derbygirl

I think there are a few reasons why he's acting this way: 1. He is scared you'll leave him when you're thinner. 2. He wants to lose weight too but is scared to have surgery. 3. He likes you the way you are and doesn't want you to change. I don't have any advice for you because I think before you can address the problem, you have to find out exactly what he's thinking. You may need professional help with him, but it sounds like he wouldn't go if you asked him to go. What about a friend who is close to both of you? Maybe they can get him to open up and fill you in on what he's thinking.

I am starting to do this same thing. My problem, I believe, is that I want to sample everything. For instance, I had Mexican food last night with my parents. They wanted queso to start with. Since I was hungry, I had maybe three chips with a little queso. I drank some Water after this because I had already ordered my main course. Then came my fajitas. I ate one and I was "full". But I REALLY WANTED some sopapillas afterward!! I didn't get them, but I soooo wanted to taste them. I want to sample it all, but you can't just order a tiny bit and once it's in front of you, it's hard to stop because even though you're satisfied, you're not stuffed like you used to feel when you pigged out pre-band. When I'm at home, cooking for myself, I don't have this problem, but I do still crave sweets in-between meals a lot. While I don't keep sweets in the house, I find myself stopping for treats a lot more than I should--like daily. I'm worried I'm not going to be able to fight this urge my entire life or even long enough to get remotely close to my close. My band is almost full...9 ccs out of 10...and I have a long way to go. I have tried talking to a psych. and she was useless. She basically told me to "just stop." I couldn't believe I paid her $100 an hour for that advice. I really need ideas for something sweet that won't sabotage me.

Holy cow, JC! Tylenol PM knocks me out for a day and a half.

I paid $15,000 in Dallas/Ft. Worth. Includes a year of follow-up and fills. Adam Smith. He's excellent. If you need to finance, I suggest Capital One and CareCredit--both provide loans for medical.

Hi everyone! Today's my birthday!!! I confess that I am eating cake and ice cream while I type this. Bad girl, I know, I know, but it's only once a year, right? JC, I am so sorry to hear you're having so many problems right now. Have you tried taking anything to sleep? Liquid Nyquil is good--doesn't make me groggy the next day, and within 30 minutes of taking it, I'm out. Chrispy, sounds like Mike is a keeper. There are quite a few newbies this week! Hello to everyone. Smilin' Apple, I have some a liquid diet before the surgery. Here's what I used: HMR - Official Site - Diet, Weight-Loss and Weight-Management Leader

I have a question for everyone who's had this surgery. How long did you need help after the surgery? I live alone and will need to ask someone to stay with me. Is a day or two enough?

JC, that all sounds very cool. Will you have to drive to a destination to begin the route? I'm confused--was the surgery to fix the slip or to remove the kidney stone? Or did you pass the stone? I hope it's not still in there--those are so painful. I can't imagine having both problems at once. I really hate to hear that they might remove the band. Seems like since you've made it past this episode, they'd let you continue with it. Keep us posted. Chrispy, sounds like things are going really well with Mike. He might just think you had your gall bladder removed or something. You're going to tell him you're banded when he asks, right?

Try not to cheat on the diet. If your liver is too fatty when they open you up, they might not band you and you will lose a lot of money.

Ohmigosh, JC...that's so scary. I'm glad you're okay!! Denise, I saw that episode and it freaked me out a little bit.

Bumping this topic because I had to search, like, 20 minutes to find it today. Sorry, Leona, no ideas here. But I think I would just go without the spanx or whatever it is you're wearing. If you're gettin' it on, he's gonna see you in all of your glory anyway, right?

Congrats, Vintage! I have PCOS as well, but I'll be honest. I haven't paid much attention to it the last couple of years before being banded. I was on Metformin, but after a year or two even that and birth control pills didn't keep my cycle regular. I just gave up and quit caring. I quit caring about a lot before being banded. Anyway, since being banded my cycles are normal about 80% of the time. I don't take any medication. I was diagnosed as diabetic right before surgery, but I'm no longer testing as a diabetic. I don't know if that means I'm still a diabetic or not. I would ask my doc, but she's a friggin idiot and I just dumped her about a week ago.

I didn't have a lot of control over "who knew" about my surgery. Every person in my office knew I had lap band when I returned to work the week after surgery. I only told one person and that was only because she was in charge of our insurance and vacation/sick time. And I told her not to tell. I was pretty ticked at her to say the least because, like many of you, I had no intentions of telling people. My co-workers knew before most of my family as it turned out. She even told one of my friends who had quit and moved a couple hundred miles away--and I was looking forward to telling her. I also found that my mom (who took care of me after surgery) couldn't keep her mouth shut, so even though I didn't tell hardly anyone...everyone knows! JC, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels alone "out in the real world." That said, I've adjusted pretty well. I knew when I started this that I would be doing it alone. I have had friends and family attempt to sabotage my dieting efforts in the past. So, I'm keeping my head up. I write in my journal a lot and I've grown to really love my lap band support group every Tuesday, even though we are a relatively small group and most of the people are considerably older than me. Chrispy, if your surgeon has a support group meeting, you might check it out for single guys. There's a big support group meeting in Fort Worth (about 25 miles from me)--I've heard about 100 people show up. (This may have been an exaggeration on someone's part, but it still sounds promising.) I haven't been because it's inconvenient for me, but I have considered reworking my schedule so I can check it out. The nurse told me that a lot of them go out together after the meeting. That reminds me, the nurse also invited me to come talk at the support group meeting! I declined (I'm shy), but I was flattered to be asked. What's everyone here into besides Harry Potter? What types of music, movies, etc.? Any unusual hobbies? Any spelunkers? Bingo champions? Ghost hunters? HEY! That reminds me. Anyone watch Ghost Hunters this past week? That show about the Tate house was CREEPY!!! I was impressed! :car:

I was anxious when I got to eat real food again, too. I was scared it was going to come back up because so many people here on this board have trouble eating certain foods. It turns out I can eat anything without problem, but in the beginning you never know. Also, about 2-3 weeks after surgery, I fell into a pretty deep depression. I have often struggled with depression, but this was different because I had every reason to be happy but I wasn't. And I was crying at the drop of a hat. This only lasted maybe a week, but it was a pretty big deal. I didn't go to work for a couple of days even because I was really on the edge.

I am in Texas.

I have told a guy I've been dating on and off for years about the band and he does not "get it" at all. In fact, I find that most people don't get it, including people really close to me that I confide in all the time. It's annoying. I often feel like this is the only place I can talk openly and honestly without being judged. Either people think the band is no big deal and they don't understand that you've had to make a huge, stressful lifestyle change. Or they think it qualifies me for a freak show. Or they get annoyed when I get upset over losing "only 5 pounds" in a month and get in my face about how they only lost 2. I'm starting to think that I should be looking for someone banded because nobody understands me. Plus, then we could share an entree! LOL

I can imagine how frustrating that was, Gayle. Glad to hear it disappeared as fast as it appeared. Are you still on pain meds Oh, also, how did your doc document your balance issue? Did you fall down at some point? I never thought about bringing this up with my doc because I knew there was nothing she could do, but I can't change half of the lightbulbs at my house because they require a tall ladder and I just can't balance well enough to trust them.

I didn't have those thoughts at all. I was so excited to have it done. Was I scared of dying on the table? Yes. But I didn't care. If you are having second thoughts, I think you SHOULD wait.

I've found that pizza is relatively easy because it rakes a really long time to eat it. It will take you two or three times as long to eat one piece of pizza. My nieces were over this weekend. The seven year old ate 3 pieces in the time I ate one. And you will be full when you're done, too. You won't feel deprived. My biggest problem is that it bothers me to spend money and then eat only half of what's on my plate. The leftovers are never as good, and most of the time I never want to eat the leftovers and they go to waste anyway. I wish there was a fast food restaurant that served mini dishes. You can always get the kids burger, but it's rarely as good. The meat isn't even the same most of the time...or the bun...or the condiments/sauces. It's just not as good.

Gayle, I'm so excited to hear about your progress! So are you in the 100's now (did you update your numbers are the bottom of your sig)?

Boston chic, there's no reason to tell your date you are banded until you know them a little better. Or anyone else for that matter. Who cares what other people think. If you have a serious weight issue, the lapband is a wonderful life-long solution. Karla, I'm not that close to my goal. The ticker on my sig line reflects a short-term goal, actually. I wanted to be a certain weight by my birthday, but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen. That's okay though because I never dreamed I would come so far so fast.

Chrispy, I'm really excited for you. Can't wait to hear more about the new guy. Do you have another date planned yet?

My lapband was not covered, but I was told this week that my insurance company does cover the panniculectomy. Here's what I was found out: The reason my band was not covered was because any type of weight loss program/surgery is excluded, however the pannicultectomy is NOT for weight loss (even though you will drop a few pounds). Also, excess skin is not considered a "complication" of the surgery. There are multiple codes for pannus removal, so I would try to find a plastic surgeon who specializes in plastic surgery after weight loss, as they will be more familiar with the insurance problems patients like us face. I am very excited that mine will be covered. I do have to show medical necessity but with as large as mine is it will be no problem. Also, if you want to PREVENT rashes, try antipersperant (sp?) right after your shower in the morning. Apply liberally. I have found that it makes a world of difference. There's also a product called Body Glide, but I have never tried it as I have not found it in stores. I believe it's only available on the net or possibly a specialty store.

JC: :eyebrows: Just kiddin'...hehe. That is a great point, NeverAgain. I don't feel like I have enough "me" time since surgery. Losing weight takes a lot of time and effort. If I had to work on a relationship right now, I really don't think I could keep up with everything else. I got GREAT news today!! I'm so excited! I called my insurance company and they will pay for my panniculectomy! It's about $8K, so I am very happy because I don't know how I could have done it on my own since I'm still recovering from paying for the band myself. Anyway, this news has really inspired me to get on the ball. This hasn't been a bad journey, but I'm ready for it to end regardless! I want my new life!!!!!! ________________

I watch Big Medicine, too. I love it. JC, congrats! How exciting! Is there a reward for when you reach goal? Chrispy, I'm sorry about your friend but excited about the new guy. Keep us posted. Not much happening here this week. The scales aren't budging!

I didn't tell my extended family or friends about the surgery for a few months, but eventually I did and I'm glad. They have given me a lot of support and encouragement. It is tapering off now, but that is to be expected.