general_antiope

P.S. I don't know about you, but the biggest fear I have for my baby other than the usual things is that I don't want her to get fat. I don't want to pass on my food issues to my little girl. I figure if I can get it under control, she will always have healthy food and healthy body image modeled for her. I never want her to feel like I have felt about my body and me as a person in the past. I have to conquer this, finish my journey. And for me waiting to have baby #2 (did I mention I'm 37 and feeling the clock tick) is torture. I want to get it over with and am still flirting with the idea of getting pregnant in 2013, but not until my body is back under control.

I just had a baby...I'm 37. I was banded in 2004 and lost 100 lbs, maintained an 80 lb weight loss all these years despite my band having broken/malfunctioned 3 times. If I had a baby when I was a few months into my band, I don't think I would have had the success I did. But my band broke during the pregnancy and I ballooned up, and having the extra weight on me caused a lot of problems. Because my band broke, I had gained a total of 70 lbs in the pregnancy. Mentally I was devastated. It took a while for me to not feel like a 300 lb woman when I was at 190. Then to have the scale going up and up and up ... I felt trapped in fat again,and it affected everything in my life, including caring for this baby. I didn't have the stamina for her demands, I just got over being very sick because I was drained. My back would constantly spasm and I couldn't even pick her up or carry her when home alone. All because of extra weight. I just really want to impart on you how non-romantic the first few months are. It literally sucks. I was bawling my eyes out thinking I made a huge mistake having a baby and feeling trapped, hormonal, etc. It took a massive physical toll on me. I made it through, and now I'm going to get my body back. I want another baby (can you believe it after all the crap I just said?) but I won't until I've lost weight again and stabilized. I can't go through that all again!!! That being said, the baby is soooooo worth it LOVE my little girl.

Also wanted to state that I'd love to meet up with local folks but a buddy anywhere is welcome!

Anyone around? My band has failed for the third time - this time when I was 4 months pregnant! I gained a lot of weight back and an trying to stay positive. Just met with Dr Ren now that I am 2 months post partum with a gorgeous baby girl and I'm getting a new lap band in January! A local hospital will let me join their monthly support group but my surgery and fills are still NYU. I decided this time around I'm getting all the way down. Especially now, when I have a brand new life to shepherd. I decided I won't let my daughter suffer the same bad relationship with food that I did - so she is getting a mother who is healthy and fit and start her off right.

Congrats on the good news. I like how non judgmental my surgeon is, too. She is the first medical professional who understands weight issues for some of us are genetic and psychological, not just a willpower thing. In her info session she compared obesity to alcoholism - some people had no problem controlling alcohol intake and others had a genetic predisposition for addiction, and that for obese folks the hunger factor is what sets them off in seemingly self destructive behavior. Problem is, it's still fashionable to call obese people lazy and publicly ridicule them. I understand that guilt feeling abs not waning to show your face. But also I sided where you might be without the band? 50 lbs heavier than your start weight??? You're doing a great job. 50 lbs is no small amount, I don't care how heavy you are! The docs are there to make sure you're at the magic fill. The support groups help you get out of your head. Make sure you are physically hanging out with banded people too!

And gas x is a chewable, is it not? Chew slowly and thoroughly!

I've had a port leak then a tube leak, both repaired. It's very fast. My tube has now disconnected and in scheduled for a replacement in January. It's very rare ... I don't know if it's just defective hardware, how I move, how it was placed in me ... But I have the old style band (4cc) and will be getting the newer 10 cc model. Good luck - its no big deal!

I didn't lose my first time around until my magic fill 4 months after surgery. I played around with the same 5 lbs until the incremental increases hit the sweet spot. Then I dropped 80 lbs like lightning. Make sure you have a realistic expectation from the band. I have known many people who fail because their expectations include not respecting the work they still have to do...it's a marathon not a race.

Friend me! Kateland Alex, the one thing I don't like about MFP is that there's no goal setting for pregnancy, breast feeding, or lap band lifestyles. The lap band preset should focus on protein and fat levels of course. Also itd be nice to work in actually of fruits, veggies, MUFA, etc alongside of calories and fat. I track my food even if I'm not exercising and i can eat a ton of lean pockets and be within goal but have no healthy foods. Finally, I don't see a way to also track distance when entering cardio. I want to train for marathons and I'd love a way to set weekly distance goals.

I think people are confusing the word "tight" with pain. The band doesn't hurt, but if you're tight, trying to eat or drink a typical band meal is uncomfortable because it takes longer to pass and you have to take very small bites and wait around.

Hi all, I was banded in 2004 with the 4cc "older" version. I lost 100 lbs and then had two leaks (one port, one tube) over the years that has caused yoyo weight loss/gain. I had them corrected through surgery. Well I got pregnant last year and in month 4 my band failed for the third time. Completely drained again. I gained a lot more weight with my pregnancy than I wanted - pregnancy hunger is no freaking joke, and with zero restriction I shudder to know how many calories I ate. Long story short, I met with my surgeon again and we're rebanding me with a newer model (I think the Realize band) in January. I haven't read about too many other people with leak issues so I guess I get the prize for "being the exception." Is there anyone out there with band malfunction? I was following the program, my surgeon doesn't know why I kept having issues either. Unless it's a placement issue or just bad hardware. It happens, I guess. Anyway, I'm starting all over in 2013. This time I have 70 lbs to lose instead of 150, so at least I don't feel like I'm back at square 1!

Thanks all. Lapbandster - yes I took the leaks as an opportunity to keep eating well. I still gained weight, but yo-yoed with the same 20-30 lbs. At least it wasn't worse...but for me, hunger is my trigger for both portion problems and poor decisions. No hunger, smart decisions! And has anyone else noticed the "food chatter" in your brain stops once you get to the magic fill? I miss forgetting about food!

Hi all, I'm looking for support. My lap band has sprung a leak for a third time, three surgeries later, and this time, I'm pregnant. I've gained 12 lbs in the past month since the band emptied, and all my food issues are coming back, compounded by hormones/hunger. I'm determined to get through the pregnancy without blowing up. I've maintained an 80 - 100 lb loss for 6+ years despite my band breaking within the first year. I've already located a local doctor to replace my band once the baby and breastfeeding are done, but in the meantime, I'm white-knuckling being without my training wheels. Is anyone else going through this or something similar? Thanks Kate

i everyone! I was banded in 11/2005 and my band began leaking about a year later. I lost 100 lbs and halted. I maintained through very expensive $100/month fills for as long as I could, then gained 40 lbs, then lost 20, then was able to get the port fixed plus extensive skin removal surgery in Dec 2009. I'm healed from that, but last week went in for a fill and found my old band is leaking. Through some miracle, my new insurance is covering it and I am being REBANDED in 30 days, and I am beside myself with joy. I'm holding around 200 - 205 now, I'm 5'7, and look strangely good for still being 50 lbs overweight. There have been some major ups and downs but I have learned something....Hunger is my trigger. And for me, and I suspect a lot of people like me, that trigger needs to be completely decommissioned in order to have any sane/healthy relationship with food. I absolutely love my surgeon, Dr. Christine Ren at NYU, who believes in me and is a real champion of not only beating obesity, but learning how to trust yourself, and what works for you. She's even rebanding me on a Saturday to accommodate my two hour drive from Philly. I can't believe this isn't the end of my story - although I am in size 12 pants and XL top (and 13 lbs of skin lighter), I am humbled and thrilled that I get to finish this journey. I've had friends get banded and pass me. I maintained for a year with a new port, and now that my band has quit, I gained 5 lbs. but I'm keeping it at bay and going on a pre-op regimen. I can't even remember what it's like to live with a tight fill. In my secret life, I've been trying to get to 150 since I started this journey. People have said to me, "Oh I would kill to be 200 lbs" or "you look fine the way you are" but I'm simply not satisfied being a "more normal pudgy" versus a super morbid obese. I don't accept being a 200 lb woman and I'm frankly sick of other people telling me what I should and shouldn't be. I will decide for myself. Happy at 200 lbs...but man, I can't wait to post the150 lb picture.

I'm very happy with the way things have been going with my weight loss. My lower legs, however, are concerning me. My calves and ankles are always "full" of edema (swelling) no matter what. Sometimes it will loosen up if I have zero sodium and nearly drown myself with Water, the skin will relax and not look like a full balloon. Then, the skin sags, but I feel like my legs are relieved. I could care less if the skin sags, it's very minor. I can't seem to keep it under control. The skin too is mottled and pale, like I'm not getting enough circulation there. Since I am always cold, no matter what, since my band surgery, I have been doing lots of Yoga to help increase my circulation, but it isn't getting better. I have no ankles to speak of. I don't wear skirts or shorts - ever. I still have 38 lbs to go. I'm hoping that this will be part of the last round up of fat. But I have to say, I am bummed about what's goin' on. I will live with it if I have to, because my legs have - literally - supported me in the worst of times and the best of times. They've done a fabulous job. My thighs aren't too shabby either. The calves and ankles are just not pretty, not exactly normal, but not horrible either. I don't even think I'd want surgical intervention. Anyone have any ideas or wisdom to impart on this? Wish I could wear cute little executive girly skirt suits.

Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a long time but wanted to reconnect with you guys :scared2: I'm getting ready to finish my journey. I'm getting cosmetic surgery in 5 weeks. I can't wrap my head around it. I've wanted this for so long, but yet, having the band for 5 years, I seem to be doing everything in my power to sabotage myself from being lean. My band is leaking - we think it's the port - and there have been a lot of bumps along the way that has stalled, reversed, and slowed down my weight loss. I'm not mad about it; my journey has been unique. I can't even begin to describe the things I have learned about myself. It all unfolded the way it should have, I suppose. But, just when the surgery was most out of reach - I'd gotten laid off - miracles happened and now I'm not only having my leaking port/tube fixed, I'm getting everything done, by one of the top cosmetic surgeons for post bariatric weight loss, two weeks before my 34th birthday. What an amazing turn of events. I'm scheduled for a body lift, breast lift, brachioplasty (arms) and flankplasty. The only thing he's not doing is my thighs because they don't need it. Yet. lol. They're also replacing my port to a low profile one. Dr. Joseph Capella in Hackensack Medical is my guy. I researched tons of surgeons - this dude is mine. All this, and I am still clinically overweight. I am shaking my head at the irony of it all. Yet, why not? My leaking lap band is getting costly for twice-a-month fills. I have no local support group and live alone, so solitary eating is the biggest culprit. Getting the lap band fixed will help me in January shed the last 30 lbs of fat, and work on my lean muscle building. I suspect that having the surgery will drastically change my relationship with food -- by having beautiful, reliable restriction that helped me lose 100lbs a few years ago (and mercifully helped me totally forget about food) and will give me a shot to my self esteem that has been sabotaging me. I know it's purely psychological, but I would work SO HARD, and work out, and track my food...especially over the summer...and start losing..10 lbs, 15 lbs...but I would look in the mirror at the "frownie moustache" of my stretched belly, suck it in, ALMOST see a normal shape...and then become depressed knowing that nothing I did would ever fix 30 years of being obese. Then, I would stop trying. I have loved watching my fellow bandsters go through the surgeries and can think of nobody better to share it with. Dec 7th is the date. Oh my gosh :thumbup: Kate

Hi everyone! Been a while since an update. I finally feel like myself and have been trying to catch up on cleaning, cooking, keeping myself and the doggie on a schedule while I'm unemployed. It's hard being disciplined by yourself. For me anyway. My band is filled at 3.0 our of 4.0. It's not enough to stop hunger but it's very close to a magic fill. i LOVE that it isn't draining. Definitely was a leaking port. I think next week I will go get a tighter fill and start dropping weight, now that my strength is back. I walk Nike every day and even have jogged a little. No more afternoon naps. I'm fully back. All in all I've gained 2 lbs since surgery. This is actually a miracle since I've been at home, alone, with lots of food. And I'm a closet eater. Which is why I've been trying to get a job so bad - the economy is terrible. I'm just about out of money. So, sorry for the lack of updates :eek: Body-wise I am coming back to reality. I have narrow hips. This is news to me. Shopping for jeans had been a little depressing because my hips are now only one inch wider than my waist. I might need to try men's sizes. Either it's floppy in the butt or the waist is way too tight. However, dress pants (Alfani brand, specifically) fit like a dream. I've started losing SOME of the Fluid around my spare tire. My butt looks a little better than the square flat thing it's been. I still have this pouch of jello-like fluid on my superpubis but with the right pants I can hide it. But that can take up to 6 months. Also, I'm so sedentary and home-bound that I'm sure I'm just retaining fluid on general principle. Need a job!!! The scars have all healed and closed. I do get restless leg syndrome nightly. I suspect it's partly due to boredom, not having a job, etc. It doesn't last long, and the intensity is fading as time goes on. All in all, I'm doing all right. I have a phone screen on Monday, and hopefully within a few weeks I'll be gainfully employed again. I am definitely struggling right now with being isolated and not busy...I'm someone who always has 20 projects going on. I know that my cheerfulness will improve when I feel in control of my world again! Hope you're all well :mad2:

Mimi!!! How did surgery go? I don't see a post anywhere about it...would love to know how it all went. Congrats on getting through it!! My right armpit is healed, left is 95% of the way there. The stitches are still raised so lifting my arm up and down aggravates some of the skin mildly, but the hole is mostly closed.

Hey Skinny...well I just about lost my sh!t with the inability to sleep. I was becoming verbally abusive, cried a lot, didn't want to do a damn thing, began being depressed, etc. Finally I read a book on Feng Shui, rearranged a few things in my bedroom, meditated for the first time in a while, and made the decision to no longer be something that things are happening to -- and took charge of my life again. I went back to "overdoing it" and found I had healed enough so that I'm not actually overdoing it anymore. Nothing helped until I began cleaning my house and exhausting my body. I was so tired at 2pm that I laid down for a power nap and found my limbs were lead, and I slept with ZERO itching or twitching. I began walking the dog farther, made plans about my future, began applying for jobs, generally getting back into my life, and as I speak I am sleeping my usual 7 hours, uninterrupted I was up at 5:30 today, cleaned the kitchen, did laundry, am sitting down now to do my bills. So I'm not sure if the twitching coincidentally calmed down, or if it was psychological, physiological or what, all I know is, I feel like myself for the first time in a while. Physically I am doing well. My right arm stitches have flattened out. There are places where this skinny scar is already white I can live with these scars. My breasts have lost some of their perkiness :smile2: The swelling has gone down and they are still a lovely shape but not QUITE as impressive as they were a few weeks ago, lol. Natural looking and all. My left nipple has a healing hole on the scar at the areola. I'm a little bummed, I have a feeling it will not heal clean and mirror the other one. Also my nipples are definitely two different sizes. Trying not to be disappointed. On the positive side, at least they are even under a shirt. I am going to hunt down some soft bras...Don't know when I'm allowed to wear underwire, but my left arm stitches haven't flattened yet and I'm sure it'd be uncomfortable. My belly has also swollen a significant degree. Below my belly button, I look four months pregnant. It's like all the Fluid from my bewbs and arms is now sitting there. It's reminding me of my body pre-op and I'm trying to stay positive...but with my flat ass and round belly I feel like a little old lady. Clothes don't fit me right, and I am loathe to buy anything until the body settles down. So I'm still wearing crappy stuff, nothing cute yet. I'll be seeing my doctor next week for a checkup, I asked them about the fluid...they say it's normal and likely not a seroma. But you touch it and it ripples like a lake. Then again I heard somewhere that fat holds more fluid than regular tissue, so maybe that's what's going on. Regardless, I need to start eating better and trying to shed weight. I no longer care about what it will do to the results, I want my fat content down. I want my legs to be slimmer, my waist, everything...slowly but surely. I know my surgeons mean well, but I never intended to be 200 lbs the rest of my life. I will live with what I get....or have a revision surgery if I must. But I want my damn number down. I'm 5'7. There is no reason for me to be heavier than 170, in my book. So I have 30 lbs to chip away at. I can't feel my port, but I don't feel like hunger is really an issue right now anyway. I am eating two meals a day, just not picking the best food. I'm holding at 199 but I can do better. I need my band open right now so I can hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Slightly less thrilled than my other posts, but still, would do this ALL over again. I do love the flat belly, even tho mine has swollen up again. Just the arms, bewbs and rib area looks so freaking great. Ready to get on with it now.

Fanny, you're amazing. I can't survive without a solid 7 hours :smile2: How do you do it?? We have a winner. Benadryl helped me sleep a good 5 hours last night, then I was up again around 5 am. I have a hair appointment at 9 so I didn't take another dose. BUt I assure you, as soon as I'm back in my house by lunch I am taking another dose and sleeping again. I was starting to lose my mind there. LOL. And Fanny thanks for the hydrocortisone tip...I'm going to put some on my under-bewb stitches, which are itchy, and see if it helps.

freespirit - thank you! I can't wait to take week 4 pics. A lot of my scars are flattening out on my arms and such. Fanny - I took 400 mg of Magnesium last night, soaked in an epsom salt bath, still had a HORRIBLE night of sleep. I'm having more phantom itching now than ever. I will take 400 at lunch and another 400 at dinner and see if that helps. I also have a magnesium oil spray coming ...I hear it's good for your underarms, which will be great for me since I barely have any glands left and have too much scarring to put deodorant on effectively, lol. I guess I'm now in Harcore Healing Phase. My left breast, which is healing slower than the right, has been itching SO effing much I thought I was gonna scream. I moisturize every night and the underside skin is still dehydrated. The nipple apparently has a little hole in the areola which is healing from the inside out. Hope it doesn't leave a big scar, but whatever :blushing: That sucker has been torturing me. The other healing drama is the LBL scar. These phantom itches are no joke. Right now, sitting here, I feel both hips itching like MAD, and when I put my hand on the scar, I feel nothing. The itch isn't satisfied, still itches, and I can't feel anything yet. Although some of the nerve endings are coming back, it is truly frustrating. Last night I was up every 15 minutes walking around, so exhausted yet my body would NOT relax and sleep. Eventually I took off all my clothes at 5 am and slept til 8:30. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired all day, getting grumpy, weepy...I have not slept more than 3 hours at a time since surgery a month ago. Hopefully the magnesium needs time to kick in. In other news, sneezing and coughing are almost pain free, just a little sore now but totally tolerable. My armpits are 95% healed and I have 95% stretching. It's great to flip over in bed and have no pain or stretching feeling. The arm scars have been itching, too, but not terribly. If Magnesium doesn't work tonight I will try Benadryl tomorrow. I take 2 - 3 hot baths a day which does help the feeling. So close to the end...gotta hang in there...it will end... OH some good news, cause I can't complain without giving some good news. I can see some Fluid draining from my rib area. Today in the mirror I saw the first tiniest evidence of a waist on the left side. Right side still tubey, but I sleep on that side. Also my belly doesn't feel as rigid, and I could suck in my belly a little bit and see the skin hanging onto the muscles, you know? Trying to suck in my abs the first three weeks post op had zero effect...I guess they're growing together now! Finally, a midline has appeared. by that I mean, if you were to have a solid 6 pack of abs, you'd have a line from your breastbone to your belly button...the natural cleft in your abs. I have one now :thumbup: Everything's slowly starting to tighten up, it's looking more natural. And I still have 2 months to go! That's it for now...gonna go look at my bed and wonder when we will be happy again. LOL. kate

Thank you Mimi! You too :biggrin: Fanny, I have to thank you for the recommendation of Magnesium. I haven't gotten any yet but as a proud Nerd I started reading up on Magnesium. I found some sites that discuss other symptoms of Magnesium deficiency and I definitely show multiple symptoms! For example: - Restlessness - Muscle cramp (had a foot cramp last night!) - Jolts and stings (been having those a lot since surgery, thought it was my nerves waking back up or reconnecting but they are startlingly painful) - Itchy skin - Light sensitivity (oncoming headlights at night really bother me) - Loud noises!!! I have had this weird problem all my life...Figured it was just a sensitivity...a quiet room and a sudden sharp noise causes physical pain and gets me irrationally angry. But if I'm at a concert or something it's not a problem And to a lesser degree: - Heart palpitations (had these all my life, not tied to caffeine per se, usually shows up with morphine) - Heart arrhythmia (been measured, they said it wasn't a big deal but keep an eye on it) I am soooo excited to get some supplements today. I'm going to take an epsom salt bath tonight and see if it improves my sleeping. Also I can see my diet has not been supporting my Magnesium intake. I have suspicions that this might be the cause my my inability to sleep and tortously itchy recovery. In other news, I did sleep marginally better last night...still woke up with a foot cramp and 2 incidents of itchy restlessness. There is also a Magnesium spray on oil which people swear by. It also acts as a light anti-perspirant/deodorant which might be perfect for me, as I don't really sweat anymore but there IS a light odor. Not sure if it's the wounds still closing or if I'm just not used to my natural armpits LOL. I don't think it's bad, it just has a....body scent. Weird eh? Now I'm totally excited to check this out. Will keep you all posted. Happy 2010 everyone!

How is it going, Allie? You're six weeks out now, right? Did your bewb heal yet?

How are you feeling, Fanny?

Freespirit, thanks for sharing!! My belly is more swollen than ever and I'm clinging to the "it will drain eventually" mantra. I could believe this would take 6 months. I posted a few pics of my scars, to show how they're flattening. I remember thinking how I wanted to see real scars before my surgery, what I could expect...hopefully this helps someone.