(1) Some doctors might be able to convince Aetna to pay. Check with their patient liaison people.
(2) The doctors who advertise on the Internet invest heavily in reassuring potential patients. Make use of their 800 numbers -- you'll be talking to intelligent, English-speaking sales agents. Also, our blog has put up several items under the "medical tourism" and "culture" tags that should help reassure you that things are on the up-and-up around here.
(3) Every surgeon should answer this question for you. Some have reciprocal arrangements with doctors in the U.S. for follow-ups, others prefer being present for the recovery period. There's some nice scenery around here.
The Real Tijuana got a reaction from AngelBaby in Sigh....unsure..