BethFromVA

What PROOF is there that it had to do with her skin color and not her weight? Or her PERFUME, for all we know? I moved away from a woman who was wearing a perfume that had a manufactured rose scent to it. She was hispanic. Did that make me racist? I absolutely cannot STAND anything with that fake rose scent. Not being there, YOU don't know what really happened either. And not being a mind reader, you don't know why the woman really moved. You're simply jumping on the bandwagon of Debbie's belief that it simply "MUST" be due to her skin color. Based on what I've heard, I'm not convinced. And just because I'm not convinced in THIS case in no way negates REAL racism! It doesn't mean it never happens! I'm just saying in these two instances, I'm not convinced. Let's just say it would never hold up in a court of law.

Didja tell 'em to polish up your halo? Heck, my prior boss (from the place I left because I was soooo "bad"), the one that retired, told one place they would be stupid if they didn't hire me, and told another I all but walked on water. Now, that said, I'm still looking but... you get the picture. :wink:

BJean, I was going to give you one of my "long" posts that you have such humongous problems being able to follow, but frankly you're not worth the time OR the energy. Besides that, the issues you have are too deeply rooted in bitterness. You can't debate; you can't argue facts; you can't back up assertions with proof; and you can't read minds because you got HeadHunter and me WAY wrong. The one thing you COULD do is put me on ignore, but for whatever reason you choose not to do that. Seems to me you can't do much of anything right. Must suck to be you. When racism TRULY exists, I am vehemently against it. I just don't go for examples such as Debbie's and automatically she was being mistreated by the big bad white man. :wink:

Then those are horrible people. I never said it doesn't happen, but sometimes stuff like what the OP posted lends credence to the possibility that it's worse than it probably really is. That's all I'm saying. Societies will always have their idiots. We can't change them. But don't give them power, either, but seeing a racist behind every bush.

Apparently it makes a difference to some. I say no, it doesn't. However, I guess I don't see the situations as being these horrible experiences. One lady moved. Maybe it was because it was tight, maybe because there was room elsewhere on the bus. Not being there, I have no idea. Does it hurt those of us who are fat? Yeah, but that doesn't make it "fatism." It may just mean that the other woman wasn't physically comfortable with the seating arrangements. It was her right to move. To me, "fatism" is where a plane kicks people off their planes for being too fat, humiliating them in front of others and denying them the ability to use the aircraft. As for the bus driver who didn't talk to her -- again, there really isn't anything of substance in this assertion, to either claim it was "fatism" OR racism. Or ANY ism for that matter. Maybe he didn't hear her; maybe he has had her on the bus before and doesn't like her; maybe he knows the man who followed her. It could be ANYthing. I just think it's terribly unhealthy to go around with one's feelings hurt all the time and reading things into scenarios that just aren't there. Unless I hear that the woman who moved called her the "n" word or fatso, I can't assume it was anything other than that she just wanted to move. I've done that on buses before when there was lots of room for people to sit and somebody plunked down next to me. If there's enough room to have my own row, I'd prefer to have the row to myself. I have moved. It had nothing to do with anybody's weight or color or hairstyle or choice of clothing. We can't change stupid people. All we can do is change how we react to them and let them affect us. That said, I think to mistreat people simply because of their race is horrible. However, I think it enslaves people that much more when they see racism at every turn without ever thinking there just might be another possibility.

Assuming I was correct, the weight issue CAN be corrected -- rather than having this poor woman with these horrible thoughts in the back of her head every time somebody looks at her sideways. What a horrible way to live one's life.

I lived in Texas for 27 years, about as south as you can get; and trust me, when Bush was elected, much worse was said about him. How many times was he called a redneck or a cowboy (and not in that good way)? Now if something was said to the OP, that would be a totally different story, one that I couldn't disagree with. But as it is, she is basing her story on conjecture on her part which is likely way off base.

As for being "brave," HH, I appreciate it, but it's sad that we live in a time of thought police where people can't feel free to express their opinions for fear of being bullied or labeled. I, for one, couldn't care less about labels. I said what I thought it could be, and unless proven otherwise, I still stand behind it. As for the thought police, I believe that if people continue to be threatened or bullied or bashed into silence, then the thought police can make the world into anything they wish. In other words, if they scream it's all about race, and people are afraid to disagree for fear of being labeled or harassed, then they unwittingly play the game. Now I preface this by saying I don't believe racism is anywhere as bad as some would have us believe; but let's face it, there are benefits to being perpetual "victims." Those who play the victim benefit, and those who pander to the victim further the idea that "racism is alive and well" and lurking everyplace you go. It just isn't the case. This country elected a black president, for crying out loud. Give it up already.

I just see that it could have been any number of reasons for these two incidents. I guess I just have come to the conclusion that when one hears hoofbeats, it doesn't automatically mean it's zebras. Sometimes it's just horses.

By the way, BJean, what color/race am I? HINT: My avatar pic is not me. Not even close.

I communicate just fine. I even offer up facts to back up my assertions when called for. You , however, choose to constantly get pissy about what is said when it doesn't conform to what you believe. And you're right, that does not make for good communicating. As it is, I don't recall addressing you on this topic at all. Thank God for small favors. What DOESN'T piss you off?? Seriously, I couldn't care less about sensitivity and pussyfooting around and PCism and all that other wussified crap that goes on today. However, I made a perfectly legitimate observation: She MAY have experienced the seat-changing incident because of her WEIGHT, not her SKIN COLOR. And truth be told, I would be willing to bet a dime to a donut hole that the person felt a bit trapped sitting next to a 300-pound person, NOT a black person. I know how uncomfortable it's been for ME and the discomfort I've noticed from others when I'VE been the 300-pound person! It doesn't exist anywhere NEAR what it did years ago. I'm just saying that if one chooses to always believe something is based on race/weight/gender/sexual preference, then guaranteed they will always be "right" in their minds because that is ALL they'll see. If I was supposed to jump on the "awwwww, poor baby" bandwagon and jump to the conclusion that this is all about race, I wish there was a disclaimer somewhere warning people. If there was NO other potential explanation, I'd say yeah, something was wrong here. If the lady who got up mumbled some disparaging remark about [insert racial epithet here] as she moved, I'd say yeah, she has a point. If the bus driver who ignored her told her to shut up and get to the back of the bus, I'd agree. As it is, it's simply her speculation that any of this has to do with race. There are two types of racism: Honest, overt racism, and people living their lives as if everything revolves around race and racism. Both are prisons of a sort, but only one can be controlled by this individual.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!! Ooooooh, girl, you's gonna have a new job!!!! Send some of that good mojo my way, will ya? :eek::w00t::smile::w00t::wink:

I'm not saying anything of the sort. I just don't see it based on the OPs statements here. Since when did racism and discrimination go one way?! If you think I've never been treated differently because of my skin color, I would tell you that you are wrong. I said MAYBE it had to do with her weight more than her skin color. I looked after I posted to her and saw what she weighed pre-op and now. I'm sorry, but people DO get up and move because we are fat, not because of our skin color. Now IF she's being discriminated against due to her skin color, I think that sucks the big one. However, you are just more proof that if you want to inflame a situation and make it about race, it only serves to continually flame that fire which is nowhere like it used to be. People can find the devil behind every bush if they choose to view life that way. Also, nice to know your ever-present bitchiness is alive and well too. :wink:

What makes you so quick to assume it's racial? Because, sadly, simply based on what you've said here, it sounds like that is a choice you are making. Nothing I've read so far screams "racism" to me.

At the risk of being the lone fly in the ointment, I have a hard time believing that the examples you gave were due to racism. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but I just can't determine racism from these two examples. At the other risk of sounding mean, could the incident on the bus where the woman moved be due to your weight? We have ALL probably experienced people moving seats or looking petrified as we approached empty seats next to them simply because of our weight. I don't know how much you may weigh (I didn't look to see if you have a ticker), but perhaps it has to do with that. The other incident could be the same, where the bus driver didn't talk to you. I have experienced "invisibility" since I've been fat myself, and I certainly don't attribute it to anything besides my weight. I certainly believe racism still exists, but I do no believe it exists to the degree that it once did. We are such a mixed group of people these days that those lines are quickly blurring.

Wow, Ebony, that sounds very promising!!! I hope and pray it is the one meant for you and you will be rewarded a thousand times over for the change. :wink:

Susan, that's horrible! Omg, it seems like we are hearing about this way too often. I pray for peace for the family that was left behind to deal with this tragedy.

Thoughts, prayers, and good wishes for Ebony! Her second interview started fifteen minutes ago.

I already knew about the surgery but not the dream! I will pray that all turns out well, my friend. I wish you could go be with her too. It's really hard to not have money to do things like that.

Susan, that's really REALLY great news!!! I think sometimes we all feel that things bring us happiness, when in reality they saddle us with huge burdens which then affect the rest of our living. I know I am way guilty of that myself.

WELCOME BACK, TAP!! Though I'm very sorry to hear about your PBing. Please be careful and take care with that.

Doin the happy dance for you as well!

AWESOME news, G4E!!! I'm doin' a happy dance for ya!

Yeah, well I want to be 120 pounds again, but sometimes life is full of this sticky little thing called reality. But even if she went to a local community college for her basics, she doesn't even have to go anywhere with her major, so long as it is a good community college whose credits will be accepted at VA State. I'm doing that right now. I started at George Mason on a couple upper credit classes, but I still needed about 15 credits in 100 and 200 level. My advisor said that if I went to my community college, those classes would cost me about $1000, compared to $4000 if I took them at Mason. That was a total no-brainer. ESPECIALLY if she hasn't done really well in proving herself in high school, I'd say that is a given, that she'd have to prove herself now. Even if she went to community college for ONE year and was able to save up her portion (and give you time to save yours) for VA State, it gives everybody some breathing room and time. Even though she wants the whole getting-away college experience, there has to be some reality there. If she doesn't have the money necessary, and you're going to be really strapped by getting her in at VA State right now, then the only fair thing for everybody is for her to agree to community college. You have to remember, not only is there the huge cost for college, but BOOKS are a real bear as well! HINT: When buying textbooks, absolutely use www.half.com or www.amazon.com to get them!!! Not only will y'all save tons, but then she can sell them the same way as well. It's the only way I get my books now.

All I can tell you is I won't be making my goal. It was rather tight to begin with, but it won't be happenin' -- not unless I rid myself of a limb or two.