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LoseIt!

LAP-BAND Patients
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Blog Entries posted by LoseIt!

  1. LoseIt!

    22 days to go...

    By LoseIt!,

    ...and only 7 Days until my pre-op appointment. Wow. I'm ready though!
     
    I decided that I wouldn't police myself over Christmas. I figured that if I gained 5 or 6 pounds, so be it. How many of you just laughed to yourself about my naivete? Yes, I actually gained 9.5 pounds. Add that to the 3 pounds I gained at Thanksgiving and I am almost 13 pounds heavier from the holidays. Ugh. Can't blame a soul but myself.
     
    I did work out last night for the first time in forever. My feet are killing me these days (from the extra weight) so I can't Jazzercise, but I worked out for 40 minutes on my Wii Fit. It isn't a super duper workout, but I sweat and got my heart rate up. It is a start and I will make a goal to do at least 30 minutes each day this week.
     
    One of the company partners brought in a Bacon Explosion today. What is that you ask? See for yourself: Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe of all Recipes Yikes! I had one bite. Probably my entire fat count for the whole day. Ha!
     
    Another random thought: I want to take my official "before" picture this weekend before I start my pre-op diet. I live alone and it is not super fun to imagine asking a friend to do it. (I want it to be in workout pants and top. Those seem to show the differences best to me.) So, I was thinking that I would take my outfit and camera to my support group meeting on Monday. I bet one of them would take it for me. I love having that group along with this site. It has really allowed me to talk about it a lot without driving my friends crazy. Plus, my mom talks to me about it all the time so that helps too.
     
    I just need to get through this week then time is going to fly by! Happy week, y'all!
  2. LoseIt!
    Two weeks from Saturday I'm getting my hair cut and I think I want to go with a whole new style. I have been growing it long for over a year now and I think I need something new for my new body. I have used a virtual hairstyler and I want to get your feedback. See the attached pictures and let me know what you think!!
     
    The first long bob is the most "me". It is what I will probably get unless I'm convinced otherwise. :smile: I think the short flippy 'do makes me look a little too matronly (or soccor mom anyway). Plus, I think it might be too high maintanence. The one labeled "Choppy" is my favorite short cut and then one I think I might be able to be talked into. It seems super fun! The "short crazy" one will be the one my stylist wants to do!! I'm an accountant, I don't know if I could keep it that "messy". There is another long bob picture in there that is slightly different...again, because that is the kind of cut I usually go for.
     
    Let me know what you think! I will try to keep a thick skin... :ohmy:
     
    Now, onto other things. I was another full pound up on the scale today. That is a stumper. However, I don't "feel" like I'm gaining and Jax tells me I shouldn't be...so, I'm going to continue to be patient. Today is a running day (lunch workout, 2 miles with 2 sets of hils and speed drills) which always makes for a good weigh in the next morning. We will see if that remains true.
     
    I'm not wearing anything new today, but I feel GREAT!! I have on an Old Navy wool grey skirt with black leggings and grey short boots. I have on a black T-shirt and a denim jacket on top. It feels very current without being TOO trendy. I would have preferred tights instead of leggings, but there is no way I would have been able to get tights on after working out at lunch!!
     
    SIDE NOTE: I just had an awesome moment. I was in my colleague's office and I noticed a couple of our staff members looking in but didn't think much of it. As I walked out, one of them (a girl who has been GREAT support this year) said that she pulled the other guy out of his cubicle to look at me. She said that she turned the corner and saw me in the office and didn't know who I was. When she realized it, she had to get someone else to see.
     
    ::Pause:: ::Blink, Blink::
     
    SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
     
    ::Deep breath:: Now back to work! Happy day everyone!!
  3. LoseIt!
    I realize I can't continue to eat like this every day and still reach my weightloss goals. However, it is nice to have some wonderful meals, enjoy them in healthy moderation, and not feel bad about it! Plus, I finally ran again and made it 2.25 miles at lunch yesterday.
     
    Last night was my monthly dinner with the girls. We started the group in October 2004 and I was so concerned when I got my surgery that it wouldn't be the same. While that's true, it has been a change in a good way. There are some months when dinner is right after a fill and I have had to have soup and watch the others eat. But that has only been a couple of times and all in all, it was worth it.
     
    But what I have found is that I'm so willing to try new things now and I don't mind getting something that would be loaded with calories because I know I'm only going to eat a portion. Many times in the past I was so focused on getting light protein and veggies so I wouldn't "blow my diet." Now I enjoy whatever I want in moderation.
     
    Last night I had a rum drink. I don't know what it was but it was STRONG, so I only had one. I started with the tortilla soup. It had an interesting texture...almost like enchilada sauce or more like a chili, but it was delicious. I ate half and saved the rest for dinner tonight. Then I had weiner schnitzel and spaetzel. I'm not going to lie, I got it because I totally love saying it! It is pounded out veal, lightly crusted and pan fried with a hearty pasta that resembled orzo to me. It was unbelievably delicious. I ate about 1/3 and have some for leftovers.
     
    In the past, I would have never tried something like that, but I'm getting quite adventuresome. I do love good food and it is a joy to be able to enjoy it!!
  4. LoseIt!

    I'm still a foodie!

    By LoseIt!,

    So even though I had to get up an hour early this morning, I already feel like it is a better day! I think sometimes Mondays are just kind of overcast type days. Weekend hangovers abound. :bored:
     
    So, yesterday was a normal day at work. I had a working lunch with the Controller at my Property Management company. He & I used to work together when my company owned the PM Company, but we sold it. He went with the PM and I stayed with the Asset Management company. We went to a place called the Ranch and it was delicious. I had the meatloaf which worried me a litte because I sometimes have trouble with ground meat. But it was so tender and had a delicious chipotle salsa to make it almost melt in your mouth. Plus, there were mashed potatoes! The waitress was very concerned that I didn't like my meal since I only ate half. I'm very excited to have the rest for lunch today!!
     
    Then I had a meeting with my boss and our insurance broker. He was in town networking. We met for about an hour then went to dinner. We went to Pappa Bros. steakhouse. They had a salmon option, so that's what I went with. I also had a glass of wine. This is one of those places where you buy a $50 steak, then have to order your side items separately. The guys ordered asparagus (which melted in your mouth), crab macaroni & cheese (unbelievably good), & au gratin potatoes (just in case we didn't already have enough cheese.)
     
    The side orders come family style, so our broker was piling them on my plate. I ate maybe a third of what was on my plate when I was done. He was SO UPSET that I didn't like my meal. I assured him that I eat very little at dinner and that I will love eating the leftovers. Life has so changed! In the past, I would have eaten everything on that plate and then leapt for dessert when he offered.
     
    When my boss got up to use the restroom, the broker (who is entirely too old for me) started telling me how awesome I am. Ha! Good to know that I'm appreciated. It was only slightly awkward. :-)
     
    I went to bed early so I could get up early. I had a CPE class in North Dallas at 8am! I left around 7am and got stuck in traffic. I didn't even make the class. That's annoying. BUT...I still feel like it is a good day. I'm going to work out at lunch and then I get to enjoy my leftover meatloaf. Then I have my monthly girls dinner tonight! I will have leftovers for the entire week after tonight. :-)
     
    Have a good day everyone!!
     
    Beth
  5. LoseIt!

    Another cousin...

    By LoseIt!,

    My cousin is coming for a visit today and is staying through Saturday. Joni and I grew up together. My dad has two brothers and a sister. He was closest with his sister, Joan, who was Joni's mother. Plus, Joni & I were close in age (just over a month a part.) So, we were constantly thrown together on family trips and reunions. Sometimes when my parents had lengthly plans, I would go stay with my aunt's family. My aunt was a VERY large woman. Close to 6' and very stocky. She was a nice woman, but not really the huggy/lovely type.
     
    Joan was the apple of my grandparents' eyes and by extension, so were her children. Joni and her brother Max, were treated just a little better and recieved more attention than the rest of us. There was a lot of resentment in my family over this. It was so interesting to learn years later that there was an hierarchy of sorts. Other cousins thought that my brother Scott & I received preferential treatment as well. And then apparently, next on the ladder were my Uncle Mick's kids and then finally my Uncle Richard's kids. At least that is how some people felt. Who knows, it could very well be true. In the end, no one was happy.
     
    My Aunt Joan died when Joni & I were seniors in high school. In my mind, Joni had always been spoiled and I didn't like her because I felt like she was a liar, cheat and thief. HAHA! We were babies, but that is how I felt. But when she lost her mom, I reached out. I don't remember it exactly, but I do remember that I felt rebuffed and she seemed to push the entire family away. Again, all of this is one-sided perspective and coming from a teenager who was probably pretty spoiled herself. :-)
     
    After that, I think Joni & I saw each other only a couple of times. We were cordial, but there was tension.
     
    Some of you may remember that my grandmother passed away in May. It was sad because she had pushed everyone away to the point that she was mostly alone when she died. I loved my grandmother, but I didn't like her much. I did learn how I didn't want to treat my family, so I guess there is that.
     
    Anyway, Joni (along with all the cousins) came to the funeral. It was like she was a completely different person. She had brought old pictures of the family, even as far back as our parents' childhood. She was absolutely delightful! At that point, I realized that bygones were bygones. I was probably a twerp when I was growing up too. Family is family and there shouldn't be room for silly ancient grudges. Instantly, I tossed it all away.
     
    Last week she contacted me and said that she is working in Houston for a few months and wanted to come for a visit. Just a year ago, I would have scoffed at anyone that would have said I would be looking forward to a visit from her. But I totally am!
     
    This journey of mine has truly changed me as a person. I want to be happy and it is very hard to be happy when you hold onto pain, judgement and anger. As far as I'm concerned, a new path for our friendship begins. And I couldn't be happier!!
     
    Have a great day everyone!!
     
    Beth
  6. LoseIt!

    Thanksgiving

    By LoseIt!,

    Hi everybody! Thanksgiving vacation was SO much fun and in even better news, my weight held steady. My goal was to lose 5 pounds this month and I lost 4. I will take that. Especially since I'm "taking a break". I have one more week like this, then I have my partial deflation on Monday. I will have a couple days with the ability to eat anything which I'm not too concerned about. I'm going to try and be good, but I guarantee you I will be having some pizza in there somewhere!! Tonsilectomy is on Thursday, 12/09 and after that, I'm guessing eating will not be an issue for quite a while...
     
    North Carolina was BEAUTIFUL!! I flew into Atlanta on Wednesday evening and drove up to Murphy, NC with my dad. The drive up the mountain was a little scary. It felt like the car was going to flip over backwards!! It was so good to see the family! Thanksgiving day started with a trek down the mountain which was steep so it was tough but highly doable. The walk up was MUCH harder, but I made it! I tried not to be annoyed with my nephews and SIL who RAN up. HA! Just kidding...they are some of my biggest cheerleaders.
     
    We had a bit of fun with dinner because the oven didn't work correctly. It was bad news for the turkey but everything else made it with success. I only cared about the mashed potatoes and noodles because that was all I needed for a yummy Thanksgiving!! Other than a short trip to explore the town, the rest of the day was spent watching the football games.
     
    Friday was quite chilly. We drove to Anna Ruby Falls and hiked up to see the waterfall. It was extremely beautiful. Then we went to Helen, GA for lunch. Helen is modeled after a German town and the downtown buildings all have a distinctly German fascade. We had to sit outside for lunch. Since it was cold, I think it made some people cranky. We walked around for a bit, but decided to leave soon. We headed Babyland General Hospital, home of the Cabbage Patch Kids. I love dolls, so I thought it was a neat little stop. It was a packed day, but we all slept well!!
     
    Saturday, we went hiking around Fires Creek. We had an absolute ball with the kids as they climbed around like mountain goats. In the afternoon we went to the movies. The group split up and I saw Tangled with my brother, nephew and niece. It was cute. Afterward, we went home and played games I had prepared. They were Minute to Win It style games and we had such a blast! My nephew Sam was crowned Family Showdown Champion!
     
    Sunday it was time to leave and I was ready for my own bed. It was a wonderful vacation!! Now I'm back to work to get everything I can possibly accomplish into the next 7 working days!
     
    I will check in before the surgery, but until then...Make every day a great day!!
     
    Beth
  7. LoseIt!
    I guess I should be glad that it only took me 30 minutes to figure out the new format today. Whew! I'm not so good with change. It's funny, because I have spent the last few days contemplating my band and my next steps. I had no idea the site was down!
     
    Many wonderful people I have met since being banded have talked about how great it is that they no longer have to diet. They just work with the band and the pounds melt away. I'm truly so glad for them and wish everyone had the same success! However, not everyone does. I, for instance, have had WONDERFUL success, but I have had to work at it.
     
    I have come to the realization that I'm tired of dieting. Now, dont' get me wrong, dieting this year has been SO MUCH BETTER than dieting in previous years. It was easiER than in previous years and I was able to be PRODUCTIVE. If I do my normal routine...which does include exercise...I can MAINTAIN steady with the band. But in order to lose, I have to watch my food intake just like any other DIET I have ever been on and I have to actively increase my exercise.
     
    Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint. Quite the contrary! I have never been able to stick to a weight loss plan for 10 months in the past. I have never been able to lose 75 pounds before. These are all gifts in my mind!
     
    But a diet is a diet and I'm tired of working at it. Soooo...y'all know me and my never ending need for a plan. And, I'm not just going to "stop". But I need to stop this frustrating water treading.
     
    So, I have 2 weeks and 2 days until my throat is (literally) cut. When it is time for my tonsilectomy, I know that Band or no Band, I will not be able to eat normally for 10-14 days. Until then, I plan to live normally. I plan to exercise. I plan to not eat like a crazy person. I plan to use all of the good habits that I have developed over the last year. Additionally, I will continue to log my exercise time and my daily weight.
     
    But Jax is going to take a vacation. I'm NOT going log my calories or any Bodybugg information. What I hope this does is to take the HYPERfocus off my diet and just let me chill for a bit.
     
    Two weeks until the surgery, then three weeks after. By then, it will be 2011 and like any NORMAL person with weight issues, I will have New Year's resolutions and I will be excited. Even with this break, I should be in Onederland by my bandiversary. I had hoped to LOSE 100 pounds by then, but I'm flexible and I refuse to be disappointed.
     
    Tomorrow I leave for Thanksgiving vacation. My parents, brother's family and I are renting a cabin in the mountains in North Carolina. It is going to be so much fun!! I will check in when I get back and let you all know how it goes. Have a happy and wonderful Thanksgiving! I certainly have much to be thankful for this year and you all are among my blessings.
     
    Thank you.
     
    Beth
  8. LoseIt!

    Yay for fills!

    By LoseIt!,

    First, I want to stress that I truly wasn't compliment fishing yesterday. I was just so happy that I had seemed to get past a mental block of mine. But your comments just made me feel so good. Especially you, Janet! Your email made me decide to change my avatar, so I will be doing that soon! Thank you all, truly.
     
    Okay, onto the rest. I was sick yesterday. I'm afraid that until I get my tonsilectomy (29 more days) I will be constantly fighting this. But I went to the doctor and got some meds. About 2 hours after I took them, I started feeling better. I think it was the steroids. I feel SO MUCH better today. It is like I am a different person.
     
    But I was determined to get my fill yesterday. So I went and told the doctor that I wasn't as concerned with how much I was eating at once as I was that it didn't keep me full for very long. He took a look and gave me .25 cc's. The last few times I got fills, I only got .1 cc, so this is quite a bit more. I was a little nervous that it would be too much. I sipped my water just fine and I left.
     
    I had asked my PCP for liquid antibiotics, but it turned out that none of the pharmacies (including the compounding pharmacies) have them in stock. I would have had to wait until today (probably this evening) to start taking them. So I went with the horse pills. The steroids were small and caused me no issues. I crushed up the pill and put it in my frozen custard. It tasted disgusting, but went down just fine.
     
    I had a lot of gurgling through the evening, but I didn't have any reflux problems while I was sleeping. YAY!
     
    Today, I had my coffee and smoothie for breakfast. I took my steroids and even popped my full antibiotic without thinking about it and it went down just fine. I guess I'm not TOO FULL at all! :scared2:
     
    I'm eating some soup for lunch today and I will do that tonight too. Tomorrow I will start on some mushy soft stuff like mashed potatoes or something.
     
    I'm sitting out of Jazzercise tonight. It is hard for me to really get up the energy when I haven't eaten anything solid. BUT, my cousin is coming for a visit tomorrow and I am going to go home and organize at home. My housekeeper comes tomorrow and she will clean, but I need to sort out the clutter. That should burn a few calories for sure!
     
    Last night I got on my Wii Fit for the first time in MONTHS. I'm surprised my little Mii believed it was me. Anyway, I had lost 60 pounds since the previous time which was AWESOME to see!! But I had to laugh when the Wii still made sad noises and told me I was obese. Stupid Wii. BUT I was happy to see that the line didn't go off the charts anymore, it just hovered in the obese section.
     
    And finally, I get to today's clothing choice. My favorite part! The last time I had lost a lot of weight was 2005-2006. In 2006, my company took on a new partner company and my group tripled in size. I was in charge of the hiring and averaged 2 interviews a day. There would be some days I would have FIVE! I felt like an HR person...it was good experience though. Anyway, I had no time for myself and I put on about 50 pounds in 6 months. I hung there for about 3 years before I gained another 30 pounds and started this journey.
     
    Sooo...at the end of Winter 2006, before I had gained anything, my mom and I went shopping. I tried on a XL sweater dress that I never dreamed would fit me. Not only did it fit, but it looked spectacular! Unfortunately, since it was the end of the season, I couldn't wear it and I put it in the closet until the following Winter. Well, we all know what comes next. By that time, I was entirely to big to fit into the dress.
     
    BUT I kept it all this time and today, I took it out of the closet, took off the tags and wore it! Woo hoo! I wanted to take a pic for my mom, so I thought I would go ahead and include it. I'm 2 pounds away from the lowest I was at that time and only 8 pounds from the lowest I have ever been as an adult (1999). It is so close that I can taste it!
  9. LoseIt!

    Changing perspectives.

    By LoseIt!,

    I chose not to post my "Casual" pictures yesterday. It was because I didn't think they were very flattering so I considered retaking them today. But then I thought more about it and realized that even though I don't think they are as flattering as some, I still don't dislike them!
     
    For years, I have hated having my picture taken because of my weight. I would work at getting a good angle, hiding in the back, or just avoiding the camera. Now, I don't hide at all. Sometimes the shot isn't my favorite, but I'm not embarrassed by it. And that makes a HUGE difference.
     
    I realized that is quite a big milestone. And now I'm PROUD to post my pictures. I have the full body shots from the beginning, last month and current and the head shots from last month and current.
     
    I will NOT HIDE anymore!
  10. LoseIt!

    Renewed vigor!

    By LoseIt!,

    It is so very interesting how when I don't stay current on my blogs, I don't hold myself as accountable for my weightloss. Don't get me wrong, the Band keeps me from going nutso and losing all control. But I find if I'm not logging my goings on, I also don't police myself as much as I should.
     
    I have found that this journey is FULL of recommittments and that's exactly what I'm doing today. I need to lose 6.6 lbs. to reach the 75 lbs. lost mark. I'm committing today to do that by the end of the month. It is not by any means an aggressive goal for me, but it is enough to make me work at it. I'm going to New Orleans the first weekend in October and I think it would be lovely to have reached my goal. It starts with a 2 mile run today at lunch!!
     
    I'm getting a fill tomorrow, so that should help with the hunger. While it is nice to have some flexibility on what I can eat, it is harder to make good choices when you are hungry. DUH! I guess that just brings me right back to why I started this process!! Although my allergies are causing some acid reflux and I'm sure that tightening the Band will make it worse. I will ask the doc about that tomorrow.
     
    Today is the day for picture updates. I have attached full body shots for today, one month ago, and the start. Also attached are head shots from today and the start. I'm really feeling good!! Tomorrow will be the super fun spandex pics. Ha!
  11. LoseIt!
    First and foremost (ripping off the bandaid), the bad news is that I only lost one pound in October. Yikes! I know you are not supposed to say "only" because a pound lost is a pound lost. And for that, I am thankful. If I had worked hard for this pound, then I would be thrilled! But you all know with all of my vacations and Halloween, etc., I have spent a lot of time off the wagon this month. That's okay and I'm not beating myself up about it, but that is why I am only one pound down. Time to pay the piper!!
     
    HOWEVER, there is a lot of good news too. That one pound took me out of Class 2 obesity and into Class 1. That is a nice goal to reach! Also, I lost 7 inches on my body this month, including 2.5" on my bust, 1.5" on my waist and over a half inch on each upper arm. So, I'm tightening up and getting smaller which is the real goal anyway. Also...2nd 5K! I attached a picture from the race. I'm getting stronger and increasing my stamina, so that's great!

    November, here I come!!
     

  12. LoseIt!
    Tuesday, I went to the doctor because I was sick. While the doc was feeling up my tonsils, he seemed to get serious and really started pressing on my neck. He said that he was feeling small nodes on my thyroid.
     
    He went on to say that I needed to get an ultrasound to confirm. He said that he has found several of these types of nodes on patients and only twice has it turned out to be anything. But in both of those cases, it was found so early, that they were easily treatable.
     
    So, today I went for my ultrasound. My first prayer is that my doc's fingers are too sensitive and there isn't actually anything there. :-) Until I hear otherwise, I will do my best not to think about it.
     
    On another note, I had a nice time with my cousin last night. We have so many biological (?) things in common, but our personalities are very different. We talked some about our weight struggles. It definitely runs in our family.
     
    I do enjoy my downtime at home by myself, but I really like to surround myself with people. Joni, on the other hand, is more of a loner. She was showing me pictures of her last few years and she spends a lot of time camping on her own. I admire her a lot for doing so much on her own and not letting it stop her.
     
    Although I don't think we have enough in common to be the best of friends, I am glad she is back in my life. I think family is important and I do hope that we keep in touch.
     
    Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
     
    Beth
  13. LoseIt!

    Flexible or lazy?

    By LoseIt!,

    One beautiful thing that has come from my transition over the last couple of years is that I am much more flexible and I can work through my stress in a more productive way. I have a contract employee that is supposed to work for me 3 days a week. She is wonderful person and capable of doing a fabulous job. However, she is pregnant and very sick...legitimately, ridiculously sick. My heart goes out to her and what is even worse is that with her first baby she was sick through the ENTIRE pregnancy. I just can't even imagine! But in the meantime, the work just isn't getting done and I'm starting to feel the walls closing in.
     
    I took a minute to just stop and evaluate. First, I realized that I was stressing a lot about getting my exercise in. While I DO NOT want to give up on my exercise, I do need to be realistic. I have been working out more lately to offset the extra I eat because of my hunger. I decided that it makes sense to take a lunch hour and go get a fill. I'm not sure why I felt that I should put it off. I eat well over a cup of food at each meal and I'm still quite hungry between meals. Common sense says, time for a fill and that is what I'm going to do. I have to wait until 11/09 because that is first opening, but it is scheduled and that is one thing off the list of stressers.
     
    Second, I am going to have to work some overtime. That's quite okay, but I have to figure out what I'm going to give up to do it. Today, I'm not willing to give up dinner with friends, so I gave up walking at lunch. I will make a concentrated effort to do SOMETHING when I get home. Maybe 100 crunches and 20 pushups? And I will be okay with that and not beat myself up.
     
    I'm still Jazzercising tomorrow and running on Saturday. That is still over 3 hours of exercise for the week, so nothing to sneeze at.
     
    I will also endeavor to make good choices at dinner tonight. I have done quite well with food this week, so far...especially since I have been so hungry.
     
    So, to summarize, I have to find the balance between JUSTIFCATION and FLEXIBILITY. I have a feeling that it is going to be a long lesson.
     
    Sidenote: several people have asked me about Jax. Jax is my Bodybugg. You can learn about it at bodybugg.com. They aren't for everyone, but I have found (as a person who thrives on data) it to be extrememly helpful. Two thoughts...first, the separate display screen isn't necessary to purchase. I haven't used mine since the second week I had it. Second, you will have to log everything you eat to be successful. I never did that before, but I do now. The numbers don't lie and it forces me to truly evaluate myself.
     
    Peace out!! :-)
  14. LoseIt!

    Go, go, go!

    By LoseIt!,

    Just got my flu shot, so I'm ready for Fall! :confused:
     
    Last night I had a few moments of thought about my journery. I'm in my "small" range. I'm within 10-15 pounds of my lowest weights as an adult. I wondered briefly if this could be it for me. I mean, I look pretty great! I've gotten into almost every "skinny" piece of clothing I have. What can I really expect?
     
    And then I started looking at some pictures. My SIL was finally able to send me pics from my 5K. As I was looking at them, I realized that if I can do THAT...I can do MORE! It might take 3 years, but who cares? I'm loving my life right now and I'm going at a pace that I can continue for as long as I need. Sometimes, I guess I just need to remind myself. :thumbup:
     
    Speaking of my 5K pictures, I have attached a few. As I mentioned before, my SIL was absolutely awesome! I'm truly not sure I could have done it without her.
     
    Today I'm committing to running 2 miles at lunch and Jazzercising for an hour tonight.
     
    Fun NSV: I was able to wear a dress today that I have had for YEARS, but it hasn't fit. It looks really nice and I've gotten several compliments!!
     
    Have a wonderful day!!
  15. LoseIt!

    Space & pics

    By LoseIt!,

    What a wonderful weekend at the NASCAR races! We always have a good time, but this weekend seemed particularly fun.
     
    I have noticed something interesting about thin people vs. fat people. Now don't get me wrong, this is going to be a generalization (and honestly, there is no good or bad) but just something I noticed. Overweight people (especially women) are typically very aware of the space around them and how they fit into that space, more so in my opinion than thinner people.
     
    Example #1 - My BFF Cori is not only thin, she is petite. At 5'0" tall and small build, she doesn't often have to worry about much in the size department. There were four of us at lunch the other day sitting in a booth. Cori & I both scooted in to each end. I put my purse on the floor and my jacket on my lap to make sure that the other person in my seat (a super petite person) had plenty of room. I was sitting with my arm touching the wall so I was as far over as I could be. I noticed that Cori put her purse by her side against the wall of the booth and was seated more toward the middle. They seemed to have plenty of room, so it certainly isn't a big deal. But it did make me realize that I think about the space that I take up (even though it is WAY less now) more than smaller people.
     
    Example #2 - I was at a company event and we were all in a big room standing in a circle. There were these desk tables around the room and I decided to sit on one. I precariously perched on it and settled in with as little weight movement as possible. A guy I work with who probably weighs 60 pounds less than me came over and jumped on it with the full force of his body. I cringed as I waited for the desk to settle. It didn't break and I was so relieved. It is funny because Chris didn't think anything about it, but if the desk would have fallen down, I would have been mortified. I would have felt that people would have been looking at me...not him. Again, he didn't do anything wrong at all. I just noticed that we approached doing the same thing very differently.
     
    As a fat person(for I will always be that in my mind, I feel), I think I will always be more concious of my surroundings. I think sometimes that will be a very good thing and sometimes I think it will be a bad thing. It is just something that will make me a little different from someone who has never experienced literally not being able to fit in.
     
    Now...picture time! Today I will post my spandex pics and tomorrow I will post my casuals. Changes are way more subtle now, but I can still see them.
     
    I have attached my front pics from last month and this month. And I included side pics from the start, last month and this month. I think I'm actually feeling better about my arms. :-)
  16. LoseIt!
    Weightloss has been a lifelong struggle for me as it has most likely been for most of you. In order to lose weight, I had to sacrifice and deprive myself of so much in order to be successful at it.
     
    It has been a challenge this year to completely change my perspective. Although weightloss is my primary goal, I want to enjoy my life as I live it. However, this week, my body seems to be rewarding itself for bad behavior.
     
    I had a fill last week and after a 1/2 pound gain the week before, I lost that plus and additional 4 pounds! I felt strongly that a lot of that was water weight and dehydration that would be put back on. But I got to this week and I'm still losing.
     
    Monday, I didn't work out at all. I had a work lunch and a work dinner, both at delicious restaurants with richly prepared food. On Tuesday, I ran a couple miles at lunch, but I had a decadent dinner. Both nights I also had a drink before dinner and coffee with cream after dinner. Yesterday, I had TWO Otis Spunkmyer (aka HIGH CALORIE) cookies at lunch and finished off the leftovers from Monday night. I did work out, but I finished the night with BOTH ice cream AND two pieces of dark chocolate. All of that and I'm still down over a half pound since Sunday.
     
    Today we are having our Thanksgiving pitch in at work. There will be casseroles and carbs galore! I plan to enjoy it. :smile: I know I tend to be conservative when I log calories. I will put down the calories for the entire serving even if I didn't eat all of it. Or I will put down calories for 1/2 if I eat more like 1/3. I figure there are always hidden calories I miss, so I want to be conservative. However, I wonder if I am being more conservative than I realize. Am I getting so used to eating smaller portions that I don't need to "pad" the numbers so much?
     
    I know that my mom is constantly making comments about me "eating all that food". I think I talk about what I eat as if I ate it all and maybe I even have that in my head, but in reality I didn't. I told her this morning that I had a bagel for breakfast yesterday, but I actually had half a bagel and I don't think I even ate the last 2-3 bites. There is a big difference there.
     
    I guess it comes down to my concern that suddenly I will wake up tomorrow up 4.5 pounds higher which would make me sad. My scale is telling me to keep doing what I'm doing, but my head is yelling at me that I'm not sacrificing enough to be this successful and it will all come crashing down.
     
    I will enjoy our pitch in lunch today, but then I will also work myself out like crazy at Jazzercise. Maybe that isn't bad/nuts/indulgent...maybe it is just normal. I guess only time will tell!!
     
    Beth
  17. LoseIt!
    According to my scale, I gained 2.5 lbs this weekend while on vacation. Whoops! Now, much of that (I think) is bloating which happens to me when I travel. Based on history, I feel sure I will be down at least 2 of those in the next day or two. So, while it is an annoyance, I'm not really freaked out.
     
    However, what I am starting to notice is my general lack of discipline. I haven't been acting "out of control" per se, but I have been following more of a maintenance plan than a "losing" plan.
     
    Interestingly, from the day I got Jax at the end of July, I logged information every single day. That is, until the first weekend in October when I went to NOLA. Then there is a gap the next weekend when I went to Indy. Then another gap the next weekend when I WAS HOME! And another gap this weekend while I was in NC. I find it interesting because for the nine weeks I wore Jax and recorded info, I lost weight every week but one.
     
    In the four weeks since, I have lost twice and gained twice. So what does that tell me? It is obvious to me that I need the accountabilitiy.
     
    So, I went back over this weekend and tried to log absolutely everything I ate and it is not a pretty sight. Did you know that Starbucks lemon pound cake has 500 calories?? I don't even like it that much!!
     
    I'm sure it comes to no shock to you at all that I have a plan. :thumbup:
     
    1. For the next 4 weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I'm going to focus on good food choices. I'm not saying it is going to be all chicken breasts and veggies, but I will truly shoot for that 1,000 calorie deficit a day. (My goal is to consume 1800-2000 calories and burn 2800-3000.)
     
    2. But that requires exercise. So I'm adding the morning runs. This is going to be SO HARD for me. But it is time. So, twice per week (and I can choose the days that work best with my schedule), I will run in the mornings before work. This week I plan today and tomorrow.
     
    3. Also, I will not lessen my other workouts because I have added the morning runs. That means 2-3 Jazzercise classes per week and a total of 5-7 work outs per week. This week, I will Jazzercise tonight and Thursday. I will also work out at lunch (bike or walking) Tuesday and Wednesday. Plus I have my 5K on Saturday. So, that will be 7 separate work outs for a total of 4 1/2 hours.
     
    I know I can do it. I don't even question that anymore. I just have to make myself get it done! I need to focus on how it is going to make me feel.
     
    By the way, I had a FABULOUS time with my friend and godson! The Outer Banks area is beautiful and the weather was spectacular. We went on a Wild Horse tour which was a lot of fun. I have included some pictures from the trip.
     
    Happy Monday!
  18. LoseIt!

    What scares me.

    By LoseIt!,

    It has been interesting to me to realize that I'm not scared of the food regimen. I know it will be no picnic and there will be times that I will be so frustrated I won't see straight, but I also know that is what I need.
     
    What is making me nervous is more medical. I have narrowed it down to three main issues.
     
    1. I'm concerned that I will always be thinking of this foreign thing inside me. I was at Jazzercise the other day doing crunches and I wondered if I would be able to do the same thing with the port. I know people have run marathons and such after being banded so I feel sure there isn't any exercise restriction once healed, but it is something I need to know. I have to be sure that I can be okay with living with this. I have a small fear that I will end up doing NOTHING because I will be so nervous about messing up my band.
     
    2. Lap band seems relatively new and I'm concerned that we don't fully know the long term effects. What happens 20 years from now?
     
    3. What if I mess up and have to go to the hospital? I think I'm quite responsible, but it seems that you can't always control everything. I'm concerned that something will get stuck and I will have to go to the hospital where they know very little. I'm concerned that I will do something stupid (like eat the wrong thing or too much) and it will kill me.
     
    I have my initial meeting with doctor in a couple of weeks and will ask him about these things. But I was interested to see what you all have to say?
     
    I know that without a doubt, doing nothing will lead me to bad health and sadness. I start feeling guilty because I "should" just diet already and lose the weight I need to lose. But I've tried numerous times with varied success and I know that in the long run I can't do it on my own.
     
    Everyday I feel more and more confident that LB is the right choice for me. I just have to get myself right with my concerns.
  19. LoseIt!

    Monday it is...

    By LoseIt!,

    I don't like to dwell, so I'm dealing with the hair situation. I know it isn't a bad cut because some people REALLY seem to like it. But I've figured out that it just isn't me. I think it will take about 3 or 4 months to really get it grown out enough to get the cut I want. I think there are a lot of people that look super cute with short hair, I just don't think I'm one of them.
     
    I went and bought a few little barrettes and headbands to jazz it up a little bit. It is what it is. From here on out, I will just work it the best way I know how. :thumbup: Like several of you said, it is just hair and it will grow back. No big life change.
     
    So, other than the hair debacle. the weekend went well. Friday, I sat at home and watched the sad, sad Rangers game. Saturday, I sat at home and watched the super fun Rangers game! It was a nice treat to cheer me up. Then we went for tacos, which is another treat!
     
    After church and breakfast yesterday, my BFF and I went to see a show. We have season tickets to a regional theater in Dallas. They are quite a liberal group and can get a bit risque, but they always put on an excellent show. And they are never boring!! Yesterday was no exception.
     
    Last night I finished my weekend with the Colts game. Since that ended well, I would say I had a good weekend.
     
    Hope your Monday is a good one!
  20. LoseIt!

    Monthly Recap

    By LoseIt!,

    Another 7.6 pounds down! Yeehaw! I was concerned that my weight loss would slow down a lot after last month's lower (not bad, just lower than normal) loss. But I seemed to have bounced back which makes me VERY happy. Too reach my next goal of 199 pounds, I need to lose 12 pounds. I am going to aggressively push to reach that by Thanksgiving. I can do it!!
     
    I worked out 681 minutes in September which works out to an average of 22.7 minutes per day. I can live with that! I also finished my first 5K which is an amazing accomplishment for me!!
     
    I lost 7 inches this month. Most notably, I lost another .75 inches from EACH thigh. I totally believe that my thighs are as small as they have ever been as an adult. I can't imagine how they will look by Christmas!! Also, I lost 1.5 inches off my bust and 2 inches off my hips. Since January, I have lost 13.50 inches off my waist and 13 inches off my hips. Incredible! I was totally muffin-topping out of size 3 Lane Bryant jeans (that's around 22/24W) at the time of surgery and now I fit perfectly into a lovely Misses' size 16.
     
    What a super fun and happy day!! I just can't envision what future months will bring. Thank you all for your continued support! I will catch up with you all on Monday after my trip to NOLA!
     
    ~~ Laizzes les bons temps rouler! ~~
  21. LoseIt!

    Feeling good!

    By LoseIt!,

    It's Monday! Jax and I are starting to live in harmony again. Last week was a real eye opener as I discussed in my Friday post. I typically gain weight over the weekend, so I'm proud that I was able to lose a little bit this weekend. Maybe I'm actually learning!
     
    I have a lot of fun things coming up! I'm visiting my brother and his family Labor Day weekend, my parents are coming to visit in mid-September, I'm going to New Orleans the first weekend in October, I'm going to visit a friend in NC mid-October, I'm going to the NASCAR race the first weekend in November, then next thing I know the holidays will be here!! That doesn't take into account all the local things I have going on.
     
    Speaking of visiting my brother...my SIL emailed me yesterday and asked if I wanted to enter a 5k that weekend with her and my nephew. I had mentioned when I visited them in May that I wanted to do it and made it my goal. I have been slacking off on the running though because of my aching feet. I said yes, so I better get on the stick! I've never gone more than 1.85 miles at once. I still think I will be able to do it though. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment!! :mad:
     
    In preperation, I'm not going to do a ton of running because I don't want to mess up my feet. So, I'm going to do A LOT of cardio. I plan to do Jazzercise 4 times this week. I also plan to run twice. We will see how that goes then make a plan for next week.
     
    I feel detoxed and ready to go!! Happy Monday, my friends!
  22. LoseIt!

    Better now.

    By LoseIt!,

    Last I spoke to you all I was battling a sinus/ear infection. Tuesday night I decided to go to my session with Master Bruce (my trainer) anyway. That was probably a mistake. I felt better short term, but by the time I went to bed I had a full on fever. I went to the doctor Wednesday, was diagnosed with an infection and got some antibiotics. By bedtime I was starting to feel myself. Yesterday, I felt better but work was crazy since I had stayed home the day before. That's why I always hate to call in sick! :smile:
     
    I was disappointed when I weighed this morning because I was up to the weight I started the week. I had lost some earlier in the week, but I was tight while I was sick. And the high calorie liquids I was drinking during the height of it didn't help. Oh well, my goal of losing 2.8 pounds this week isn't going to happen. But I will keep a bit of the goal and see if I can lose a little something...anything...just something lower than last week. I will be happy with that.
     
    I'm not working out today and I'm going out to eat for two meals. I will have to be careful. For lunch we are having Mexican. I usually do okay there if I stay away from the tortilla chips. Goal step #1: no tortilla chips. If I eat the protein portion of my meal supplemented with some salsa, I will be good to go. I don't know where we are going tonight, but I'm sure I can steer it to something healthy...maybe in the seafood family.
     
    After dinner tonight, we are going to Painting with a Twist. It is BYOB and they teach you to paint a picture. I'm not very artistic, so this should be interesting. I will post a picture of my picture next week. :tongue2:
     
    Have a wonderful weekend!!
  23. LoseIt!

    On an upswing today!

    By LoseIt!,

    So far, so good. I woke up this morning and, as usual, weighed first thing. All but 2 tenths of the vacation weight gain had melted away...yay!! I was able to get up a little later than normal because I'm staying home this morning while I wait for my new chair. I attached a picture. It is a little wild, but the rest of my room is kind of plain so I'm hoping it looks good!
     
    Anyway, I went for my run. It took me 27 minutes to run 1.75 miles. Since I would like to run my 5K on Saturday in 45 minutes, I'm off the pace. This morning's pace is more like my Labor Day run pace. So, yay for doing it, but boo for not improving much.
     
    The whole first mile, I kept thinking that there would be no way I could do this tomorrow. I just hurt too much. But as soon as I was done, I was totally planning to do it again. Ha! No pain, no gain! :thumbup:
     
    I have just over 9 pounds to lose by Thanksgiving, so I have to keep at it. Yesterday, I did well with my calories and I was proud of my choices. I really wanted some ice cream last night, but I refrained! It's the little things that make me happy.
     
    So, my run is Saturday and it is Halloween weekend. I have a Halloween shirt and some devil horns, but I was hoping to find something more. I bought a pair of "one size fits most" halloween tights last weekend, but they were too small. I will keep them for next year! I would like to find something like that though.
     
    Have a great day everyone!!
  24. LoseIt!
    I just read a whole bunch of posts from people who have had bad experiences with LB. There were studies sited and personal experiences shared. Sigh. Then there were people not being so nice to the posters. There are flat out denials, but then there is some compromise. Double sigh.
     
    I do understand that this is not magic. I understand that it will be up to me to make good food choices, to chew well, to exercise, and do all of the other things I need to do. I understand that I will need to listen to my body and trust my intincts.
     
    My biggest fear from what I was reading is that I will either feel no restriction or feel so restricted that I'm constantly throwing up. There were several people that had that experience and it scares me because the point of the LB is restriction, but too much is so unhealthy and counterproductive.
     
    My second biggest fear is that my stomach will erode around the band or that I will develop scar tissue on my liver and not realize it until a lot of damage has been done.
     
    I'm certainly not talking myself out of this, but it I can't say that it didn't dampen my spirits a bit this afternoon.
     
    I guess everyone faces the same thing. I am definitely not turned off by how much work it will be, but it is disheartening to think that I will do this, work hard and still could end up in a worse place.
     
    I prefer happy posts. :tongue2:
  25. LoseIt!

    Updated pics

    By LoseIt!,

    I took my montly "casual" pics today. It is the first month that I don't really see a difference. But then again, I only lost 4 pounds since the last picture. At least it is the right direction!!

    I will take my super fun spandex pictures tonight at Group. We will see how that goes.

    I wrote a nice little blog this morning, then my computer ate it. So, I'm going to have to bail this morning.

    Have a great day and I will talk to you tomorrow!

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