not get that low again. I have always kept myself well fed I had never felt this way before. The moral of this story is to change it up. (my thinking, my routine and my mothers rules) This has helped me learn more about my eating habits and begin to turn the tide on my unrealistic food thoughts. Hope this will help someone else, best to all. Trish

I'm three weeks out...I have lost 18lbs since surgery, but that was in the first 2 weeks on liquids. I've currently been stalled for a week. My poor nutritionist had to listen to me go on and on in panic mode just earlier today. I am eating around 700 calories a day...though I'm thinking of adding a protien shake just go get my protien up to about 60 instead of the 45 its at now. I exercise 5 days a week for 60-70 minutes at a time. So I'm burning a little less than half the calories I'm taking in at the gym. I'm frustrated right now, because I don't see how I can't be loosing weight. The body is a crazy thing. Before surgery I worried..how will I ever be able to keep up current activities on such low calories. It hasn't been an issue. I think part of it was that even though I was eating around the 2000 calories a day and maintaining...alot of thos calories were empty calories. I eat VERY clean now...if something has NO protien...or has too many carbs, or too much sugar....I don't eat it. So even though I'm eating almost 1/3 of the calories I used to, the calories I eat now are qaulity calories. Melissa

Do you know if they did a fill? They usually don't as far as I know, but each doc is different. I am supposing that you did not get a fill and after three weeks most of the swelling and inflammation of the stoma(where the band goes around stomach) which might mean that your intake of calories has increased without your realizing it. Are you hungry more often? Probably so, that's normal. If you did get a fill, then you may be experiencing several things, if exercising you could be gaining lean muscle mass, and muscle weighs more than fat. Or your body is simply readjusting and there is a temporary stall in weight loss, it happens sooner or later to all of us. Are you following the protein first, then veggies, then good carbs rule for eating? If not you may want to adjust your menu. Sorry, I can't think of anything else, unless of course it's that time of the month and you are having a water retention problem. Good luck, hang in there, the scale will eventually move! Cindy

I agree that the newbie info section threads should be locked, per my suggestion under my "Newbie Info Section" post, http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5699 http://lapbandtalk.com/showpost.php?p=60595&postcount=5[/url] I'm not against a problem section, but if people are really navigating the site specifically by sections I think they'll miss a lot of posts because I personally would be inclined to post my problem under "support". And if we break "Problems" out of support, than what is "Support" limited to? Exercise, nutritional and emotional? In the newbie section (that I envision) there will be a section for problems with the band with links to stories in the main forums on slippage, port problems, erosion, etc. As people post new stories about these things the moderators can be requested to add particularly interesting links/stories to the newbie link section. The more I work on my newbie doc, the more it seems to really be a small index of LBT posts, with some basic info thrown in - or a dynamic book on banding. I think when I have something worth reviewing I'll present it in html format as a link to my website so this is not something that was created JUST by me with the posts I think are helpful. That is not my intent. This is my unorganized, unfinished, work in progress outline for the eventual(?) newbie section. Probably much broader than it needs to be at the moment - the outline would be the main thread, and each outline item would either link to a set, seperate post within the newbie section, or link to active links in the "regular" forum. Some of the written-out text will be part of the seperate post resource in that section: Getting Started How to Navigate this site (LBT) Terms of Agreement/User Guidelines User CP Profiles Safety on the Internet Avatars Signature Lines 305/205/135 Weightloss Tickers First Stop Introductions Who are you? Where are you in the process? What are your questions? What are your fears? How much do you want to lose? Searching Regular Advanced Etiquette "rules" of polite posting eg:capital letters is yelling, etc. Posting areas Hijacking Posting New Threads Replying to Existing Threads Posting Photos Jazzing up your posts Bananas, smilies, etc. Color Fonts Font size Quoting Bold Italics FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) Acronyms, Abbreviations, Lingo Various common questions Would you do it again? would you still choose the band over the bypass or other surgeries? What was the pain really like? what has been the hardest part of the WLS, what has been the easiest? what is the one thing that has helped you be successful? Resources Personal Site Links Professional Site Links books Types of Adjustable Gastric Bands Lapband (Inamed/Bioenterics) Inamed site link Swedish Band (Johnson & Johnson) http://www.ethiconendo.com/morbid.jsp http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=6035 MidBand (French) http://www.midband.fr/mid_anglais/present.htm Adjustable Gastric Band vs RnY What Can Go Wrong? http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=659 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2213 Port Problems http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4268 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4268&highlight=poking http://lapbandtalk.com/showpost.php?p=12985&postcount=106 Leaks Leak Stories Reflux Reflux Stories Slippage Slippage Stories Erosion Erosion Stories Blockage Blockage Stories Complication Stats for the Lapband Weightloss Stats for the Lapband Who Usually Qualifies? Insurance Jumping through hoops General requirements Fighting denials Insurance stories How do I decide where to have it done? Your Insurance Pays Available Docs for your Insurance Plan Inamed Link to Approved Docs Your Insurance WON’T Pay Price Experience Location Considerations for Surgery outside of the country Hospital Used Follow-up Care Maintenance Getting Fills Additional Costs Mexico Info (need of passports, language barriers, phones) Europe Info http://euroband.co.uk/surgeons.htm http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5795 Keys to success with banding The bandster “rules” Changing your lifestyle forever Water Exercise Mindsets Before Surgery Research, Research, Research Site Links (individual sites and informational sites) Emotions How are my emotions tied to my eating habits? Exercises in separating emotional hunger from physical hunger. http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=434 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=865 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=899 Addiction transference Preparing emotionally for: Reduced food intake Changing relationships with food http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?p=64868#post64868 Shifting of relationship dynamics Losing weight Receiving compliments Buying smaller sizes Letting go of stuff that’s too big Jealousy Sabotage Self Others Society in general Challenges in the workplace Getting “personal” Attention They’re hitting on me!! I can feel them looking at me Now everyone wants to be my friend Everyone wants to know how I’m doing it Backwards compliments Fears I won’t be able to eat my favorite foods I won’t be able to eat in quantity I won’t be able to eat out People will notice how I eat What if something goes wrong? My relationships will change I will change Support Why do I need support? Who do I tell? Where do I get support? Shopping Stocking up on liquids for the first 2-4 weeks What’s a clear liquid? What’s a full liquid? The eating stages Clear Liquids Full Liquids Mushies Back to “normal” When can I eat “normal” again? The Surgery What to bring to the hospital Expected Length of Hospital Stay Surgery Stories After the Surgery Initial diet restrictions, and why Clear liquids Full liquids Mushies “Regular” food Is this normal? I’m hungry I’m not losing weight I make new noises My shoulder hurts THIS is “natural” gas??? Expected Recovery Time When Can I: Shower Drive Pick-up my Children Have sex Eat real food Swim Soak in the Jacuzzi Go diving Exercise Go back to work Take my vitamins/medications Post surgical pain, gas, Food Shopping list for Liquids Clears Full Shopping list for Mushies recipes How much water? How much Protein? Vomiting (Productive Burping, Productive Belching, “PB”) Why to avoid at all costs #1 cause of slippage Stomach trauma and resulting restriction After the PB When “normal” life resumes General Do’s and Don’ts How much should I be eating? How can I tell when I’m full? What should I be eating? Tubing issues Leaks Poking out Repairing Tubing Stories Port issues Flipping Hard to find Uncomfortable Port Stories Fills When can I get one? How much? How often? How many? How do I know when I need one? Price? Blind (non-Fluoro) vs Fluoro How’s it done? Pain After the fill When does it kick in? Am I too tight? Am I too loose? Fill Stories Should I wear a medical bracelet? pills, Vitamins Aftercare Problem foods Dry White meats Clogging Breads Breading Nuts Fibrous Asparagus Fruit skins Swells with liquid Rice Noodles Bulking Laxatives Chunky after chewing eggs Rubbery Shellfish Carbonated Soda Beer Champagne Seltzer Food Stories Can I still: Fly? Dive? Bungee jump? Diet? Have healthy pregnancies? Etc. **********end of outline, beginning of seperate posts************** Exercise Ideas: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5556 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5233 1. Walk the dogs. (and if you don't have one, ask your neighbor if you can walk theirs!) 2. Park your car in the farthest available spot. Not only do you get the exercise walking into the store/mall/whatever but your car won't ever get dinged. (this one is my favorite!) 3. If you have stairs in your house, climb them! Up down up down! (the person that messaged me said that when she does laundry, she puts a load of clothes at the top of the stairs, then has allowed herself to take ONE piece down at a time, therefore having to do the "stairmaster" while getting house chores done, she says it is fun and makes a game of it and the break from the bottom of the stairs to the washer allows her to "break" and get her breath back) 4. Mow the lawn(great for legs/arms), pick weeds (good for legs but don't use your back!), gardening (great for upper arms) 5. Wax the car (great for arms/back/shoulders) Wax on.... wax off... 6. Mall walking (it is free, comfy and lots to see... and I guess there are actual mall walker clubs you can join!) 7. Hiking in woodland trails, nature trails or mountains (each city or area should have maps, check with the visitor center) 8. Bicyling 9. Pilates at Home 10. Using a chair for lifts/dips/pushups 11. Play mind games... for example, you tell yourself that the mailbox at your driveway but you are not "allowed" to get to it except by approaching from one side or the other therefore you must walk around the block to get to it. (yeah, this one seems a bit strange to me too but hey, if it works, I appreciated the suggestion!) 12. Jumprope 13. Fly fishing (I was like whaaaaaaaa? when I first saw this but then they explained all of the upper body strength it needed and I was like, oh.) 14. Sweep the sidewalk/driveway. (It gets you moving and uses upper body for the sweeping motion as well as cleans off your driveway! Once you are done, you are wanting to do more!) 15. Go to Vegas baby! Walk the strip and people watch!!! (woo hoo, I like this idea) 16. Never take the elevator, use the stairs! No matter how high, tell yourself you are not to take the elevator. (this person also said he uses this with money: tells himself he is never allowed to buy or pay with change, therefore spends $2.00 when something is $1.10 and gets .90 in change, then pockets it in a change jar and has booookooooo bucks at the end of the year and buys himself something he wouldn't normally have spent the money on!) 17. Visit the botanical gardens/nature centers/zoos etc.... 18. Vacation while you exercise!! Pick places like the Grand Canyon and hike down. (this one didn't exactly sound free to me though lol ) 19. Stand or walk in place while watching TV. 20. Volunteer. It may not be all out exercise but you get out and get moving just by volunteering and you do something for others. Habitat for Humanity is one volunteer organization that will really exercise you while doing something great for other people in need! (i love this idea too!) The doctor requires me to lose weight before surgery. Help! http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5307 03-01-2005, 07:47 AM Nykee Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Age: 34 Posts: 51 HI MOM111 I also went to Dr. Ortiz at the Obesity Control Center 14 days ago. I love him, I cant say enough good things about him. He spent so much time in my room talking to me and not just about the lapband but just conversation.. HE TREATS YA SO WELL!!!!! And YES about the weightloss.. I was told to loose 40 to 60 pounds, and if i didnt I would NOT be able to have the surgery. They were very adamant, they said the doctor can ge in there and see if there is too much fat on the liver, its not safe and he will pull out. I had less than a month and a half to lose it too!!!!!!!!!! I paniced.. I thought it was impossible... BUT, THIS WAS MY ONLY CHANCE!! I had been waiting for this for too long! I had the money, I had the plane seats bought, I had my sister who lives in another state all ready to go with me.. HOW could I NOT lose it!!!! The whole time I was paniced. I felt desperate and affraid that I woulnt loose enough. Maybe they would get inside and my liver wasnt shrunk enough and they pulled out, and I still had to pay some fee's!!! BUT I did it. I lost 40 pounds in less than a month and a half! NOW.. I DID throw up my food a few times. I cheated and ate at Izzys one day, felt extremely scared and powerless and I just puked it out, then I did it again twice with chinese food. I DO NOT RECCOMEND THIS OF COURSE!! And I am sure it would have made only a slight difference, like 5 pounds maybe, I dunno. It was dum of me to do! HOW I REALLY LOST SO MUCH WAS: I ate low carb. During that time my 129 pound daughter lost 7 pounds by also eating low carb. Now My cousin has lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks doing a low carb diet. (she is now 156#) You CAN lose 15 pounds in three weeks if you low carb diet!! LOW meaning under 20 carbs a day! If you do not know much about Low carb dieting, you really do not have much time to figure it out, there are A LOT!!! of things that you can misunderstand or mess up with unless you know it well. BUT IT DOES WORK..and I did NO EXtRa excersize at all (I cant) PM me.. if you need advice.. I can give you a 3 week menu and list of foods you can eat and all that... and YOu can start right away. I promise if you follow it, you will loose AT LEAST 10 pounds! Arm Exercises: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5556 Why I’m fat: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=890 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4750 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5223&page=1&pp=15 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5726 Incisions: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=895 Fills: When do I need one? We do need to remember that hitting a plateau is not necessarily an indication that it's time for a fill. Since this would be your first fill (I am assuming), it probably is time, but I'm going to put this out there just for posterity's sake: When is it time for a fill? First, let's assume you are following the following principles: a. No drinking with meals b. Eating solid foods I personally think getting in all your water and water loading is important too, but that's maybe more of a personal philosophy than a hard and fast rule, like "a" and "b" above. If "a" and "b" are not true, you need to make them true before analysing whether it's time for a fill or not. 1. Are you hungry less than 3 hours after eating solid foods? 2. Do you no longer reach satiety when you eat about 1200 calories a day? 3. Has weight loss stalled for more than 4 weeks? #1 and #2 are the more important indicators of whether or not someone needs a fill. If you are eating mostly nutritious foods, but need to consume more food than you think you should to satisfy hunger AND you are not losing weight, then it is time for a fill. When is it NEVER time for a fill? It is NEVER time for a fill if you are experiencing PBs or acid reflux. If you are experiencing these two things at your current level of restriction, getting another fill will only make it worse. And, repeat after me: PBs/vomiting are the NUMBER ONE cause of slippage. Acid reflux leads to esophagitis which can cause obstruction, lead to pre-cancerous conditions, and a lot of pain besides, and is treated by EMPTYING the band. If that doesn't help, you may have to lose your band until you are healed. Ways to avoid nighttime reflux - stop eating 3-4 hours before bedtime. Avoid acid promoting foods in the evening, like caffeine and chocolate and spicy foods. Fill Stories: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5508 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=756 Addiction transference: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5730 Reflux: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2027 I would do everything you can to avoid the once a month reflux - it will add up. You probably know the reflux avoidance guidelines (in order of least to most aggressive): 1. Do not over eat. 2. Avoid acid producing foods/drinks, like caffeine, chocolate, peppermint, orange juice, spicy food. 3. Do not lie down after eating (I think they recommend a 3 hour wait?) 4. Do not eat or drink 3 hours before bedtime. 5. Take an OTC med to control reflux. 6. Elevate the head of the bed (helps keep the esophagus above the stomach so there's no backflow). 7. Get a slight unfill. Ways to avoid nighttime reflux - stop eating 3-4 hours before bedtime. Avoid acid promoting foods in the evening, like caffeine and chocolate and spicy foods. Recovery: pain survey - Julie H, 11-5-2003 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=946 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1337 Life with the band: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=975 Would you do it again? http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=488 http://lapbandtalk.com/showpost.php?p=57938 Mushie Foods: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?p=57940 Gas: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=3671 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?p=57956 Protein: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5634 Protein sources: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=3498 Protein Shakes: Hi Penni - I like your site. I just have to comment on the following, though: Quote: Protein shakes are a must to keep the protein in your diet. You can get protein from fresh vegetables as well in the form of juices after this surgery. Protein shakes are NOT required by bandsters once they get to the eating solid food stage. It is always recommended to eat real food that stays in your pouch longer and helps keep you feeling full. Since we do not have a malabsorptive-type procedure like the RnY, we are able to utilize all the calories and nutrients of what we eat, just like before surgery. For people who are too tight in the mornings to eat real food, protein shakes can be helpful, but for the most part are not needed. For people who do choose to use protein shakes, for whatever reason, they should replace the meal, not be in addition to it, unless one is having troubles meeting their caloric goals (in which case you are probably adjusted too tightly, and could benefit from a slight unfill). And I know of no vegetable or fruit juice that would be considered a good source of protein. It is recommended that all caloric liquids be avoided, which is why drinking juice is not recommended, as it is a high calorie liquid that passes through the pouch and again, does nothing to help generate the full feeling. Even for people who are not banded who are watching their weight, physicians recommend eating whole fruit as opposed to drinking juice for that very reason. I picked up a brochure from Dr. Lopez's office once while I was there, and it had a color xerox cover with the Oasis Hospital logo on it. Inside were supposed guidelines for patients who had the lapband. I have to tell you, that article was taken WORD for WORD from an RnY doctor's article, which was written specifically for gastric bypass patients. The word "lapband" had been substituted everywhere the word gastric bypass appeared in the original article. The post-op protocol for the RnY is drastically different from the post-op protocol for the lapband. The only thing they have in common is the liquid diet post op. But even that is shorter for lapbanders, and not restricted in quantity, like it is for the RnYers - there is no drinking a thimble-full of Protein shake every hour directly after post-op, like the RnYers are required to do. The only other similarity between the two is the longterm strategy of how to use the pouch to its fullest advantage - eating solid food, not drinking with meals, waterloading prior to meals, and avoiding gastric irritants like Aspirin, Advil, and other NSAIDs. Also, it is NOT expected that a bandster lose 30-45 pounds in the first month. That is a gastric bypass stat. The expected average weightloss with the band is 1-2 pounds a week. I'm not sure if this pirated booklet is where you got these impressions, but just felt I should pass on this info to you. Oh, and just in case you were given the bypass info instead of the band info, there is no "window of opportunity" for weightloss with the band. With the RnY, it is expected that weightloss pretty much stops 18-24 months out. That's how long it takes the body to adjust and compensate for the malabsorptive part of the bypass. For Bandsters, our band will continue to be a tool in our weightloss journey - there are bandsters 4-5 years out who have continued to lose weight with the band. Slow Losers: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5928 After the band: Pain: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?p=59405 Behaviour: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5810 Regrets: http://lapbandtalk.com/showpost.php?p=59410&postcount=39 How do I know when I’m full? http://lapbandtalk.com/showpost.php?p=60184&postcount=5 Lots of people experience the "full" feeling differently. Since your band is empty, it is possible that once you start on solid foods you will feel little to no restriction. Since the feeling of restriction, however, can change day to day (sometimes hour to hour!), it is always important to take small bites, chew well, swallow, and then WAIT before going on to the next bite so you can have a chance to feel how the last bite is settling. It is inevitable that you will eventually learn just how small your pouch really is... However, you can postpone that experience longer by taking small bites, chewing well, swallowing, and then waiting. This is NOT how most people eat, so you will be surprised at the learning curve!! Okay, once you swallow, and are waiting, this is what you're looking for, sensation-wise - you may get all or just one of these signals that you are either "full" or are eating too fast/chewing too poorly: 1. STUCK. Okay, that's not a very good description, but as soon as you feel this you WILL KNOW what "STUCK" feels like. Your eyes will get big, you will freeze in mid-chew, and you will feel an awful pain high in your chest, way in the bottom of your throat. DO NOT PANIC!!! DO NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT take a sip of liquid!! DO NOT SWALLOW!!!! Sit there calmly and try to breathe normally. When people ask you what's wrong, you will not feel as though you can talk - if you can squeeze out a few words, your voice will sound raspy and strained. Sometimes standing up will be enough to help things move down a little bit. IF you start salivating, you need to get to a bathroom. DO NOT SWALLOW YOUR SALIVA!!! Spit it out. Lots of times you will feel stuck for only a few seconds before the offending bit passes, IF YOU ARE EATING SLOWLY AND PAYING ATTENTION AND CHEWING WELL. However, sometimes the offending bit will not pass, and it will either come back up on its own, or you will have to force yourself to vomit. This is often NOT a full feeling! It IS an indication that you are swallowing too much, too fast, and/or are not chewing well enough OR that you have taken one bite too many. Once you become unstuck you can think enough to evaluate how much you have eaten, and whether or not you were being careless, or just missed the more subtle signs that you're full. STUCK is considered a "hard stop", whereas the more subtle feelings described later are considered "soft stops." The goal, of course, is to learn your personal soft stops and heed them. 2. A hiccough. Many people will have one daintly little hiccough when they are full. When you're full your stomach may be pressing up on your diaphragm and irritating it a little bit, which translates into a hiccough. 3. A sigh. Many people will heave a little sigh after that last bite that makes them full. You THINK you're thinking about the next bite, and you'll be loading up that fork... But you're not putting it into your mouth. That's when you realize that you're full. One more bite, and you may suffer the dreaded STUCK feeling. 4. A runny nose. Many people's noses will unexplicably start running. If you were fine when you started eating, and now your nose is running, it's probably time to stop eating. Or you are eating something really, really spicy/hot! 5. A general pressure. Some people will feel a similar feeling to "full", just a little higher. It's a little disconcerting at first, because your lower stomach may still be growling, but your pouch is sending you pressure/full feelings. 6. Port pain. Your port may start aching. My theory as to why is that the pressure of the food is pressing against the saline in the band, which forces the saline out towards the tubing, which starts to straighten a little under pressure, which torques the port a little bit. Like a garden hose turned on full blast with the sprayer closed - it tries to straighten out, right? That's just my theory. But whatever the true reason is, if your port starts bugging you after you start eating, you may be full. 7. Shoulder pain. Some people's left shoulder starts to ache a little bit. This is referred pain from pressure on the diaphragm. When you're full your stomach may be pressing up on your diaphragm and irritating it a little bit, which translates into shoulder pain. Your soft stop may be something entirely different, but these are the most common sensations/behaviours reported. Take it slow, but you may not experience any of these until you start getting fills. When can I eat “normal” again? http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1965 Pregnancy and the band: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2031 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4747 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=89 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2203 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=127 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4689 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4409 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1919 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2190 Does everyone have a great story? http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5396 How has your relationship with food changed? http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4275 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?p=64868 hair loss: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4799 Extra skin? http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5132 Painful empty stomach: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5793 Bandster Portion: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=5787 Making/Posting your weightloss ticker: http://www.tickerfactory.com/WeightLoss/weight_loss.php?type=3 1. Go to the link above and make your ticker. 2. Go to the bbCode box and right click on mouse and hit Select All then right click again and select Copy 3. Go back to LBT, click on User CP and under Settings & Options choose Edit Signature 4. Click in the signature block where you want the ticker to go, right click and select Paste You can preview your signature, or select Save to save your signature( it will look like a bunch of letters until you save it) Your new signature line will now show on all your existing posts, and all your new posts. To edit/update your ticker: 1. Click the ticker in one of your posts, or go to User CP, Edit Signature, Preview Signature and click on the ticker there. 2. The ticker page should open up. 3. Click on the Back button and revise your numbers. 4. Click on the Next button. 5. Go back to LBT and delete the existing ticker. 6. Repeat steps 2- 4. The Sweet Spot: http://www.geocities.com/michellojackson/NOT_AT_SWEET-SPOT.html NOT AT SWEET SPOT? Robin, CoffeeWench this is from another board from a girl who was in the FDA trials she has been banded 3 years has lost 140 pounds... This is a recurrent theme on all lists, so let's just address it. The Lapband was designed with a purpose. To be emptied if we ever needed to be able to eat fairly normally again. I say "fairly" normally because even with no Fluid it usually cuts our portions at least some. But mostly this is because we haven't been forced to superchew our food yet. Now, we understand this purpose when we go into it. But it doesn't really SINK IN until we're actually healed from our liquid phase (or even before that) and we decide to TEST THE BAND. And we can STILL eat!!! And we PANIC! And we convince ourselves we're doomed to fail! And we stress out and eat more. And maybe gain back some of the weight we lost during the liquid phase. We're convinced the band that seems to have worked for thousands of others isn't going to work for us. That we're some freak of nature that is going to be fat for all eternity. It's normal to feel this way. Really. You're coming down from the drama and high of the surgery into the day to day boring liquids and you expect to start really losing some weight. I mean, you had surgery didn't you???? Well don't expect much until you're restricted. Use this time to HEAL. See ANY weight loss before your first really good fill as a BONUS and NOT a given, okay???? If you're lost weight, consider yourself that far ahead. There are some lucky ones who experience great restriction out the door. Most are in between and some experience none (like me). You're NOT GOING TO FAIL. Your tummy is healing. It's anchoring that band in place so that it won't slip. If you've had one fill and you need another, make it your priority to get one. Otherwise you're just spinning your wheels. I've had my band so tight that a couple of sips of coffee and ONE bite of a strawberry make me so full I'm on the verge of barfing for hours. I've had it so tight that chewing gum was too much for me because swallowing all that saliva was causing it to back up. Right now I'm kind of at a happy medium. When you get your band to that "just right" spot a switch goes off in your brain about food. You stop caring about it. I'm serious. Suddenly you have to come to grips with the fact that you just CANNOT eat like you once did. And that has a lot of issues unto itself but it comes with the reward of weight loss so it doesn't leave you feeling as vulnerable and schitzy as the prefill stage does. If you're still healing and haven't lost much weight--please try to just get through this time and preoccupy yourself with other things.Did you know that Dr. Fox in Seattle prescribes his band patients diet pills to take during the prefill stage? Why? He understands the difficulty. He feels it's better to kill the appetite chemically while the band heals that subject his patients to all that stress. And he happens to have one of the highest band success rates in the country.And as always, it's better to ADD to your habits then to try to take away. Add more water, more vitamins, more exercise. But don't try to take away food because it throws you into dieting mentality. Adding will naturally balance out the other problem.Just my thought for the night and now I'm finally going to bed. It's a good thing I type 100+ words a minute robin this is a reply from robin: And it is my pleasure to try to reassure you all. I remember 2 things from my prefill stage--how utterly depressed I was thinking the band wasn't going to work and how totally alone I believed I was in my experience. The last 2 years has proven to me that I was more the "norm" that I possibly could have imagined and had my doctor or SOMEONE let me know this from the getgo I would have felt like it was just a neccessary part of the process and would have gotten through it with a more realistic outlook. Let's just say I wouldn't have beaten myself up the way I did. Robin i hope this helps! michelle Removal Stories: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4992 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2406 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2475 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2311 After Unbanding: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2511 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4299 Erosion Info: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2256 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2725 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2250 http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showth...=&threadid=2274 Erosion stories: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2298 Metabolism: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1055 Port Revision Stories: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=933 Restriction Fluctuations: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1554 One Year Updates: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1318 Strategies for Keeping the Weight Off: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2288 Last Supper Syndrome: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2311 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=6107 It’s not a magic band: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=6106 Food Addiction: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2311 http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2715 Understanding Morbid Obesity: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=4750 Food Stories: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=832 Barium Swallow Pics: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=6011 Varicose Veins and Treatment: http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=6027 Thoughts As Surgery Approaches http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=6034

First, your weight loss is totally on target. Then, a plateau cannot happen in three weeks. You're not on a plateau until you've stalled for months. (Focus on what you've lost per month, not per week or per day.) Finally, I think we put WAY too much effort focusing on getting to certain numbers by certain dates. Say we DO get to some magic number by some special date. And, then what? We won't be "done" with our "diet." That's the way we used to think...."if I can lose these x-number-of pounds, then I can go off my diet/fit in the dress/ whatever." But this is forever. You just need to keep on keeping on. You have done great. And you're on target. Try not to rush things. That's when we get fills that are too tight (or taking silly drugs or going on silly diets) and end up damaging things.

I'll probably be posting a "bandiversary" post on the 20th, but in the meantime I'll stick my answers to this poll here as well. if you have progress pics... ATTACH THEM!!! See thread called "A Chance to Compare" pre-op weight lost: In the year before surgery, I lost 30 lbs. Then I got a surgery date and in the next two months gained 7 on the last-supper diet. day of surgery weight: 317. My highest non-pregnancy weight was 340, about a year before surgery. 1 year post weight: 253 today. total fills: 3 fills so far total fill amount: Don't know, don't care. A little more than last time. ever been filled to tight? No, although restriction has taken me by surprise sometimes days or weeks after a fill. But it's never been uncomfortably tight. ever vomited when restricted? how was it? I have PB'd five or six times. It's very unpleasant, but not painful, nor is any nausea involved. Once it's over, I felt fine. any complications? No, thanks be. Everything has been smooth as silk! (Knock wood.) do you think your to tight? to loose or just right? All three. I'm a little too tight in the mornings, lunch time is perfect, and a little too loose in the evenings. But that's just life with the band. longest plateau? I normally stall for three or four weeks at a time and then lose several pounds at once. If I worried about plateaus I'd have been hauled off to the funny farm long ago. how often do you exercise? For the last 6-7 months I've been working out regularly three or so times a week.

OK, I've been stalled for a few weeks and I'm wondering why this is...my restriction varies...really tight to normally tight so I really don't want to get a fill right now... My question to you is do you eat only when hungry...I've been eating three times a day because I should...not because I was hungry...but I'm concerned I won't get enough calories in if I don't eat... Let me know your thoughts.

Yesterday I had a conversation with the person at my doctor's office who schedules people for fills. What she told me got me wondering what other people's experiences have been. My surgeon told me early on that we'd schedule fills when my weight loss dropped to less than 1-2 lbs a week for a period of three or four weeks. That's fine, that's exactly what I'd understood would be the yardstick. But yesterday I was told that their definition of "stalled" weight loss was more like 3 to 4 MONTHS without loss. Huh? I managed to convince them that I was ready for my first fill, since the 17 - 19 lbs I've lost so far all came off in the first three weeks. I've been "stalled" for four weeks now and next week it will be five. And the facility that does fills only does them on one day a month. So if I didn't do it now I'd have to wait until "fill day" in November. I'd rather have several weeks to accustom myself to a new restriction level than several days, with the holidays coming and all. In any event, the basic facts that: a) the band needs to be filled to work, and that each person feels a fill level differently, and c) it may be necessary to "sneak up" on the right level of restriction all seem to not be part of the equation. And I've heard the same comments from patients of many other doctors. So why is that? What do you think is behind the common reluctance to schedule adjustments? I presume it's not the surgeon doing the adjusting, so what's the big deal? They don't balk if you want an office visit just to say hi, and that's almost as much trouble! OK, vent over. I'm glad to be looking forward to my first fill, but frustrated to know that no matter what it will be months before I can have it tweaked if necessary. This journey may be longer than I'd planned.

I was banded in May. I lost about 19 pounds in the first two weeks on the liquid diet...and then stalled, even gaining five pounds back. Very discouraging, since it seemed like many others who got banded at the same time I did were losing much more. So I had a fill four weeks ago, and it didn't seem to make that much of a difference in what I could eat...BUT I had a weigh-in today and discovered I've gone down another 11 pounds in the past month! Wow, 11 pounds gone with hardly any effort...that's a first for me. The net weight loss now stands at 25 pounds, which seems about right for three months post-op. It is so exciting and such a relief to finally see the scale going down. For those of you who are still waiting to get filled, don't get discouraged! Patience definitely pays off.