meikobobo

Hi Humming Bird

No I told it was gall bladder he even visited me in hospital he just didnt ask anyone there anything and as I was in overnight only he didnt question my story...so there you go...men....is it any wonder they dont notice weight Loss!

Men, gotta love em .........

For the most part I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I have been with him for over 23 years and married 18 years. He is generally good to me, supported my choice to get banded, we don't fight, and I am still very much in love with him. In general, I think we are living as close to "happily ever after" as we can get.

BUT .............. I have lost 44 pounds and he has not said a word or made any indication that he sees any difference. He has not asked how much I've lost...... nothing

I'm not really pissed about it, though it does bother me a little. Maybe he doesn't know what to say? Who knows ......

I am going to wait it out and see just how many pounds it takes before he says something.

My husband ( we have been married for 33 yrs and like your hubby a real sweetie in many ways )did a similiar thing when I lost a lot of weight with Reductil. He never said a word in fact when a friend of his commented he said "Has she? I dont know" When I asked him about it he said that he knew that it was a sensitive subject and if he commented he didnt know how I would take it especially then if I gained so he felt it was best to say nothing. I actually havent told him about the weight loss surgery this time and uou know he has said nothing...not about the liquid meals, the pbs nothing. Go figure

I haven't told anyone about my surgery. And it is set for January 15th. Don't get me wrong- I am SUPER excited! But I am terrified of what my friends and family would say.... " You don't need surgery.", "You are beautiful as you are." "You could do this on your own."

I decided to get surgery in Mexico because I would not be approved by my insurance company here. I am about 80lbs overweight and have been overweight my whole life. And it has been a secret struggle. I know my friends and family- they will say, "you can do this on your own!" and be super supportive. But they don't know the struggle I have felt since age 13.

So what do I do?? I have chose not to tell anyone.

Is that crazy?? I don't question my decision at all! But I think others would. So what do you think???

To tell or not to tell.... that is the question.....

Totally understand where you are coming from... I have told no one...the only ones who know are my GP who referred me

and the specialist. Not my family... that includes husband and kids... or friends. My rationale for this is that I have always been a very private person. I have battled with weight since I was 8 and have failed every single time. I have married a man who has never had a weight problem and views it as being a simple problem that just needs will power which clearly I do not have. He gave up smoking in a day as he puts it I just said no more. He has been a watcher on every single weight loss program that I have been on and cant understand why I cant stick to it. It is the only thing that he is blinkered about. He is a lovely man in every other respect and if I do eventually lose the weight I will tell him then. I just dont want to fail in his eyes yet again.I guess I feel superstitious that if I do it will fail like all the other times. While the kids are busy with their lives and dont really notice what Mum is doing. And funny enough no one has said anything. Everyone is too busy looking at their own lives to be to concerned with what I do with mine. I went in for surgery in March and told hubby it was for a hernia and he has never questioned it. He just thought I had to have smaller meals because of the op. My only concern is if I have an accident and am taken to emergency and they dont contact my GP - im in trouble.

I don't think it was really overeating, I think it was what I ate.

I had a fill of 2 cc (total of 4 now) last Thursday but I am still starving. I have been able to eat whatever I want but have tried to watch. I had some salsa and tostitos last night without a problem

Tonight I had fish with orange ginger marinade (Aldi's $.98 for a single serving) and some canned peas (my favorite veggetable). The pea skins were kind of crunchy, not soft like the kind I usually buy.

I had almost finished the fish and took a forkful of the peas. On the 2nd forkful the pain began. I was able to drink some Water without a problem so I am not sure if it was stuck or what.

I started to sweat. Took a walk which usually helps if I swallow something I haven't chewed right and it seemed to get worse. Tried to lie down and it got even worse.

Chewed 2 papaya enzyme tabs and began burping. After about 1 hour I felt better but I was exhausted. I fell asleep for almost 2 hours and now feel better.

I don't want to ever feel that pain again, the gas pain was bad but this was 100% worse.

You poor thing... glad you feel better. I know that when I overate recently with of all things Soup ( still getting used to portion control) it was awful and I did all the usual things ( except the papaya tablets...must seek them out) and promised myself I would never do it again. I just thought if I overate it would come up again ....but no ....and this was far worse than a pb isnt it?

Is the pre-op diet mainly to shrink your fatty liver or did the surgeon require you loose a certain amount of weight prior to surgery? or both?

If it's to loose weight - how much did your doctor require?

Thanks

Can only tell you what my doctor said and that was the pre op diet was for the fatty liver problem. He didnt want to have to reschedual the op because he opened people up and found out that he wasnt able to go ahead because of the liver. He did warn me that in some cases even people who had followed the liquid diet scruplously still had to be rescedualed because of liver problems. Friend of mine who went to another doctor was told that she had to lose 20 kilos before he would consider operating as it was just too dangerous at the weight she was at. This was very frustrating for her because as she said ....if she could lose 20 kilos she wouldnt need a band.

First off, let me tell you I TOTALLY ADORE your screen name! That is so cute!

I'm sorry that your having these problems. . . you know guys the more I read about what really goes on with this band thing the more I am worried about getting it done. . . I'm not talking myself out of it yet, still going to the seminar and inital doctors visit, only now I'm getting a bit more leary about it. . is this normal? Did anyone else read and get involved with this site BEFORE they got their band and feel this way? What did you do????? HELP :bored:

It took me 2 years to get approval for the band because of complicating medical conditions so I was just so focused on getting it I dont think I really considered the negatives. I think I would have been better informed if I had been on this site. I think that they either glossed over the complications that occur or maybe I just couldnt hear them. In any case I think you will be in a much better position to know whether the band is for you or not. At least ahving this site you know that its harder than a lot of people make out. But you never know you may be one of the lucky ones (who by the way I believe are in the majority) and sail through it but at least if things pop up that are concerning you have a forum with which to check things out. Good Luck

Welcome to site. I only discovered it after banding wish I had known about it before as I think I would have asked better questions and been a lot more informed. I felt the info I received glossed over some of the finer details of living with the band. Also I think they made it sound a bit too easy which it defintely is not....you have to work with it and constantly adjust. I had my surgery in March at the age of 51 and felt I sailed through the surgery. I felt I could have gone home after leaving recovery and didnt feel I needed to stay overnight for medical reasons ( although it was good to stay and be looked after and pampered a bit which doesnt happen at home) So I dont think the age thing is too much of an issue as long as you are reasonably healthy which you may not be at any age age...so as long as your health is fairly Ok you should be right.

Cheers

M

wise words Jachut

I can understand your frustration believe me the band is no picnic.....however I was talking to a lady who had the sleeve and while they dont have the same problems we do they have others ( as previously mentioned) plus she said the fact she can eat so little it makes going out almost impossible and like me with the band she still feels hungry but pain and vomiting stop her and while I get the pbs her's sound horrendous. Plus once you get used to it and the old chew chew thing happens you can eat a satisfying meal where she will never be able to do so, even drinking a cup of tea she now has to have it in a expresso cup. We discussed whether we both suffer from head hunger...not sure...probably. But she wishes she never went this way. I was shocked because I was sort of hoping that as I feel no restriction maybe this was the way I could go to but now I think I will keep perservering. And you know maybe it was just pickles that you cant have. I find there are all sorts of strange things that seem to slide down with little or no chewing ( ie for me popcorn) yet steak no matter how much I chew until I think its paste still seems to cause trouble. Go figure. The other thing too I found was the while I was getting used to the band i really couldnt eat and talk with people. I'd subconciously not chew enough engrossed in talking and a food that i normally tolerate would cause problems. Until I got the chewing thing ( I have always been a gulper) a little under control i couldnt trust myself with others. Hope this helps. and all the best. You know what I wish is that the media and everything would stop making this sound so easy it really isnt and I think if you arent one of the lucky ones who's appetittes immediately disappear it is really hard hard work being hungry esp when I thought this was going to end that. Best of Luck and my hope is after intial probs you become one of the lucky ones...the stats are in your favour

Cheers

M:thumbup:

Dear N

Firstly my condolences on the passing of your sister.

I have been Big all my life having small windows of normality only with the use of Drugs....first was an amphetimine based one whenI was 16. That lasted 2 years when the drug effects wore off and then back up over 100 kgs and then recently with Reductil starting in 2002 and unfortunately its effects started to wear off in 2006. I had tried every diet program known to mankind, WW, JC, you name it I tried it and funny thing was I couldnt stay on the diet for more than 3 days to a week at most ever! My appetitie is HUGE. Unfortunately like you weight related ill health runs in the family - everyone on my Dad's side die before 55 and unfortunately I really take after them. My sister who is not even overweight had her first stroke at 45 so I knew I had to do something as I was coming up to 50 and the Reductil had stopped working so my weight was just going up and up. So banding was the only option...I was too scared for anything more intrusive. Luckily the surgeon said that I dint need to get to my peak before I could have it seeing how patently I couldnt control my weight. I was banded in March 09 thinking it would be the answer to all my problems. Unfortunately it was not I am still hungry all the time despite being filled to the max. I am still grateful to it because it still provides a barrier to overeating - I dont know Im full till I vomit and I know that if I keep eating I will continue to vomit so I stop. But no massive weightloss in total I have lost about 20 lbs but I think of it at least it is not 20 gained. and so I figure if this is the worse thing about it ( and believe Ive read the horror stories some poor people have had to endure) I can live with it and just keep trying to work on the hunger. At least I wont hopefully (fingers crossed) gain up to my old level Cheers and best of luck I ve read some great stories of people getting great restriction and the pounds just drop off and I hope that is you

I agree you need to talk with the doctor however one thing that helped me was to take some sips of very warm tea or Water and then take the tablet with more warm water/tea. Hope it helps

M

Hi S

Ive bought a number of different ones but the one that works best for me is the ones that are like a bathing suit with the opening at the gusset. The other ones like the skirts or little dresses always ride up on me and cut me either at the waist or thighs. Excuritatingly painful. It has also helped on days when my port has been acting up it keeps it in nice and tight.

Goodluck

Awww Tks Ms K ....but congrats to you and your awesome weight lost. Well Done

:wink2:

Didnt see the program but do think people need to know not just the scary parts that are part of any surgery but also that it is not a miracle cure. You have to work dammned hard to still get weight loss. I am filled to the brim but still feel hungry all the time. Only time I know I have restriction is when I vomit then I think "I must be full" but still am hungry!!!!!! I try to make sure that I have enough Protein but like the story I do have trouble with a lot of fruit and vegetables. I have to cook them till they are mush. Have no problem with junk food- biscuits and cakes. And have to be strong and not eat them even though they go down a treat. Just goes to show everyone experiences different things....and it is not the easy way out by any means

Its a hard one Froggi. I have heard of celebs being banded when they are considered underweight and the doctors seem to think thats it Ok because it is for work reasons. I was well under 200 when banded but that was only because I had lost my weight with Reductil (7 years)and it was losing its effectiveness and I knew I would be right back to my top weight and as I have considerable health problems at my top weight the doctors were obliging enough to do and not wait for me to gain the weight back before they operated. I havent lost much weight on the band but I havent gained either. It is much harder work than the Reductil was when it was working but I dont really have many choices left if I want to stay healthy. So at the moment I am working hard with it. Despite max fills I still feel hungry and the only restriction comes when I feel like I will vomit so I know I must be at peak and then I stop eatingeven though still hungry

Nice to meet you meikobobo. Hope your 6 months has been a smooth ride. My 1st 12mths was incredible. Some weeks I lost 5kgs. In just over 12mths, I'd more than halved my size from 124kgs to 58kgs. I was too skinny then tho, & had to get the band let out a little. I sat at 62kgs for a long time as was very happy. In the last year it's crept up to 70 (stable for a long time). I'd like to get back to 62. Thinking Lipo atm. My blog has pics and details of my other surgeries you may be interested in. How much have you lost so far?

Hi Grace I finally managed to get to your blog..good pictures You have done very well. My aim is for just under 70kgs. I think I would be fine at 68kgs. and would like to try and maintain for a while. I am the same height as you but older (much older) :w00t: just a question.. did you have private health insurance for the follow up surgeries and how did your partner react to the whole thing.

I lost most of my weight pre-op on Reductil but didnt want to be on it all my life plus it was loosing its effectiveness. I was about 103kg at my peak and got down to 87kgs then with band preop got to 83kgs and now am 77kgs 6mths later I am just trying to cope with this new way of eating and so not really stressing re figures as l ong as it does not go up. I have a terrible family history of strokes and heart attacks(all die by age of 55) so medically it was imperative I do something soon. I told no-one though as I just couldnt cope with anyone watching me and giving me grief while I adapted and that included my husband of 32years... dear sweet thing that he is he has always been skinny and just thinks you should stop eating when you have enough. Unfortunately 4 me there is never enough. I figure once I have this band worked out say in a year thats when I come clean in the mean time I have no pressure from anyone as to what I am eating or how much I have lost. This was something I did just for me (probably the only time I have done this my whole and I am quite enjoying having something that is private and my very own) With kids (I have three) you know how rare that is.:sneaky:

I'm having trouble trying to read your blog. Do I just enter:

lapband-7yrslater.blogspot.com.au

into my Internet Explorer browswer url address line?

Do you think its just an ad for the site maybe?

Hi! Im from Oz as well ... just to say WOW Seven Years! Incredible ...you must have been one of the first I will definately follow up on your blog as I am really interested in hearing long term info. I have been banded for all of 6 months and just wondering how succesful it is long term re people have to get new ones after 10 years ( Id be 61 and dont think I would have either the inclination or money to go through with it all again. Still you sound impressive well done!

I need help. I have been struggling for the past two months. No weightloss, despite doing what I should. I am ready to get a complete unfill and just give up. It is so frustrating to go thru the surgery and not get the results you hope and pray for. I knew mine would be slow, because I have a permanent disability with a spinal fusion and both total knee replacements. I cannot do much exercise to help it along. But, now I am just ready to give up and go back to my old life, where my DH didn't complain about my NOT eating. Please pray for me. I know you all understand what I am going thru and I can speak my true feelings. I am at a crossroads...who knows where I will end up. My surgeon is not a nice man, and of no help to me whatsoever. Fills no sooner than 2 months apart. I have had 3 fills in 8 months. What's a girl to do?

dear glam are you having problems with reflux or pain? Because your stats show you have been losing. (or am I reading it wrong 150 pds is great! as a weight and it does really slow down as you get close to goal. (Depending what goal is) I am 51 and just had a visit for a fill last week and I really debated wether to have it (I ended up not having another) as I am really happy at what I am now even though its 15 kilos from goal as I want to learn to live with this thing and adjust to it as I hope it will be OK for me for at least 10 years. Also at my age I am never going to be a model or the like and my present weight lets me buy nice clothes, I can go anywhere and sit anywhere and not be stared at I think I just look like an average person.. and thats fine with me. I havent done much excercise apart from normal housework, looking after my sick mother, looking after kids husband and walking the dogs. I think we all need time just to chill and not be too hard on ourselves ( I guess thats really hard as we have had years of it from ourselves and others) I think too given your physical problems you really do need to be gentle with yourself.

Pls forgive all of this if I ave unintentionally misread your post I just want to wish you the best.

I had no restriction in the beginning at all and have yet to reach my sweet spot. So fduring the first few fills I could still really chow down. So much so I was scared I wasgoing to bust the band. My doctor said that was quite normal and that many people actual gain weight intially after being banded. That I just had to be patient and do my best to eat healthy at least and once I got close to my sweet spot I would soon not be able to eat the volumes that I was eating. I was glad he told me because I really nthought restriction would happen straight away which it certainly did not.

KitKat I havent told my husband either, but thats because I havent told anyone. I think it is a bit dangerous (I keep a card in my wallet in case of accidents) however I just couldnt cope with others negativity and the "here she goes again" I needed to stay as positive as I could to stay with the "programme".

I told hubby that I had gall bladder and thats why I needed to eat carefully at first. If all goes well I will tell him (not anyone else because I dont think its their business) at the end of the first year (six months into it)

Husband has not said anything at all other than remark that I dont seem to be able to eat as much as i used to prior gall bladder. Any pbs I put down to intolerence to the fat and or food. So far it has worked well. I just want to work this out for myself before I share with aanyone. My weight issues have always been a very sensitive a private thing for me and until I know this will work I dont want to share with ANYONE except those who understand like fellow bandsters or people with serious weight issues likeme... not those one or two kilos overweight.. but those who have been huge all their lives and suffered accordingly

i know that what I am about to say will shock many of you but It was the only way I felt I could handle it. Ihave always been HUGE and as such always dieting sometimes successfully but often not for long and the sense of failure and judging that I got I think was contributing to the problem. So when I decided to do it I told no one - not husband, family, friends children no one. I know this is a risk and I carry a card that my doctor gave me (in case of medical emergency with me at all times. Everyone thinks I went in for gall bladder and as such I now cant have very fatty food and need to watch what I eat. I just couldnt face another failure in particular because of the money involved. I know I would never hear the end of it. Perhaps once I really have the thing under control I will share with hubby but not until then. What surprises me is that everyone buys it! Just goes to show you people dont really think much if it medical but once its "weight related" out come the judgements and quite frankly this is hard enough without that. I think this is why I love the forum it is my only way of sharing the experience and getting lots of info from people who really know what they are talking about

If you get hungry in less than four hours, you may still need a little more fill. If you get hungry in less than four hours, it's certainly not realistic to think that you can ignore it for hours and hours. I was told that if I had to snack, to snack on Protein....an ounce of low fat cheese (Kraft and Sargento put up pre-wrapped 1 oz servings of cheese other than string cheese (which I absolutely refuse to eat because it has no taste!), a boiled egg, some low fat cottage cheese....Heck, I've even eaten 3-4 steamed shrimp left over from dinner the night before. Protein takes longer to digest than anything else you can eat. That means it stays in your stomach longer getting digested and therefore gives you the feeling of satiety for longer than other things you could eat.

:ohmy:

meat....lots of people complain that they have problems with it. The problem is that usually cooking dries it out too much. So, you have to change how you cook it. Here are my suggestions:

1. Steak....cook only to rare or at most medium rare. That way it keeps more of its natural juice. Use meat tenderizer. You may have read a comment from Restless Monkey somewhere on here about papaya enzyme...well, meat tenderizer is usuall made from papaya enzymes. I even sawy Iron Chef Michael Symon (if you watch food Network) cook with papaya enzyme tablets to tenderize a protein. He just put a handful of the tablets in the pot.

2. chicken....stay away from those expensive, tasteless boneless, skinless chicken breasts! They are so dry! Buy the much cheaper bone-in, skin on chicken breasts. Grill, poach, bake, whatever. Just don't eat the skin. The skin and bones will flavor the chicken and help keep it moist. Cook it in chicken stock or broth in a crock pot.

3. Pork....stick with pork tenderloin. Marinate it in lowfat italian dressing and then grill it. Cook only until it is just done. Let it "rest" for a few minutes before you slice it so that it can re-absorb the juices.

4. Fish Fillets....I do this with any fish.....take a piece of foil and place the fish on it. Season with whatever seasonings you like. put a couple of curls of unsalted butter. Seal up the foil, put the package on a pan and bake until the fish is done....the thicker the piece of fish the longer it takes to cook. You can grill your fish and make a topping out of a box of frozen chopped spinach...just boil the spinach, drain it, season with a little salt, a little pepper and lemon juice, zip it through the food processor quickly and spoon over your fish.

And maybe these suggestions will help you think of other things you can do! You can also letme know if you have any other questions I can try to answer!

:smile:Thanks cathy will try all suggestions ....they sound yummy

Ok so in all honesty unless the guy was waving his middle finger at you while he was talking he probably didn't mean to offend you. Infact he was probably trying to compliment you. No offense intended at all but why do so many people here get so offended over such harmless comments?

I think it is because this is our sensitive point. If you have been jeered at nagged and ridiculed all your life about the one point it does make you sensitive ...no matter if it was not intended to be hurtful. It has been my observation that usual people who have an issue ( weight, facial features, whatever) and who have been singled out in the past because of it..rarely make such personal comments because they know how it feels and they have empathy. That is why we find it so surprising that people feel it is their duty to comment on our physical condition ...as if maybe we just didnt know we were fat... and once they point it out then we might do something about it. I have noticed this particularly with my husband's ethnic group. They are traditionally not prone to weight gain and they are constantly amazed how people such as myself cannot control themselves... so they have in the past said things such as "My you really are fat" or "isnt your husband nice that he loves you despite you being so fat..you are lucky"

and the advice they can give you is priceless such as "you should try to eat less" or drink a glass of Water before each meal, or most priceless the specialist who I went to see re

Gastroscopy said that I shouldnt waste my time with banding and that I should eat an orange before each meal. She was a Professor of her speciality who would have weighed 59 kgs dripping wet ( which I would have gladly made her except for the fact that I needed her approval for the band) So instead I thanked her for her wonderful advice and said I would certainly give it the college try. All in all I think this is why I certainly am sensitive:smile2:

thanks for that Cathy. My main problem is with meat - no matter how much I chew and chew it doesnt go down. I have been trying fish (cant have tuna unless steamed not canned seems to be too dry) and cottage chesse (not a big fan reminds me of too many diets) but you know you really are right I can now walk away from food after a meal couldnt do that before band. My problem is I am hungry a couple of hours later thats why I have the snack.< /p>