general_antiope

I am living for my fill next week. Now that plastic surgery is imminent, I budgeted for it, I've got my last 2 consults before scheduling it, I find my food addiction is rearing its head again. I was horrendous over the weekend...I wasn't bothered by the pizza I ate on Sunday, but yesterday I ate another calzone, and then went to Baskin Robbins to get a small chocolate shake. Which as you know, is 16 ounces of ice cream milk and fat. Yes, it was delicious. Yes, I hammered the whole thing and could have eaten more. I'm disappointed in the total gluttony of yesterday. I haven't done that in a long time...I was alone, and wanted to eat alone...I just had gotten Aunt Flo, too, so I was crampy and watery-eyed Complete emotional eating. The previous week I'd had Hooters wings, too. Usuaully it's once a week I'm falling off the wagon (or just deciding to eat some damned delicious food!) but I feel like since I'm facing the "end" of weight loss, I'm FLINGING myself off. Anyone else get like that? Today I'm prepared with yogurt, cherries, Fiber fortified applesauce and walnuts to clean me out and get my stomach to shrink. I had minor restriction yesterday so I don't know if its cause of Aunt Flo or if I really DO have a small leak. I was hungry and seemed a bottomless pit! Then again, I wonder if it's because of the psychological implications of getting plastic surgery, and not having the excuse of "oh I'm not finished yet"...like I'm subconsciously delaying the end.

You guys are more than welcome. So I ate two pieces of cheese pizza last night with no problem. Guess what? I no longer feel guilty. That's the best part. I should have stopped at one, I didn't, I'm not a horrible monster. I was hungry. And my band needs filling. And it wasn't four pieces! I did feel pleasantly full afterwards. That's how normal people eat. (They were small/medium pieces, not the giant NY style) It's great to make decisions, good or bad, and be fully cognizant of the consequences. Separating my self-esteem from what I put in my mouth is something I just do meal by meal

Lexy, I noticed whenever I'm on liquids for a day or two, even post-fill, I get the same way. It's your body's way of cleansing and flushing when it has no solid food to deal with. It's gonna all be soft til you're on solids again And yes I get cramps and "noisy movement" too. I think of it as a power wash, hehe. Although when you say your tummy hurts, is it your stomach (band) or is it your bowels? Another thing is that you were on pain meds for a few days, which typically constipates. Your body may be going the extra mile to right itself after being slowed down for a bit, not to mention the insult of invasive surgery. Are you taking your Gas X?? Finally, Beans make me gassy (bleh). I would try some low fat cottage cheese, which is nice and soft but can maybe help with some binding.

Thanks Marisa! I just checked him out - I will see if he can get me in for a consult Friday afternoon June 6. If he can't, I may put him on the back burner. I gotta save my PTO for surgery! lol Pagan - thanks for the recommendation, too. After this round of surgeons, if I'm still not ready to put my life in someone's hands, I'm going to go for NY consults.

That's definitely not correct.... :cool2: When I was banded in 2004 I had BCBS, they do indeed cover it. My friend Lexy just got banded on Monday and has United Healthcare and they covered it. Brace yourself. Insurance companies lie. Keep at it!

Hey all right I choked on coffee! LOL

Ah i'm having the same issue with body dysmorphia. I swear to god when I pull out the size 14 jeans there is just NO way my belly will let that snap! no way in h....hey wait it fits. Weird. I feel like I live in an MC Escher world :thumbs_up: When i got banded, I left my ex husband, I lost almost all of my friends (couple friends of course), he began to immediately date one of our friends...I was very much alone. I decided I was on a journey and to HELL with him. I legally changed my name to Kate Eryn - kept his last name....to HELL with him...its mine now...lol...and changed my career. I also have a great personality and I felt free to just - figure it out. I did stuff I'll never do again (namely...some ... gentlemen...) and eat things I'll never eat again (namely...apple cider vinegar shots and half cooked broccoli) and spent way too much on salon hair for over a year. I'm settling down now, and I think the real me is emerging. I just honor it as a process. One day, I will not be so conscious of my belly. I hope that happens after PS. lol. One day, I will not think I'm beautiful in the mirror and ugly in any picture, but beautiful both places. I figure it took a long time to form this way; it's gonna be a while to come out of the rafters of loving and accepting myself. And girl, you are effing STUNNING up top there! That's exactly the kind of end result I'm going for. Keepin the boobs. Keeping the boobs, the ex husband's last name, and dropping the rest of it

Your band is likely too tight and you're getting reflux at night - I get that if I eat too close to bed time, and have to sleep propped up. It's not normal to have to sleep in a chair, honey...please go to the doctor immediately!

I can barely get 30 in!!! How do you get 80 - 100?!? I've always had a problem with Protein...I'm veggie, but I try to limit my soy cause I'm not sure about these little claims about too much Soy.

Ana good luck - I keep getting told during my PS "scouting" visits that how quickly and well I heal is entirely dependent upon my attitude. I'm so excited for PS I was bubbling and bursting there, and the girl was like "Yeah with this Polly Sunshine thing, you'll be healed in record time" LMAO

You'd be so popular in the "Six Degrees Of Lap Band" game :cool2:

holy cow they charge you 500 bucks if you have insurance? What a racket. The health care system in america...oh man don't get me started, I just found my zen place...

My fills are $125 in the heart of Manhattan - and I am NOT covered by insurance for them...so check with your doctor :thumbdown: This was a fun thread. 100lbsforsale - lm*f*ao - pennies in your bra, quarters in your pants! We see what YOU value more :cool2: haha!

I have problems with whey protein....so I've been on Soy protein...the chocolate soy is ridiculous and should be illegal, it's so good. 1/2 banana, 2 TBSP creamy peanut butter (reduced fat pb works too), I have a nice 400 calorie shake, over 20g protein, that I can only drink HALF of :cool2: I struggle to get the rest in, if I sip it for an hour. That way I know I"m getting something nutritious. I refuse to put my body through 500 calories a day...if I can get to 800 or 1000 that's good stuff.

LMAO! When I picture myself at goal weight, I'm dressed as Coyote Ugly but am a rock musician on stage :thumbs_up:

Hey Yaherd... Well my journey's pretty unique. As you can see it's been 3.5 years and I'm still 193. My band mentor dropped all her excess weight in a year...mine's taking longer. Here's a timeline: Nov 04 - Banded, loving life. Dec 04 - still OK, able to eat a little more food. Hungry by end of month. Hungry after 1 week of surgery, I bounced back fast...couldn't last more than 1 week on liquids. Jan 05 - 1st fill, didn't give any restriction. Started eating unconsciously here and there. HUNGRY. Feb 05 - Now in a depression because the "surgery" feeling had left, I felt like me, was still hungry, and just trying NOT to eat, which felt like every diet I'd been on since I was 8, cried a lot, thought I wasted my life. 2nd fill, still hungry, couldn't last 2 days on liquids. Mar 05 - Got over some of the depression, tried to be positive, this was going to be a process. Still fell off the wagon. Eating full Wendy's meals, but not gaining. Total weight loss since surgery: 11 lbs. Apr 05 - MAGIC FILL - took me off guard, had "accepted" the band and was on liquids for 2 days with no problem, didn't realize it had changed for me until I popped a piece of Cinnabon and it got stuck. First stuck food. Thought I was choking to death, cried, avoided barfing...sliming up a storm...pacing back and forth...finally let it go, felt amazing...Forgot about food the rest of the day. Didn't mean to, just "forgot" - realized at 5pm I "forgot" about food, realized the band was WORKING - HALLELUJAH OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT! No interest in food...I began to eat healthy foods in small amounts, when I felt like it. Powerful :blushing: Dropped 70 more lbs over the next 6 months. That's the best feeling - just a new person, you know? I actually forgot about the band. I got used to what I could and couldn't eat, I was seeing results, things picked up. Food became a background, and it was the first time in my life that was the case. I was more concerned with trying to keep professional suits looking good on me and not spending $700 every six weeks cause I went from 20, to 18, to 16.... I then went through a lull where I noticed I was getting hungrier. I thought I passed the "magic time" of the band and hadn't gone in for a fill in a long time. I thought maybe my brain found a way to overcome the band, and the magic was over. This was 1.5 years into it, I was 90 lbs down by then. I called my doc when I was really, really raveous all the time...it was coming back. It was a bit of a nightmare, the past was back with a vengeance. Then all the self hate came back, too, no more happy, sunny, successful Kate. I can't control myself. I'm a terrible person. It works for everyone but not me. My doc ordered an immediate esophogram, she thought my band was eroding. I flew into panic mode. I gained 5 lbs back. Had the esophogram..... band was fine. pink and gorgeous and not eroding or jacknifed or anything... So my doc said come in for a fill. She went to unfill me, and said. "Hm." "Hm what??" "Well, your band appears to be completely empty." "WHAT?!" We thought there was a leak, but I sat there while she filled me all the way back up...I drank Water...she tested it....nothing. Seemed totally normal. She thought maybe there was a slow leak. After that fill I dropped another 20 and have been staying here at 193 for another year (2.5 years) and over the last year I started gaining again, hovering at 205 - 209 no matter what I did. Got another fill in March and forgot what a real fill felt like!! Dropped 16 lbs like that. So basically, my journey's taking a while, but honestly? It's happening just the way it's supposed to for me. There are lots of people here who are dropping it left and right, but I've had to learn lots and lots of patience. I was NEVER a patient person...ever...I got into Yoga and meditation and really, if the band hadn't been messing with me with fits and starts of success and failure, I wouldn't have had to turn inwardly and work on more than just my body. I'd say my spirituality and sense of "me" has risen from this whole lap band experience in a way I didn't even fathom. Total unexpected bonus. There's a reason for everything, eh? The lap band saved my life, but not just my health... so your journey will be different in some ways, but there are a bunch of constants. 1. Don't panic when you're hungry. It's either hormonal, temporary, or means you need a fill. Just don't panic!! :thumbup: Try to make good choices until you can get a fill, or let a few days pass. I wish I'd been told that...I panicked all the time and went to food for help. 2. Breathe, for the love of God...Deep breaths. Might I recommend Yoga, because it helps you slow down, be conscious, which helps with mindful eating, too. A lot of us are fat because we shovel and don't think. The band forces you to slow your eating, or else you'll hurl it back up...Yoga or pilates or plain ole meditation will complement the whole thing nicely and also give you power and control you *never thought you would have*!!! 3. Do not isolate yourself. I was banded in NYU and did not have any local Philly support groups. Philly docs will not fill me, they had no support groups organized early on...this was a major problem in the past three years. If I had people around me who had the band, I really think I'd have been more successful. Sorry for the novel :w00t:

So today I slipped into (for the second time) a pair of corduroy bell bottom hip huggers that I bought 6 years ago from Hot Topic. They were sexy little musician/hipster/youthy pants I always wanted to wear. I still can't believe they slide up over my thighs and butt. This must be the body dysmorphia I hear about. I still feel huge, every time I pick up size 14 pants I really think, there is no way my body will fit into that. Lexy screams about my little legs and I honestly have to catch myself from disagreeing, I genuinely think...are you insane? LOOK AT MY CALVES. But Mother taught me to take compliments with a polite "Thank you", even if you think said compliment is a steamy pile of BS :blushing: Anyway - I'm wearing them now, and feeling rather amazed that I DO finally fit into these "13" pants (prolly 14). I think I'm going to buy a size 10 "something" and start practicing again. It was really motivating. I can't count the number of times I was trying them on over the years and they wouldn't go past my knees...then they were half way up my thighs...then I streettttcchhhedd and got my ass in them....now it slides right up, buttons. Do you guys have any "goal" outfits?

ROFL!!!!!!!! Yep, I made the terrible, TERRIBLE decision to keep eating once or twice after a slime - and went right back into the bathroom. In between heaves, I was shouting OKAY OKAY I FRIGGING GET IT

Awww Amanda *hug* :crying: Remember...food's been your friend, (in my case my therapist told me pizza Hut was my boyfriend!!) confidant, most loyal supporter. It's an emotional addiction. I had to go through the "death" of my friend of food. I cried when I couldn't have a meatball sandwich on my preop diet. Seriously.................lol!! It's funny now because if I really wanted one, I could go get one. I'd nibble and eat 1/60th of it but it wouldn't satisfy what I wanted it to...It wouldn't sit heavy and comfortable in my tummy and make me feel all fat and happy and lethargic. Basically, I could eat the food, but it wouldn't "medicate" me anymore by that overstuffed feeling. So yeah, I cried, threw a tantrum alone in my car. My ex husband was not very supportive. It was a time I needed to grow, needed to face that. My suggestion is to let it come. Just cry Amanda...be pissed off you have to get banded. Get pissed off you can't eat like you wanna...it will absolutely and totally pass. Within days. And that little toxic crap that's kept you fat all these years will have lightened a bit :thumbup:

i used to live on diet soda...I tried to drink some after banding and the carbonation made me feel very unpleasant, and I wanted to barf. Some people wait til it goes a little flat, then drink it, but the bubbles in my band turned me right off. I drink tea, coffee, red wine, and Water, water, water. I really don't miss it.

You lost 26 lbs prior to surgery? LOL! What on earth is wrong with you! hehe :crying: Kidding, kidding...I'm incredibly jealous!! What a great strength you have. I was crying on my meatball sandwiches pre op and telling them I loved them, and we'd meet again in heaven. or post op when I had the evil band removed, whichever came first....haha

My magic fill was month #4! They warned me that it could take up to 6 fills to get the right amount. I know it's dumb to say (because I was horribly depressed during the 4 months) but try not to worry too much about the weight loss. Use this time to try maintaining where you are, and perhaps trying to exercise a little. Anything to start shaving off some of those calories. :crying:

Agreed with Dan - and drink some warm green tea. Tea is both a hydrator and a diuretic (makes ya pee) whereas coffee will just suck Water out of you and it puts your body out of wack. Also, you didn't mention soups or broths, but just be careful with those. They can be loaded with sodium. My body will have 1mg of sodium and make a general announcement that we are now retaining every drop of water...it's aggravating...so I have to drink lots to counteract it. I'm CERTAIN its water weight. However I'd be concerned about the lack of peeing. When I was banded, they were measuring my urine whenever I went. I was the floor champ, with 2200 cc's a pop. You need to flush the water you're retaining so you don't get a bladder/ut infection. They were really concerned about the volume of urine post op for me. But in the end your body knows what to do :crying: The numbers will owe you, sister!!!

Manatee, I love reading your posts. Nicely stated. :crying: Perfect! libra...you and me both sister. "Nao that's a NOIFE"

Steph, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I don't know what's in my band. The girl who researches everything!?!? I will ask Dr. Ren June 6 when I get my fill. For some reason, I think I have a 5cc band. I remember being around 2.0 - 2.30 and having tight restriction. I know they were using the 10cc's a little bit when I was getting mine done. You're right about the no restriction to full restriction. Hey what was it like having your band unfilled? Did it feel weird? Did you notice hunger coming back right away, or do you think you unlearned the emotional/mood hunger and just had "normal" hunger?