oldoneyoungagain

Loved all your stories. Thank you for making my day and bringing a smile to my face. When I got married 13 years ago (not my first, but my last) I worked full time, took 16 hours of college credits at the age of 58. My husband on the other hand was disabled, not that it was visually noticeable as it wasn't. To make a long story short, his first wife had died and all 34 years they were married, he worked, cleaned the house, mowed 10 acres, etc. etc. etc. First wife read, watched TV, did crafts, went with her sister to different craft shows. Oh, did I add she controlled the money. So when he married me, he resented the fact that he still had to do the house work, etc. Finally, one day I looked at him and told him politely, okay then, I'll quit, you work, or it can be like it was for you before, I'll sit on my a$$, read, watch TV, do crafts, etc. etc., or you can look at this way, if I were the stay at home person wouldn't you expect a clean home, dinner on the table, laundry done and put away, because I use to do that too and work, but so did my previous husband, but his job was more like 80-90 hrs a wk. Well we came to a mutual understanding and never had an argument again. I helped when I could, we spent time together, he took care of me, and I took care of him (which totally surprised him that I would as he didn't have that before). Well he passed away two years ago, and just before his passing, when his family came to visit him one last time, they took me aside and thanked me. Not for taking care of him which they appreciated, but for the fact they had seen a large change in him from the person he had been the previous 34 years. I made his life better, and in doing so, I made there's also. They now had a brother, an uncle which they didn't seem to have previously. He had become more family oriented and enjoyable to be around. His sister to this day still thanks me for making him a better person and she doesn't want to be called a sister-in-law but sister. That is my love story and I hope someday you will find that man who will give you the same love, respect and support that you deserve. Because there is someone for everyone. For me, mine was laid to rest November 18, 2011. Now, for me I have to pick up my own dirty clothes and wash them. Cook my own meals, clean the house, let the dog out, let the dog in, feed the dog, feed the cat and work. Damn do I miss him. :wub:

Wouldn't life be great if everyone was nice and slim, didn't have to worry about anything they ate, nor the amount they ate, but yet wouldn't put any weight on, just stayed the same? If no one had to ever worry about becoming a diabetic, heart disease, cancer and the other numerous diseases related to this one problem, obesity. Unfortunately life isn't that way (actually it would probably be boring if it were), some place a gene mutated, went array, it did something and a number of us could work are rears off, starve ourselves to death and yet in the end we were still overweight. I guess I was blessed because somewhere along my life's path I decided that I was responsible for myself, no one else. I respect everyone's opinion because they are thinking of my well being, but yet they are not fighting for my life, they can't, as I have too. So does it hurt when someone doesn't agree with me in what I have to do for myself, No. I usually inform them that until they have walked in my shoes, they will never understand my decision, but I thank them anyway for being concerned because I know they care. Just not informed, nor educated, nor me, but I'll always be their friend. But this is me and how I think. I might be right, I might be wrong, but in the end it was my decision, my responsibility. No one else doesn't have to take on the guilt of what decision I made.

Totally, totally, agree with you that WLS is just a tool and they work. I have been maintaining my weight loss with the band, eating the same, protein, veggies, some fruit. But when that band was removed, guess what the carb carving came back, I didn't introduce carbs back but there seemed to be a switch that turned on and can't find the off switch.I'mm fighting the cravings but it is a bad Totally have to watch it, yet I have put on a couple of pounds. So if the protocol is followed, for those of us who have problems with weight (yes we can lose it on our own) but that tool does a little something more that we can't do without it. It does signal the brain when you are full, the stomach is smaller, we eat less and without it would we be eating the same amount of food on our own that we were eating before. . All I can say, I have fought this battle for 40 yrs. Tried pills, you name them and I probably used them. Weight Watchers, TOPS, Nutrisystems, Jenny Craig. Loss the wait until i quite the program and couldn't make a go of it.. So you can have a tool that is there to help and make it a little easier in controlling the amount you eat that should last a life time. Or you have weight watch, ginny craig etc, attending weekly classes. How you want to lose, is how you want to do it. choices are yours, There is no easy tool to weight loss. You have to study them all and find the one that works for you and thenstick to it. I'm sold on the RNY and sincerely it works.

Yes, the insurance company can be very evasive. I found out in May that my band had to come out. When I found it out the surgeon and I discussed the next step which was RNY. I explained to the case manager that effective 6/1/13 I would have different insurance and told her which one. She said I would have to have three months of weight management, so I started the process. Band came out 5/23/13 had one weight management through my PCP done and will have my three months of that completed in July. Started with the dietitian in June will complete all that by August. So I actually started what my new insurance wanted prior to ever having the insurance. One good resource is your bariatic surgeon's office. If you have a good group they can tell you what your new insurance requires, that is if they accept that insurance, as they get to know every insurance they accept and know exactly what the insurance companies want. Requirements for most all insurance is at least 100 lbs overweight, BMI of 40 or more, or a BMI of at least 35 with co-mobidities (diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and the list can go on). The other is that you basically have tried dieting over the years but what you lose you put back on plus. So you can start your diet now (my doctors had proof of last December but needed two more, went ahead with three since by doctor also requires a dietitian and a class on do's and don'ts and what to expect with RNY). But if you want positive reassurance exactly what that insurance wants talk with the bariatic center's, as I said they know. Hope this helps.

Thanks for explaining. I haven't had the bypass yet but now that you explained why you had to go through this, if I have some of your same symptoms I'll know not to wait but on the phone immediately to the surgeon's office. Being that sick is something I know I couldn't handle. Really hope for your sake the procedure has done the trick and you can get back on solid foods. Plus hope you don't have to go through this again. Good luck.

First one 20 years ago before versed, second was about five years ago, then the third was 5/23/13. I watched the procedure every time. Much better than the colonscopy which I get every three years and they do put you to sleep for that one.

Ex-bander going for bypass in Sept. What a inspiring story. "Through God all things are possible".

Your metabolism thinks you are starving so it has slowed down thus no weight loss. You might consider increasing your calories which should boost the metabolism awake. I was doing what your were doing with my band and was informed I wasn't consuming enough so I jump between 600 to 1000, and always drink a protein shake or protein when I wake up. Surgeon told me that the metabolism slows down during your sleeping hours so it needs a boost when you wake up. Guess that is why you should always eat breakfast. In my case I drink it

I just had versed (spelling might be wrong) and actually watched mine. Didn't have any discomfort. Even talked with the surgeon after he pulled the scope out. With this med you shouldn't remember anything, but in this case they didn't give me very much, just didn't have any pain as they numbed the throat. Of course this is the third one I have had so knew what to expect.

I wonder how this wasn't caught by the psychologist back when she first had the surgery. Or wonder if it developed after the surgery. Either way there was a problem and still is. Hope she gets some type of help before it goes too far and she won't be able to recover.

Mojaleski, I'll be 71 in August and had the lapband three years this last March. My cardiologist suggested it because I have dystolic dysfuction and needed to get the weight off from my heart and lungs. So I had the band, but I didn't do the research as well as I should have, so I think. The research is now coming in on the band and there are more complications than what they have thought even three years ago. I had my band out (never had a problem the whole time I had it and lost about 48 lbs. but it slipped. have 60 to go). On May 23 the band was removed because of this slippage (thank goodness that this was caught in time, there again didn't have a problem, because it could have erroded and I would be probably fighting for my life if that would have happened). I found out that my doctor had actually removed two other bands that day. So my research really started as now have to have yet another surgery for WL. I talked with the surgeon, he suggested either the sleeve or RNY, I then asked him what he would recommend for me. Since I'm a type II diabetic he stated RNY as the success of putting the diabetes in remission is in the 90% range. So more research. Since I didn't have enough information when I had the lap band I wasn't going to make a second mistake (surgery isn't on my bucket list), I looked at the sleeve but discovered not all the research has come in on that as it is a little newer than the lapband. So looked at RNY, which has been going on since I was in my 40's, and there is a lot of research there and that is why it is called the "gold standard". I want this to be my last elective surgery. Whatever decision you make I wish you luck. Just remember it is a tool, so as long as you follow the protocol for the rest of your life, you should be able to keep the weight off. Also on the lapband, you have to continually (somewhat) get fills or sometimes unfills, that will eventually stop though. With bypass, my doctor said after the initial year, you'll come back every year thereafter or we are suppose too. So good luck on your journey, I'm glad you have come on board, I felt lonely as haven't found another person our age. Stay posted and let us know what you decide we are here to support you whatever decision you make.

I had the band and very sorry I did because I didn't do enough research nor was all the research in on it. The failure rates are coming in. That is the same with the sleeve, it is too new and there isn't enough research done regarding failure. RNY is the gold standard of WL and has been around for 20-30 years so they have done research on this. I'm hoping to have RNY in Sept. Everything has been submitted just completing nutrition classes, two more.

Mine slipped also and just had it removed, haven't gained weight and hopefully I don't. I decided on RNY after extensive research. The band is showing high percentage of failure, sleeve hasn't had enough research to see what it failure rate might be. So I went with the gold standard which is the RNY and that has had a lot of research done over the last 20-30 years.

In kicking the sugar habit, I know the pre-op diet is hard but when I did it for ten days it flushed the carb graving away. The minute I started eating carbs again, graving came back. So I have to watch my weight, limit what I eat, and know when to say "no" either to myself or someone who is trying to stick a donut in my face. Do I miss it, you bet, constantly. Do I have will power, not really. I just convince myself I am allergic to it, if I put it in my mouth it causes my body to just produce more fat, more fat produces more weight. I worked too hard to get off the weight I lost and I really don't want to work that hard to take it off again. So it is easier to say "no" as that only takes jaw muscle not an extra 30 minutes working out which I hate even more. P.S. I just had my band removed and will have RNY in a couple of months. So it is even more difficult without a tool to help keep the weight under control.

Hopefully you are getting some relief. I've only had a reaction once from something after surgery, but my daughter on the other hand has spent many hours in the er because of a reaction to antibotic. One time she has a reaction, next time she won't so they never know which they have to use on her so benedryl is her close friend. Keeping fingers crossed you are getting relief.

There is so much support out here, where people's surgeries didn't work and they had to have something different. It wasn't that they "failed", the procedure just didn't work, or maybe they fell. You see failure is not a word I will ever use in weight loss as it is so "final" like it will never work for you again. You have just fallen and with that you can get up dust yourself off, and try again, and again, and again. Moto: If you first don't succeed, then try, try again. RNY doesn't work for everyone, lapband doesn't work for everyone, and the sleeve doesn't work for everyone. We just have to find the one that will work and stay positive.

I'm not a nurse, but daughter is allergic to everything. That is what it sounds like. You are having a reaction to either an antibotic, pain medication, or some medication that you got in the hospital. Reaction can take up to a week after taking it as it wears out of your system. You do need to see a doctor and explain what you were given not name specific but the fact you were in the hospital and were given medications.

My cardiologist cleared me four years ago for lap band as he suggested it. Of course just had to have an EKG and echo which is done every year on me anyway. When I told him in May that the band had to come out and I was going to have bypass. He ordered another echo (just had one that was ordered by the pulmonologist in October) and a thillium stress test because my last heart cath had been done four years ago. Funny he ordered this all for the bypass, yet they could remove the band without it. Haven't figured that one out yet. But it doesn't matter he cleared me as well as the pulmonologist. Should be having the RNY sometime in Sept. or maybe before.

Just had my band out 5/23/13. Still a little sore but no pain whatever. Now completing the three dietitian visits and a pre-op meeting and all will be submitted for the RNY. Was totally angry with my band, never once did I have any issues and when it was discovered by my new doctor it had slipped I was totally p.o'd. at the former doctor. All could have been avoided had they ever done a fluroscope when they filled. But some is my fault, should not have had the band in the first place. Should have done more research but there wasn't as much out there almost 4 years ago as there is now. Oh well, hind sight is better than foresight. Moving onto to better things with a positive attitude.

She applied in 2004 and was denied I think within a couple of months. She hired the attorney, and the case was heard two years later (think it is faster now they have more judges)SSD goes back to when you first filed and pays all that if you win even if you have been denied several times. Also your oldest will draw, I believe, don't see why not until she is 18. I cannot answer about SSI, but they might drop that and switch it over to dependent allowance if that would be more for your other 2 children. But haven't had the situation and don't know anyone that has, I'm sorry. By the way I know you are stressed as seen where your weight had dropped. Take care of yourself, your babies need you.

Tiny, don't deal with this alone. I don't think that we are so much sad for you but more like concerned, worried. You are dealing with something that is very, very difficult to sometimes handle by yourself. You know this because you are always there for one of us when we need it. So look at it this way, you are in a battle for your life, the enemy is trying his almighty best to beat you down to defeat. So rally up your Army and together we will be able to win the war. The force is with you. :ph34r:

Tiny if you don't get approved with what I am assuming is Social Security Disability, then hire an attorney. My daughter was denied the first time and got an attorney in place and won. She was awared over $33,000.00 for two years back her own case, and her daughter was awarded over $18,000. She get $1,700 monthly, daughter is now 21 so she doesn't get dependent allowance. But plan you are putting together sounds like a good one. My previous marriage was 13 years. During that time we lost his baby daughter in the 1993 flood, then 1998 we lost my son. So he turned to a bar fly. And I went on with the divorce. An I went on working, 40 hours a week, took 16 hours of college credits at night. Then Friday nite through Sun I worked in a call center for Shell Oil I met my next husband on line and I couldn't have asked for a better one. Then the ex married the bar fly but every so often he would call to see if I would join him for a drink. I did, for me to only be told he still loved me. (That made me feel I had won the war, but my love for him was not there. There is a place in my heart, but that is as far as it goes) I had to smile, thank him but I was happy with my life and maybe some day he would be with his.NOT My present husband wasn't jealous. as the ex would call the house and we would chat. My husband knew I would be friends with the ex and that was it. When my husband died my ex came over and knocked but I didn't answer the door, haven't had any more contact since. ihad to do some serious thinking about the ex because I was madly in love, but did I want to be hurst, made fun of, control issues, and put up with the woman. I took him for almost every thing we had and walked away. And for the past thirteen years I smile when he gets pissed about something. And I left him with some words of advise for his wife, "I was going to be her worse f@#$kn nightmare:. And I have been. And all I do is mind my own business. She knows he still loves me,and I am back in town, but she doesn't know I don't love hiim.. So my moral of the story is When you know you love someone, but they are mentally and verbally abusive, it time to get out for your own sanity. And remeber the love you have for that person can be from afar.and less hurtful. My deceased husband did ask my daughter if I would get married again. She flat answered "No". It wouldn't be fair to another man as I would always be comparing him to my husband..

Be prepared to do a lot of walking up and down hills. Also, depending on the weather and temperature it gets humid. If there is a good breeze it isn't as bad. They also have a cave on the grounds that you can go through, if you like something like that. If you like shopping there are two outlet malls in Branson (or there use to be, I moved from there eight years ago but went back about five years ago to buy shoes and they had both then). Downtown Branson also is good to tour. Nightime have various shows performing if you can get tickets. Enjoy, it is a fun place to visit but during the summer months wouldn't want to live there. Back to back traffic.

I'm having the opposite problem. The people I work with know that I had the lapband and lost half of the weight I needed to lose (that part they don't know). Now that the band had to be removed and going on to have RNY, they are asking why am I going through another surgery, I'm looking fine and don't need to lose anymore. What they don't understand, is that I am not yet healthy. Has anyone else been told they are looking good and don't need to lose anymore, when in fact your not near your goal or still battling health issues related to the extra weight?

Totally agree with you on this TinyMamiof3kids. I learned early in life "when someone tries to control your life they aren't in control of theirs". In fact a psychologist told me that and I found this to be so totally true. My husband, when he was alive, was very worried about what he ate in front of me, he would apologize which made me feel it was my fault he couldn't eat it. I had to reassure him that it was totally okay he could eat whatever he wanted, if I couldn't have it I would fix myself something else. Potato chips were always around, he ate them, I didn't. He had french fries, I didn't, he would make Cookies and eat them, I didn't and that list goes on. My weight loss, just as yours, was for me and only me and I had to do it for me. If I didn't do it for me then I might as well sign my own death certificate because it will be my fault, no one elses as they didn't put that food in my mouth, I did. Anyway that is my opinion and believe you me I haven't even got half your will power. And you have done a fantastic job with your weight loss.