Shae

I've noticed all of the same things others posted have noted. However, I don't think it all has changed just because the world is shallow and I am now thin. I can look back now and see that I was not "open" to strangers and probably didn't put out very friendly vibes. The new me is a happy ray of sunshine. I often wonder how much of the nice gestures stem from weightloss and how much could be attributed to my general postive change in demeanor.

I have some of the same emotions that you are going through. I became addicted to apples in the 7th grade, was a smoker by 8th grade, have been on and off various drugs, and finally when I got myself together and quit everything except cigarettes on 9/9/99, I turned my addiction to food in general. It got really bad when I quit smoking 12/17/2003. I finally figured out what it was about four years ago. I was surfing the web eating what was once a family size bag of Doritos and came across a WeightWatchers ad. I "thought" that I might try it because at that time I was 226 lbs. That thought led to anxiety and although I had already eaten most of the bag of Doritos, I felt starving. That was the moment that I knew I had transferred my addiction.
12 step programs are not my thing but they work for some. What has worked for me is the knowledge that I will always be a food addict or an addict of something. I just need to try to get addicted to something beneficial to me or someone else. Now the question is what...
Counseling has helped me alot. I have found that seeing a LCSW rather than a Psychiatrist or Psychologist is more beneficial. They seem to be more interested in helping you rather than pushing this product or that med or this book, etc. But the key is finding someone you can connect with. It is very hard to do.
I can tell you with authority that beating yourself up and being down on yourself will only make things worse. You need to try to wake up one morning and just do the following:
1. Go immediately to the mirror and proclaim as loud as you can, "I AM BEAUTIFUL! I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO! I AM STRONG!" (or something to that effect. You will feel a little silly at first but then you will believe it.
2. Let yourself cry and mourn the loss of the person you use to be pre-surgery. Sounds silly I know, but you divorced the pre-surgery person when you had most of your stomach removed. If you have not let go of the old you, your new you cannot shine through.
3. If you know that you are going to crave something, don't allow it in your house (or at least not in an area of the house that you occupy). I have a teenage son who is 5'11" and all of 125lbs soaking wet. He has to keep his high calorie stuff in his room so that I do not have to see it.
4. You did this for you.
I don't have all the answers and Lord knows I have my moments, but we all have to realize that they are just that, moments. They do not define us.
I hope that this helps!
Shae

"I'm pretty aware of how much I can and cannot eat now and simply stop--there will be more food available later if I need it." I don't know your name and the "Quote" thingy didn't work right but this was such a simple sentence, yet it has PROFOUND meaning for me.
I grew up poor, really poor. There were times where I went to bed hungry and only got to eat at school. We fished on the weekend but if they were not biting, we didn't eat. We didn't qualify for assistance because my parents had a shrimp boat. Didn't matter that it was sunk in the canal behind our house. When we did have food in the house, there was no wasting. If it was on your plate, you ate it no matter how full you were. This went on from as early as I can remember until I was about eight years old and my Mom got her Nursing degree. By then, the "eat it all no matter what" mentality was stuck.
In my adult life, I have never been in this situation. My parents instilled in me a solid work ethic and a strong desire for a higher education so that I would never be in that situation. However, the thought never crossed my mind that "there will be more food available later if I need it". I am in tears now (trying to hide it from my co-workers) because this makes perfect sense to me. There is a ton of food in my house so I will never go hungry. Why would I continue to worry that there won't be any??
Now the question is how to turn it off? How do you change the way you have thought about food for your entire life?

I have some of the same emotions that you are going through. I became addicted to apples in the 7th grade, was a smoker by 8th grade, have been on and off various drugs, and finally when I got myself together and quit everything except cigarettes on 9/9/99, I turned my addiction to food in general. It got really bad when I quit smoking 12/17/2003. I finally figured out what it was about four years ago. I was surfing the web eating what was once a family size bag of Doritos and came across a WeightWatchers ad. I "thought" that I might try it because at that time I was 226 lbs. That thought led to anxiety and although I had already eaten most of the bag of Doritos, I felt starving. That was the moment that I knew I had transferred my addiction.
12 step programs are not my thing but they work for some. What has worked for me is the knowledge that I will always be a food addict or an addict of something. I just need to try to get addicted to something beneficial to me or someone else. Now the question is what...
Counseling has helped me alot. I have found that seeing a LCSW rather than a Psychiatrist or Psychologist is more beneficial. They seem to be more interested in helping you rather than pushing this product or that med or this book, etc. But the key is finding someone you can connect with. It is very hard to do.
I can tell you with authority that beating yourself up and being down on yourself will only make things worse. You need to try to wake up one morning and just do the following:
1. Go immediately to the mirror and proclaim as loud as you can, "I AM BEAUTIFUL! I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO! I AM STRONG!" (or something to that effect. You will feel a little silly at first but then you will believe it.
2. Let yourself cry and mourn the loss of the person you use to be pre-surgery. Sounds silly I know, but you divorced the pre-surgery person when you had most of your stomach removed. If you have not let go of the old you, your new you cannot shine through.
3. If you know that you are going to crave something, don't allow it in your house (or at least not in an area of the house that you occupy). I have a teenage son who is 5'11" and all of 125lbs soaking wet. He has to keep his high calorie stuff in his room so that I do not have to see it.
4. You did this for you.
I don't have all the answers and Lord knows I have my moments, but we all have to realize that they are just that, moments. They do not define us.
I hope that this helps!
Shae

I think the "full" feeling registers differently with different people. It's important to eat slowly to give your body time to send the "I'm full" signal to your brain. If you eat too quickly, you can easily take in one or two bites of food over your stomach's limit, and that will either hurt like crazy (because in addition to that extra food, your stomach is going to push in some digestive juice and extra saliva to process the food), or you'll be sick and empty it the unpleasant way.
I think most experienced sleevers tend to undereat their sleeve--that is, we've learned through trial and error that we need to eat slowly, pay attention to our bodies, and when we sense that we are no longer hungry (NOT "we're full," since that's something different), we stop eating. That's the biggest change, I think--you eat until you're not feeling physically hungry, not until you're physically full.
Another really good way to gauge how much to eat at first is to measure, not by weight, but by volume. For instance, I can typically eat half a 6-ounce container of yogurt, 2/3 c. of brothy Soup, or 3 good-sized boiled shrimp. I know what those things look like, size- and volume-wise. I use that as a mental guide when I'm faced with food of similar consistency. I can eat approximately 2/3 c. of lentil Soup at a restaurant, for instance, but less of chili (more dense Protein per serving). This really helps me be mindful and stop eating before I overeat. Also, honestly, a few times of overeating because of mindless eating really does teach you the hard way that it's not a good idea. I had problems in the first few months with excess acid, and between that and some thoughtless eating, I was sick a LOT--especially problematic at a business conference where I was talking during lunch instead of paying attention to how much I was eating. NOT good. After a few times, you will begin to pay attention, and after a while, it becomes second nature. I'm pretty aware of how much I can and cannot eat now and simply stop--there will be more food available later if I need it.
Good luck--your sleeve is a great tool; be sure you're eating slowly and thoughtfully and allowing it to help you!

Remember that everything happens for a reason. It took me five years to finally get sleeved. Throughout that time, I got close about five times only to have things fall through. Finally, I got information that allowed me to have my surgery done at a Military Treatment Facility (my husband is retired after 20 years in the Marine Corps.) and paid $0.00 for everything. Do your best to have the sleeve done but please realize that if it doesn't happen, it may be because something better is on it's way.
You didn't mention insurance but more and more insurance companies are beginning to cover the sleeve. Be careful with the MEdical credit cards. Some of them charge outrageous interest rates (last time I checked CareCredit was at 11.9%) and you can end up in financial trouble. Especially if you make a late payment and they jump the interest rate to 25% or more.
Some ideas I have for raising money are yard sales, babysitting, house cleaning, shopping for someone, baking Cookies or whatnot to sell at the farmers market, offering tutoring services at the local school, ... you get the idea. It's slow going but it would serve to get you moving a little which is hard when you don't have energy and you would be earning money that you don't have to pay back.
It's hard to keep getting turned down or to have things seemingly worked out only to have it fall through. But you can get through it with the knowledge that it is for a reason and even though you don't know the reason, it has to be good.

I have some of the same emotions that you are going through. I became addicted to apples in the 7th grade, was a smoker by 8th grade, have been on and off various drugs, and finally when I got myself together and quit everything except cigarettes on 9/9/99, I turned my addiction to food in general. It got really bad when I quit smoking 12/17/2003. I finally figured out what it was about four years ago. I was surfing the web eating what was once a family size bag of Doritos and came across a WeightWatchers ad. I "thought" that I might try it because at that time I was 226 lbs. That thought led to anxiety and although I had already eaten most of the bag of Doritos, I felt starving. That was the moment that I knew I had transferred my addiction.
12 step programs are not my thing but they work for some. What has worked for me is the knowledge that I will always be a food addict or an addict of something. I just need to try to get addicted to something beneficial to me or someone else. Now the question is what...
Counseling has helped me alot. I have found that seeing a LCSW rather than a Psychiatrist or Psychologist is more beneficial. They seem to be more interested in helping you rather than pushing this product or that med or this book, etc. But the key is finding someone you can connect with. It is very hard to do.
I can tell you with authority that beating yourself up and being down on yourself will only make things worse. You need to try to wake up one morning and just do the following:
1. Go immediately to the mirror and proclaim as loud as you can, "I AM BEAUTIFUL! I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO! I AM STRONG!" (or something to that effect. You will feel a little silly at first but then you will believe it.
2. Let yourself cry and mourn the loss of the person you use to be pre-surgery. Sounds silly I know, but you divorced the pre-surgery person when you had most of your stomach removed. If you have not let go of the old you, your new you cannot shine through.
3. If you know that you are going to crave something, don't allow it in your house (or at least not in an area of the house that you occupy). I have a teenage son who is 5'11" and all of 125lbs soaking wet. He has to keep his high calorie stuff in his room so that I do not have to see it.
4. You did this for you.
I don't have all the answers and Lord knows I have my moments, but we all have to realize that they are just that, moments. They do not define us.
I hope that this helps!
Shae

I have some of the same emotions that you are going through. I became addicted to apples in the 7th grade, was a smoker by 8th grade, have been on and off various drugs, and finally when I got myself together and quit everything except cigarettes on 9/9/99, I turned my addiction to food in general. It got really bad when I quit smoking 12/17/2003. I finally figured out what it was about four years ago. I was surfing the web eating what was once a family size bag of Doritos and came across a WeightWatchers ad. I "thought" that I might try it because at that time I was 226 lbs. That thought led to anxiety and although I had already eaten most of the bag of Doritos, I felt starving. That was the moment that I knew I had transferred my addiction.
12 step programs are not my thing but they work for some. What has worked for me is the knowledge that I will always be a food addict or an addict of something. I just need to try to get addicted to something beneficial to me or someone else. Now the question is what...
Counseling has helped me alot. I have found that seeing a LCSW rather than a Psychiatrist or Psychologist is more beneficial. They seem to be more interested in helping you rather than pushing this product or that med or this book, etc. But the key is finding someone you can connect with. It is very hard to do.
I can tell you with authority that beating yourself up and being down on yourself will only make things worse. You need to try to wake up one morning and just do the following:
1. Go immediately to the mirror and proclaim as loud as you can, "I AM BEAUTIFUL! I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO! I AM STRONG!" (or something to that effect. You will feel a little silly at first but then you will believe it.
2. Let yourself cry and mourn the loss of the person you use to be pre-surgery. Sounds silly I know, but you divorced the pre-surgery person when you had most of your stomach removed. If you have not let go of the old you, your new you cannot shine through.
3. If you know that you are going to crave something, don't allow it in your house (or at least not in an area of the house that you occupy). I have a teenage son who is 5'11" and all of 125lbs soaking wet. He has to keep his high calorie stuff in his room so that I do not have to see it.
4. You did this for you.
I don't have all the answers and Lord knows I have my moments, but we all have to realize that they are just that, moments. They do not define us.
I hope that this helps!
Shae