Bugg

Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’m going to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated! Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.

I feel so much better after reading you all’s posts and encouraging words. I’m back ready for this again! I’ve had time to really think about what’s important and why I really want this surgery and the benefits outweigh the thoughts and anxiety running through my head. Now, I’m just ready for a date! Bc I want to stop thinking about it and just begin this journey!!

Thank you so much for your encouragement! That’s amazing you lost that much weight on your own. Congratulations & good luck on your surgery! Please respond again afterwards and let me know how it goes.. I’d love to know your experience fresh out of surgery.

Thank you all so much for replying and your comforting words. I can’t believe how nice everyone else. I was almost dreading reading replies because I just knew I was going to see a mean reply but everyone has been so nice and supportive about my emotional rant. Lol. I can’t thank you enough. Yesterday I went to a church service and sat on the bench and I just felt so big and uncomfortable and stuffed. I felt bigger than everyone on my row and probably was. Then I got home and ordered food for my kids and I and ate such a big portion and I remembered all over again exactly why I want this surgery and seeing your words confirmed it. Especially when @DaisyChainOz said “Only you can know if it’s worth it to you”. I really needed to hear that and I’m feeling like it’s really worth it at this point. I really can’t keep feeling like this. I guess if food is always going to be a thing, I’d rather it be a thing while I’m thin and more comfortable in my body. It’s also hard bc I’m not telling a lot of people. Not to be secretive, but bc I know many people won’t understand and I really want this to be my choice without the extra noise and opinions from people who don’t know what it’s like to feel trapped by your own body. I pray for no issues & that I end up being like everyone else in a few months asking myself why I didn’t choose to do this years ago. Can I ask a couple more questions though? Will I ever be able to guzzle water again? Lol. I just love ice cold water after a sweat or when I’m thirsty, just the feeling of chugging ice cold water, will I ever be able to chug a cold glass of water or will I need to sip it forever? If so, that’s fine, I just want to prepare my mind for what I’m giving up. Also, I know a couple of you are only a few weeks in, but has anyone lost too much weight? Not medically but lost too much personally? I’m afraid of getting to a size that’s too small. I don’t think I’ve ever desired to actually be skinny, I just want to be normal/average.

Thank you so much for responding, everything you said made me feel validated in my fear and comforted as well. I actually do love cooked vegetables and meat cooked in other ways besides fried. I like a variety of foods in fact. I guess I just see people posting such healthy looking meals that don’t look appealing to me and I’m just like “do I have to eat that?” Like I’m not a fan of raw vegetables and cottage cheese, for instance. I haven’t seen anyone post something that I like which makes me think that what I like to eat are things I won’t be able to eat. I’m not too concerned about not being able to eat junk food at all because I’m not really a junk food eater more than I am a comfort food eater. I just love a good meal and I just don’t see anyone posting good food. Food is a concern bc it’s important, but my biggest concern besides food is being able to get out of my head and an even bigger concern is the things that can go wrong! Being dehydrated, vitamin deficiency, extreme constipation, hernias, gallbladder removal, GERD, having to convert to bypass, being hospitalized for something. Like is there anyone who has not had a complication? Even people who don’t regret the decision seem to have so many scary issues. I’m so afraid of what could go wrong. I’m afraid of being sad about food the rest of my life. I’m sad now about the control food has over me. I feel trapped. I hate that I have to be fat and even go through all of this. I hate I’m on a forum complaining about being fat. Lol. I just need someone to tell me to do it and that it will be ok and worth it! I guess I just keep imagining I’m going to be sitting here physically feeling a cut off stomach, if that makes sense. Lol. Like, I know I won’t be able to eat a lot anymore, I know I’ll need to make the better choices with food which is fine, but I just don’t want my life to revolve around food anymore! I don’t want to sit around everyday worried about food. It seems like I have to go from thinking about what I’m going to eat everyday to worried about if I’m going to be able to eat enough or eat too much or get dehydrated or get enough protein or something with food! I’m just sick of food! Lol.. Will my life ever not be about food and weight?!! If the sleeve makes me go from worrying about weight to worrying about weight on top of a bunch of other stuff, is it going to be right for me? Am I trading one woe for another? I hope that makes sense.