TXAmy07

I survived my first day back at work!!! It's not like I was in the trenches, digging up sewer lines or anything - I was sitting in the AC in my office all day doing super important marketing stuff. But still, I survived.

I am actually not as tired as I thought I would be! I was a little tired during the first half of the day, but then instinct kind of kicked in and I woke up some and finished out the day. I even stayed until 5 and didn't try to sneak out early as I sometimes do! Go me.

The hunger is still there, but I have kind of started trying to ignore it. It dawned on me that I had this same issue when I started the pre-op diet! I was tired and grumpy and starving and wanted to die, but then after a few days my mind was like, "oh. ok guess whining wont work" and it accepted things for the way they are, and was grateful for the food I DID eat. Maybe that's the same thing here??

I go back for my post-op on Thursday, and I am wondering what Dr. A is going to say about my incisions. He used skin glue and it's now starting to come off....... I have no idea if that's supposed to happen! I don't mess with it on purpose, BUT the other night I woke up scratching at one of them. Hehe. Whoops. They don't hurt or anything, so I guess the one that's completely uncovered and the other 2 that are half way uncovered (the port one is one!) are ok the way they are.

Ahh well, I'm off to bed to fight the good fight another day!

So, like probably 75% (I totally made up that statistic FYI) of the country, I am a reward eater.

Promotion at work? Let's go eat fajitas!

Daughter gets straight A's? Let's go have pizza!

Random Thursday night? Let's go out and enjoy a nice burger!

Imagine my sadness when yesterday was Mother's Day, and I fondly remembered last year - hanging with a couple of friends and my family at our favorite Mexican food place.

It's just another step though, toward the NEW ME. I couldn't go out to dinner because I can only have liquids, and it sucks but... is that such a good reward? Isn't a nice card and a candle even better? I'd actually rather have that. Now, a year ago I wouldn't say that! But now, Mother's Day 2009... it's hard, but it's okay. This is the new me, the new lifestyle I have chosen, and it's one I will have to keep.

Physically I feel better. Gas pain is gone, stomach soreness is mostly gone. I am sleeping on my sides with no problem. The hunger sucks - big time! But... not much I can do about that. I am way too terrified to "cheat" on this phase (and I wont) for fear of not healing correctly.

My hunger and little pangs of sadness from not being able to have my favorite Mexican food was sort of in the shadow today though, as we dealt with some major plumbing issues with the house. Hopefully we have it fixed (crossing fingers) and so maybe it was a good distraction..........

Yesterday I got a tiny bit hungry, and so I had some yogurt with protein mix in it, and then later some chicken broth. That seemed to ease things.

But this morning..... I woke up STARVING! It was like my stomach woke up and said "hey! it's been 3 1/2 days since there's been anything in here! what's up??". I had pudding for breakfast, and I was full before I finished the little cup. I thought, "yay!". Then 45 minutes later... starving again! I waited until lunch and then had chicken broth, which again helped. For a little bit. The thought of more protein mix in yogurt or milk makes me feel BLAH but I am going to go for it in a little bit. I am headed back to work the day after tomorrow, and I think I will go get unflavored protein mix.

I am not super sore any more though, that's the good news. It just feels like I did a big stomach work out at the gym, and I can deal with that. The gas pain is almost all the way gone.

Only 10 more days of clear liquids! I can do it!

In order to remind me that it's not ALL about me, my house decided to act up and have a plumbling problem. That rocks... It's a Saturday, too. Nothing like having to call the city on a weekend day. Hopefully it will be a problem in their end instead of ours and we wont have to hire a plumber.

Huh, with the plumbling problems, for a few minites I forgot all about the growling golf-ball that is inside of me and begging for food.

Oh, I am down 10 lbs from before surgery, for a total of 50 lbs since this past January. Only 115 left to goal!

My mom left today, which was a little sad for me. I know she didn't have a very fun visit - she spent the whole time trying to help me or cleaning my house/working out in my yard. That makes me feel a little bad, especially considering Mother's Day is this weekend plus her birthday is a little after that but... I know if it was my daughter I'd do the same with no second thoughts.

But having said that... it is kind of nice to be alone! I can do my own thing, walk by myself, take a nap when I am tired, and not have someone coming in asking questions such as, "where is the liquid soap to refill this dispenser?" (love you Ma!).

I still have intense gas pains and can still feel it moving around in my back, but it seems like every day - and even every hour, things start to feel better. I feel even more human that I have since this whole thing started. Last night I was able to turn onto my side, which helped! I am not a back sleeper AT all and I think that made things a little worse, that at first I could just lay on my back.

I think my biggest problem was just not knowing what to expect. I thought I had done my research and knew everything that would happen, but I think looking back my research was more on the diet and the workings of the band, and not the ACTUAL SURGERY. I have only had one other surgery and I was 5 or 6 when that was done (tonsils removed). I never knew about all the gas and how much it hurts and how much all of it knocks you out.

I think had I been more prepared, I would have felt a lot more at ease. Instead I was left with so much discomfort that I kept thinking "what have I done to myself?". I was very down on the surgery, down on my decision, and disappointed that it had come to that.

But, knowing that today was even better than yesterday gives me comfort that tomorrow will be just the same!

Today I feel BETTER. I am actually less sore, but still have the gas. I can feel it in my back, of all places... which makes it hard to lay down on my back. I have been walking once down my street today and I am about to go back out once I finish this. If I could just get the gas to go away, I'd feel so much better! My stomach is still pretty sore but I can tell it's better from yesterday already.

I am taking gas-x - the one that melts on your tongue but it's kind of gross and I hate taking it. I still have not taken pain meds. I have skin glue, so he said I could take a shower today - which I did. It helped make me feel more "human" but by the time I got out of the shower I was completely exhausted. I have zero energy, and walking, showering, even standing wears me out so quickly. It's unreal.

All in all, I am feeling a lot more positive about things today. I am still sipping water, not very interested in any kind of food.

Once I get the gas to go away I will be so much better!

I like to read the longer, more detailed stories so I know EXACTLY what's going to happen, and so that's what I think I will write now.

So...

I got to the hospital at 5:15 am for my check in. They took me to a room, gave me the sexy hospital gown, took my vitals, asked me a ton of questions such as, "are you pregnant?"... Then came the shot. I told her that I heard it hurts, and she said "no way, look at the needle! it's tiny!". I admitted that yes, it WAS in fact little and thin and how could that hurt? She gave it to me in the stomach and then said, "see that wasn't bad!". I agreed! She turned to walk out and by the time she got to the door I was doubled over in pain. It wasn't the NEEDLE, it was the actual medicine (heprin, to prevent blood clotting) that hurts! But good news, it didn't hurt for too long. Maybe about 5-10 minutes.

After a little bit they came and got me and took me down to the pre-op room, where I met the anesthegiologist. She said I have terrible veins (thanks Mom) and she had to use a baby needle to get an IV going. She said "don't worry, when you wake up you will have a second one, this is just to put you to sleep... I'll give you a better one for the meds but it would hurt too much to do it awake". (hmm, don't worry, eh) The surgeon came in and said hello, gave me some post-op instructions and then they both left to get ready. My OR nurse Jill came over and introduced herself and then complimented my little stuffed frog that I had with me. My daughter told me to take it for good luck, and it's her prized loved worn out little frog. I told Jill that, and she said, "tell you what - I'll let you take him into the OR with you then since he's so special". Awww! So, Little Froggy went to surgery with me. :thumbdown:

A few minutes later they took me down to the OR, and then that's when everything got cold and busy. There were 80 million people walking around in the freezing OR, doing 39 million things. Someone was putting a "seat belt" (what he called it) over me, someone was putting my arm on a board to tie it down or something, they were talking about getting some feet boards to tilt the bed where I'd be leaning up during surgery (!)... Someone said "I just gave you something to make you sleepy" and that's THE last thing I remember. Suddenly I was in the recovery room and WOW, the big incision (port) HURT. I felt like I couldn't even talk though... there was so much going on in that room, several other people that were coming out of surgery too, and my nurse was helping this lady who had eye surgery and it was her 69th birthday. She came over after a minute and asked me some questions, what my pain was (I think I said 8), gave me some morphine, the surgeon came over and said some stuff to me... I remember the one thing I was really flipping out over was the things on my legs that prevent blood clotting. WOW. I was hot and sweating all over, and these things on my legs that they put on during surgery were pressing all over the place and they kept tightening and loosening and they felt plastic. The very first thing I said was, "I dont want to do this any more" and someone laughed and said "too late, you are done!" and then I asked for my boyfriend and they said he couldn't come in until I was out of recovery... THEN I said "what is this on my legs?? It's so hot in here" and they took them off and said "oh wow, they are soaking wet - you're sweating!". Someone got a big box fan and turned it right on me and yay, I was so happy! Fan + morphine = YES!

She gave me another shot of morphine, and I chilled there for a bit. I started to feel more human and become more aware of things, such as the old lady they were yelling at to stop bending her knees. LOL! I guess she had surgery on her knees but they said "we're going to take you back to the OR if you don't quit!" and she was yelling about how it hurt, etc. MAN that got annoying. Luckily I faded in and out, and finally it was time to go back to my room. I kept trying to make myself wake up some and feel better because I knew they'd let me leave there if I tried. Sure enough!

Radiology was not ready for me yet, because they didn't think I'd recover that quickly (it wasn't even fast... my surgery was over at about 8:20ish and this was at 10am) and so I had to go back to my room I was in first thing in the morning. I was never so happy to be back in there with my mom and boyfriend! (As a side note, I remember as I was waking up in recovery someone saying, "what is this frog" and someone else said "that's her daughters, he was in the OR with her" - that made me happy)

So we chilled for a bit, then they came at 10:30 to go down to radiology. I had to swallow this gross chalk stuff while they did x-rays. I asked to see, and they showed me my band, my "new stomach", the port, etc. It was cool! The only super uncool thing was having to move back and forth from the bed to the xray bed and back. THAT sucked but they said take your time, so I did just that. My stomach was so sore that it was hard to move. I also had to turn on my left and then right side for another xray, which sucked too. After a few minutes the doctor looked at the xrays and cleared me and they took me back up to my room.

Then I got juice! I was soooo thirsty that I couldn't have been more excited about the juice. But then came the bad news. It made me feel SO sick. I had them get water, and that was way better. I think the juice was just too sweet.

The nurse said in order to leave and go home I had to drink a certain amount and keep it down, I had to go to the bathroom a certain amount, and the bariatric coordinator for the hospital had to come in and talk to me. That was motiviation!! I could only drink a medicine cup of water every 5 minutes, which was so weird - but they said my stomach is the size of a golf ball! That kind of freaked me out.

I started feeling pretty sick when I stood up to go to the bathroom and I thought I was going to throw up - I started dry-heaving, and the nurse went and got me something for that. It helped some but it was a slow fix.

I just kind of chilled out for a couple of hours, drinking water, going to the bathroom, sitting in the chair... dozing off some.

Then the coordinator came in and started going through this HUGE packet of information. I mean seriously?? I was EXHAUSTED and feeling sick and she was talking all about eating and chocolate flavored calcium pills and oh man, it was just way too much. They should have her come before the surgery. At one point she said, "don't get bored, I am just telling you this stuff because you need to know it all". I wasn't bored, I was tired! That kind of annoyed me, but finally she was done and she left. Whew!

They said the last thing I had to do was walk with that coordinator down the hall and back to make sure I was okay and then they'd let me go. We did that, and she asked how I felt. I said still a little sick, very sore, and very tired. She said the gas is what makes you sick and the best way to get it out is to walk. I didn't know this, but when you walk around the gas gets absorbed in your body. Otherwise it just sits there until you can "pass" it.

So we got done with our walk, she cleared me, and I go to go home! My surgery was at 7:15am and I left at 2:30.

I felt pretty dang bad when I got home. I kept thinking, WHAT did I do this for? I took some stuff for my stomach, and that helped some. I was so sore that I couldn't walk much, and I am sure the gas was just building up inside me.

I was almost regretful of what I had done but I got reassurance from another MAYO BANDITO, Bethany. She reminded me that some think the gas is the worst part of it all, and some do regret doing it for that reason. Just to know that the feelings I was feeling were normal helped me so much. So, thanks again Bethany!

I guess that's it! That's my story. I want to always remember how it went and how I felt so that I can motivate myself to make this work! I will be a happy person if I never have to go into an OR again. :cursing:

I think that is why I am glad I am also doing a 30-day pre-op diet. Mine is very similar to yours.

We are all human and we get to make mistakes and this is the perfect time to do that: the PRE-op diet. Don't beat yourself up too much. You are right - tomorrow is another day!