ouroborous

Thanks for the advice! I love squats -- I think they work wonders for my lower body. I just don't want to hurt myself, and it sounds like you've got good advice. I'll try it out, and pester my trainer to help me with my form.

So, my trainer's got me doing barbell squats (4x12 reps) as the start of my legs routine. It's brutal (all quads/hams, with one calf exercise thrown in for good measure), but effective. The only thing I'm not sure of is form -- specifically, foot placement. I know that I'm supposed to place my feet a "little more than shoulder width apart), but doing that seems to put a lot of strain on my knees as I lift the bar. Specifically, as I lift, my knees want to separate, and if my feet aren't placed right, that seems to put a lot of torque/twisting motion on my hips and knees. Fortunately, I'm not doing much weight on the bar yet, so I haven't injured myself. But I'd really like to correct my form BEFORE my weight gets higher. Anyone else dealt with this? Got any tips on form for barbell squats? (NB: I'm using the Smith machine for the squats; without a spotter, it's all I feel comfortable with right now.)

I've started working on my own private weight/fitness tracking site. http://gym-bunny.herokuapp.com/weights It's still early days -- if you click on the "weights" item, you can see that my weight timeline is hard-coded into the app (well, it's in the database). What I really want to do is add workout information, sets, reps, and so on, and get the same charting capabilities that I have for weight. What's nice is that I built the weight graph as a reusable component, so as soon as I figure out the data schema for the exercise stuff, it should be as simple as adding another page to the app to display it. Yes, I know that a lot of this functionality is replicated elsewhere, but no site (Livestrong, Fitocracy, etc.) is exactly what I want. Either they're trying too hard to sell you stuff, or they have a clunky interface, or something. So, since I'm a programmer, I figured I'd do it myself To be added: Multi-user interface/login capabilities (right now it's all me, all the time, but it needs to support multiple users). I'm intimately familiar with how to do this, but it's a hassle in initial development, so I may just leave it single-user for now. Even if people on the internet trash my database on Heroku, I can just reset it by uploading my dev database. Add/edit/delete data points via AJAX Mobile testing! I'm using a clean, bootstrap responsive layout, but I haven't hit it on my phone/iPad yet; I need to make sure that everything looks good and performs well. I'm especially nervous to see if the charting engine (jqPlot) works on resource-constrained mobile devices. Yes. I'm a geek.

Thanks for the info!

So, I'm getting to the point where I'm considering a tummy tuck. What's left of my stomach is mostly just deflated skin (looks ICKY) and when I pull my loose skin up, I have a nice, taut waistline... under the skin! I know that loose skin won't go away (it's hard to get rid of at 22, and I just turned 42!) without surgery, so... I'm biting the bullet. I'll probably wait till summer is over (since I don't want to be laid up recovering during the few very nice weather days we get here in Seattle), so I'm guessing that I'll go under the knife in the fall or early winter. I need recommendations for a good plastic surgeon in the Seattle area. Anyone know of any that they've had good experiences with? Questions: If my abdominals are crazy-strong (they are; it's not a slack muscles thing) do they always have to rebuild the muscle? Or could it simply be cutting off the loose skin and the last of the fat? I'm hoping I can avoid the muscle cutting and stitching because it will increase the risk and recovery time. Almost all of the fat left around my midsection is in the "flanks" area in the back -- towards the side, right above my hipbone over my butt. Does the tuck remove this, or do I have to lose this last bit of stubborn fat before the tuck? Will the tuck pull the skin on my upper torso/legs and thighs a little taughter? I'm considering the "full lower body lift" procedure but I know very little about it. Thanks in advance!

Well, long time no see! I haven't had much to report on the sleeve front, so I haven't been online much, but I've had a few notable notables lately, so I'll summarize. First, I hit my new goal of 210, and passed it! Today's weigh-in was 205.9, which is amazing. I might actually break the 200 lbs barrier! At 6'1", that's a pretty good weight for a 42 year old, especially considering that my muscle mass percentage according to body fat analyzers is quite high. I'm working out a LOT, and I just signed up for a new gym for 9 months, for a 15 week session with a personal trainer (spendy, but that's part of the motivation), and I'm carefully controlling my food intake. I'm dating much more actively lately, and seeing a lot more attention from the ladies. It's great and fun! Second, I think my calories -- or maybe just my carbs -- may have been too LOW! I found I was getting very tired and worn down by late afternoon, almost sleepy. I was compensating with caffeine and trying to go to bed early (tough when you go out on a lot of dates!). But after a training session yesterday at 8:30 am, I suddenly felt VERY sleepy -- not winded, not muscle-tired, but like I literally wanted to lie down and sleep. And when I've felt that odd, heavy, lethargic feeling in the past, it's always been nutrition-related. So I've brought in a few healthy carb Snacks to work, and I'm trying to intersperse healthy snacks with my normal eating. At 205 lbs., I no longer have to be on my restrictive, 1100 calorie/day "fast loss" diet, anyway -- especially considering that I'm working out with weights, doing cardio, and so on every day.

Well, I went for a massage, and it was... very interesting. I did end up getting physically aroused at a couple of points (I suppose it's a physiological thing), but due to how professional the establishment was, and how well I was "draped," it was not a problem. And the interesting thing is that I had a couple of odd "flashes" of emotion. Towards the end of the massage, as I was lying there, on my back (basically, my most vulnerable), getting a completely non-sexual massage, I had these odd moments of "trust" and "vulnerability." I think I flashed back towards being a little boy, being completely trusting and open. I really don't think it needs analysis beyond this, it was just a sort of regression to a more trusting state. Unfortunately, it WAS towards the end of the massage, so shortly after experiencing it, this feeling of total trust and "letting go" of worry about who was touching me and why, the massage was over. But there's a glimmer of... something? on the horizon. I've scheduled another, longer massage with the same outfit on Monday. We'll see how that goes. I feel like my strategy of treating touch shyness as a phobia and desensitizing it just like you would any phobia, is paying off...

Well I had an appointment tentatively scheduled for a legit massage tonight, but then they wanted to set me up with a male practitioner. Even though I'm looking for a LEGIT massage, not a "happy ending," this was beyond what my comfort level could handle and I canceled the appointment! Oy.

I ended up writing a long response, and deleting it. Suffice it to say that counseling is NOT for me. I know counseling works for some people, and for them -- more power to them. For me (and yes, I've done it, when I was younger -- years, and years, and endless, grinding years of it) it was just talk, talk, talk and no actual progress. All my progress happened when I WASN'T in counseling, and I felt more positive about myself to boot. So, I'll stick with what works for me.

I don't really think talking to a counselor would help me very much, because I don't believe that this is a problem that is amenable to rationality. I agree about the causes -- a body-shy mother who never really gave physical affection, coupled with a great deal of body shame my entire life to reinforce that. But knowing the genesis of a problem doesn't make it go away; in fact, in some ways, I feel like trying to get counseling on the topic would just reinforce the idea that this somehow makes me "broken" or defective. I'm not broken or defective any more than someone who is afraid of heights or dogs is broken or defective; I don't need years of intensive therapy. What I need are effective strategies for overcoming what is, effectively, a phobia. And I really believe that some of the strategies that are effective for other phobias -- namely desensitization -- will help. One thing that will really help me is to dissociate touch from sexuality; by understanding that not all touch has to "go somewhere" that will let me understand that giving and receiving hugs, pats, and other gentle touch doesn't necessarily have to spin my monkey mind into thoughts of whether or not we're going to "get busy." That sort of thinking is really destructive to being genuinely present when interacting with someone. I do appreciate the advice, however, even when I somewhat disagree And allmyjoy: I'd love volunteers. Sadly, however, I can't find any who live less than one million miles away...

Still too soon. I tried just changing my pants (slightly looser) and underwear (snugger and 'smoother') yesterday and it... SEEMS a little less today. But I'm guessing that if I've sort of "rubbed myself raw" over a period of weeks or months, it will take more than a day to fix things. I'll do the same clothing changes today, and if things seem to be on the mend, I'll make a habit of it. If not, I may try some of the other suggestions!

It would definitely be easier if I didn't enjoy touch, but I really do. I'm just quite averse to it. I'm curious if others have had the same experiences, and what -- if anything -- they've done to get over it. I'm hoping that maybe some kind of desensitization might work; regular massage, perhaps? There is a connection to body shame, but not so much -- I'm just not really ashamed of my body anymore. LadyIvy: this has been my entire life, unfortunately. Before I lost the weight it was even worse, because it was wrapped up with a great deal of body shame. Now I'm borderline PROUD of my body (as you may have noticed in my initial post! I've been working hard to look good) despite my flaws. But I'm still sort of unconsciously averse to touch. And I hate it! I really think that you limit your ability for warm, connected human relationships if you can't gracefully give and receive loving touch. I'll see if I can find a masseuse who is not of the "happy ending" variety in my area; I really think I might benefit from some "professional help" in this one particular area of my life.

To be honest, I'd love to have a friend like that; and it would be best if it were non-sexual. Hard to explain why, but part of the problem for me is that touch and sex are really tangled up in my head. If someone touches me -- even just a pat on the back from another guy I **know** is hetero -- my mind immediately starts going into sex mode (what do they want from me? what do I want from them? is this where I want to be?)... and that keeps me from being "in the moment." Ultimately, I know that's about trust, but it's super distracting; that's why I think that having a flirty, touchy friend that I wasn't sleeping with would be WONDERFUL -- it would help me desensitize. Unfortunately, they don't seem to exist...

I actually looked into pilates, and it wasn't for me. But I've been trying to get more involved with its very distant cousin -- yoga -- for some time. There's a lot of work in yoga with the core and the legs. There's just not much you can do about the "spare tire" since core work tends to shrink you down, making loose skin *worse*. But the other stuff can build up muscles in the legs and butt and back and arms, which will counteract some loose skin.

My suspicion is because that's how I... er... dress. I'm NOT going to go into that level of anatomical detail

Yeah, and it's frustrating -- because you can unconsciously be giving "go away" signals when you are really interested in being near the person and being friendly. It's also complicated by the fact that our society is a little mixed up on the connection between touch and sexuality, so talking about this is difficult -- when you say you want to touch someone, often the response is a nudge and a wink, like you're trying to "get lucky," when all you mean is that you want to be able to react to a hug with warmth and acceptance, not with a stiff posture and pulling away. I had a "dating coach" (don't laugh... too much!) test my "personal bubble" to see where I'm comfortable with people being. First, I have a rather large "bubble," relatively speaking! Second, when he intentionally "intruded" on my space, it was SO BIZARRE; I actually FELT my body tense up, I automatically looked away from him -- without even intending to, even knowing exactly what he was doing! It was like a hiccup, so completely out of my control. Normally I wouldn't pay too much attention to this, but I find that it's really a hindrance to having a warm romantic life (even if you aren't actively dating and are monogamous, I can see that touch shyness would be a concern with your partner because as far as I can tell, it doesn't care WHO the person is, it's just an instinctive thing! And even if you don't care about romance at all, it's a hindrance to having close friends, because humans rely upon touch -- small touches on the hand or arm or other "safe" areas -- to stay connected and emotionally close. And I LOVE touch. I crave it! I'm not anti-touch! But I have this weird part, deep down in me, that tenses or shrinks away from it; I want that part out of me! I'm glad to find someone else who deals with the same thing, even though it's a tough thing to deal with.

Thanks for the advice. Part of the reason I saw the doctor (and got the full STD screen) was that I realized that this has been going on for a LONG time, which worried me. Since the discomfort is mild... somewhere between an itch and a slight chafing/burning feeling... I paid it no heed. Now that I know it's not anything serious, I am definitely open to figuring out the cause, since there's no need to live in pain (in the "junk" or anywhere else). I almost wonder if there haven't been some dietary causes, too; my nutrient levels are all good (according to the massive bevy of blood screens my doc just did), but maybe I have a mild food allergy or something. Or, it could all just be topical -- ill-fitting clothing, or something. I shower and wear clean clothes every day, and I haven't changed my bathing products or laundry detergent for a long, long time, so I doubt it's a sensitivity or allergy to that.

So, I wasn't really sure where else to put this. I've lost the weight (well, most of it, anyway). My body is the best looking it has been in... well, ever. Aside from a couple of minor areas (which, of course, my "monkey mind" magnifies and exaggerates, but which I know are ultimately really trivial), I know that I look good, especially considering that I'm 41; I look SO much better than most guys my age... I'm fit, trim, and muscular just when most guys are really starting to balloon up and let go of their appearance. Additionally, I know that -- as unfair as it is -- men tend to get a lot more slack for having a couple of laugh lines and some grey in their hair than women do (like I said, it's not fair, but it's just the way our biology works -- reproductive fitness is a huge part of physical attraction, plus it's a social thing). I am... romantically available (long, complicated story, but that's the short version). In every way, when it comes to interaction with interesting and attractive women (and, I suppose, men, if I swung that way), everything's coming up aces. Except for one thing... I'm insanely touch-shy! I was hoping that this would go away when I lost the weight -- that it would be the result of not "liking" my body -- but it has not. In some ways, it's gotten worse because now people actually WANT to touch me; yet I still pull away or flinch away when folks reach for me or enter my personal space. I'm not, in almost every other way, poorly-adjusted. I'm generally happy, generally upbeat, I don't drink or drug myself into oblivion every night. I have a good job, a future, hopes, dreams, and goals. Basically speaking, from a mental health perspective, I'm fine -- or at least as "fine" as anybody ever is. But I have this deeply ingrained, almost unconscious reaction to touch -- I crave it, I love it, I literally fantasize about touch and cuddling (sad? or sweet? you decide...) -- but I also pull away from it. I'm not completely isolated; I'm not a virgin, and I do give hugs and shake hands and so forth. I do not simply run for the hills when someone enters my personal space. But, it's challenging, and my first instinctive reaction is to pull away or stiffen up like a board. Neither of these are very conducive to romantic relationships (or even, for that matter, just lighthearted, easy, playful relationships, which include friendly touches on the arm and shoulder -- for guy friends -- or hugs and non-sexual "pets" for female friends... giving OR receiving). And I want this kind of contact! I've gotten to the point in my life where I could care less about casual sex; my touch shyness isn't exclusively about THAT kind of touch. It's more about wanting to "be easy" in my mind and body with the sort of casual, gentle touch that most people take for granted. In short, my touch shyness is REALLY holding me back from having the kind of warm, connected relationships I crave. Has anyone else had this problem? I find that when I research it on the net, most of the discussions seem to focus around issues of past abuse (I have no past abuse) or maternal coldness (much more likely; my mother, for all that I love her, is also and always has been VERY touch shy; that's probably where I picked it up -- I don't seek to blame, simply to understand the origins). However, knowing this really doesn't help me; like I said, I don't want to focus on "mommy issues" and I really do think that in general I'm mentally healthy. But this touch shyness is really causing me grief!

*laugh* Seriously? I didn't even use any naughty words, just hinted at crazy-good-times! I thought you were made of sterner stuff

LOL... really knowledgeable folks on here, especially the women! I won't say I haven't had any... um, rougher activities, but -- as much as I'd like to brag -- not enough to cause this degree of chafing. No, sadly, the cause this time was cotton and denim, not vodka and wild nights out

Gonna definitely have to check out this monkey butt powder. It's safe for the, um junkal area?

So, since this is TMI... I recommend you stop reading if reading about, erm, anatomical details makes you uncomfortable. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . You have been warned So, this question is for the guys, but ladies -- maybe there's a parallel? I've been having some... ahem. SORENESS lately. On a very, ahem, private part of my body. OK, we're all grown ups here -- on my penis. Specifically, it's external, on the underside. As a sexually active male, the first time I realized this was going on, I immediately freaked out and rushed to the doc. for a full STD screen. I play safe, but... you can't be too careful, right? Well, the doc tested me for everything we could think of, from simple to scary, easily dealt-with to chronic, viral and bacterial. I had blood drawn, I got to have my doctor man-handle my junk (oh, joy), I peed in a cup. The good news is: I'm clean. The bad news is: I still have no idea what's up. So what's going on? Why's Mr. Happy sore all the time? The doc couldn't tell me, but he told me not to worry about illness or disease, because he couldn't find anything with about a dozen different tests. I was thinking about it yesterday and I realized something: I'm skinnier. I mean, a lot skinnier. Two years ago, I was wearing giant, baggy, 48 inch waist jeans, now I'm finding that my 36 inch waist jeans are "comfy" and I can easily fit into 34 inch waist jeans when I feel like being all 'sexy'. The soreness could just be -- drum roll, please -- chafing! I realized that it hurts in EXACTLY the place where Mr. Happy would be rubbing against my boxers when I'm out walking in my new, snug jeans! Couple that with the fact that I tend to wear fairly loose-fitting boxers (and they're made of cotton, which is warm and snuggly, but can turn into sandpaper with enough movement!) and you may well have a recipe for OUCH. Today I'm wearing 36 inch jeans instead of 34 inch, and I'm wearing my snug-fitting lycra boxer/briefs instead of the cotton boxers -- they fit much snugger, and they have a very smooth, almost silky texture. That, plus the looser jeans, and I bet you I'll discover that all of my scary "soreness" goes away within a few days. Such are the joys of being a man, and a hypochondriac, and losing lots of weight. Gents, be warned!

OK, let me reiterate: this study isn't about eating capsaicin. It's about a surgery that uses capsaicin to partially or completely deaden the vagus nerve. The headline is a little misleading, true, but I think folks are missing the point -- it may be possible to gain significant weight-loss benefits just from altering the vagus nerve.

Well if you read the study, it IS a surgery, not just "eating hot sauce." It's just a somewhat less-invasive surgery.

Yup, telogen effluvium is usually from 2-12-ish weeks post-op. After that it's more likely due to dietary changes.