MarySue33

My doctor required the same thing.

Maybe COBRA -- the plan that allows you to continue your benefits by paying the premiums yourself? That is all I can think of that might fit this bill.

Thanks, Kat, for posting the other side of the story. Green, for all we know, Persistance has PM'd her own apology to Wonder and just did not want to share it with all of us. I think we, as posters, sometimes forget that just because a forum is a public thing that every comment does not need to be in the public view -- hence the PM option. I have been PM'ing Wonder, myself, through all of this to share some of my own personal experiences with her -- experiences to which I do not necessarily want the entire world to be privy. Let's not all beat one another up. In email forums, as in life, there will be those who are more 'touchy feely' and nurturing and those who are more direct and who hope to push people to make decisions that will have a positive impact on their lifes. I fall into this category and I know that my advice can be more harsh at times than some of yours would have been, but I really worry about the well-being of both wonder and her daughter as long as they are in the same house with him. Sometimes we get frustrated with our friends, but that is the wonderful thing about friendships -- we can be honest with people we care about -- even if it is not always what they want to hear. Often (we hope always) they will later realize that we just had their best interests at heart. As you may have noticed, I have not posted on this thread recently. It is not because I do not care, but because I have become frustrated with the situation. I am someone who has been there -- as have many of you -- and I find myself easily frustrated with women who make any number of excuses to stay in situations that are not healthy for them. I suspect that I become easily frustrated with them because I was that woman -- for far too long. Let's not all beat one another up. In email forums, as in life, there will be those who are more 'touchy feely' and nurturing and those who are more direct and who hope to push people to make decisions that will have a positive impact on their lifes in a different way. Let's get back to the true focus of this thread -- supporting one of our own who needs us. We won't do it all the same way, but that's ok. Sometimes it is that mix of the nurturing and handholding and the action seeking advice that is just exactly what is best for us when we are in need, as we all respond differently to advice.

Well...now that you put it like that...of course, I don't believe that. I'm with Nathalie 100% of the way. I was 'normal sized' in HS and college, but was too shy to date or to even let a guy know I was interested. I know this is the opposite of what happens to most people, but I actually am far more confident now than I EVER was when I was 30 years ago when I was thinner. I started this lap band journey 100# overweight and morbidly obese, but with an amazingly busy social calendar. I truly believe that attractiveness is WAY more about confidence and how you make other people feel when you are around them and WAY less about how fat you are. Once I developed a little bit of confidence, I became 1000x more popular than I ever was before -- and this was all AFTER I gained the 100#. I have thinner and much more 'society-acceptable' friends and family who wonder why they can't get a second date with a guy. I can tell you why...because they don't have what Nathalie and I are talking about -- confidence, and the ability to make people comfortable around them. You've got to believe in yourself first...cuz if you don't...nobody else will, either.

I can feel mine every so often when I bend over to pick something up off the floor...especially if I am wearing jeans.

Except she lost it so fast...and has that 'look' that you see on so many gastric bypass patients. My money is still on bypass for Star Jones...me thinketh the lady protesteth too much.

When I was on the medical weight loss program at Johns Hopkins, the doc told us that water, diet soda (within limits), crystal light and decaf tea or coffee were ok to count for our water. Anything without calories was ok.

Could I have lost it? Absolutely...I have done so numerous times. Could I have kept it off? Nope. I am only early into my journey, but I can tell you from those last 50+ attempts to take it off and KEEP IT OFF that I know I couldn't do it on my own. Lord knows, I've tried...in fact, I have probably lost 700# or more in the past 20 years. That's why I spent the money and had the surgery -- to FINALLY get healthy once and for all. This is the first time in my life that every time I go down another pound I can feel confident that I will not see that weight again. It's a nice feeling!

I had the luxury of having lots of sick time and took a full two weeks off. I probably could have gone back at between 7-10 days, but I don't know how some of these women are able to go back in a few days. They are stronger women than I am, to be sure!

I have received several requests for my excel template and I am happy to send it to anyone who is interested. Please make sure to include your regular email address in the request and I will be happy to send it to you right away.

The only one I know of off the top of my head is Sharon Osborne. She has been making the talk show rounds (to promote her new book) and has been saying that she is going to have hers removed.

Hi Larry, If you PM me and send me your real email address, I will be happy to forward you the excel spreadsheet that I have created to track mine. It includes BMI, % gone, % to go, lbs lost, lbs to go, etc. I would be happy to share it. MarySue

Working for the Weekend - Loverboy Rebel Yell - Billy Idol

I have some short (I'm barely 5'2") size 20 professional clothes -- a mix of suits, dresses, two piece pant outfits, etc. I would be happy to send them on to someone who can use them.

Mine told me three meals, too, but also added that if I feel like I need it to add a protein shake or half a protein bar as a snack in between. I typically have a protein shake for breakfast, a banana or a yogurt mid-morning, my lunch, half a protein bar or a little cottage cheese mid-afternoon and then my supper at night. I am still amazed that I am not hungry at night. That was always my downfall pre-band. One thing I have come to realize that a lot of times I used to confuse thirst with hunger. I sip the flavored Dasani or a Crystal Light all evening long and I have come to realize that I probably wasn't really hungry for (fill in the blank here -- ice cream, popcorn, cheesesteaks, cold pizza, you name it) -- but I was probably just thirsty all along. Anyone else have the same experience?

Don't be surprised if even after you start eating regular foods that you don't go nearly as much as you did before, either. I used to be at least a once-a-day pooper and now I only go every three days. I asked my family practice doc about this and she said something to the effect of, "volume in...volume out" -- that it is volume driven and because I am eating so much less that it is not a surprise that I am going less often. I have not been constipated -- just going less often. I am getting used to it now, but it took a little getting used to not to be going at least daily.

I order mine online at: www.slimscript.com I am one of those few odd women in America who doesn't like chocolate and I absolutely love their vanilla shakes. Sorry I can't tell you anything about the chocolate ones.

I would take Telly's advice. Lots of exercise, but she has been very successful with this method: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/you-want-maximum-t23291.html?t=23291&highlight=telly

...realizing that I am now eating like skinny people eat...and loving it!

Another thing I did...on the advice of my cousin who is a surgical nurse was to write the words 'lap band' with a marker on my stomach just below my boobs. I had a very irrational fear that the doc would 'forget' I was in for lap band surgery and would do a gastric bypass instead. I told her (RN cousin) about my fears and she did not help any -- she told me that it was a wise idea, as mistakes are made all the time. I felt kind of silly doing it, but she told me they are used to it.

An interesting article that I believe is pertinent to the topic at hand: Conscientious Rejector? First Lieutenant Ehren Watada still refuses Iraq deployment orders, calling the war illegal. A six-year prison term could result. Preliminary hearings are set for Thursday. http://hotzone.yahoo.com/b/hotzone/blogs19056

The whole thing just makes me sad. A 19-year old boy from our church was killed in Iraq about a year ago. My best friend's 18 year old son is a Marine and he already has his orders to go to Iraq in a few months. I worry that I will never see him again. Last night I was at the airport and saw about 100 young soldiers getting ready to head back from their holiday leave. They were so very young. These are our babies. I used to think that I believed in capital punishment. Now it just makes me sad. Yes...Saddam was a brutal leader and many innocent people died under his regime. Still, I don't understand why anyone can find glee in the death of another human being. We live in very sad times, indeed.

I'm back from my vacation in Hawaii (a wonderful one, I might add!) and just wanted to post a quick warning here. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security because he has given you the password to the spyware. Just because he has given you the password to one program does not mean that he does not have something else installed, so I would still not type anything you do not want him to see from a home computer. Instead, I would use one of the computers at the local library (free) and type anything you do not want him to see from there. Keep in mind that spyware programs also can be set up to send the info to a remote computer. Just be careful -- that would be my best advice to you on that. Definitely toss those shoes. My mom had a pair like that and ended up breaking both a wrist and an elbow (opposite arms) within a matter of weeks. I must confess that I was a teenager when it happened and my sister and I, too, were too busy laughing to help her. We just got angry looks from the folks who assisted her. Until you have been in the situation of seeing your mom sail through the air, please don't be too harsh on the kids. We love our mom and didn't mean to be rude -- it was sort of like the Chuckles the Clown funeral on Mary Tyler Moore -- if any of you are old enough to remember that. Anyway, after the second break she pitched the shoes. The nurse at the ortho doc's office said that they had seen a number of cases like that due to the same type of shoes. (Of course, as she told us the story, we started laughing again -- the visual of multiple airborne moms was just too much to handle.) Feel free to PM me if you wish. I will probably still be the tough love woman, but it doesn't mean that I don't care. MarySue

I have to agree a bit with the previous posters. We love you to pieces, but it is really easy to fall into victim mode if you're not careful when going through a divorce. So far through most of the past few months what you have shared with us about your situation has not changed all that much -- other than it has just gotten uglier. He still calls the shots, bullies you and gets his way -- and you continue to allow it to happen. The best Christmas present you can give to yourself and your kids is to stop being a doormat. This does not mean becoming a b!tch in heels, but it does mean to stop being a doormat. You will all be happier for it in the long run. I have not posted much to this thread lately, as I tend to get frustrated with women who allow themselves to fall into this role. I used to be that woman, so I know what you are going through. My first husband was both physically, emotionally and verbally abusive and, until my daughter was born, I put up with it -- even though I knew that it was wrong. I decided once she was born that if I was stupid enough to put up with this -- shame on me -- but that I was not going to allow her to grow up thinking this was normal behavior. You have to be a strong role model for your daughter. If you don't, her choices in men will likely mirror the situation she has seen at home and I know you do not want her to go through the same types of control/manipulation issues that you have. You are going through an emotional rollercoaster right now, but you still need to make sure that you put her best interests first -- and I am NOT talking about paying a certain percentage of the bills or living in the war zone just because neither of you is willing to leave the house. It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. In my case, it was terribily hard -- I went from being financially secure to living like a pauper for a few years, but it was life on my terms and nobody was pushing me around anymore and my daughter was not seeing the dysfunction of our home as being 'normal' behavior. Kids have enough drama and angst as teenagers -- they don't need to have a front row seat to their parents' emotional rollercoaster, too. I know that I preach taking the high road an awful lot and I am living proof that you can be empowered while still taking the high road. I used to be the wimpiest of women and a total doormat. I have since realized that I was doing neither myself nor my children any favors by being this way. What kind of a role model was I for my kids? Is this what I wanted my daughter to grow up to be? Absolutely not! Assertive does not have to mean aggressive -- it just means that you are no longer taking crap or playing into his little drama and games. You have said that you work at your daugther's school -- check into whether or not your school system offers an EAP -- employee assistance program. EAP is a benefit that many organizations offer and it wil allow you a certain number of FREE counseling sessions -- usually anywhere between 4-10 visits. I would take advantage of this if it is available. Again, you are not just doing it for yourself -- you are doing it for your children, too. They need to see you as being strong and proactive or they will not respect you. We can only be bullied and manipulated if we allow ourselves to do so -- so stop being that wimp now. Don't ask your kids whether or not they want to go to the aunt's. It is not fair to them. They are children -- even if in college -- and they want to please their parents. Keep them out of the middle. Quit fighting in front of them. Let the lawyers battle it out, but keep the battles and the games out of the kids' view. Quit paying the bills until the court orders you to do so. And, for goodness sake...how long it is it going to take the two of you to realize that the reason you are getting divorced is because you can no longer live in the same house???? So stop it, already. Somebody has to go...for the sake of your mental health and for the sake of the kids. One of you has to move out of the house. Just sell the darn thing and get it over -- the two of you are becoming territorial over the little stuff that doesn't matter. As long as the two of you are living together the drama will continue.

Is the family with the 16 kids the ones that build that huge house? If this is the same family I am thinking of, they actually have money from what I can tell. He is a real estate developer and ran for congress, so they can't be hurting too badly. I agree that I love Amy, but Matt gets on my nerves. She is the money manager and the backbone of the operation. I grew up on a farm and currently live on a small acreage farm, too, and some of the stuff that he comes up with makes me shake my head. I am glad that she is there to keep him in line!