AmandaJo

I am 32 Years old and I have struggled with weight my entire life.  Everything I would eat would depress me and the more depressed I got the more I ate.  This eventually led to smoking, then eating because I kept trying to quit smoking.  A little over 2 years ago I applied for a long overdue divorse and my daughter (who is 4 now) and I moved back home to NY to be with my family.  Eating and smoking became habbit.  It was my escape, bt really what I was doing was trapping myself.  Over the next few months I started putting all the pieces of my shattered life back toghether and I also met a wonderful man along the way.  Life was happy again, but I was now 75 pounds overweight.  I tried dieting, he gave me great support.  I tried every type of diet out there, nothing was working, and I was looseing hope to ever be myself again.  Around Thanksgiving of 2008 he proposed to me and of coarse I said yes I was so happy but... so overweight :(   Wedding plans were made and we decided to get married on a tropical island.  Beautiful and romantic, but...I was still overweight, still smokng and the more I tried the worse I became.  Then it happened.  I finally had my WOW moment.  The final straw as I call it.  My FOUR year old told me that I smelled like smoke and I was fat, and I actually said...WOW.  It was like someone slapped me out of a coma that I had been in.  Kids...they are innocent people and they speak the truth because they do not know any better.  Fat and Smelly is NOT the way that I want her to remember her mommy.  My Surgery and the start of my new life begins on Dec 2nd 2009 and it has been 5 months since I touched a cigarette.  Its the little things in your life that make the biggest impression sometimes...and that is my lapband story, but its only the first chapter...