kimmason

Oh my gosh am I ever touched that you guys wrote to me with your help and suggestions cuz I really feel like I failed and that I am falling apart. I am sooo stuffed right now, I feel sick, as I stuffed in popcorn, hamburger, cheesies and chocolate....what the hell is wrong with me? I eat past the hungry stage to the numb, sick to my stomach stage. I even tried to make myself throw up, that is how awful I feel right now. Can I get a fill before hand? Does anyone know?? I mean I am supposed to be starting my second week of full fluids and here I am eating crap and lots of it. What is PB , by the way? i have no clue. Gawd I feel sick, right now....I have to stop this. I started to get hungry a couple days ago, my mom was visiting, control or what, she can't stop, even though she says she doesn't want to be critical but....... for the umpteeenth time, then of course Peter and I are at it. So my triggers ???maybe.. plus I took my mom to my shrink thursday, the doc says she has never seen me so quiet. so I am here feeling ill, tinking i threw 16,000 down the toilet, BUT I come on here and feel teary when I read you guys and even thoguh I feel like I give up on me...you haven't given up on me...and give me hope and support. I am humbled. THANKYOU!!!!

Hi Folks Well I don't feel comfortable tellign anyone this, butthis is the only place I can come for help. I was banded on Aug 10th and did okay,,,bt I am hungry. I am on the second week of the full fluid diet post op and just "lost it" and ate. I mean i ate two hamburger patties with cheese, then went to a movie where i ate popcorn and chocolate. I don't know why I did it. I was starving, sick of eating or rather drinking and i lost control, story of my life i guess. I do not have the coverage for the surgery and it will take me ages to pay it off and I feel addicted to food I guess and if I can't do it now, then I guess i have messed up with this too. I don't know what to do, and if that now means my band is messed up and stretched or whatever can happen. I only felt liek I had something stuck kind for a sec when I ate the hamburger patty but then I ate it and chewed it up better. how the heck am I going to get through this when i am have a fill and crave everything in sight? I am sorry to moan and I know I am my worst enemy but I read of the people here who never mess up and are sooooo determined ,and I am not a kid anymore and I am almost 300 lbs. I started out at 320. So I dunno, I am afraid that i will fail at this since I have done so so early in the game. K

well yes and if Yoda says so, then I must be doing something wrong...lol...( I watched all the Star wars too) hey argon that new ticker is beautiful.

Kims Kinkiness?? lol, you know me well! I am happy to read others stuff and can add my two cents whenever. Mostly though, it is soo nice to have a support system here and then see how everyone else is doing.

Wow, I've never been hit by a fish before...thats a new one for tough love for sure! I guess i am frustrated because I am eating /drinking rather approx 8oo or so calories a day, so I don't understand why nothing much. And with a fill and eating something, I can't see how I will be eating so little/less than what I am drinking now that is...although heh heh, I haven't had a BM for days, and maybe I am just full of S**T! BUt most importantly WEIGH to go Mandi!!!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Waaaaaay to go Mandi!!!Ye haw!!!!! I am down though and not happy. I have stuck with fluids, ( 'cept one day, but not much) and I musr be consuming maybe 800 or less calories a day and I have GAINED>.........How does that work? I was 297 , now 300, this is sooo frustrating...... I have gained and I am drinking just fluids, I have soup....tomato, yogurt or fat free pudding and . I don't frigging get it. I mean if I am gaining so early in the race....then what will happen later when I am allowed to eat????

gawd mandi..if you know.,TELL US. I can't wait!!!

Hi It won't cause damage to my band, as Italked today to kathy. No this time is not so much for the band but healing of tummy and not agreat deal. actually up until a bit ago, when I spoke to bandsters , many were allowed to eat normally right up to midnight of their surgery. anyway I stumbled, it happens i am human and that's how I got here, so I am dusting myself off and starting again.

You will be great angel bear, when is your surgery? Hey cloe, I feel like my mom is on this post ( YOU) and comes here to bust my chops....lol

You will be great angel bear, when is your surgery? Hey cloe, I feel like my mom is on this post ( YOU) lo and comes here to bust my chops....lol

neenagh, I'm not bad..I'm just drawn that way!!!!

well cloe I did way worse than you. I am on the first week almost finished of the post op full fluids. well lats night I found my easter eggs the little cadbury ones that i so love and i didn't realize that i had some in my desk, well I ate them all........ waiting to be sick but nope....beginning to wonder if I need to be on full fluids or just have my mouth wired shut???

yes jude, so glad today went off fine without a hitch. To the beginning of many great days for you! cheers! kim

woooooo, I don't think so Lana,but your doc Igues has their rules. I know argon ate the same day as a fill and many do, so Ihtink not here what your clinic does. The others here will knwo more, as I am waiting my first fill in sept. Oh anyone going to TBLC on the 22nd I believe it is about the diets pre and post op. thanks Kim

woooooo, I don't think so Lana,but your doc Igues has their rules. I know argon ate the same day as a fill and many do, so Ihtink not here what your clinic does. The others here will knwo more, as I am waiting my first fill in sept. Oh anyone going to TBLC on the 22nd I believe it is about the diets pre and post op. thanks Kim

lol, Nope I am not baaaaad, ( lol, but when I am, I'm GOOD!) some folks can't afford or don't like optifast so then they say cottage cheese and yogurt is fine.I ate loads of vanilla yogurt my fav and lost weight and had the cottage cheese for protein.

ya know I think you should say then f it to the optifast...I mean your liver won't be different with optifast or the cottage cheese/yogurt thing and it worked for me even when I cheated at the last three days....so have yogurt and cottage cheese, you can eat as much as you want..... and then wil find you aren't as hungry. no head rushes/fainting feelings etc.

neenagh. you just might lose it all by yourself, the rate you're going! and no, I couldn't get in saturday either.

thanks yoda..but honestly I didn't do it. computer brainiac Mandi did it for me.

hey MANDI it looks BEAUTIFUL , thank you sooo very much........ just need to change the numbers and I will be esctatic!!!!!

well this is testing my new ticker, thanks to mandi!!!!

guess i messed up the ticker thing too, argh

mandiTickerFactory.com/ezt/d/3;10101;96;0;1/c/297/t/160/s/320/k/a5e0/weight.png i think i did it ,yay thanks!!!!!! kim

dear Indian light. I was just banded on Aug 10th but I canrelate to you RIGHT now. Idon't think I am the first one to lose weight and because of that work and what went into it, we reward ourselves, thinking it'll be one day, one night etc..and it just goes on and flips the switch. I even cheated on my preop. I was too do cottage cheese/yogurt for 15 days and they gave me one day off cuz of a bbq I was having for my sone and mother and for that day and the day after and the day after I pigged out, right up to the night before my surgery when at midnight i was supposed to stop eating...so just before then, I made a LOAD of nachos with cheese, salsa, olives and sour cream....yup I did that knowing fullwell that maybe in the morning I had screwed up my liver and may need open surgery...thats how we are , how addicted. Oddly enough I ama health care worker too..lol and Icould save your life but perhaps not my own. The precursers to ANY addiction are known as H.A.L.T. feeling HELPLESS, ANGRY, LONELY and then TIRED.....boy I had/have them all, even now. I amnow just under 300 lbs which is a big jump for me and I just want to eat.... So I can see how this has to be life long and we will need our retrictions.(fills) I have not had one yet, I take it, you haven't either. I am waiting for this Fluid, pureed thing to be over so I can eat popcorn.......and after 16,000 dollars if that isn't addictive behaviour I don't know what is. I as are the others on this line are in your corner and know what it is like. The only way you can stop is by actually pushing yourself initailly and I hate it but it only works when you do it as the first few days feel awful, like detox, but then it gets better. I hope you pull through, and will wait to read more posts from you. ANd follow tired old mans response, it was terrific!!! take care. Kim pre op diet 320 surgery date aug 10th, 310, today 297

good post. keep it coming, i am interested inresponses too, since I am a newbie.