BethFromVA

Here: Take two of these and call me in the morning.

My brain's still on fire thinking of Plain on that glass table... :drool: oops, I mean

I thought it was you cuz you SAY you're a nurse'n all. Maybe Glouc? I remember reading it last week sometime. Ugh...

No, no poo. I do draw the line, yanno... I mean, what do you take me for??

So... I'm succeeding??

On a serious note, Monkey, I think it was KC that told us the story about the sandwich in a lady's rolls. She was very overweight (over 500 pounds, I think) and came in with an infection. When they checked her over, there was a sandwich that had gotten wedged in her fat rolls that had gone all green and eaten into her skin, causing infection. Pretty sad and gross, really...

Kinda like cheese. Curds, actually. But still yummy. It's like finding change in the cushions, but with food and a swollen va-jay-jay.

But first I hafta be able to sit down, and, well, you can see what a problem that may be. Good news is, I found a sammich lost in there. YUM!

I've already told you, YOU breaking your own coffee table as you film your anus doing WHAA WHAA WHAA puckers does NOT count.

Did they catch you with the sledgehammer, or were you able to ditch it before they showed up?

Somehow I doubt it. :biggrin: Some of those people were just... MEAN! Omg, and NEVER piss off a gaggle of nuns!

I took some nekkid pictures of myself today, but I hafta say, this band makes my va-jay-jay hurt a bit. I think it's swole...

It is. It really is. I mean, you, plain, the lady down the street, the checkout clerk at the grocery store, the mail lady, the Jehovah's Witness that came to the door, the nuns at St. Mary's on the Mount, the cable guy, the mechanic, oh, and that union worker -- all just TODAY told me what a bitch I am. I may have a problem.

Oh, I play a good game and talk myself up and all, but I'm nowhere near you or Monkey. You, with your hot, hardbodied workmen who keep coming around to "borrow" things, and Monkey with her hot poo slinging and romps with who I THOUGHT was MY man HH... *sigh* I'm hardly a ghost of the two of you. I want to know how to bring out my inner sluttiness lilke you two have. TEACH ME!

I have such a hard time being slutty. Monkey, what am I doing wrong?

Ooooh, you said hard wood! I'll be right back.

Okay, this ain't workin' so hot. My poor man toy is being dissed. He's the only guy who shows me any attention, too. Poor HH...

Bet it was skanky. And she lost. HAHAHAHA!!

Oh, YOU TRAMP! Okay, he's like hardened clay after it's been fired in the kiln.

Band in the va-jay-jay. He's like putty in my hand.

Sorry, HH, but I've been LMAO at this one! VERY GOOD! :biggrin: As for the drinking... and hot tubbing... and construction workers, how many hours a day do you think I play Dear Abby anyway?

Which begs the question, Monkey -- are we boring you here or something? You're so freakin' fickle.

Omg, I just saw!! :biggrin: Thank God, another one that makes me look good. And sexual favors? You mean he probably won't take this bribery mon-- er, thank you card I have for him?

That was my thought exactly. You'll do great!