KimInMD

I've had an awful time with this as well. I look at size 12 and think they would never fit me. I am still shocked when they do. It's brought out some pretty strong emotions in me in awkward places, like store dressing rooms (see my journal). There is something surreal about reaching a goal that was just a pipe dream for so many years. Clothing now is definitely "vanity sized". A 12 use to be at least a 14 and sometimes even a 16. I find that in the junior department, the clothes are a little closer to "old sizing". I have not found panties to be vanity sized, which is why I need a bigger size. Also remember that most clothing now has fabric blended with lycra-like materials, so they "give" much more than they use to. As best as I can remember 15 years ago, I wore a 12 when I was about 20 pounds lighter than I am now. I guess some of us are remembering what our bodies looked like wearing "old sizing". Oh, and one other thing, my clothes don't fit the same now because of all the extra pounds of skin that hang in all the wrong places. I'm sure if it were all removed I would be a size smaller, and my clothes would fit me better. Anyone else find any of the above to be true as well?

January 24, 2008 (177) Yay! I'm back on track and losing weight again. My jeans don't feel as tight, and I feel better. Here's a new story I wanted to share... Two Sundays ago we went to Bob Evans Restaurant after church. Hubby dropped me off out front and went to park the car. The hostess seated me right away. We were walking back to the table when a man I've never met approached me. He said "Would you believe I've lost 198 pounds with gastric bypass?" I was taken aback, and said something like "that's wonderful, I'm happy for you". He went on to say something about how life changing it was, and that now he looked like John Travolta, and that he felt it was his duty to tell people his story. Clearly, the man was a bit strange, and it was definitely a strange situation. I wished him the best and the hostess seated me. I thought right away "Why me? Of all the people in that restaurant, why did he pick me? Does he only pick out heavy people he thinks the surgery could help? Am I bigger than I think?" Oh my gosh, it sent me into a tailspin. I sat at the table and my thoughts were racing. Later, the hostess came by and said "Don't worry about that man, he tells everybody his story." I'll admit, I felt better, but wow, where did these insecurities come from? How quickly the "old me" comes out. I keep hearing about the head not keeping up with the body. Here is a classic case in point. I still THINK I'm a heavy person. I don't know how long this lasts, but I can't get my head wrapped around the size I am. My lapband changed my weight, but it didn't change my head. Maintenance isn't going to only be about maintaining my weight. I've got TONS of work on me to do. I have a terrible self image. I had my fur coat cut down. It took a long time past when it was promised, and when I finally got it, I wasn't happy with it, but I still paid for it and wore it home. What's up with that? I wore it for a few days, and was finally so disgusted with it that I took it back. I cringed going in the store, and meekly explained what was wrong with the coat. The owner agreed to fix all the problems, and he made the statement "you are too nice". Bam- an AHH-HAA moment! He's right! He hit the nail on the head. I am so used to being "nice" in order to be heard. I never wanted to be the stereotypical loud, uncouth, slopply fat lady. I never wanted to be like the housekeeper on the show Two And A Half Men, or like a Roseann Barr kind of person. Attractive normal sized people get heard. My confidence in myself (or lack thereof) determines how I will be treated the rest of my life. I think it's time to start changing the "inside me".

Hello Ms. Toya! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. Wow, you are only 6 days post-op. How are you feeling? By now the worst of your discomfort should be over. As to what to cook for the next stage, think about "thick" soft stuff foods like mash potatoes, applesauce, mashed up egg salad. Use the protein drinks to help you get your proteins in. You will know how much you can eat right away. I remember it only being about a measuring cup full. I wasn't use to eating so little, and it seemed weird at first. Some people say that they can eat much more. It all has to do with how much swelling your tummy still has from the surgery, and how wide an opening your band has. Just go slow, and take little bites at first. I wasn't use to doing that. I took big bites and gulped my food. I cured myself by using a baby fork and spoon. It looked funny, but it worked. I only did this at home. Everyone's "soft stop" (the thing that tells them they are full) is different. Some say it's a sigh they make, or a feeling in their throat, or extra saliva (like when you smell a dill pickle). If I go two or three bites past my soft stop, I will be uncomfortable, and possibly throw up. The other danger for new banisters is that you don't want to eat so much that you stretch your pouch, or cause your band to slip. These few weeks are tough, I know, but they will determine how successful you will be later. My hubby would say (at first) "you're not eating enough". I tried to explain to him that that after my small dinner my tummy felt just like I had eaten a HUGE Thanksgiving dinner. It was a feeling of being stuffed and not able to eat another bite. You'll find your soft stop too. Try to define when you are REALLY hungry, and get rid of the "head hunger", or the boredom hunger, or the "it's lunch time so I have to eat" hunger, and the emotional hunger. I think all of us larger folks have some of all of the above that goes on at one time or another. Everyday, remember that NOW you are eating to live and not living to eat anymore. Blessings to you on your journey. Feel free to contact me anytime. I'll try to help you any way I can. Oh, and just check in sometime to let me know how you are doing. Kim

Greenbeans - OUCH!

Keep a note on your calendar of the times of the month you are tight and the times you are loose. See if they fall in line with your 28 day cycle. Some woman gain and lose lots of water weight, depending on your totm. If this turns out to be so, and you are tight part of the month, it will NOT be good to get a fill because you will then be too tight during that part of the month, and get yourself in trouble quickly. If you are losing a couple pounds every two weeks, then you are RIGHT ON TRACK. With the band you are suppose to lose 1-2 pounds per week. If you go for three weeks or more without losing, call your doctor for a fill consult, and take at least a 3 day food diary so that they can see what/ how much you are eating. Everyone is different regarding how often they need fills. Don't forget, weight loss is slower with the band. This is a race, not a sprint. You are doing great, and you should be proud of yourself!

I can't eat much solid food flying day and for much of the day after. I'm usually back to normal by evening the second day. I stick to soups, protein drinks and soft foods until the swelling goes down and the band loosens up. I have been banded a little over 1 1/2 years now, and scuba often. I have had NO restriction problems at all. As hubby loses weight, he will continually have to make adjustments as to how much weight to use. He will even notice his weight distribution may change. I make sure I write it all down in my log so that I have a starting point for the first dive at the next destination. For the first dive, I always have to re-adjust to find my new neutral buoyancy point. As he loses weight he'll also be changing sizes in his BCD, wet suit and yes, even fin size! Oh, and tell him don't forget to adjust his mask too! The only other thing I noticed is that I now get cold faster without as much body fat. He may find he needs to make an adjustment in the mil thickness of the suit that he normally wears, though in my opinion, guys don't seem to get cold as fast as girls do. Hope this helps! Happy diving! - Kim

I agree with you too, Anyalee. Every person ever banded has ALREADY decided that their health was more important than what others may think of them. As to the part about being "secure enough in yourself", well, I wish it were so, but in truth most obese people (myself included) have suffered from security and self esteem issues in one form or another. Every obese person, banded or not has family and friends that worry daily about our health and quality of life. That doesn't mean that all who love us are as supportive as your grandfather. They are vocal in telling us they want us to be healthier, but they also want us to use the weight loss methods THEY feel would be best for us, and many times, for whatever reason, weight loss surgery is not what they feel would be our best interest. Choosing to tell or not tell ISN'T always rooted in our self esteem. It is about making a calculated choice based on the past relationship we've had with particular individual and their reactions to us regarding a variety of past issues. It's true that we can only guess what an individual's support will be when and if we share our news with them, but we are all smart enough to know that a person's past behavior is usually the best indicator of their future reaction and support.

I've seen a couple different covers on lady's magazines lately with headlines like "They lost 200 pounds WITHOUT SURGERY. Find out their secrets". I've seen commercials for episodes on Doctor Phil, Oprah and others with the same type of message. It sends the message that in order to be considered a success, you have to do it on your own the "old fashioned way". I totally agree that society does NOT view WLS as a valid way to lose the extra pounds. Many people feel the same lazy, sloppy, undisciplined people who overate and got fat are now taking the easy way out to get control over their lives. It's just validation to them that we ARE exactly what they believed us to be all along.

Hello Allheart! Sorry for the rough start, but it sounds like you are doing much better now. I'm glad you posted. I've wondered how you were doing. Sorry I'm no help w/ knowing of support groups near you. Maybe other Maryland banders will join in with sugestions. Molly, this year I am going to get the last 20 pounds off. Losing weight is only half the battle. The one new thing will be learning to maintain the weight loss. It's easier said than done!

I was banded 20 months ago (size 26), and chose to tell very few people. After the first 50 pounds, everyone began to ask what diet I was using. My standard answer was "The My Daughter's Getting Married And I'm In The Pictures Diet." Everyone would chuckle, and empathize regardless of their size. It was a great way to deflect uncomfortable questions and turn their attention elsewhere. Well, the wedding was this past April. By then I was down 74 pounds (size 18). I was not yet at goal (I'm still not), but I was well on my way. In the past few weeks I have seen a number of people at Christmas parties that I had not seen since the wedding. I am now a size 12, and down 110 pounds. While I admit I HAVE received many nice complements, you would not believe the things others have said to me. I heard "Don't you dare lose any more weight, you're perfect right now." Huh? Isn't that for me and my doctor to decide? Two different people said "I thought you'd start to gain again after the wedding, but gee, you lost more". Wow, I think there's a compliment in there somewhere. One women watched me like a hawk at dinner last night to see what and how much I was eating. She even called to me from across the long banquet table to ask me what I was ordering for dinner. It was so uncomfortable. As I left the party, two said something along the lines of "you look great, now don't start gaining it back again!". Hmmm, don't lose weight. Don't gain weight. Everyone's got unsolicited advise and opinions for me whether I told them about my surgery or not. I don't think their comments were meant to be mean spirited. The fact is, some people just say what others may be thinking, but are afraid to say. I know now that some people who were supportive of my weight loss still expect that I will gain the weight back. My point is, deciding who to tell, and what to say or not say about your surgery is one of the decisions you have to make early on. But the truth is, in the end it doesn't really matter whether they know or not. Because of the dramatic changes in your weight, they WILL comment to you and about you, offering you their unsolicited advise and opinions. I guess shortgal's comments are right "We have been judged our whole life and then we do this and we will still be judged.... for not losing fast enough, or losing too much, or eating too much, or not eating enough!". Sadly, sometimes this happens whether you have chosen to share your WLS journey with others or not.

Hi Susan- Welcome to the boards! You don't have long to wait. This time next year you will be a different person. Molly- I wondered where you've been. You're doing GREAT! I think we all struggle w/ the holidays. I say if I can just maintain I'll be happy. Gosh it's hard w/ parties, Cookies, rich foods and Desserts. I'm staying close to the scale. You still have a couple of weeks till your appointment. You'll know by then about the fill. I'm also going in for a small fill the first part of Jan. from 1.5 to maybe 1.7 Can't do it till Jan. though because I'll be flying, and I always get tight when I fly. It's not good to be away from home and find out you're too tight.

Only three more days, Allheart! How are you holding up?

Hi Brandi! Welcome to the boards. You can find so much support here, and LBT is a great resource for getting your questions answered. Once you go for your consult appointment, you will have so many things to do to get ready that it will be February before you know it. Let us know if we can help in any way or if you need to talk.:cell:

1. I can tie my shoes without losing my breath! 2. My eyes don't shut when I smile! 3. My big hips have less bruises! 4. I can feel my bones! 5. I can see my feet! 6. I can wear an underwire bra! 7. I can run! 8. I can feel my muscles! 9. I can see my cheek bones! 10. I can walk much further without getting tired! 11. I can cross my legs! 12. I look younger ( I got carded twice in one week!) 13. I can shave my legs in the shower! 14. I Have Dimples In My Cheeks.....they Are Coming Thru! I Can See Them! Now, As For The Dimples In My Butt!!! I Hope I Will One Day Never See Them!!! 15. I can get out of the bathtub without 911 on speed dial! 16. I can bend over and..... GET BACK UP! 17. I can shop......anywhere! 18. I have so much energy especially after I exercise! 19. I can bend down without getting out of breath! 20. I'm more flexible during sex! 21. My big bow hips have went down more than 20 inches! 22. Men are turning their heads constantly! 23. My face is so much thinner and prettier! 24. I have collar bones! 25. The fat from my back is disappearing! 26. I feel so good! 27. I'm starting to like what I see more and more! 28. I have a Fricking Rib cage and can feel it! 29. I fit comfortably in an airline seat! 30. I can ride all of the rollercoasters I want! Whee! 31. I can curl up in a chair with my knees up like a little kid. <!-- google_ad_section_end -->32. I can give myself a nice pedicure. 33. I don't have to wear a wide shoe anymore. 34. Boots fit over my calf and knee high socks don't cut into my leg anymore<!-- google_ad_section_end -->

Wait till you are almost at goal to get it resized. I rolled a piece of cloth band aide on mine until even that didn't work anymore. I was going to resize, and hubby said he was so proud of his "new wife" that he bought me a whole new wedding set. Now I'm thin- AND sparkley! If your heirloom ring is big, stop wearing it for awhile until it's time to get it sized. It's sad not to wear it, but it's better than losing it because it's too big.

That's a size smaller than you were last month! Congratulations!!! :whoo:

Well, this is one New Year's resolution you WILL be keeping! I can't think of a better way to start a new year than to work on a new YOU! Your Christmas will be kind of different this year, but honey, by next Christmas you will you will be looking hot. Hmm, two weeks from tomorrow. That's not long to have to wait. I'm excited for you! Keep in touch!

Hi Sarah! Welcome to the boards! How did your doctor visit go? Let me know if I can answer any specific questions. My lap band journey link is below. It pretty much tells everything (the good and the bad) about how things have gone for me. This surgery is the BEST thing I have ever done for me. Welcome Mary! I loved it when you said that lap band is a marathon and not a sprint. That is so true! I think there are lots of people out there who think they will see the results instantly like the gastric bypass patients, and then become discouraged when the weight comes off slowly. I have been at this for 20 months now, and I still have 20 more pounds to lose. I think losing slowly has helped me make permanent lifestyle changes. It has also helped my head to catch up with my body. Thinking like a thin person is really tough for alot of banders. I am still struggling with this, though it is getting better than it was. Only a few weeks ago I was waiting in line to use the ladies room. When it was my turn, I felt anxious because the next open stall was not the handicap one. I hesitated for a few moments, and then finally thought "oh yeah, I can fit in a regular stall now". I do that kind of thing all the time! Welcome AllHeart! Welcome! Let us know when you get your band date! Hi Corrine! We just moved last year from Granite (near Randalstown) to Lutherville, so we did live near each other. December 21st is right around the corner. You're going to do great, though your Christmas dinner this year isn't going to be very yummy. By spring you will have lost a few sizes, and Christmas dinner will be long forgotten. Keep in touch and let us know how things are going.

Tina, your children are so blessed to have such a wonderful mom. Soon your children will have to run to catch up with you! You are doing so great on your journey. :whoo: G.- Welcome! I'm glad you joined us. You were just banded in July. You've already lost 44 pounds! Oh my gosh, you are doing GREAT. I think we all wish the weight would come off quickly, but the truth is, we didn't get that way overnight, and we aren't going to lose the weight overnight either. You should be so proud of yourself right now. I think you are doing awesome. :clap2: Hey everybody, what is your strategy to make it through the holidays? At this point, I'll be happy if I just maintain my weight.

Molly, In the beginning I think everyone is afraid of failure and that the band won't work for them. I was so afraid that I told NO ONE I was banded. I can't speak for everyone, but food really isn't such a big issue for me anymore. As soon as I was unfilled all the way, the obsessions started again (and NO, it wasn't just psychological). When I was refilled, the obsessions stopped again. For the first time in my life, I can control the eating, and it doesn't control ME. That doesn't mean I don't crave certain things that aren't good for me, because I STILL do. I am just content now to have a few bites of cake (or whatever), and then push it away. As to my strategy when I reach goal, I honestly never thought about it before. I guess I keep hoping my body will find it's set point. I've read that somewhere around your goal weight you just stop losing. Strategy- hmmm, I guess I need to look into that. As to your support group meeting question, I know that our doctor's office can help you with that. Although I don't post much, I visit the boards here a few times a week. I have gotten such education and inspiration by reading the posts. I never went to the support groups because I feel I have had every question and issue answered here. Molly, your stamina will return. Gee girl, take it easy. (Painting 2 ceilings?) You aren't even 3 weeks post op yet! Tina, I would like to try Water aerobics too. Swimming is my favorite exercise. It's harder to get outside now that it's winter. You are right though, we can and WILL do this! Keep up the good work.

Hi Molly! I am Dr. Averbach's patient, banded at St. Agnes also. I too have wondered where all the Maryland folks are. It looks like you are doing well with your band! I'm here if you want to chat.

Remember that not everyone gets tight when they fly, but I know there are a number of threads/posts where people say they do. I can't speak for everyone, but I think the stress of travel adds to normal altitude tightness. Did I pack everything? Do I have all my documents and gear? etc. To answer your question, I don't "feel" anything. I just notice that I can't eat much solid food flying day and for much of the day after. I'm usually back to normal by evening the second day. I stick to soups, protein drinks and soft foods until the swelling goes down and the band loosens up. You have so many new and exciting things to look forward to! Best wishes on your upcoming wedding and your banding. You'll have to share a wedding photo with all of us! Oh, and a trip to Spain sounds WONDERFUL too! My hubby and I are headed off diving in 3 weeks, but nothing as exciting as Spain! In my pre-band days, I was using 21-22 pounds of weight. Last trip (in the summer) I was using 16 pounds. I am most sure I"ll be able to drop another pound. After this trip I've got to get some new gear, and a thicker suit - BRRRR!

Hi Heather! I have been banded 1 1/2 years now, and scuba often. I have had NO restriction problems at all. I am a little tight for a day or two after flying to a destination, but have had no underwater issues. As you lose weight, you will continually have to make adjustments as to how much weight to use. You will even notice your weight distribution may change. I make sure I write it all down in my log so that I have a starting point for the first dive at the next destination. The first dive I always have to re-adjust to find my new neutral buoyancy point. As you lose weight you'll also be changing sizes in your BCD, wet suit and yes, even fin size! Oh, and don't forget to adjust your mask too! The only other thing I noticed is that I now get cold faster without as much body fat. You may find you need to make an adjustment in the mil thickness of the suit that you normally wear. Hope this helps! Happy diving! - Kim :ip:

Hi Brandi! I think you'll be pleased w/ Averbach and Singh. I was banded by Dr. Averbach 15 months ago. I hope things go well with your paperwork and appointments, so that you can join us in "bandland" very soon. :whoo: -Kim

Congrats on all of your hard work. You give us all hope that we might someday join you there!