Desperate1

Riley - I have the night time grazing issues! I think it's my house and I gotta move - as soon as I walk in the door in the evenings i can think of nothing else but food. Like Ive said in my prior posts - I am NOT hungry at all - but my mouth and eyes are battling my tummy all the time. Glad you're back in your 10's - you will be in 8's soon - you are persistant. I seriously have no desire to get up and get movin! gotta actually turn this computer off to do so - bye all

I hope you do become vain when you are thin (don't get skinny girlfriend) that will keep you from falling off the wagon and gaining back any of the weight. Take away all your full length mirrirs for a while and don't look in the big glass windows when you walk by them - try it for about 30 days and when you do see yourself again you will see the difference!

Riley - so glad you're not going anywhere! but all those symptoms I have now - without rapid weight loss LOL. You're right though, about kaiser - I don't want anybody being discouraged from the program cuz it got me here today - well, that & You all! Truly, its not any of the kaiser staff that I have a problem with, it's me! Just easier to blame kaiser than myself LOL. I am the only one responsible to seek out the extra help that I need for my head issues. really gotta head out now !!!

Laurel - you're hungry? "So What, your stomech doesn't growl, that's just air pushing thru your bowels" LOL That is what I got from Doc Who Tina - good to see ya! Can you please tell me what you are doing that is so much better than being online cuz it appears that I don't have a Life LOL. Lookin thru the pics - TamTam & Pat - since I haven't seen you all in a while I can really see the difference! you both seem to have gotten so much smaller! John - let us know how that metaucil works out for ya hahaha. Riley Jane - you look awsome - I thought i read a post of yours somewhere that sait you gained weight - bull Sh** you look tiny as hell! Heather - gonna get my butt out there and walk today - I will be thinking of you as I do so - you will keep me going LOL Donna - I would've called but I didn't want anybody to have to go so far out of their way to get me. BTW that was the last time she borrows any of my cars - I got one in the shop still from the last time she had it so this one is the only workin one I have left LOL. don't know how I'm gonna get the other one out of the shop - money wise that is LOL..... Got so many things to do today - off I go..... have a beautiful day ladies & John -

Before I finish reading all the post I have to say - get it sized Ash! I lost my antique VERY EXPENSIVE platinum & diamond wedding set already once!!!!!! Didn't even feel it come off my finger so don't play around with that. I was devistated. Pammie - Well said! Don't leave!!!!

"SUPPORT" That's really all I gotta say about the matter and I'm done!

Thanks, Pat!!! I, too, feel bad that Tina doesn't post anymore as she IS ONE OF THE ORIGINAL THREAD STARTERS! We SHOULD be able to post all of it. I've spoken to Tina and she's great - she got a fill at the fill center and their outlook on the whole thing better suits her - and probably myslef too. I'm a bit negative on some of the Kaiser staff in the way that they treat me as a "one size fits all" and I don't know about Ya'll but I've never been able to fit into a "one size fits all" Never been my size. I think we all have some type of eating disorder or we wouldn't have the weight problems that we have - Most of us eat out of emotional issues and this is suppose to be a support group. If the way kaiser was/is treating Tina was/is an emotion problem for her then I'd rather her come here and vent then eat - kinda like a sponser in AA. My thought is that if we don't like it or can't offer any contructive insight or help then we can skip over it - not read it and move on. I like the People that persist until a solution is found or the problem solves itself - it proves they're not quitters and won't give up. Alot of the old timers that got me thru this are greatly needed on here for guidence. Nicole, Tina, Riley, Donna & Christine were a godsend for me. How will you know if you're stuck or if it's just your port hurting unless you have somebody to turn to that has gone thru it before.

So who is Laurel's contact - anybody heard any news yet? Good wishes your way Laurel! Pat - so sorry I didn't make it this weekend - I was stuck without a car - my sister in law borrowed it to take my niece car shopping and didn't bring it back till late sunday afternoon - was expecting her Saturday night or first thing Sunday Morning - Grrr! So sorry I missed it - You look like you've lost a ton of weight! TamTam - you look tiny in your new pics! BTW: after band we aren't suppose to weigh, we are suppose to measure. now it's all about portion sizes. Oh, and RNY isn't easy! Yeah, the weight comes off faster but... a year or so out when the mal-abosorbtion wears off and there is NO restriction it's an even bigger struggle than the band. The band is an excellent tool and you will LOVE it when you get the right fill! Heather - keep showing the day who's boss! I need to get on that wagon!!! Pammie - careful on that eliptical and stay away from that frozen yogurt - slider! Ash - sorry it took so long to add you as my friend - I haven't been on in a while. I struggle with some issues often and I don't like it to come thru on the board - I wouldn't want to Piss off TamTam LMAO John - it is a learning curve isn't it hahaha. I wouldn't drink anything if you feel uncomfortably full. With the band we have a place (bottom stomech) to push it thru to but with the sleeve I'm afraid you'd just be adding to the problem. You have no place to push the food thru to. Chrissy & Jean - so glad you have you on board!

Lee - good thought on the dress - Imma roll with that one (wishful thinking LOL) Riley - Careful of that sometimers - it's a Bio-tch! Pammie - that class seems interesting - I'm gonna go to the website and see what I can find out about it. Happy friday to us, Happy friday to us.... Ali - One of my girls that had RNY 6 years ago has gained a ton of weight back - she started out a size 26 (5'2" tall) got down to a 5/7 and is now back in a 16. She drinks brandy nightly but she drank alcoholic before the surgery - Just drinks alot more now. If I had known then what I know now about WLS & transferrence of addiction I would have had a long talk with her about it. She needs serious help! She actually use to keep a water bottle full of vodka on her desk at work till her boss finally said something to her about it. Scary stuff. Today is day two carbless. Rambo is kickin my butt! So funny how he lets me eat all the chocolate & junk food I want without so much as a hickup but now that I'm back on my game he's back in action. I PB'd on chicken salad yesterday - just canned costco chicken with a tad but of mayo, S&P! Got two bites in and wham! it was a no go. I was able to finish the rest of my 1/2 later in the day - had a slice of peperjack cheese for din-din. Need to quit fartin around and get the rest of this weight off!

Evening all - Got nothin new to report - picked up my dress from bridezilla tonight for her wedding and it's too long - hmmm? the one i tried on in the store was just right - guess it's their tactic - the one you order is way too long so you have to come in to have it altered - got a trick for em though - going to the cleaners for 1/2 the Cost!!!! Happy Birth Week Nikki LOL. Ok, gotta go, Gonna cry now - got the news on and there are so many dogs that have been siezed for abuse - dog fighting - got staples, scars and motor oil on em. So so so sad! I HATE THIS CRAP - GETS ME SO SO SO DEPRESSED AND I SIMPLY CAN NOT BELIEVE HOW CRUEL SOME PEOPLE CAN TRULY BE. My night is ruined, but I'll wake up tomorrow - they will be murdered for something they had zero choice in! Sorry for venting but animals are my weekness and this just came on at the wrong time!!

Oh, Heather, if the fiber wraps worked I'd be down to try em but you know there was alot more to what she did than that - again, Dr. Oz never quite divulges ALL the info - like, what happens when you're an addict - I never hear him dealing with the mental part of it. I wish that show "the swan" was still around - sure would love to be a swan! Moving is no fun Heather so i don't envy you that but owning your own home and being the only ones responsible to fix the roof, the blumbing, etc... Is just such a joy LMAO Ash, I could use ALL of Reggies recipes - sure would be nice to know how to cook - then maybe I wouldn't be eating such junk! Hey reggie - Have you ever been to Teavana there is Sac? I was doing a little research for bridezilla's tea party and i think I'm about to be a searious tea drinker - they have a Rooibos tea that is Tiramisu flavored. What? Tiramisu without all the carbs & calories - and if I'm correct, Rooibos tea's are decaf and good for you! Woo Hoo - I say we need to make a trip over there. JES - that's what i love so much about you - so keep it real my friend - lemme tell you that I KNOW i've put on a few the way I've been eating lately but I have yet to step on the scale - chicken! Anyway, when I tried on my body magic and couldn't get it closed I freaked out - I thought WTF?? Have I really gained that much weight. I was near tears when I looked at the tag and realized it was 2 sizes smaller that it was suppose to me LMAO. I was truly bout to pass a brick if you know what I mean. My sometimers is kickin in - can't remember what I wanted to say I'll tell you this, I tried/am trying to eat a piece of the almond bread the my friggin neighbor insisted on bringing me but Rambo ain't havin it - he's back! Tomorrow I'm back on my 4 protein mini meals - the bread is goin in the garbage, all the cake & rice I got from Reggie is sadly gone so no more carbs for me - i may even start working out again hahahaha

OMG, Reggie - I'm out of rice - I'm having withdrawls LOL. How's Rocky treatin ya? Rambo is on va-ca!

She did it in 12 weeks but you know Dr. Oz never really tells details - she does 10,000 steps and eats fiber wraps - that's all I got out of it - Now I'm watching the doctors and the Plastic Surgeon just told some lady who was considering getting the band - her questions wasn't about the band, it was about weather or not it's ok to get it done in Mexico - he said stay close to home and get bypass! It's a proven method and the band dependent on some medical devise. Lucky I couldn't reach thru the tube and smack him - you get your email?

Watching Dr. Oz - gonna learn how to go from a size 16 to a size 6 in weeks hahahaha. Maybe days since i'm starting out at a 14 & not a 16.... Will keep you posted.

Rambo, take me away....... Mo, I'm sinkin wicha! I am blaming it on Reggie, JES & Coco! Coco had to go and get married which meant Reggie & JES had to cook and well, that just meant I HAD to eat - unfortunately, my mouth has not realized that the reception is over! Coco - so sorry bout the cherry kisses LMAO John, Rambo is being good to me but my taste buds are not. I can't eat alot in one sitting but I can have alot of sittings LOL. I've PB'd alot these last 2 days but it hasn't seemed to stop me from trying - again - the food I'm suppose to eat is what makes me PB but the all the junk food that I'm not suppose to eat goes down just fine - so.... I gotta get my head examined! Just sent off my $957.00 check to cobra! Danm health care - at least we got it down from 600 to 4 something! But we still hafta pay for the month we didn't use - Therefor - I must get back on track and lose these last little pounds before I see Doc Who again - just when I thought I was off the hook!! UGH! I ate a whole chocolate bar tonight - at least it was 85% Dark cocoa so not too bad - 210 cal & 5 g carbs. OMG - watching discovery health and this man is talking about his little girl - she has a headache and this man had the audacity to say "a headache is a headache and it will go away" gee 4 days later he takes her to the Doc. Apparently he's never had a headache! Sensative subject for me! I find that I eat more when I'm alone - my husband is in Alabama and won't be back till Friday so here I am, in bed, alone.... snacking! Oh, a lady that works in the office next to me - mind you I see her ALL the time just asked me today if i've "lost weight" said "you look different" Bet underneath all that hair dye is a natural blonde hahahaha. TamTam - you have my metabolism - we must be the only people on earth that can gain 10lbs in 2 days LOL donna - whacha doin miss lady - those carnations still sittin pretty... ??

Hi everybody - just checkin in - been a long weekend! cmelosew8 - Love the name! took me a minute but I got it - don't know of any sites but you are more than welcome here! Pammie - how are you - I haven't seen you in so long.... :thumbup: Coco - how does it feel to say "hubby" - and NO, you are NOT moving - you are bound to us. Need more "honeymoon" details - will email you the pics when I get home. Analynn - are you at goal yet girl? what's up, what's up?? Laurel - I lived of ricotta cheese - still do! My fav is my faux tiramisu! a little splenda, a little expresso powder with cocoa dusted on top - Yummmmmyyyyyyy. You at goal yet?? I know you're close!! John - so sorry bout all the puree's, Pb's & cold - You are in Hell on earth so bitch on - it's cool! I will send you a friend request too - I wanna be your friend. Ali - Love the Avatar sister! Mo - Miss ya girlfriend - long time no see, hear or read??? Hether - miss photogenic - you should really look into some type of modeling - guys I have the best pic of Heather. Yeah, it was christine that had the ricotta bake! Christine - how's that bun cookin? Ahs - go girl, GO!!! Hi Karen - how's it goin? Reggie - it was so so so great haning out with you Friday night - wish you lived closer! I talked to my child and she said she'd love to come to your house for a baking party - as long as she doesn't hafta bake LOL. Rambo is wishy washy - hope Rocky is better to you! Could you please remind me what a protein is? All weekend I had cake & rice for Bfst, Lunch & Dindin - that rice is off the chain - need that recipe - what is that spice you put in it??? Ya'll need to hire Reggie to cater your parties - she is the bimb diggidy cook - Of course JES will need to be there too with her shrimp! JES - Yes, you know those shrimp you make are my favorites! really need to know how to make that sauce. I also need you to kick me in my A** to get me back on track - Reggie ruined me :smile2: April - why do I never see you on here anymore - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your daughter! She's a kick! You should bring her next time! How's the vegetarian thing workin out for her?? Donna - my love - I am so very happy we got to hang out on Friday. We need to get together more often. We make a good team :thumbup: Love ya! Riley Jane - how's it hangin? Hope to see you on the 20th - hell, bring that man of yours if you so feel like it. Pat - can't wait till this weekend - Probably won't be able to stay long - got some bridezilla crap to do - food tasting for the reception dinner. Just what I need to do, right?

Ash - Laurel - Hi ladies!

Hey everybody - no time to catch up on it all but I wanted to pop in and remind you all that I'm still alive and kickin Pat - your tea party sound so much more fun then mine will be - Had a pow wow with the bridesmaids and basically just decided to let them veto me and do what they want. I really wanted to go traditional but they want to go cheap & easy - that actually works out well for me - and the earrings they picked out I hate but what the heck - they were like $5 and I can throw them away after the wedding. Ali - congrats on your decision! Riley - today is day one of carb detox for me and I'm having a heck of a time of it - eating sunflower seeds to keep me away from the kitchen - the first few days are always the hardest Donna - so glad you called today - I love hearing from you and I look forward to seeing you Friday. Coco - it I already congrats you but I want to do it publicly so congrats bachelorette - darn it - not time for a bachelorette party and that's always my favorite part of it all! So glad you love the dress - I love it too. If suits you well - "simply beautiful". See you sister! Reggie - we could use a wedding cake around these parts - LOL. John you've lost more than me already! I'm jealous but happy for you. I can't wait to see you at the next group - I love to see the difference in people. Hi Nikki! Lee - I know, johns a butt! But us women gotta stick to gether and we will prevail! Pammie - I wish I had your will & restriction - mine comes & goes. Mo.. What's happenin girlfried? Glad you're still lovin your band. JES - what's with you -- seems like our lives keep getting in the way of our group here. So many weddings, so little time.... We gotta hook up! K, off to work out some cake issues.

Thanks Lee - I saw the same psych. John - I so hope the job thing works out for you - my husband is an electrician in SF so on top of him getting hurt & having surgery, business is real slow. Heather - you are too funny - yeah, the bridal party is planning the shower but she wants to be involved - she got veto'd! We're having a tea party with sundresses & sun hats. Gonna be in the park so we'll have to do Ice Tea unless anybody has some suggestions on how to heat up the water in the park - LOL I'm gonna do a decaf black tea, a green tea, a fruit tea, a thai tea with tapioca pearls & a long island ice tea LOL (JK) Actually, I am truly thinking of doing a spiced rum tea. Baking scones, making lemon curd & finger sammies. Thinking the ol faithful cucumber, a chicken almond sammie & a crab & cream cheese sammie - I've never done this before so if anybody has any insight that would be awsome! Coco - did you find shoes yet?? Thanks for coming out last minute to shop with me!! You look beautiful my dear!! Ali - I find that when I dont wear my pedometer I walk longer - when I see that I've done 2 miles I'm like, ok, that's enough! BTW: I still don't know what the bones in my wrist look like LOL LOL TamTam - hang in girlie - snacks are just around the corner

John - I was very tired for the 2nd & 3rd week so you should snap out of it soon! Lee - Although I don't have the coverage right now, I will again so can you tell me which thereapist it is? Do we go to the same one we did our psych with or...? Is it a therapist that specializes in food related issues....?? Allice in Wonderland was ok - I was truly hoping Jonny Depp would be totally whacked out and animated but he seemed to be a typical "mad hatter" NO POPCORN - was only hard till the initial smell shock wore off. I did eat sunflower seeds - OH, and I went to applebees for lunch and got a fabulous chicken breast with portabello shrooms - the entire plate was 450 cals - I didn't eat the potatos or the veggies (broccoli) so it had to have been alot less than that. I give it a thumbs up! Ok, back to bridal shower planning... sigh

Pat - share ALL your thoughts lady! I vote freedom of speach for all!! I know that when I'm feeling negative, I try not to get on the board so that I don't bring anybody else down because I have such a big mouth - simply because I know it's MY issue that ya'll can't help with - That said, if I did have a problem that I felt wasn't just my issue I would post it! Help if you can and ignore me if you can't. Pat - so true that we are the only ones responsible for our own journey. I, for one, know that Rambo is NOT failing me, it is I that am failing him. Late night snacking and no exercising! That said, we are a part of a program to get the help that we need and I feel that we should get that help, not rejection. I would hope that if I went to Kaiser for help that they wouldn't just say "no fill" & send me on my way but point me in the direction/refer me to somebody equipped to handle my INDIVIDUAL issues. I really want to find a thereapist that specializes in food addiction/obsession - WE LOST OUR HEALTH INSURANCE - cobra is 600.00 and we simply don't have it. We hope that my husband will be back to work and our health ins. to kick back in towards the end of the year and when that happens I WILL be pursuing it. At the risk of repeating myself.... I am NOT hungry so i don't understand why I still have such an URGENT need to eat. I use to just be hungry all the time but now I'm not so WTF?? I'll be the first to admit that i have major issues LOL. Going to see Alice in Wonderland today - IMAX 3D: Good news is that with this fill that I have I am afraid of the popcorn getting stuck - fear is a good tool when used properly hahahaha

I HAD to share this: True love: Lap-band and low-carb

Boy oh boy - 9 pages to read to catch up! There has been a death in my Extended family - actually, she passed away 3:00 am last saturday morning which is why I didn't make the meeting. My Aunt is just a wreck behind it so I've been spending all my spare time with her. I'm in the same boat with alot of you - Rambo is doing his job but I'm not really doing mine - I do eat a lot less than if I didn't have the band but I can still eat the wrong food and I can still eat often. Sad part is I'm NOT hungry at all! Ever!! But my mouth has a mind of its own and just wants to taste everything! Heather: Happy belated girlfriend! Love that your mom did that for you. And since you opened that can of worms now you know you HAVE to sing for me! Missed you too TamTam: You never mentioned how it went in Tahoe - or maybe I just missed it?? How did it go? Coco - How ya feelin? That gas gone yet??? I have 2 black labs you can have - Bobo & Asia, I have two cats you can have - Cali & Bella - See how that would all work out - You can have the animals and the names you want and I can get some sleep at night JES: We need to hook up and do the damn thing! I too keep losing & gaining the same few lbs. Just can't seem to keep my mouth in check. I do so well during the days but in the evenings/nights I'm like a crack addict - gotta have my carbs. Ash - how's your son doing? Do the tubes bother him at all, can he feel them? Bridezilla was working the Monster Jam - did ya see her?? Congrats on the psyche date! TINA: I FORBID THIS GROUP TO BE SPLIT! DAMN IT! Us rookies could never make it thru without the guidence of the pro's. Sorry about all the struggles you're having with Kaiser and work. The fill recommendation list was informative - maybe we need to mail a copy to Robin. I don't agree with having to "earn" a fill. Kaiser absolutely can not take my band back - I have to allow them to do surgery on me for that and I won't do it! John - I know parting with some of the fav's are hard but don't you just feel so great now! You & Terminator have lost 10 inches in your waist?? Yee Ha! Maria - waiting to hear about that interview sister! Riley - I am so with you on the carbs - Do they have a shot or drug for that? Analynn - congrats my girlfriend! On the goal weight that is, not on your choice in men LOL. Proud of you for letting go of someone you loved - sometimes, love just isn't enough! Beverly: The port, for me, wasn't as bad as I thougt it would be - just felt like I had done way to many crunches at the gym - but it was an extended soreness - lasted about 8 weeks. Pammie: I agree with you about the after care & support. I feel that there should be a therapist that specializes in food addiction available. Reggie - Yes! We need to find the underlying causes of the weight gain. For me, I think its clear that I'm an addict. I am obsessed with food. Let me repeat this: I am NOT hungry at all! but yet & still I'm obsessing over food 24/7. No idea why or how to stop it but i am. I love Rambo because he will actually HALT me. He will refuse the food I put in him if I try to go overboard - I would love to know if the sleeve does that at all?? Girl with the band problem - so sorry I didn't write down your name!! Sounds like maybe you've slipped your band?? I don't really know what that feels like but what you are describing just sound off beat for the band!