LifeStartsNow

I read the article today in the magazine and I liked it. I think it makes a lot of sense and reinforces the point that we have to watch our intake. I KNOW I definitely 'reward' myself when working out sometimes b/c I feel like I worked so hard or that it will be ok b/c I burned it off. I also like the point he makes - that when you sit all day (like I do in my office job) and then go work out - I'm not burning any more calories than someone who is active all day and doesn't work out. I've also noticed how TIRED I am after working out - b/c I work out hard to get those calories burned - and then I end up being lazy afterwards b/c I guess I think its ok b/c I worked so hard. The article points out - as previously mentioned in the above posts - is that we need to be active all day and not 'reward' ourselves or make consuming 'OK' just because we worked out. I've seen that in myself and now realize it after reading this article. Now I need to figure out how to be more active in my desk job and stop killing myself on the treadmill and hating every minute of it. I need to work out hard, but not as hard as I have b/c then I hate it/dread it (so long as I'm being more active throughout the day). It makes me stop and realize that I need to re-think things in my own life. :thumbup:

Bernadette? How are you doing? I'm hoping you're doing better. Update us please! :smile:

I do have a tougher time in the a.m. But I also find that if I happen to go a long time without eating (like you do overnight) it almost always gets stuck no matter what it is. Like tonight, I ate one bite of a soft cinnamon roll and it got stuck. I came home starving and just grabbed one bite and chewed well. But - it was too late. I can't wait to hear how you are after your third fill - I'm just like you - I'm able to eat way more than I should but I still have issues with things getting stuck even though I'm careful - but if I eat a little bit - slowly - I end up able to eat way too much...... Please keep me posted!

Congrats to you!!! That's SO MUCH hard work paying off! I am inspired by your exercise routine - I know that's what makes the difference and seeing yours motivates me to make myself do more! I am really impressed with your weight loss! Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conetha - that's exactly how I feel when I try to eat a lean Protein meal at lunch. What is up with that foamy saliva? :grouphug:. Anyway - I'm so sorry to hear you didn't get a fill - but I'm worried if you get another fill - the gag reflex you're experiencing only will get worse. Are you consuming enough calories? When I have those stuck episodes, I end up drinking Protein shakes and soft foods, and actually eating too many calories, which I know will stall my weight loss. Its amazing how many more calories I consume 'drinking' them or eating mushy foods! SillyGoose - how are you doing? How are you holding up avoiding night eating? Also my biggest problem. I need to eat a bigger Breakfast since that should curb my night eating. Outside of that, going to bed early and hungry or distracting myself with an activity outside the house is the only thing that is working for me at night. A thinner me! 30lbs!!??!!!! That's AMAZING!!!! I cannot wait to be able to say that! That's really some hard work paying off. That's inspiring. How many clothes sizes are you down as a result of that fantastic weight loss?

Hey Fab - Its terrible to hear that your sister will have to sell her house. And you're right, 54 is simply too young to lose someone. My father died from skin cancer at 55, also too young, and for me one of the hardest things was when my mom sold the house we grew up in and moved. I felt like I would lose memories never seeing that home again. But I didn't. Money issues on top of losing someone is just a lot to bear. I will say a little prayer for your sister - my heart goes out to her. As for things getting stuck. I get things stuck - no matter what it is but it doesn't always last long! Lean proteins - chicken, tuna, the things we're supposed to be eating are the worst. Soft stuff - the things we're NOT supposed to be eating - of course - no problem! I'm chewing thoroughly - and all of that - but it still gets stuck. Then after about anywhere from 15-35 mins, it goes away (clearly it goes down and I'm INSTANTLY better - and hungry!). So just eating what I'm supposed to is painful and yucky. Then later that evening - at home - NO PROBLEMS. I'm able to eat almost anything I want. So I have restriction at bfast, lunch, but none at dinner. Then I tend to overeat at dinner b/c I've barely eaten all day. I realize also, its not just hunger. I miss eating the healthy things I love - so I over eat.

Big mama is shrinking - I have to agree with the person who said how positive you are and your post to trekker is what we all need from time to time. Sometimes people don't take the time to do that. YOU are great! Trekker - I lost 8 lbs - in the liquid diet before surgery - and I've only lost 8 lbs since. So my total is 16 lbs also. I waited 8 weeks to get my fill - didn't gain anything until the last 2 weeks of that time with no restriction. I gained 4lbs. Now I've lost 7lbs since my first fill 2 weeks ago. I'm making a commitment to exercise daily b/c I absolutely know that is what is slowing my progress. Good luck to you and you are NOT alone!

I'm struggling with figuring out what and when things are goin g to get stuck. I ate a tiny piece of grilled chicken - like I'm supposed to - without drinking and had one of the worst stuck episodes ever. I threw up that dense foamy crap and was stuck for a long time. I've got it down that I need to drink something warm, coffee inthe a.m. - I understand that I'm tighter in the a.m. and have to be very careful. No problem. But at lunch especially - I can eat some small bite of pasta salad and be fine. The next minute, its stuck. An hour and a slime later, I can eat anything I want with no issues. I'm starting to think that its almost like the band needs to be 'primed' with something to eat about 10 mins before you actually eat your lunch. Maybe that's the trick. I didn't eat all a.m. (not intended) then ate at 2pm - made some protien rich - tuna with light mayo to make it down easy - and one bite and its stuck! Foamed, slimed, spit for about 15 mins in the office bathroom and I was fine. I find myself gravitating towards soft foods - and catch myself -I'm eating avocados, soups, potien rich lentil or black bean soups. I seriously have trouble with the protien rich foods/meats. What is up with that? I've got to figure this out!!

I'm struggling with figuring out what and when things are goin g to get stuck. I ate a tiny piece of grilled chicken - like I'm supposed to - without drinking and had one of the worst stuck episodes ever. I threw up that dense foamy crap and was stuck for a long time. I've got it down that I need to drink something warm, coffee inthe a.m. - I understand that I'm tighter in the a.m. and have to be very careful. No problem. But at lunch especially - I can eat some small bite of pasta salad and be fine. The next minute, its stuck. An hour and a slime later, I can eat anything I want with no issues. I'm starting to think that its almost like the band needs to be 'primed' with something to eat about 10 mins before you actually eat your lunch. Maybe that's the trick. I didn't eat all a.m. (not intended) then ate at 2pm - made some protien rich - tuna with light mayo to make it down easy - and one bite and its stuck! Foamed, slimed, spit for about 15 mins in the office bathroom and I was fine. I find myself gravitating towards soft foods - and catch myself -I'm eating avocados, soups, potien rich lentil or black bean soups. I seriously have trouble with the protien rich foods/meats. What is up with that? I've got to figure this out!!

I'm doing better - but I'm confused by what I'm doing wrong. Sometimes things get stuck when I'm doing all the right things. Sometimes it doesn't get stuck when I know it should b/c I didn't chew enough b/c I forgot and ate too fast. I'm still having problems getting stuck but then other times - I'm able to eat and eat. I'm still trying to figure it out. How did your appointment go?

So true!! Just today - I was trying to eat tunafish mixed with light olive oil mayo. The tiniest bite and I felt horrible when it got stuck. Yesterday, one tiny bite of a tortilla chip - I pulverized it and ate with a sip of water. That was horrible too! Then later that day - I can eat and nothing gets stuck. I'm surprised - just as you both said - at how tempermental it all is. It almost makes me a little desperate for food when I know I'm able to eat. I find myself wanting to eat more than I need b/c I worry the very next time it will get stuck. I'm also finding - the very first meal of the day - no matter what time of day it is - and no matter what it is - tends to get stuck. Or if I happen to go a long time without eating - the first bite of anything seems to get stuck.

yes, its muscle! Good thinking! smart of you to change up the routine - exactly what should get things started again!

Try New york and Co., Ann Taylor Loft, and Steinmart. They are some of my favorites and carry XL sizes and up to size 18. Enjoy the shopping! I can't wait to feel that excitement! I'm a size 18 now and it really is amazing how a mere 10lb weight loss really makes a difference in your clothes. I think once I lose 10-15lbs, to get around 200 or 205 - I'll make it into a size 16. To be a 14 or a 12 is simply a dream right now! I'd have to be in the 180's to make a size 14 and 170s or 160s to make a size 12 But a dream I need to work toward!!

Hey thanks WDW and Knightmo. Sorry for taking so long to reply. I'd been down this past month b/c I gained a few lbs and because I was totally unrestricted and really need to kick myself in the behind and go get a fill! Its much different now and tolerable after the first fill. I'm hoping I won't need another for sometime - and that I'll be motivated to lose more! I really have to make sure I stop drinking while I eat and eat only the things I truly enjoy. And savor them vs. trying to eat more than I know I should. Thanks and good luck to you!!

So I finally scheduled my first fill, one week ago on Wed. I'd gained 5lbs in the past month b/c I truly could eat anything and did. I think I was mourning food - so afraid I'd never be able to enjoy eating again. The fill was very easy, I'm using fill center usa and used the same weight loss doctor that I've been going to for years. She used a needle to numb the area up and after a few misses (you could feel and her slipping off the plastic side of the port a few times) she hit it. I was relieved only b/c I really and truly thought I had flipped my port (see episode of a pop and burning sensation about 6 weeks after surgery that must have turned out to be scar tissure after all!) Anyway, she would put a little liquid in, pull some out. When she put too much in, I could feel my throat closing. It was like that feeling you get when something gets stuck. Its kind of a panic filled feeling b/c when you get something stuck you know the misery that comes next. She would barely pull a tiny bit of fluid out and it would go away. All the while I was drinking a cold, cold bottle of water so I could tell if the water rushed down or not. Well, in the end I ended up with 1.8 cc in my 4cc capacity band. I thought that was a lot! She said everyone is just different and that testing using the water is the best indicator. Great experience at the dr, no problems, etc. Well, I followed instructions, drank protien shakes the first day, mushy food the next. WELL, when I tried to eat solids that's when I got scared. I ate some salsa and one bite of fajita chicken on the 3rd day at lunch and it was horrible. I had to ask the friend who drove me twice to pull over on the way back to the office b/c I was salivating so badly and had to spit. I actually threw up once on the side of the road. I felt like such an idiot - they don't know I had the band and they MUST have thought I had the swine flu! Anyway - I couldn't swallow, foam-like spit came up and it felt like I had to burp but couldn't burp or swallow. And that Pain in my throat -UGH! THAT's precisely when I thought - did I do the right thing? Is this what its going to be like for the rest of my life? Is this what it feels like to be too tight? I was really questioning myself - I WANT to eat, enjoy, savor, cook, experience food - I just want to eat LESS! NOT feel like this!! I thought to myself - I PAID for this myself - what did I DO?? Well, I had to tell myself that I'm learning. I probably ate something too soon, didn't chew enough and I need let my body calm down from the fill - just like I had to allow it to settle in and calm down after the band itself. What I AM learning about this whole process is that I have to be kind to my body - allow it to heal and accept these changes at a slow pace. My job and my personality means I rush, rush, rush! Well, when I rush through eating - eat a large mouthfull and don't concentrate on really chewing the food. I'm going to pay the price. And THAT IS what I paid for. It is at just those times, that I overeat, eat too fast, eat the wrong things. So, I've had a few more similar episodes since - from eating one too many sweedish meatballs at IKEA to going to a mongolian grill with my husband and eating one piece of pinapple and excusing myself to the restroom to spit up foamy spit for 30 mins. I know that's my body trying to get that food un-stuck! I'm learning - I'm learning! And I've lost 3 lbs in the week since the fill! Finally the scale is moving again!

So I finally scheduled my first fill, one week ago on Wed. I'd gained 5lbs in the past month b/c I truly could eat anything and did. I think I was mourning food - so afraid I'd never be able to enjoy eating again. The fill was very easy, I'm using fill center usa and used the same weight loss doctor that I've been going to for years. She used a needle to numb the area up and after a few misses (you could feel and her slipping off the plastic side of the port a few times) she hit it. I was relieved only b/c I really and truly thought I had flipped my port (see episode of a pop and burning sensation about 6 weeks after surgery that must have turned out to be scar tissure after all!) Anyway, she would put a little liquid in, pull some out. When she put too much in, I could feel my throat closing. It was like that feeling you get when something gets stuck. Its kind of a panic filled feeling b/c when you get something stuck you know the misery that comes next. She would barely pull a tiny bit of fluid out and it would go away. All the while I was drinking a cold, cold bottle of water so I could tell if the water rushed down or not. Well, in the end I ended up with 1.8 cc in my 4cc capacity band. I thought that was a lot! She said everyone is just different and that testing using the water is the best indicator. Great experience at the dr, no problems, etc. Well, I followed instructions, drank protien shakes the first day, mushy food the next. WELL, when I tried to eat solids that's when I got scared. I ate some salsa and one bite of fajita chicken on the 3rd day at lunch and it was horrible. I had to ask the friend who drove me twice to pull over on the way back to the office b/c I was salivating so badly and had to spit. I actually threw up once on the side of the road. I felt like such an idiot - they don't know I had the band and they MUST have thought I had the swine flu! Anyway - I couldn't swallow, foam-like spit came up and it felt like I had to burp but couldn't burp or swallow. And that Pain in my throat -UGH! THAT's precisely when I thought - did I do the right thing? Is this what its going to be like for the rest of my life? Is this what it feels like to be too tight? I was really questioning myself - I WANT to eat, enjoy, savor, cook, experience food - I just want to eat LESS! NOT feel like this!! I thought to myself - I PAID for this myself - what did I DO?? Well, I had to tell myself that I'm learning. I probably ate something too soon, didn't chew enough and I need let my body calm down from the fill - just like I had to allow it to settle in and calm down after the band itself. What I AM learning about this whole process is that I have to be kind to my body - allow it to heal and accept these changes at a slow pace. My job and my personality means I rush, rush, rush! Well, when I rush through eating - eat a large mouthfull and don't concentrate on really chewing the food. I'm going to pay the price. And THAT IS what I paid for. It is at just those times, that I overeat, eat too fast, eat the wrong things. So, I've had a few more similar episodes since - from eating one too many sweedish meatballs at IKEA to going to a mongolian grill with my husband and eating one piece of pinapple and excusing myself to the restroom to spit up foamy spit for 30 mins. I know that's my body trying to get that food un-stuck! I'm learning - I'm learning! And I've lost 3 lbs in the week since the fill! Finally the scale is moving again!

I was banded 3/9/09 and something that has surprised me is how different some things are than what I expected. I researched a lot, I read this board for months and months, and I feel that I know my body pretty well. It surprises me now how everything everyone on the boards are saying - make so much more sense. For example, I know everyone says this is a tool - but I thought I understood what that meant! But some thing still are surprising or different than what I expected. What about you? What have you learned that surprised you? 1. I'm surprised still at how much control I have over what I eat but at the same time how much control this band has over me. I thought the weight loss would be easier - but I still have to choose NOT to eat. Choose and plan healthy choices, Choose to get up off my butt and EXERCISE! I'm also still surprised at how the band chooses to be tight at times when I really don't want it to be! I'm realizing now that it is at PRECISELY those moments - that I need to be eating less - and it was in those moments in the past that I overate - and is what made me fat! 2. I'm surprised at how it feels when I have trouble eating or getting something stuck. I never could really undersand that. Its like a lump in your throat and its a real hard and sharp pain in your throat that involves your neck not just your stomach. I never really realized that in all the posts I read about what that felt like. I'm really interested in hearing what you all have to say!:tt2:

I had my first fill one week ago. I've lost 3lbs. which I'm happy with. I'm impressed with everyone's success so far - really amazing job everyone! I've not been that successful yet, but I've not been exercising like I should be. I'm ready to do that now so hope it picks up for me. I definitely have restriction - I worried maybe too much - b/c I really struggle with things getting stuck regularly - but its teaching me what I'm supposed to do! I'm learning!

Thanks for the words of encouragement SaraEmily! I know you are so right about exercise. I just need to make it happen. I also need to get a fill and get myself motivated. Hearing how well you've done actually does encourage me. I'm so very impressed with what you've accomplished - this is truly not easy at all. I'm really surprised at how this is 90% me. My weakness is also ice cream and soft stuff. Thanks for re-energizing me. i needed it!

Thanks for the words of encouragement Knightmo. Congrats to you and I can tell you I wish I stayed on liquids longer and tood advantage of the loss of hunger during that stage. I like to cook also - I miss crusty bread with goat cheese, roasted garlic and bruschetta. sigh. I also can't imagine going without coffee. My dr never said I had to go without. Best of luck to you!!

I've eaten Easter candy and ice cream. I'm sabotoging myself. I was hoping I could hold out and not have a fill but I'm realizing I need it. I can eat pretty much anything and as much as I want. I'm not making the right choices and I've gained 3lbs. I hurt my back on Easter sunday - I've never hurt my back before. I simply got up from playing with the kids on the floor and had a pinch in my lower back and I couldn't stand up straight. It was so very painful - I could barely walk. I didn't even go to work on Monday and I never miss work. Anyway - I think taking it slow may have helped my port pain - actually I think I've been compensating so much for that pain when bending certain ways that perhaps I created this lower back pain injury. Anyway - it just tells me that I need to exercise, stretch out my muscles and strengthen them to hopefully help that I don't have this happen again. I was hoping to be smaller by my next business meeting - well its next week - and I'm not any smaller. Also my birthday is in 2 mos - guess I won't be where I'd hoped by that time. The worst part is, that its all my fault. When am I going to fix this? When am I going to make the right choices? Am I greiving the loss of food? I have felt a little depressed about not being able to eat what I want and I've noticed myself eating like I'll never get to eat that stuff again. Self sabotage. I think I'm PMSing also. Lovely. I'm going to order that book - on cognitive re-learning - its at my local library so I think I'll do that before I go and purchase it. I'm going to make myself a tip jar - things to distract me in the moment where I want to eat something. I need to get myself straight! I need to buck up!:smile2:

I've eaten Easter candy and ice cream. I'm sabotoging myself. I was hoping I could hold out and not have a fill but I'm realizing I need it. I can eat pretty much anything and as much as I want. I'm not making the right choices and I've gained 3lbs. I hurt my back on Easter sunday - I've never hurt my back before. I simply got up from playing with the kids on the floor and had a pinch in my lower back and I couldn't stand up straight. It was so very painful - I could barely walk. I didn't even go to work on Monday and I never miss work. Anyway - I think taking it slow may have helped my port pain - actually I think I've been compensating so much for that pain when bending certain ways that perhaps I created this lower back pain injury. Anyway - it just tells me that I need to exercise, stretch out my muscles and strengthen them to hopefully help that I don't have this happen again. I was hoping to be smaller by my next business meeting - well its next week - and I'm not any smaller. Also my birthday is in 2 mos - guess I won't be where I'd hoped by that time. The worst part is, that its all my fault. When am I going to fix this? When am I going to make the right choices? Am I greiving the loss of food? I have felt a little depressed about not being able to eat what I want and I've noticed myself eating like I'll never get to eat that stuff again. Self sabotage. I think I'm PMSing also. Lovely. I'm going to order that book - on cognitive re-learning - its at my local library so I think I'll do that before I go and purchase it. I'm going to make myself a tip jar - things to distract me in the moment where I want to eat something. I need to get myself straight! I need to buck up!:scared2:

Good for you Jennibells! I find myself still doing the very same thing. I have no restriction anymore and I need a fill I think. I had some restriction and had a very hard time eating chicken and eggs but this week I've had no problems at all. I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can get a fill scheduled before I go out of town next week. I kind of wanted to hold off if I could but I'm realizing that I'm slipping back into old bad habits, feel hunger, and can eat anything. I liked the feeling where I didn't think about food at all and I want that back!

RockinMom - impressive that you can exercise such great self control. I was banded on the 9th and I'm not doing as well as you in portion control. I almost felt panicked - like I would never get to eat certain things again and I'm still doing the emotional eating thing. Mostly when I'm stressed. I do great at work, its when I get home that its the problem. I've had too much easter chocolate. I need to get back on the wagon. Good luck going back to work - you'll do great there b/c you're doing so well at home!

Thanks Silly Goose. I was starting to think people would think I'm totally nuts and blabbing on too much. They still might - I seriously didn't mean for it to be such a long post! Thanks again for making me feel a little better lol!....