milwif

Ok...I really shouldn't use the word "disdain" it's much too harsh. Don't get me wrong, I do love my body and I am so thankful for how far I have come. I just still have those days where I feel fat or I wish I were skinnier.

I have been banded for about a year and a half now. With the band there are many things you come to expect and rejoice in such as losing weight and getting healthy. One thing I did not expect to still be struggling with was my body image. While it has improved beyond measure, I still find myself comparing my body to other people's bodies, and looking in the mirror with disdain. Why do I do this to myself? I am so much happier and healthier, I have lost 85 lbs, my relationship with my friends, family, and husband has improved, I do things I never thought possible, and all around my life is significantly better. I suppose that to some degree I will always be just a little too hard on myself, I just hope that with time I learn to truly love my body and appreciate the progress I have made. One thing that I have also noticed is that before when I was bigger, I had no idea what I would look like at a certain weight. I could only guess that at 160 lbs I would be __ size or at 150 I would look like __. So now that I am actually hitting these numbers it's odd to compare how I look in reality, to how I imagined I would look. Can anyone else who is a ways out from surgery relate to these feelings?

Man how time flies! I was talking with my mother in law tonight about my surgery because she is interested in getting it and had a few questions. I was telling her how much weight I have lost and how long it took and it occured, exactly one year ago today I had surgery and changed my life!

Here is what I have gained in my life:

A positive outlook

confidence and self assurance

a gym membership

smaller clothes

happiness

being social again

the experience of doing a half marathon

a husband that chases me around the house:wink2:

a healthy, happy body!

Here is what I have lost:

70 lbs.

depression

health problems

trouble breathing doing simple tasks

size 24 pants and 2x tops

being embarrassed to go out or run into people I know

I would do it all over again in a hearbeat. I heading nowhere fast as far as weight loss went and this band was really a blessing. I know that I still have weight to lose (30 lbs or so) but I have come very far and I'm so proud of that. Oh, I can also paint my toenails again:smile2:

What a great accomplishment-- congratulations!! Which half mary did you do?

I did the Pacific Crest Half Marathon in Sunriver, OR.

Thank you everyone!

Shanny-I won't lie to you, there was a lot of pain and exhaustion. I hit a serious wall around mile 9 and really contemplated giving up. But I knew I would be so mad at myself for quitting with just 4 miles left to go. Plus, how was I suppose to go back home and tell everyone I couldn't finish? My advice to you is to really, really, really pace yourself from the get go. 13.1 miles is a very long distance to travel, and if you feel yourself getting too tired take it easy. Walk if you have to. Stop and get Water and electrolytes at every station. You have to do what's best for you and even if there are people flying past you, just do what you need to do to get to that finish line.

I just wanted to share, because I am so proud of myself. I would have never been able to do something like this before I was banded, and it was a huge milestone for me. Words can't express how amazing it felt to cross that finish line. It actually brought tears to my eyes. Even before I became obese, I wouldn't have had the guts to do a half marathon. My band really has changed my life. :ohmy:

Anyone out there have a proud moment lately that you want to share?

I feel your pain with the constant pb'ing. I have the same problem, and my band is also not too tight. The reason I pb so much is because the muscle between my esophagus and my stomach does not function properly. It's suppose to work like a valve that opens to let food through then shut so the food goes down to the stomach (At least thats how it was explained to me) and my "valve" just stays open all the time. I've always had this problem it's just gotten worse with banding, especially at night when I lay down for bed. It's not acid reflux, it's literally just regurgitated food (gross, I know)

Perhaps you should check with your Dr. to see if this could be what's wrong with you. There are treatments for it including supplements and surgery.

I've started running in the last few months, and I've noticed lately that when I run I get to a certain point and my port-or the muscle surrounding my port- hurts very badly. It's a sharp shooting pain similar to a muscle cramp, but quite a bit worse. It usually sets in after the one mile mark, and I have to stop and walk and take deep breaths to make it go away.

Has anyone had this happen to them before? I think I may call my Dr. on Monday, because I'm suppose to do a half marathon next month but my port pain has been so unpredictable I'm not sure I'll be able to.

I go for 3 wks. without losing and then will drop 4-6# all at once and have been doing that almost since surgery.

This sounds exactly like me!! Usually I get so fed up after not losing weight for 3 weeks that I work out ridiculously hard for a few days and it seems to jump start weight loss, and suddenly I'm 5 or so pounds down. One month I even dropped 10 pounds like this.

Banded Sept. 24th at 235 lbs. and now I'm sitting at 199. I'm very glad that I'm in Onederland but I really thought I would be losing quicker than this. I work out a lot, and I figured since I'm young I had a faster metabolism than most. But oh well, a loss is a loss and I'm learning to accept it. I will get to my goal, it just might take me a bit longer than expected. :thumbdown:

I'm the same way, I feel thinner then I really look. Even when I look down at my body, I don't think it's that fat. But then I look at a picture and BAM! There's a Fatty staring back at me. It sucks, but I know it will get better.

Why one earth wouldn't your surgeon give you another fill?! Is it just a matter of timing (i.e., too soon since your last fill)? I would go BONKERS if my doctor weren't on board with really maximizing the potential of the tool he was willing to implant in my body.

Unfortunately, my surgeon is very conservative with fills. On my 2nd fill, when I told him I had no restriction at all and felt like I didn't even have a band, he still only gave me .5 cc's. I am afraid he will look at the weight I have lost (because I have lost about 8 lbs this month) and not think I need a fill. However, that 8 pounds has been due to exercising 60-90 minutes every day and will power. Which won't last long, obviously or else I wouldn't need the band in the first place:laugh:

I'm glad you posted this. I have the same problem and I want another fill but I'm not sure my surgeon will do it. I've also had two fills, but I only have 3.5 cc's in my 10 cc band. I'm genuinely hungry; stomach rumbling every 30 minutes. I've heard suggestions to eat more Protein and things that will keep me full so I have completely revamped my choices but still find myself constantly hungry. Any weight that I have lost to date is because I workout at least an hour every single day and I just stick it out when I'm hungry. But I know that I can't keep this up for much longer.

I also got Wii Fit Plus for Christmas, along with EA Sports Active. I must say, I love them both! I'm impressed with the workouts I get with them. They are different but each good in their own ways. In my opinion, EA Active is a little tougher, and Wii Fit is more entertaining.

I had plateaud for a couple months and was getting very frustrated. I started doing the two Wii game on Dec. 27th, and I've lost over 10 lbs. since then!

I am just over 3 months out and I am adjusting really well I think. The most difficult part is not drinking with meals, it doesn't sound like it would be too hard but for after 21 years of doing it, it's a tough habit to break. Also of course eating slower and chewing more. But other than those things, adjustment has been really easy. It doesn't affect my life at all to eat less. The only times people even notice are when I'm in a social situation centered around food. With their large portions and eating fast and my small portions and eating slow, we finish at the same time anyways.

Blaze is right you do not need the Balance Board to use Active. It is compatible with it though, so if you want to use it you can.

I sure hope my sex drive increases with weight loss. I'm only 21, my husband is 23, and we never have sex. Really, I think we have done it maybe 3 times in the last 6 months.:blushing: Oh and to top it off, we're newlyweds...just got married this year. I just don't feel like having sex when I feel like a look like a big blubbery whale, and my husband can tell that I don't enjoy it. So, it just doesn't happen.

I posted in the original thread because I didn't see this one, but count me in:smile: Maybe I can get my husband to join too; he is in the National Guard and his unit is overseas right now but he came home due to an injury...I think it'd be a great tribute to his brothers over there.

I will walk too! I'll match what you walk every day. My husband is in the National Guard, and thankfully is not deployed due to injury but his unit is, and I think it's a great way to show support for all the Men and Women risking their lives over there to protect us. I guess this is a little off topic for the thread, but hey any support helps right?

Oh and I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. I was feeling bad for plateauing for a month, but I guess it could be worse! I know you can do this!:smile2:

Leify- I hear you on those lunges! My thighs hurt so bad I can barely tie my shoes

I got EA Active for my Wii for Christmas and I decided to bust it out last night....Wow did it give me a workout!! Now...I should say that I am incredibly out of shape, but still I was impressed with it. I also have the Wii Fit and I like the Active much better. It really makes you break a sweat but keeps you interested in what you're doing and it switches it up every couple of minutes so you don't get bored. I started the 30 day challenge and it had me running, doing squats, lunges, jumps, bicep curls and arm lifts. You can also make custom workouts for yourself. I am definitely excited to see the results after the 30 days!

so what do they do to numb it???? i am going for my first fill in 4 weeks i'll let you know what they do

My Dr. just gives me a few injections of numbing medication at the site around the port

WOW has this thread gotten out of hand or what? Nobodies feelings were meant to be hurt here, and there is no reason to be sensitive.

All I meant in my post, which is what I wrote, is that I hope everything goes ok for you. plain and simple.

6 cc's seems very aggressive for your first fill, let alone any one fill at all. I hope that doesn't cause you any issues.

There is absolutely no way I could get a fill without numbing medication. My port is tilted so it takes many many tries with the needle, we're talking probably 30 tries in one sitting. I can't imagine what it would feel like without being numb.

I'm sure you can request numbing medication, I doubt you're the only patient of theirs who has experienced pain.