Mommy2Ps

My revision date from band to sleeve is set for 2/19. Everyone around me is excited, if not a little jealous that my insurance covers it, but I'm still on the fence. Let me rephrase that, I KNOW it's happening, but I feel so apprehensive about it because I was told I "might not lose a lot of weight, but it will stop me from gaining." Losing half of my stomach can NOT be reversed...and to only stop from gaining weight back?! Ugh. I think that's my big road block. It's so final.

I understand what you're saying- and nothing anyone can say here is going to change the decision I've made to follow through with this. I KNOW I can't go back to where I was. I know this. It's just disheartening to hear from your surgeon that although you're removing half your stomach, you "might not lose a lot of weight". How is that even an option to NOT lose weight?! My fear is that since I'm a revision, I won't be successful as if I was a WLS virgin.
I've gained weight. None of my clothes fit me. I'm back on BP meds. I KNOW what needs to be done, and I'm doing it on 2/19. I guess I'm just looking for those success stories from other successful banders who have gone on to be successful sleevers.

On the one hand I see where you're coming from. I also wish the years of dieting had gotten me to my goal (even just once, even just temporarily!) but it never happened. I was miserable and unhappy and each new diet left me in worse shape than the one before.
But on the other hand, I really felt a sense of relief when I decided on the sleeve. I, too, had been asked before by my doctor about WLS and felt that there was no way I would ever need that. But after six months of researching the band and a year of researching the sleeve before actually having surgery, I was absolutely ready to make the step.
What I felt was relief. I felt like there was finally an end in sight. I would have this surgery that would be the tool I needed to lose the weight, and for good this time.
And while my journey was more complicated emotionally than I expected, and while it took longer than I might have liked, that sentiment was exactly right.
It was a tool. Sure, a drastic one that involves surgery and the risks that accompany it. But after the hundreds of dollars and wasted effort I was pouring after various diets, memberships, pills and weight loss remedies for years, not to mention the time I wasted unhappy, depressed and unhealthy...well, it seemed like it was time for a change in approach.
In the end, once the surgery is over it's very similar to the old approaches I took to food. All of those things I rolled my eyes at before, like "learning moderation" and "developing a healthy relationship with food" and "ending the emotional dependence on food" were things I was FINALLY strong enough to address. Because I can't speak for you, but I know that I never stopped feeling hungry long enough when dieting to focus on anything except when and what my next meal would be. I was never able to do any head work, the REAL work the sleeve helps you accomplish, because I could never hang with the diet long enough to even make real headway on my obesity. I never stuck with it longer than four months. I was never able to, despite really trying time and time again. Even with the sleeve I had to stay within 700-900 calories a day to lose, and it still took me 17 months to lose 107 pounds. It would have been impossible to lose the weight without surgery in my case.
I think that the only issue with feeling so much negativity now is that you could carry it with you post op. It's possible it will color your experiences and make you feel things are worse than they are, especially if you're resentful of the fact that you're considering the sleeve at all.
But it's normal for us to have a range of emotions and to deal with things differently. Do I wish I could have kept my stomach? Sure. I miss eating big meals sometimes, even if I don't really miss the role food played in my life. And the fact that I can admit this is the ONLY reason I miss part of that organ speaks volumes to me. I didn't need it, and it was getting in my way. I achieved my goals without it and couldn't be happier.
If you do choose to have surgery you'll go through an entire spectrum of emotions, good and bad, in the following year. Accept it, work through it and despite how you're feeling right now you'll still see success in the end if you put in the effort.
~Cheri

For all intents and purposes, I've had great success with my band. In almost two years, I've lost 92.5lbs. To say I am a new person is an understatement.
Now, I wasn't the perfect band patient 100% of the time, but I did follow the rules for the most part. In two years, I've had three slips. The first starting Nov 2011, and I attributed it to portion size and eating too fast. The second slip, earlier this year was caused by vomitting when I was physically sick. Instantly I felt like a pop and then it was followed by nights of reflux. Again, they took out the Fluid 100%. Now this last time, happened yesterday.
I went in to see my Dr on 6/13 and was told I had a marginal dialation that looked like it could be corrected with a two week plan of liquids, mushies, and .5c meals twice a day. So that is EXACTLY what I did. (Ok, I had one day when I went to the amusement park and had some popcorn and a few bites of funnel cake. I'm not gonna lie! But, I knew my limits and stayed within them.).
In that time til my next appt, yesterday, they were pleased with my 4lb loss in thirteen days. The reflux was non-existent and I was thrilled that I seemed to have corrected the band issues I was having.
WRONG.
Imagine my shock when I saw on the Xray that my stomach had totally muffin-topped over my band. Something happened in those thirteen days that I can't explain. It was so bad, they even asked me if I was in pain because it looked pretty bad on the monitor. NOTHING. ZERO. ZILCH. No pain, no reflux, no NOTHING. SHOCK. Pure shock that that could have happened in 13 days of being on a strict liquid/mushy diet and only eating a cup of food a day.
Now, almost two years to the day I had my surgery, I'm told my band needs to come out and I'm SCARED TO DEATH. The doctor (one of the best in the country) is saying the band is failing many people and its promise for long-term use were incorrect. The slips are re-occuring at an alarming rate and it's proving to not be a long-term solution like it was originally intended.
My question is, and I do have one, do you REALLY think it needs to come out...or do you think it will hurt anything if my stomach slides back down to where it needs to be? Now, I'm not looking for fills anytime soon, I'm just scared to death of losing what I've worked so hard for and being left with nothing. He seems to think it could turn into a life threatening situation and it does need to come out. I'm scheduled for an EGD on 7-26, and then I will meet with the surgeon again to decide when it's going to come out.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, he's strongly advising me to get the Sleeve. Which would be fine and dandy if my insurance would cover it. Granted, I have great insurance and they covered my band two years ago, but now I'm with another company and since my BMI is only 32 with no co-morbitities, I'm dead in the Water.
Anyway, thanks for getting through that if you've read it all.
I'm just so disappointed, so upset, so frustrated and my world has completely been turned upside down following this new revelation.
-T

First of all, congrats on your weightloss! That's incredible!! I also think it's funny that I was banded on 6/29/10, a year to the date that you were!
As for your sister, that's a tough one. I think the best thing to do would be to drop it entirely. Don't share with her about the losses unless she asks. Watching you shrink is probably painful to watch in and of itself. Having to hear about it too, just adds salt to the wound. KWIM?! She probably hears from other family members how great you look etc, so she probably imagines that the spotlight is now focused on her too, for comparisons sake. For example someone says "Molly looks great! and what she hears is "Molly is looking great, why aren't you losing weight too?!?!" Make sense?
All you can do is carry on with your own life, be there for support and guidance IF and WHEN she asks for it, and just love her as you always have.