general_antiope

Hi guys, I am very upset and concerned about my brother. My whole family is, frankly. My entire life, I was the fat one, and Ray was the skinny one. He was beyond lean, he was just thin. It was hard to believe a tanned italian looking skinny boy and a round, pale blonde girl had the same parents, but we did. For the past 10 years he's been gaining weight. He's now over 300 lbs and his face and body are so distorted that I started to cry when I saw him last summer take his shirt off at the beach. He is proud of me for getting the band, he tells me I'm beautiful and encourages me. The few times I've hinted around gently about him getting the band, he feels like he's not that bad. He's over 100lbs overweight and in serious denial. He's been dieting for four years now and nothing has worked. He's under tremendous pressure as the sole provider for his wife and three kids, is a calm and patient man with wisdom and so much love for his family. He's the best father I've ever seen up close. His kids love him. And he's eating himself to death. He's always been handsome and the lead singer of his band, etc etc. My friends loved him I know I can't push the issue. I've been thinking of writing him a letter and just leaving it at that, not harping on him. Is that being too pushy, though? I don't want to shove him into a band and then he fails. Maybe the band isn't even for him. He's just not dealing with it. me and Ray last weekend at our sister's college graduation

ts!! I was thrilled to read this. Yes I'm starting over, too. I got a fill for the first time in a long time in March and could not BELIEVE how startling real restriction is. I've lost 16 lbs since March's fill, and it's slow and steady. I figure 8 lbs a month is good so I'm not letting my surgeon know how awesome I'm doing in case she wants to unfill me -- hee hee! When I'm under 3lbs/month I'll go back, or if I'm hungrier - whichever comes first. That's what I love about the band. You can relive fresh banding over and over again :wink2:

I'm very happy with the way things have been going with my weight loss. My lower legs, however, are concerning me. My calves and ankles are always "full" of edema (swelling) no matter what. Sometimes it will loosen up if I have zero sodium and nearly drown myself with Water, the skin will relax and not look like a full balloon. Then, the skin sags, but I feel like my legs are relieved. I could care less if the skin sags, it's very minor. I can't seem to keep it under control. The skin too is mottled and pale, like I'm not getting enough circulation there. Since I am always cold, no matter what, since my band surgery, I have been doing lots of Yoga to help increase my circulation, but it isn't getting better. I have no ankles to speak of. I don't wear skirts or shorts - ever. I still have 38 lbs to go. I'm hoping that this will be part of the last round up of fat. But I have to say, I am bummed about what's goin' on. I will live with it if I have to, because my legs have - literally - supported me in the worst of times and the best of times. They've done a fabulous job. My thighs aren't too shabby either. The calves and ankles are just not pretty, not exactly normal, but not horrible either. I don't even think I'd want surgical intervention. Anyone have any ideas or wisdom to impart on this? Wish I could wear cute little executive girly skirt suits.

My ex husband almost died in front of me from Septic Shock. He had an abscess, he thought it was just a pimple...three days later he fainted in the airport as we went home. We risked the flight home, took him straight to the hospital, they said another hour and he would have lost parts of his anatomy down there. He was very advanced and sickly all around his bloodstream. It was a vicious surgery to correct it and took months of healing. Septic shock is fast and furious and can be caused by the most innocuous things. Also I really hope I don't sound insensitive here...I'm going to say this because I know some really sick people who would find it funny to put a site like ours in an uproar by "planting" this kind of urban legend to scare, confuse and demoralize people. I sincerely hope this isn't the case. Just crossed my mind, is all. Spiritually, I believe we choose long before we get here what challenges we face, and we write into our blueprint when/where and how we go. We plan a couple of exit ramps for ourselves and take one when we're done learning. I realize this is kind of a weird thing to believe, but hopefully it at least explains why I am not as freaked out as some of you other sweethearts :/ But....Sometimes people do know when it's their time. When it was time for me to be banded, I was terrified and didn't sleep all night. I had been convinced, you see, from age 14 that I would die before I was 30. Inexplicable fear. at 28/29 when I was banded, I really thought I was taking my life in my hands, that I knew my own death before it happened. I decided I would rather risk death on an operating table than continue to live as miserable as I was. I hated my life. I did it and just left it up to whoever controlled these sorts of events. Complete surrender. Aphrodite - only you will know what the right choice for you is. For me, the risk was worth the reward. I thank God every - single - solitary day for my life. My happy life. OK final note...when I researched the band, I marched into Dr. Ren's office and asked her how many people died from this surgery or complications of this surgery. Under 1%. How many people died from bypass surgery? A lot more than 1%. Hundreds of people more. It is a risk we take.

Ms Jai - anatomically speaking it's really odd that the band would be impacting your breathing this much. The gas they use really messes with your lungs, though, and I didn't stop feeling gas pain until at least 2 months after surgery. I'm wondering if it's related to the gas - are you doing your breathing exercises? It's supposed to be hard. Also, maybe you developed allergies. It's been a TERRIBLE pollen season. I never had allergies but this season I have been coughing with a horrible tickle in my throat, sometimes getting "not breathing" feeling until I blow my nose. My nose doesn't even feel stuffed, but its a post nasal drip at the very back of my nose...once I blow it, I can breathe a lot easier. it's very weird. Finally, have you tried sleeping propped up on pillows? Even now, I easily "choke" at night if I'm lying flat on my back. With 100lbs more on me, I could rarely sleep completely flat. I just can't believe the band is causing the problem :wink2:

You don't want to put too much lemon juice in, it IS highly acidic and if you do this regimen a lot you could erode ename off your teeth :wink2: Do it like it's iced tea - maybe a teaspoon or two for an 8 ounce mug. I would squirt the fake lemon juice into it until it was tangy but not tart. Enough that you can taste the lemon, but not so much that you need sweetener. I'm a firm believer that Equal and Splenda cause more hunger. Besides, the sweetener will change the effectiveness. You want the lemon juice and Water to "rehydrate" and "reacid" your stomach. When your levels are ideal, you digest MUCH mor efficiently and you don't get reflux. The warm lemon water (hot tea warm) will reset your body's pH balance. Depending on your diet, natural acidity levels, once a day might be good, or just on-the-spot when you need reflux relief. Maybe a couple times a day at first. Listen to your body.

Jachut, good for you! I liked Pilates, too. It feels more "competitive" and masculine type energy to me, where as Yoga is very Fluid and feminine. Quiet, introspective, like it's you, the mat, your body, and the instructor's voice. I really like the meditative aspect of it. We watch ourselves in the mirror as we switch through standing poses like Warrior 1 and 2, and it is amost like dancing, all doing the same poses. It's very pretty - beautiful even. I also like that the emphasis is on the breathing and not doing "The Hundred" til you want to cry. :wink2: She_Smiles - ok what exactly IS Hatha? I've even asked my instructor. I do Flow Yoga (or Vinyasa) which incorporates sun salutes in every pose, like an introduction to the pose you're going for.

LMAO @ JRT haha :wink2: Oh you brave women!! Lipara - awesome. Keep us posted. And I always think it's better to be emotional and hysterical here with friends than in front of professional providers!

What a great man you have there :out: And what a strong woman he has! Dump that self-abuse - what's past is past. You're on the path to reclaiming yourself. Be proud, sistah!!! I know I'm proud of you! (and confused....what' this "sex" thing people keep mentioning :wink2: ) Marisa, LMAO. Your posts crack me up The LB Balconettes are the ones I have to roll up and stuff the girls in. Problem is, my girls are soo hell-bent on kissing my belly button that they pull down on the shoulder straps no matter how tight I make them, and they slip during the day. Ahh one day it'll all be a comical memory. Thanks for the tip about Nordstrom's. I will try them next. I found Wacoal fit my body nicer than Le Mystere, but I will try them again. I was going for pure comfort (my "weekend" bras) and not lift. Who is On Gossamer? My sternum does that too! Do you stand there in the mirror and put your forearms over your boobs and think "I could pass as either 13 years old or a boy"?? Just me?? Oh and why cant you get a buttlift? If my hiney doesn't do something impressive after a TT, I might do implants. Although I'm meeting with 3plastic surgeons in the next 2 weeks and will see what my options are...I might be a candidate for a full body lift. Some of the work I've seen in butts after a BL is just freaking stunning! This sounds weird but....what a pity you don't need a tummy tuck :smile: hehehe!

mylah - hang in there!! They told me it could take up to 6 fills to find the right one. They *warned* me. But I ddn't believe them. :wink2: I was banded in Nov and got the sweet fill in April. It was light a switch had been turned off - the hunger just went AWAY. When I realized day 3 post fill that the weird non hungry feeling I had was the band, I actually cried. The chatter in my head about what I should eat, when was I gonna eat, what did I "feel" like eating, what everyone else would be eating...it was gone. Silent. I cried and cried in sheer happiness. I love my band. I would stay 193 for the rest of my life to never have to live that way again. Fortunately, I don't have to stay 193 :smile:

My friend Lexy (banded yesterday!!! so proud of you girl!!) has heard me say a million times that *there is a mental addiction to food that is largely going unaddressed.* I don't mean compulsive eating, I don't mean emotional eating, I mean a mental obsession. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar: - I think about food from the minute I get up until I go to sleep. - When I eat, I think about what I should have eaten instead. - When I am not eating, my thoughts often stray to what I will eat later. This is EXHAUSTING!!!! Abby I felt just like you before I got the band. Once I got my magic fill, the hunger largely disappeared, and it was just a matter of breaking bad habits. Oh my GOD I wish I could show you how much easier it is to retrain yourself when you're not battling your damn hunger, too!! It's how normal people see food. It's AMAZING! By the time I was filled properly, 6 oreos would make me feel as sick and stuffed as a whole bag. I love oreos :cursing: oh, I'm a major cookie monster (ask lexy) and my weight loss has stalled because of it. But here's the great thing about the band: You can start over with the band whenever you're ready. You just need to be HONEST with yourself. Tonight I ate a cheese calzone :cryin: I should have had a veggie cake. Know what? I enjoyed every bite. I know I delayed a pound of weight loss by another day or two, but I've also lost 8 lbs since May 1. I'm at the point where I know the cycle. Some weeks I'm motivated and not hungry; some weeks I want the comfort of food. Personally, *for me*, the balance of always trying and never giving up with forgiveness and NOT guilting myself when I go off diet is the real beauty of the band. I have a much healthier relationship with food than I ever have. 3.5 years later, my biggest problem with eating is unconscious eating. When i'm dining with someone I talk constantly and forget about food. When I'm home, I watch TV and snack til I realize I've eaten the whole calzone. More than I intended to. It's just something I work on. I don't have to be perfect, but I will never stop trying. Be kind to yourself darling It will come. I promise you, the peace will come. Surrender to it now, and your whole band experience will be that much better. I promise. Just know you're gonna have ups and downs.

Hi ladies! I'm 32 and was banded at NYU when I was 28. I had a wonderful, WONDERFUL band buddy who worked at NYU named Shelley help me through the whole process. There is nothing more valuable than your support network. I am more than happy to help in any way. I've not been a "model" band citizen, but I learned a lot and had success...and would be glad to be a cheerleader for any of you! Email or PM me if you have any questions :cursing: This is totally the best damn thing you will EVER do for yourself :cryin: I never realized that just by losing weight I would rediscover me. I thought I always knew me, but I never even scratched the surface. It really does improve every area of your life.

LMAO - whenever I heard "morbidly obese" i kept thinking people saw me as a very fat, moody, sullen goth girl obsessed with fat and food like goth girls are obsessed with black lipstick. haha. Welcome Fanny!!! I'm so happy to see ya here in two-digits-land :cursing:

Awwe!!! :cursing: Thank you beck....crap I must be PMSing, I got a little misty at the end of your post. You're totally right thought...my mistakes are the greatest strength about me because without them, I wouldn't BE me. And you just made me realize - I really do LOVE who I am. I'm finally here....I've been trapped in fat for decades. GRRL POWER! *high five* Wait wait I might be able to help!!! I was on Prevacid post-band and couldn't always tolerate the pill. I had mental problems with the pill BEFORE the band, so forget about me not psyching myself out and harfing it up. I have been following the blood type diet and according to them, acid reflux/gerd/heartburn is caused by low stomach acid, not too much acid, believe it or not. They recommended I drink 1 mug of hot Water with lemon juice in it, first thing in the morning. This will (again, I say believe it or not) adjust your pH levels in your body and enable your stomach to adequately digest whatever pH balanced food you're eating. Many times you wake up being under-acidy. If you start eating foods that are harder to digest, it's gonna wack out your stomach. Well, truth. I no longer take Prevacid or anything. If I start getting reflux from something I ate, I just drink warm water with lemon and it is instantly gone. TESTIMONIAL: My boss was complaining of the very thing when we were out to lunch. I told him to drink a mug of warm lemon water, he called me a "crazy gypsy" and kept arguing. I finally nagged him into trying it - it worked IMMEDIATELY. He then scarfed down 20 hot wings and said it hadn't come back. /prances out of the thread :cryin:

Laur, if you find a style that you really like, would you post it? I am always on the lookout for something more comfortable than the constant digging into my flesh of elastic and underwire....but it needs to give me lift - industrial would totally work for me!!

Call the doc AND the insurance...I've seen people here who said they were approved and nobody told them! Or, if you don't get anywhere, you can start getting a little creative to be memorable. Start leaving daily messages. Let them get progressively weirder until they call you back. Like: Day sixteen, and I still haven't heard if I can get a surgery date. Hope everything's cool over there. Lemme know! Day eighteen: Ate everything in the house, afraid to go out to the supermarket in case they call. Started chewing on the cabinets I'm so hungry. Only the band would help me control these cravings!! Day Twenty: Now I have no cabinets, and the cat's missing.

You just reminded me of this well meaning girl at bloomingdales who tried to help me find a new bra, Laur...Now keep in mind that in my youth I was a salesgirl for maternity clothes (and one of my most favorite jobs ever...I LOVED helping pregnant women look and feel pretty, especially when they didn't feel pretty). I was certified to fit bras for women, I know how the whole thing works. This lingerie salesgirl measured me up, announced I was something like a 42 DDD. I was like...actually, no I'm not. She said "But I measured you." and I said "I lost a lot of weight, I wear a 38DD to keep it all in." she said "Trust me" and I said okay then. She comes back with 7 or 8 bras. I put on one or two and I made her come in. The bra was comical. Through some feat of physics, although the inches claimed I was that size. the bra hung on me. And my bewbs? Hung down past the bottom of the bra. I swear this things are trying their hardest to merge with my belly button. They looked like they were gasping for air. Her face was priceless. "Oh...I guess...we'll try a 38DD." In the end, I bought a 40D. I don't wear that bra anymore, it felt really comfortable but it didn't lift my heavy flour sacs enough, so I am back to my 38DD balconettes from Lane Bryant. I will sacrifice a little pride (back rolls) for the lift in front. I just look way too matronly for 32 wearing bras that "fit."

Aph...my bewbs and my belly get in my way. I feel your pain...I just do it anyway. My child's pose is comical, my giant bewbs slowly cut my air flow off, and my head...omg ... doesn't even touch the mat!!!!!! LMAO!!!! Ah well. It's actually been a good "gateway" experience in accepting my body. Sure, I plan to get plastic surgery, sure, I'm still 38 lbs heavy, but I figure it's better for me to do this self acceptance in Yoga than trying to do it on a first date. Baby steps :cursing: Never heard of Kriya...but yeah that Yoga breathing works those lungs. Maybe they should teach that post op instead of that comical little breathing contraption! lol

It might be that you're biting off too much. You should be eating pea sized bites of your food and chewing VERY thoroughly to make it mushy and moist. It will slowly, evenly, filter through your band. If you swallow bigger pieces, they will go down hard (or get stuck). If they pass, they might be stretching your band. I know that if I eat longer than 30 minutes, I hit that "unrestricted" space you're talking about, where suddenly I can eat more. :cursing:

Call your doctor - you're driving yourself nuts :cryin: Also, if you're reading the boards, you'll see that a lack of restriction right after surgery is normal. They typically do not start doing any fills til 6 weeks out (you're 5.5) and even then it's incremental. My doc told me it could take up to 6 months to get the magic fill. Please - take a deep breath, call your doctor, and don't stress :cursing: Stress and worry cause more damage to your organs than running a 5K Let us know what happens...good luck!

Good Luck Kat!!!!!!!!

Oops hit send too soon - meant to say it happens lots to my mom, so if you're not using your Death Rays on anyone, hopefully the flashes'll clear up soon as you heal!

Steph, I am LOVING your writing and your pics. It's nice to see another Pennsylvanian! I'm meeting with 3 docs in the next 2 weeks and have a feeling one of them will be my choice. One's in the Philly area (where I am), the other 2 in Jersey. Yeah, JERSEY. pff. LOL kidding :wink2: (love u ocean cittyyyy) How are the hot flashes? Have you started shooting lasers out of your eyes? My mom's menopausal, and that happens. Lots. hee!

Hmmm that's the first I've heard of that. Can you elaborate?

Willsmommy/RTA - LOL at all of it. I was also horrified when I first read Willsmommy's post op diet. My first reaction was "Oh my FREAKING GOD WHAT IS THIS POOR WOMAN DOING AAAHHHH NOOOO ITS BADDDDD" Then I stopped and realized i could not last five days without solid food post op. My first meal? A meatshake. You heard right! LOL Yep. You did it at day three? I did it at day five! Mashed potatoes, cooked ground beef with onions, in a blender, milk. It was the best crap I ever TASTED. LOL. I ate about two tablespoons and relaxed. I ended up eating 1/4 cup and felt really good. My body wanted it. What else can I tell ya? but it sounds like your body didn't want it at all. I think that's the bigger issue...but it's just a habit. If we didn't have the habit of eating when we're not hungry, we wouldn't need the band! I still lost 103 lbs. And I lost it by eating crappy food. I'm not encouraging it, I'm just throwin' it out there. I lost some hair, I was malnourished, I hated Protein shakes. It took me longer than most people to learn to love healthy food, and listen to my body, and honor it. I haven't gained anything back. I would not ever do that to myself again. I feel lucky I scraped by without damaging myself - although I've now got 2 cavities where I never had any - but it was my lesson to learn in my own time, in my own way. Same with willsmommy. Incidentally, it also took me 4 months to get the sweet fill. I was depressed as shizz til then. Oh yeah. I thought I was that ONE person in all of creation for whom the band wouldn't work, I was hungry constantly, at the mercy of mental food obsession *STILL*...and I wasted my time, altered my body, spent all this money and could still jam down an entire Wendy's meal. I lost maybe 11 lbs in 4 months? Demoralizing. But then...Yeah. It finally happened for me. Willsmommy, it'll happen for you, too. I think your doctor's regimen is just kind of unusual for the majority of bariatric doctors we have. And truthfully it was a little startling to hear it. Sorry for my (unvoiced) reaction. Honestly, RTA's comment made me LOL. After you're out of the trenches and have some distance, I suspect you'll laugh about it, too. It's just really not funny when it's happening to you :wink2: My advice is the same as everyone else's. Call your doctor, and have a complete do-over and follow something like this. 1. Listen to your body always at all times. 2. If you're not sure what it's saying - listen to your doctor. 3. If both are still confusing you, eat the healthiest, freshest, organic, low fat thing you can until you're full. I guarantee the amount of food you can handle will NEVER be constant. it changes all the time. The biggest thing I learned from Lap Band was how to slow down and listen. Good luck!