ouroborous

Absolutely a wonderful response! Lucky man!

Actually that's a really good point! When she said "nice abs," I actually was tongue-tied for a minute because my first instinct was to minimize it, or point out the remaining little jelly roll, or something. But I'm realizing that not accepting a compliment isn't just unhealthy for me, it's rude; it's like throwing a kind thought back in someone's face. So, after a moment's discomfort, I just smiled, said "thank you," and kissed her again.

Yeah, it's funny. My sister is gay, and although I've never given a rip (what the heck do I care who she sleeps with or loves? as long as she's happy...) I've never really taken her stories of prejudice very seriously. Then when I realized I was polyamorous, it was hardwired into me -- so, nothing I could do about it, aside from "pretend" to be monogamous like "everyone else" (and hint: you'd be very surprised how many people practice some flavor of non-monogamy ) -- just like hetero/homo/bi. And I realized that society does NOT appreciate people with multiple lovers (yikes, understatement.) And that's when I started using terms like being "closeted" about being poly (I am, around my "real life" friends, mostly for my girlfriend's sake, she has relatives that simply would NOT accept us) and "coming out" about it (which I SO want to do, but need to respect her wishes). This forum is sort of safe because AFAIK, nobody here knows me in real life

It cracked us up, too. COMPLETELY ruining the "sexy time" vibe, but leaving us with a warm, companionable laugh together Just as good, if not better!

You'd actually be surprised... I've gotten a couple of VERY negative, judgmental comments and messages about my lifestyle. I suppose the "proper" thing to do would be just to shut up about it, but it's sort of hard to do that when I talk about having a girlfriend AND going out on dates with new folk all in the same post. Then people assume I'm just cheating But even so, thank you for the kind words

So, I was on a first date yesterday. It was a lot of fun, we met for coffee, talked for a couple of hours, and then parted ways. When the evening wound down, I walked her to her motorcycle which was parked out in front of a skeezy dog park in downtown Seattle. Lots of drunks and sketchy folks hanging out. When we got to her bike, after a little more small talk, we had a nice good night kiss. A VERY nice good night kiss. In fact, it turned into a bit of a make out session in full public view (prompting, I **** you not, a round of applause from the bums drinking in the park!). As we were drawing apart, ready to go our separate ways, she had her hands on my waist, and she commented "wow, nice abs!" I have never had ANYONE in my ENTIRE LIFE say "nice abs" to me before. THANK YOU, SLEEVE! (edit: realized I was being overly defensive about my life choices... without need. Changed the tone!)

Thanks! Everyone's journey is different, everyone has different experiences. But I would be willing to be that anyone who loses lots of weight, gets much healthier, and starts feeling good about their physical selves is just going to EXUDE happiness compared to before those changes! I bet you'll feel lots of the same things. It. is. AWESOME.

Yes, it is My motto: "if there's something about your life that you don't like and you can't change, let it go. If there's something about your life that you don't like and you CAN change, then CHANGE IT!"

You are absolutely correct, I do have a history of touch shyness, and I'm still quite shy about people touching me around my few remaining "trouble areas" (mostly the last bit of skin/fat around my midsection). I'm planning on getting a lower body lift this fall to take care of that (once I've burned the last few pounds of fat off my body), so that should be resolved pretty quickly. The touch shyness resolved very quickly once I realized that I have a pretty rockin' body these days. I feel like a vain, vain ass for saying that, but, well, it's true. And knowing that makes me far less scared to be touched (and I don't just mean sexual touch, I mean all the wonderful varieties -- from kissing and making out to just cuddling and snuggling and even, oddly, hand-holding). I love touch! I always did; it's just that I used to be too shy to experience it.

Thank you. Yes, I do feel like I'm "coming back to life" (see the Pink Floyd song of the same name ) And, it is wonderful.

(No pictures this time. I HATE photos; I'm so damned pale and washed out that I always look corpse-like and OLD in my photos, whereas in real life I'm looking pretty damned HOT! ) So I was sleeved in May 2010. It's about two and a quarter years out. I started at 338 lbs. At that weight, I was miserable. I was sick all the time, everything hurt all the time. No clothes fit properly, unless I just bought everything in tent-like proportions. I had multiple chins, moobs (man-boobs), rolls and rolls of fat around my waist, a fat ass, fat legs, everything. I felt awful. I couldn't walk very far without becoming winded and my feet hurting. I couldn't stand upright for very long without my lower back aching, and my thighs would chafe like I was being scourged by the Furies. And my self-esteem was just awful. I felt slovenly, ugly, unsexy, unsexual, unmasculine, frumpy, and ashamed all the time. I felt -- fairly realistically -- that no woman would look twice at me, let alone want to take me as a lover. It was okay, though, because I was in a monogamous relationship, so I didn't need to "date." How disrespectful that is to my girlfriend, I can't put into words. But that's a separate issue. That's between us. Fast forward, past VSG surgery, past two years of steady weight loss, careful eating, ups and downs, plateaus and sharp drops, past fitfully starting and restarting my fitness program, to today. Now, I work out at the gym almost every day. I like it. I look forward to it. It's how I start my day! It's still challenging, I'm still exhausted, but I look forward to it. I usually lift weights, but some days, like today, are all about stabilizers and athletic performance -- today was focused on speed and agility, on building muscle memory. My trainer agreed with me that I'm still pretty uncoordinated, but also was impressed at how fast I improved; he claimed that maybe, under years of sloth and a sedentary lifestyle, just maybe I was a natural athlete who never developed his abilities! I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I think that I have a lot of potential, and better late than never -- let's leave it at that. I'm getting ripped. With my shirt off, my chest and shoulders and arms ripple with muscle; they have a lot of that classic bodybuilder look (without that nasty veiny zero body fat/covered in baby oil thing). I realized today, and pointed out to my girlfriend -- that I'm actually developing a six pack. Me! Mr. Fat-ass! Mr. Lazy! A six pack! I'm down to just a hair over 200 lbs. That means I've lost over 130 pounds, and (more importantly) am maintaining it (and, in fact, am still losing, slowly). At the same time, I'm steadily building muscle mass (contrary to myth, muscle building is slow, but all my measurements show a steady gain). My stamina and energy are the best they've ever been. EVER. Even when I was a kid, and I'm 42 now! My latest testosterone measurement was 611 ng/dL, which is pretty phenomenal. Reference range is 300-800, so this puts me on the high end, about on par with a kid in his 20's; this is just stunning for a man in his 40's, and bodes very well for my continued sexual and physical well being into middle age and old age. It will protect me from injuries, keep me strong and fit, and even boost my mood and libido going forward. My self-esteem is way up. My girlfriend and I opened our relationship up to other partners (if you want to discuss open relationships/polyamory, I'm available to talk, but please don't post here, that's not the point ), which means I'm dating again. And I'm having FUN! I'm finding that women that I used to consider "out of my league" are now tongue-tied around me. I messaged a woman on my poly-friendly dating site; I thought she was super sexy and probably way too pretty for me, and she responded that she hadn't contacted me because she thought I was out of her league. I mean, holy crap, Batman! Who'da thunk it! But it's not just vanity. I'm finally, finally, finally coming to accept that I'm a handsome, interesting, attractive, sexy, sexual, masculine man. Along with being wicked smart, with an IQ approaching 200, I'm becoming something of a jock. I'm hiking, bicycling, running, lifting weights, and soon I'm going to start swimming laps at the local pool. I go out to concerts and clubs, I date, kiss, make love, have fun. I'm fit, in shape, and healthy as an ox. Yes, I'm middle aged, so my only regret was that I couldn't have found this when I was 20. But you know what? I'll take it. I'll take it! This is the life that I think many people wish they could lead. And in a lot of ways, I owe it all to the sleeve!

Yeah, after that, even though I don't smoke, I feel like I do! Hopefully she's not expecting that EVERY time is going to be like that, because eventually a man needs sleep...

Thanks!

This was my intent... You're welcome, and yeah... Sex as a fit guy is... um... amazzzzing!

Bloody pictures need rotation...grr. Thanks for the kind words. I'm feeling good about myself! Still have work to do, and I'm self-conscious about being so pale (fake tan for the win?), but I'm feeling pretty good about myself!

So you can see that I'm starting to show some real definition. Gonna get the tummy tuck SOON, but the gym is my friend!

Ummm... If "get fit, be creative, make sure you're doing it as much as possible, and have fun" requires a seminar, I weep for the state of masculinity! Normally I'd make a flity remark about private lessons available for select women (so you can pass the knowledge on to the men in your life, of course -- I only aim to serve others! ) but... This is a PG forum and I'm egotistical-sounding enough, already!

I know, right? I waver between being pissed off that I didn't have this in my twenties, and being so utterly thrilled that I have it now and excited that I get to have at least a FEW good years before I'm too much of an "old man" to enjoy it any more

*laugh* now I'm feeling a LITTLE self-conscious, but... Thank you

NICE! Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised, too I'm not sure if the inch per thirty rule holds forever, but... yeah. It's nice!

you're in for some fun times!