HolliJ

Even since posting this originally, I'm getting more comments where people are like "You look good right now, you don't need to lose anymore". Yeah, I get it... I'm not overweight anymore and I don't "need" to, but I want to. I would look better if I did. And so I will!

I was very anti-cameras. I still am, but I'm better. On this forum is the first time I've ever displayed a picture of myself. I don't even have pictures of myself on Facebook! About half of the people there don't even know what I look like. And not just "for many years", but like.... ever. I have a lot of people from another forum on my FB and I've posted there since 2004. A year where I was clearly overweight. I kind of want to share what I've been through there, but at the same time.... I don't really want to admit even that I "was" fat. I seem to look different each day. Like yesterday, for instance, I looked quite thin when I looked in the mirror. A week ago I thought I looked chubby and my waist looked large. I think a lot of my problem is that I have a lot of excess looseness and it's, unfortunately, getting worse. I'm definitely going to need to get some work done. But some days I look in the mirror and I'm like DAMN my waist is getting small! Still have a booty, though. I had someone tell me I had a nice butt for a white girl, HAHAHA.

Posted not long ago, but thought I'd post again. The reason is that I'm no longer considered being overweight from a BMI standpoint. Currently at 105lbs down (263 to 158). The largest pants I bought were a size 24. I just bought a pair that were a size 6. The largest shirt size I bought was a 3X. I'm now buying size Small.

As of today.... I am officially in a normal weight range. I am no longer considered overweight according to the BMI. The funny thing is that when I went to type my weight into the calculator, I typed "258" instead of "158". I caught myself immediately after, but it made me think. Yesterday a guy at work told me that he thought I weighed 100 pounds. 100 pounds?!? I scoffed and laughed and he said I couldn't weigh more than 120. I didn't tell him my actual weight, but he seemed shocked that I weighed more than 120. I don't think I look like I weigh 120, but people had been telling me for months they thought I weighed no more than 130. And I've lost more weight since then. Another guy told me I was a skinny b***h (as a girl would say to another... he's gay). I said, "Not yet" and he said, "Yeah, you are, now."

Absolutely true!! No one ever said anything to my face when I was overweight, other than my mom. You know people saw it and probably judged you for it, but no one said anything. I knew I was fat and I knew I was unhealthy. I was glad that no one said anything because I don't think it would have helped me at all - it would have made me feel worse and more ashamed of myself. My drive to lose weight is encouraged by positive feedback, not negative feedback.

Don't I know it! I know people now that I didn't know when I was fat. One guy said to me recently, "You have a great figure for a 28 year old. Most women start to let themselves go," (he's 22 and apparently not that smart in what things to say to women). I laughed and told him I was unletting myself go. I told him later on how much I used to weigh and it was hard for him to believe it. People say to me, "I can't picture you being over 200lbs". It's interesting to hear that. I see people looking at me in a different way than they used to. To them, I have always been as I am now. To me, I was very different.... and it's still very hard to accept myself as I am now and not still want to believe that people will be revolted by me if I'm flirty. Every time someone new compliments me or asks me out, I am surprised.

I saw my surgeon a week ago and he asked if I was going to lose any more weight. I said yes, that I wanted to lose around 20lbs more. He's like, "Oh, really? Well, you look great where you're at." (or similar). I brought up how I was still considered overweight and he said the BMI doesn't take into account muscle, etc... as if I have any! So it seems like even he was basically saying I don't need to lose any more. I get that I don't NEED to, for health reasons.... but I'd like to for personal reasons. I would like to have a fit, toned body that's free of excess fat.

I've been wearing size 9 jeans (juniors size) for a few weeks. Since April, I've gone down from a size 17 in the same kind of jeans. Yesterday I had to buy a pair of black slacks for my seasonal second job because all I normally wear is jeans. I had a pair of the same pants in August and they were a size 12. The size I bought yesterday is a size 6!! I'm pretty sure these pants are larger than their size states, but still.... size 6 felt pretty good to buy, lol.

I had also been consuming a lot of salt, so I think that probably also contributed.

I just went through this exact thing less than a week ago. Over Thanksgiving weekend, I thought my band had slipped. I was having horrible heartburn, everything was getting stuck. Monday morning I could barely even drink anything. I could only get through 1/3 of my Protein shake in a 20 min period. So I called my surgeon and went in that afternoon. We didn't discuss that time of the month (although it was just about to start for me), but he did say something about my band may have "settled" (whatever that means). He took out what he put in a year ago, which was 0.8cc. I hadn't had a fill in almost a year and hadn't experienced heartburn in 2 years, so that's why I thought it was a slip. Well, what he took out worked. I haven't had any problems since. I'm less restricted than I was, but I'm actually glad for right now because I'm not having any problems with things getting stuck. I'm visiting someone in another state next month that doesn't know about my surgery and I'll be eating every meal with him, so I'd rather not have to deal with food issues. I'm calorie counting, so I won't be overeating or anything. But yeah, I was pretty convinced my band had slipped. I'm kind of thinking it had just tightened because I was starting my period and I may have just aggravated it more with my eating.

I've currently lost 102lbs! From 263 to 161.

Ah, didn't read the whole thread. My leak was in my tube. But either way, I would still have done whatever I needed to do.

I've been through a second surgery to get the tube (and port) replaced. Almost a year ago, actually. Wow, doesn't feel like that long! The excess tubing from weight loss, I guess, wrapped around the port. So when the doctor did a fill, he punctured the tube. So I had a surgery to correct it. Truly, no big deal. Not fun going through another surgery, and paying more money due to what the insurance company didn't cover, but it was well worth it. Prior to the surgery I was having issues with the saline either not going in or being able to be removed. My fill prior to surgery resulted in completely losing all restriction. I went through a hell of a time because my doctor was going to China to adopt a child and was gone for a couple months. Then surgery was scheduled and whatnot. But it was about 4 months without any restriction. I gained weight during that time because I was discouraged and also felt like I had an excuse to eat whatever I wanted (which I didn't, but did anyway). After the surgery and my next fill a couple months later, I started doing great. Took me a couple months to get dedicated, but started really losing weight around April. Since then, I've lost 45lbs. I haven't had a fill since December. Don't really need one. My weight loss depends on me and what I'm eating. But yeah.... I know it's a pain in the ass, but **** happens. It was actually a first for my doctor (yay me....), but I've been doing great since! You'll be fine and happy you did it.

Typically when people ask how I do it, I tell them I eat smaller portions, make better food choices, and exercise. That's not a lie, that's the truth. I don't have a problem with people knowing I've had the lapband, but I don't typically share unless there's a reason to. I don't go out and tell everyone, but a good number of people I work with know. Someone in the office next to me has been going through the process for quite a while (she has a different insurance and they require the 6 month doctor supervised diet) and her surgery is in the next couple weeks. It's funny because when she sent an e-mail to our lead, requesting the time off, she said "Because I want to be like Holli when I grow up, I am taking off.....etc etc". I thought that was cute. I also shared an office with one lady for 2 years. She was there when I got the lapband and also for the next year. She saw my struggles and my success. At the time she had said it wasn't something she'd do because she knew several people that "failed" with it (haven't lost weight). Well, I'm close to losing 100lbs. About a month ago she called me up (we now work in a different location) and said she decided she was going to get the lapband and I was her inspiration. Her surgery is in 2 days. Sometimes it's good to let people know, especially those you know struggle with weight. Weight loss isn't easy and some of us really do need the extra help. I like knowing that I've inspired at least one person to make a decision to want to be healthy.

Eh, that's not necessarily true. My tube wrapped around my port and was punctured by the needle during a fill. I lost all restriction and had to have a surgery to replace the tube and port.

A lot of people know about my band, but I don't generally tell people about it. My family and their neighbors know. A number of my co-workers also know. I don't have a problem telling people about it, especially if it's someone who would BENEFIT from the knowledge. Someone in the office next to me has been going through the process and considering the lap-band. And I think it's encouraging for her to see my weight loss and to know that it does help. My response to most people, concerning my weight loss, is that "I count calories". And that's entirely true. The band doesn't take the weight off - I do. I gained 20lbs at one point. I've gone through stages where I ate anything I wanted. And I know people that have had the band and haven't lost weight... and actually GAINED. But when I really lost weight, it was due to my changes in my diet and exercise. Especially now. I don't feel dishonest about it, either. I currently have more dedication and strength of mind than anyone else I know. Just because I have the band doesn't mean it's gonna stop me from eating candy and cakes. *I* made the choice not to do that, so I am responsible for my weight loss. And people that know about my band see me weighing my food, eating healthy foods, and staying away from all the **** that is brought in. So they can't see that and say, "Oh, she's cheating because she had weight loss surgery. That's why she's losing weight." because it would be entirely untrue.

I am losing inches, though. And gaining muscle.

You may not be eating enough. Our bodies need calories to work properly. There's a point where you're eating too little and when you're eating too much. You need to figure out (based on calculators or something) where that line is for you. If you eat too little, your metabolism slows and you don't lose weight as quickly. If you're exercising for an hour a day, you're burning more calories, which means you really need to eat MORE than you would have without exercise in order to lose weight. I'm kind of there, too. I had been eating 1,200 calories a day and that worked for me. Now that I'm exercising, I burn about 600 calories most days. And I have not been eating more, so I haven't been losing weight. I really NEED to consume more, but I don't really WANT to and I'm having trouble trying to convince myself to eat more.

I'm at kind of the same point right now. I frequently pass up sugary foods like cakes, cookies, donuts, candy, etc... It has actually been almost a month since I've had any kind of foods like that. I've made a lifestyle change and I CHOOSE not to eat these foods. I'm not tortured because of it, either. Because I count calories to lose weight, I could eat whatever I wanted as long as it fell within my calorie budget. And at one point, that's exactly what I did. But truly, those high-sugar foods make you hungrier. And because I don't eat them, I don't want them. Well.... I want them, but it's not an overwhelming desire. Kind of like how I would love to eat sushi everyday, but don't because it's so expensive. There are downfalls to many things that a person may "want" and that's not just limited to food. Part of being responsible for your life is to say, "I want this, but the consequences for having it are more than I'm willing to pay". And I can live with that because I know I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to have energy throughout the day. I want to fit into smaller clothes. I want to feel my hip bones come back. I want to FEEL good about myself. And over the past couple months, as the weight loss has gotten me to a point where I'm really seeing changes, that is SO MUCH more rewarding to me than a piece of cake. And really, I'd have no problem eating one. One piece of cake every once in a while won't hurt me and I won't beat myself up about it. But it feels good to know that I've gotten to a point where I don't need to eat those foods. I can resist them. Just like giving up soda 2 years ago - I haven't had any since. And I never thought that would be possible for me. I've been banded for two years now. It took me a long time to get to the point where I am now with my "relationship" with food. I like food. But I'm not obsessed with food. I don't think about food all day. I have healthy doses of food in my life and that's enough for me. I get stressed as much as anyone else, but I stopped feeding my emotions with food. It felt good in the moment, but didn't feel so good at 263lbs. I let so many things in my life control me, including food, and it feels good to know that I can turn that around and control food for once.

- when we lose weight, is there a place that it usually shows first? is that different with everyone or is it a fairly normal parts that happen in the first stages? For me, it was distributed and remains distributed. I don't carry my weight in one particular area of my body. I guess that's good because people assume I weigh less than I actually do. I think it's more obvious in particular places (your face, etc...) because there's less fat there to begin with. I do think it depends on the person, though. - when we buy Protein and it is of course in the big jugs, how long does it last after we open it before it becomes less effective or becomes off tasting? I bought my Protein powder right before my surgery in July 09. I used it maybe twice and kept it in the pantry. It wasn't until the end of March of this year that I decided to give it a go again (it mostly had to do with blending the ice... but I discovered I prefer it poured over ice instead). It was marked to expire in May 2011. I had no issues with the taste/quality. I lost 30lbs in the past 3 months, so it obviously didn't hurt me any. I finished the tub and bought a new one about a week ago. The only difference I notice is that the new tub doesn't have as much foam when I blend it in the Magic Bullet. Taste and anything else is the same. - how long till people are able to carry groceries and laundry and the like after surgery? (I have 5 kids and do a LOT of laundry, lifting of kiddos for baths and getting on bus...) -- As others mentioned, a couple weeks? I really don't remember. - is it hard to find a dr to continue to do fills if you have to move after you have surgery? I think it would depend on the area and the doctor. My doctor does fills for people who had surgeries elsewhere. - i have seen different things about ab excercise after being banded and would love to know if it is or is not something that is safe, and if things like rock climbing would hurt too. -- I've had no issues exercising in the two years I've had my band. From what I've heard, you can do activities normally after being banded (well, after the recovery period). - i think i am only going to tell my neightbors that i had gallbladder surgery because they know that is something that has been a problem and I dont feel like i need to share this decision with them, do you think that will be enough of a reason for things being different with me for a time after while i am healing or will they know that there is more up with me? (outside of the weight loss that is) -- It depends. They wouldn't notice anything different unless you're eating around them. Most of the people I dine with are those that know about my surgery, so if I have issues and can't eat, they understand why. There is only one time I went to dinner with friends and couldn't eat more than a couple bites. None of them said anything, and I took the food to-go. I probably would have just told them I wasn't hungry and would eat later if they had asked. - what is the psych appt looking for? I believe they want to make sure they're not allowing someone with binging problems to get the band or those that won't comply to the "rules". They want to make sure the person understands that the band is a tool and isn't going to make you magically lose weight. A lot of people go into this thinking they don't have to make any changes and the weight will fall off. Believe me, that's not true. The purpose of the band is to make you not hungry so you won't overeat. It's not going to prevent you from eating poor foods or eat away your emotions. I've known 3 other people (that I'm aware of) with the band and they have been unsuccessful because they didn't want to change their habits. If you go into this with the idea of "I'm not changing, but I want the weight gone", you're going to fail. And you will have possibly spent a lot of money on the surgery for nothing. You need to be mentally prepared to make changes and the band will help you make those changes. About a year after surgery I had a complication (tube wrapped around port and doctor stabbed it during a fill, so I lost all restriction). Losing the restriction after having it, there was a huge difference in how hungry I was. I was able to really get a clear glimpse into how much the band works in curving hunger. And that's what it's there for. I can eat more if I wanted to. I could eat high calorie foods if I wanted to. But because I want to lose weight, and I have a tool that allows me to be free of intense hunger, I eat smaller portions because it's all I need. And I eat healthy foods because I want to be healthy. Isn't that why we did this in the first place?

I agree with Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard 100% Whey protein powder. That's what I use in the "Double Rich Chocolate" flavor. I mix that with skim milk, 1 tablespoon Peanut Butter, and 1/2 banana. It's amazing. It takes like a milkshake and completely satisfies my sweet tooth for the entire day. When I first got banded, I bought the powder. I thought it was a pain in the ass to blend up ice cubes from actual whole cubes, so I never used it. A couple months before it expired I decided to try it again, but pouring it over ice instead. I blend up the ingredients and then pour it into a cup of ice. Completely works for me and I love it. The total calories is just under 400 (for powder, milk, peanut butter, and banana), but Breakfast is an important meal and I don't have any problems with that amount.

I also weigh my food, if possible, to know exactly how many calories I'm consuming. What I do takes a lot of time and effort and I think most people aren't willing to devote that much time to preparing meals. When I make complete meals, I weigh ingredients. I calculate the weight of the entire dish and divide it into portions of equal weight. I actually find it to be fun to record my calories for the day and try to get the balance of protein/fat/carbs. But then again, I'm weird, and I also alphabetize my spice cabinet. It's really funny at work because my co-workers think I'm some freak of nature because of it (not in a bad way). They constantly ask me how much items weigh or their calorie content. Or they'll sit and watch me take apart a pre-made salad and weigh each separate item.

I was banded almost 2 years ago and I've lost a total of 80lbs SO FAR. That also included a 5-month period with zero restriction (I gained 20lbs back), followed by another surgery to correct the leaky tubing that caused the zero restriction. There have been times where I've been stressed, I would eat crap, and not lose anything. Or very little. It really wasn't until April of this year that I kind of said, "What the hell?" to myself and started really losing the weight a little faster. Prior to that, I had lost 50lbs (also taking into effect the 20lbs I gained, which means I had really lost 70lbs), So since April I've lost 30lbs. What works for me? Calorie counting. I eat 1,200 calories a day and I'd say most of what I eat is healthy. About 3 weeks ago I cut out chocolate/desserts/sweets and alcohol. Not to say I'll never eat/drink those things again, but I'm trying to do it as little as possible. I have a Protein shake for breakfast every morning, then a snack, then lunch, then a snack, then dinner. Snacks being carrots, nuts, etc.... I have to say that I find it to be incredibly easy for me at this point. It wasn't easy when I first got the band. I still wanted to eat bad foods and I still felt hungry. But right now, I am so completely focused on eating well. And while I have no temptations at home (I only have healthy foods in the house), the job where I spend 9 hours a day (5 days a week) is awful! There is a "candy drawer" 2 feet from my desk with bags and bags of candy. People will bring in donuts, pies, cakes, brownies, etc.... And I haven't touched them! I never thought I could get to a point where it became easy for me to resist food. It takes a while, but I think you eventually get to a point where you can separate food from being an emotional crutch. Or at least I did. When you can't binge or eat your feelings away, knowing it is painful to get stuck, you learn to stop doing that. I love food, I always will, but it doesn't control me anymore. My life doesn't revolve around it. I like to eat, but I don't think about food all day. I've been feeling awesome. I can see and feel the differences in my body, at last. When you're heavy, even when losing a lot of weight, you still don't really notice it that much. You may buy smaller sizes, but you still feel fat. I've been wearing the clothes that I wore 30lbs ago, which were already loose at the time. Last weekend I bought some more form-fitting tops. I'd say at least 30 people have commented or freaked out about how different I look and how thinner I am. Even my own family hadn't really seen me in form fitting clothes for a while. That's a great feeling. I still feel like I'm fat, though. I know I still have more to lose. I'm now "overweight" instead of "obese" (that occurred about 8lbs ago). People tell me that I look smaller than I actually am. Someone today asked what size I wore. I said I'm currently in a size 15 jeans (juniors), but I do actually fit into a size 13 (which is a size 12 in ladies). She said I look smaller than that. I mean, wow! I'm 28. I haven't been a size 13 since I was.... 17?

By that I mean people who decided to not let the band work for them, either by eating around it or not getting fills (and thus keeping their restriction almost non-existent)? I work with a couple people who got banded a few years ago. They're friends and got it done at the same time. And BOTH OF THEM have not lost weight because they found ways to cheat and avoid having restriction. They'll eat slider foods or drink warm liquids while eating, which pushes the food down. They haven't had fills in years. I know I don't have the perfect success story (I'm eating great now, but hadn't been for a while), but I still have never drank while or directly after eating. I definitely WANT the band to work for me and I definitely WANT to lose weight. The world is not perfect and sometimes we don't make the best choices, and sometimes fall of the wagon, but that doesn't mean we give up. I guess I just don't understand how people can go through a surgery and get this band, but then refuse to allow it to work for them. These are the only people that I know of that have had the lap-band. And they've failed and really don't seem to care. No wonder people around me tell me about their experiences with other people who have had it and it "didn't work for them". Or they lost weight and gained it back. Is that what happens to the majority that has it done? I love food. Fortunately I love ALL food, even healthy ones. So it's not difficult for me to eat well, although I definitely prefer "not-so-good" foods! They're usually cheaper and quicker to prepare! So is it that they don't want to give up food? Don't want to deal with the PB'ing and getting stuck? Don't want to change? I can understand that.... but why get the surgery done in the first place? Do they believe they're capable of modifying their behavior but then realize they can't? Or did they believe it was a magic wand and they wouldn't continue to have to work for it?

I know, I had someone try to discourage me from the surgery because they knew someone who had it done and it didn't work and they gained even more weight. Well, yeah, that happens.... but I'm going to try to make sure I'm not one of them!