Altalomaguy

Hey now lets not rag too much on the guys. Do you think I had women bashing down my door to get to my hot 400 pound bod? I think not! I had a hard time getting girls in my age and weight range to even look at me as dating material let alone ones who weighed significantly less than me. It seemed like some of them would rather have "crushes" on cute guys who only wanted to be friends than date someone as overweight as they were. This of course applies only to my age range at the time, early 20's, and to the women I knew or met, but boy did it seem like a recurring theme in my life. Then I learned the joys of dating older more mature women. :whoo: Use your experience in choosing who you have a relationship with wisely. Consider your time being overweight as a learning tool into the human experience. Don't be one of those people who pay lip service to "personality" but then only go after whom they consider good looking.

Your posts have shown that you're a loving husband who wants nothing more than to better your wife. Not just physically but I think in all aspects. I just had to address the little willpower part. Permanent weight loss, diets and such, have about a 95% failure rate. I just watched a show on MSNBC about meth addicts. They have a failure rate of about 94% for staying clean. I think comparing the two details just exactly how hard weight loss can be. Like others have said, if it was a little willpower nobody would be fat. I'm glad that by visiting this place you have come to understand a little better what others have to deal with. Not everyone was blessed with a body that metabolizes at a rate where you can eat anything and everything and not gain a pound. So too was not everyone blessed with a brain chemical balance that allows them to easily control their food intake and remain positive. For some of us this is truly our last option other than simply accepting that our lives will forever be constricted and controlled by our weight, but your heart has to be in the fight. I truly wish you all the best in finding that special thing that will help your wife get better. Do your best, but don’t tear yourself apart trying to fix the unfixable. Sometimes people have problems that, no matter how hard you try, can only be fixed by them. At some point you will need to decide if you can keep living with the woman your wife has become.

I know exactly how you feel. For my graduation from college with my bachelors degree(Administration of Justice) my parents asked me if I wanted a new car one day. I was pretty flabbergasted as we aren't a rich family by any means, but turned around and said, "no, but I would like a lap band which would be about the same!" and explained everything I had researched about it. They were going down the, "you need to try harder" path until I pointed out that I'd failed every time but that didn't seem to have an impact. They didn't have a good comeback for the 95% plus failure rate of diets in general. I think the problem for them is that while they were both overweight it wasn't by very much. I on the other hand am morbidly obese and they just don't seem to get it. My back hurts, my joints are grinding themselves to dust, and ya know, I'd like to be able to see my manhood once in a while. :phanvan In the end my four years of work got about $100 in gift certificates, and they bought my brother who did six weeks of work to become a CNA a car, and are now getting him a computer. I've decided I'm simply not going to talk to them about it, nor ask them for help with it. I will inform them when I'm about to have it(no date yet), because all surgery involves risk. I also know what you mean about someone enabling you. My fiance and I had an argument this week when she brought home candy that I love, soda, Cookies, and ice creme. She actually bought one of each of those things that she likes and a set of those things for me. The problem is she gets diet stuff and I hate low sugar diet food or diet soda so she bought me normal Snacks and soda. When I told her that I appreciated the gesture , but she really shouldn't have she got really angry like I was rejecting it, and I tried really hard to explain nicely what I meant. Then she asked me if I just wanted her to throw my stuff out, and I said yes. OH BOY was that the wrong thing to say! After she cooled off though I think she understood that while I could control myself from going to the store to buy bad food when I had it in the kitchen waiting for me I just couldn't help myself. :think

In the last month to month and a half I've read... Harry Potter 5 & 6 Gotrek and Felix: Dragonslayer Willam King Gotrek and Felix: Beastslayer Willam King Gotrek and Felix: Vampireslayer Willam King(hey I love em!) The Bad Popes by E. R. Chamberlin Xenocide by Orson Scott Card A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin The best out of all of them is George R.R. Martin who is todays Tolkin, but better. It's not your elfs and magic adventure fantasy, but to quote a review, "It's men and women slugging it out in the muck for money and power and lust and love."