kareyquilts

Foofy: Interesting comments. Habit does set in. I don't think I really see him all the time either. I guess it's just a little disappointing after all the things I have been through in the last year and a half to not have things change a little more. Hard to know what is reasonable. Basically, I'm the same person in just a little different body and he is the same good person he has always been. We are both hard working people with a lot going on. It's hard to make time stop and just enjoy each other. That being said, since I have been recouperating from surgery, I've had a lot more time to think about things. This is not necessarily good! I think I've been putting too many unreasonable expectations out there. What I'm learning is to try and figure out what I want and need. Some might think this is easy, but for me, it's really not. Too many years of being a mother to 5 children, being a wife, working and volunteering and doing everything that I thought I should and I've lost touch with what I really like and want. This weight loss journey has taught me a lot about putting my needs first. I have made time to exercise, prepare the right foods, etc. What I have learned is that my family actually does better because I am emotionally healthier and happier. My children are proud of me and really support me. I have watched them as they grow up and they certainly don't have any trouble going for what they want or need. I don't know how it happens but somewhere along the line, I learned to ignore very basic needs and just put my shoulder to wheel and do whatever needed to be done. So, back to plastic surgery, etc. I am extremely happy with and glad that I got a tummy tuck and breast lift, etc. I think that I may get more things done. I'm allowing myself some time to get back into real life again, which I am now in the midst of doing. I'm back to exercise, work and loving the people in my life. I may want to get some counseling, but not really about plastic surgery. More about my feelings of self-worth and the hole I feel that can't get filled up. Don't know if this makes sense or not. I'm going to think about if the pain of PS is worth the gain, but not if I'm worthy of it. I think that I've learned that looking better doesn't cure negative feelings about oneself. I know that being self-disciplined helps my feelings of self-worth and I still need to discover how else to fill up my bucket. Well, I've rambled long enough. I guess it's good to have these problems instead of some of the serious health and image problems I had before my lapband!

Funny how things like a BM can make us happy! LOL. Sounds like you're doing great.

Miram: Congratulations! How exciting! We are just in the throes of all the last minute stuff for my DD's wedding. I'm very excited for it though. I'm so happy for you. You guys have already been through a lot together (same boyfriend, I'm assuming) and I'm sure you'll have a good marriage. Keep us informed of all the details. How did he ask you? Wishing you the best!

Mimin: It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. I just had Juvaderm around the lines on my mouth and lips. I am swollen and bruised, very bruised! My daughter's wedding is in 3 weeks and I think that I may not be healed. I think I just screwed myself, actually! I really wanted to make a splash with my TT, etc. Also, the filler did not get all the wrinkles and the doc says he can touch it up. I'm not going to chance any more bruising right not. I spent a lot of money and I don't think it was worth it. This experience has taught me that I need to think things through more carefully. I just trusted my doc and I guess I still do, but he definetly doesn't walk on water, anymore! I will see him next week and get his scoop on things. I just feel like I'm wearing a sign- "Not aging gracefully!" I am thinking of a thigh lift with butt lift and arms. Also, had decided to go ahead with a face lift, but not so sure. Maybe this was a good experience. You'll have to share how you feel after the next procedure, even if you just PM me! Take care!

Julie: I know that time seems to go a little slower when you're in pain, but before you know it you're going to feel much better. Hang in there!

I'm definitely not anti surgery, but I think that it can be hard to separate the really worthwhile procedures from worrying about every little detail about yourself iykwim? I'm afraid that if I did go in to have a breast lift, then next thing I'd want a tummy tuck, then a bum lift, then I'd start worrying that I was looking old in the face....... Its kind of like opening Pandora's chest, lol. Jachut: Unfortuntely, I'm not swimming in money, but I can afford the procedures and I have opened Pandora's box! Do you understand my quandry better? Hmmm!

Steph: I know how you feel, before my surgery I would grab my stomach and try to imagine all that skin gone. You're going to love it! It's worth the cost, pain and inconvience. You're going to love it!

Julie: I think you're doing really well! The chin thing sounds very interesting. I asked about doing something like that and my doc said I would have too much lose skin. I'm excited to see how everything turns out. I hope you're taking your pain meds, I know when I waited too long or got off schedule that I became very whiny. The flat stomach is very cool, huh!?

Amy, you look absolutely wonderful. How is the swelling after you work out? I'm walking 3 miles a day and by the end of day, I'm quite swollen. I love the new tummy, but hate the swelling. Oh well!

Jachut: Aren't you getting some plastic surgery? I see nothing wrong with getting the boobs done. You've got lots of time to enjoy them along with anything else. Of course it's money, and time... Anyway, thanks for your opinion.

Coltonwade: I just had augmentation and went with the silicone. They were placed behind the muscle and I'm very happy with them. I was worried about the silicone and almost backed out, but I'm glad I didn't. They look and feel real. My PS would do the saline, but he prefers the silicone. Said that the saline doesn't feel as real, that they make more noise and that they can spring leaks. Of course, the silicone ones can leak, too. He said that all implants should be looked at as parts that will probably have to be replaced. They don't last forever, though they can last a long time. He also said that if the silicone does leak it can easily be removed. I talked to my internist about it as well and he said that the implants are a big improvement and that the scare over silicone has not been proven scientifically. He also said that putting the implant behind the muscle made it easier to detect breast cancer. My internist encouraged me to go with the silicone also. Of course, I hope that I made the right choice and that they will last a long time. Only time will tell. As of now, I love them! I would like to know what you learned at your seminar.

Julie: Sounds like you're doing great. I'm going to get my butt and thigh lift in another 6 months or so. I didn't know they could do a small incision like that. Probably not on everyone. Did they do a muscle repair with the TT? That's what hurt on me. I guess it hurts to go the bathroom because you have to squat and that pulls on your incision? Or is there another reason? Can't wait to learn more and see pics. You're in my prayers!

StephC: Sounds like you've got a good man, too. Let me know how he likes your new bod! I thiink that BJean makes another good point and I'm going to remember it the next time someone makes a negative comment about PS or losing too much weight. Maybe we should consider counseling when we don't care enough about ourselves and we let ourselves go. Right ON! Of course anything cared to excess is not good. Finding the balance is what we need to do. Sometimes, I really wonder how I let myself get so overweight, but I know it's a complicated issues. I'm just so glad that I have a lapband and have somehow made it to the other side. Now to learn and maintain... Lots of great comments to think abuot here!

Julie: Wow, congratulations! That snuck up on me, but not on you, huh!? I'm impressed that you're already posting. I washed my garment in the gentle cylce with baby detergent and than hung it up to air dry. Not good to put it in the dryer. If it has blood on it (mine did), use some hydrogen perixode. It works great. I had some of my drains for up to 10 days. You really get use to taking care of them. My belly button did not bleed. Let me know what the doc tells you about that. How's your pain? It is exciting to be able to see your privates, etc.! I'm happy for you. It will all be worth it. Welcome to the FLATLANDS!

Steph: Hospitals can be frustrating, but, my goodness, you're almost to the flatlands! Are you going to start a thread? How are we going to keep up with you after your surgery?

My husband is fine with the way I look now. I think he doesn't want to see me go through anymore pain, there is the cost, etc. You know I don't think he really sees me physically much anymore. We have been married for 33 years. He loved me when I was heavy and he loves me now. So, I guess there are pros and cons to me not really seeing me that way. Does that make sense? I want him to notice me more now, and he does like my new body (and boobs), but our relationship isn't really based on looks. I think I am truly blessed to have such a great husband. If I want to do anymore PS, it's really for me, because, based on my experience with the TT, it's not going to change much in our relationship.

Wow! Thank you for the support and advice! I feel understood. Maybe I'm not crazy. BJean, you're idea to have a plan is right on. I'm going to have a long talk with DH because I do want to have other procedures. I had a long talk with PS today, while he did the Botox and Juvederm. He thinks that I need to have a back side lift (not really a lower body lift because the front is already done), so it's a butt lift and outer thigh lift. He's always said it was to be several procedures. I want to have my arms done. We talked about a face lift. I saw one of his face lifts in the office and she looked fantastic. I'm thinking that maybe I'll cancel the Thermage. I'm bruised and swollen from the Juvederm today. I'm also plain worn out from everything I'm doing right now. I'm thinking that the $2,300 I would spend on Thermage should go into a facelift fund. It's just so tempting to get the instant gratification and get this crepey neck gone for a little while. I do feel like time is passing me by and if not now, when? Soon it will be too late! I guess I'm taking this aging thing hard. That's what my mom says. For the last 20 years, I have felt like a second class citizen. For once, I do want to feel hot. Even if I'm just a hot Grandma! I want my husband to desire me, no lust for me! Silly, huh? The down side to all of this, is that not only is it expensive, but it's painful and it disrupts your life. I'm only beginning to start exercising again. I'm still very tired. I'm not recovered. I'm emotional, etc. I think that figuring out and prioritizing what I want done and when is essential. I'm so thankful for this forum and for all of you. I feel from your responses that I'm understood and really there is no one I can talk to about this, because I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat or make my friends feel bad, etc. Thanks again!

BooBooKitty: Wow, your surgery is coming up fast! How exciting! You're going to love it! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Lynn: That is where I swell, too. The PS said it will go down. I hope he is right!

I agree with Boo Boo Kitty!

Well my trip to Puerto Rico turned out well. I was able to travel just fine. I'm going to have a fill next Wednesday and then call it quits until after the wedding. I hope you are all good. Please check out my thread and give me your opinion on a quesiton I posted there, about maybe needing some counseling. Thanks! http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f12/kareyquilts-tt-bl-lipo-ba-52831/index17.html#post809904

I need some feedback from you all on something, I've been really struggling with. Please visit my thread and let me know if you think I should get some counseling. Appreciate it. http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f12/kareyquilts-tt-bl-lipo-ba-52831/index17.html#post809904

I'm wondering if any one out there that has had PS has experienced any of the feelings that I am going through lately? I really wonder if I need counseling or something. Of course, I am also getting ready for my DD's wedding, but I'm a little bit obessed by my looks and about aging. My plastic surgeon is going to do Juvaderm on the little lines around my mouth Monday. Thursday, I'm having Thermage to help with the sagging skin on my face and neck, from age and weight loss. I would like a face lift at some point, but my DH is against it. He thinks that I should accept my wrinkles and be happy with how I look. I feel like I have spent so many years being overweight and feeling unattractive that I want to look as good as I can. I not only want a face lift, but my arms done and possibly my thighs. I would like to feel more at peace with myself and how I look, but I keep thinking about the possiblities. I know that I can look better. On the other side, I so know that looks aren't that important. I don't know why I've become so vain at 53. I've always tried to take care of myself and look attractive, even when I was very heavy. Sometimes, I just feel like I have a big hole is in my psyche that I just can't fill it up. My husband tells me that I look fine, that I look good, but I want him to think that I'm drop dead hot! Probably an impossible goal. It's actually making me very unhappy. I know it's not rationale. I've always been a very service oriented person. Having sponsored immigrants, donated my time to many worthy causes and am thinking about a humantarian mission for our church. I feel guilty about being so self-centered, but I keep making appointments to have stuff done to myself. I would like to age gracefully, I totally understand what my husband is saying to me, but emotionally, I just can't accept this aging process very well. I'm not ready to give up or call it good. To make matters worse, I feel like my hormones have been out of whack since my TT. My ob/gyn says it's because of the fat removal on the stomach. I don't know, but I'm very emotional! Do you think things will level out or should I get some counseling, or is it all right to have all therse procedures done and just don't sweat it? I would love some feedback!

BJean: I haven't seen the Ace of Cakes. I will have to look. We had a shocker last week with the wedding. We emailed a question about a microphone and got the reply that our wedding planner had quit and the Villa knew nothing about our wedding, not even the date! Please fill them in, so it can happen! Boy, was that a heart-attack moment. We have the entire Villa booked out except for 2 rooms, so I don't know how they didn't know! I quickly got out all my notes and contracts and the emails started flying! The wedding is going to be in Sayulita, Mexico, so we couldn't just go there and have it out. Anyway, I think we have all the details worked out, except for the cake and flowers. We had flown down there in November and had planned the entire thing, so, I was more than a little irritated. I guess you just have to have a sense of humor about these things. I told my daughter, as long as we can feed people and they can dance (important to my daughter who is a professional dancer), everything will just be fine. We'll probably get some good laughs out of it. If the flowers are perfect, etc., it will be all right. Anyway, glad you're losing weight again. I do need to start on the upper body weights. I guess I'm giving myself permission to take a break until after the wedding (it's in 3 1/2 weeks). I'm into all the little details and I'm getting slightly overwhelmed. I am walking 3 miles a day now. I've gained 1 pound, hoping it's just swelling. Anyway, glad you can do the recumbant bike and I absolutely know that weight training made all the difference for me. Using the body bugg, I found that after 3 months of weight training, my resting metabolic rate had increased by 200 calories a day! That is really quite a lot. So keep up the good work!

Salsa: Sounds like you've got the right attitude! You're going to do great!