Khappy77

Hello,
My starting weight was 250 and current weight is 124.
I'm new to the forum. I want to remain anonymous at this point and I didn't want to post in Facebook. I had my gastric sleeve done in May of 2022, I've lost a total of 125 pounds. The thing I didn't think about was how my self esteem has not changed. I was thinner in my late teens and 20's, but gained weight after having 5 children. I am now in my late 40's, I don't really regret the choice I made about the surgery. The thing I didn't prepare myself for mentally is the depression factor, I had depression prior to surgery and had been on med's. After my surgery I am still on meds, but I feel like things have started to get worse over the last 4-5 months with more weight loss.
I find it very uncomfortable to get attention that I didn't before from males. It get's very uncomfortable to the point where I try to avoid places that have large groups of people. I'm married to a wonderful man for over 20 years, he is so supportive and loving. Once I lost the weight it has turned into more of a focus on my body and how great he tells me I look. Strangers like males coming up to me and asking me for my number, or flirting with me to excess. I don't like it, it makes me beyond anxious and has lead I think to me becoming more depressed. I just want to blend in and not be noticed like I used to be. I know how crazy this sounds but it's difficult for me because I'm very shy especially and I've never liked attention. Sorry this post may sound stupid or pointless but to me I didn't realize I would become more depressed and anxious after I lost weight.
I thought weight loss was going to be an amazing thing, I paid out of pocket for the surgery myself. There is a downside to the weight loss that also no one talks about and it's the Hair loss. Your hair get's very thin if you are not maintaining your Vitamins. It still becomes thin and falls out due to the stress of the surgery. I'm okay with my hair but the hair loss was unexpected as well. I wanted somewhere I could vent about all this. I feel like the focus is more now on my body and how it looks, especially with my husband. Sometimes it's great but at other times it becomes overwhelming.
I feel like something is wrong with me, I should be happy? I don't crave attention and wanted the surgery to feel healthy and for me. I fear the warm months coming, the summer I hated the most when I was overweight. Now that I've lost the weight I'm also just wanting to go back into that shell and become invisible again, especially around the opposite sex. This is not the part I expected to have to deal with, I forgot how to deal with this type of attention. Maybe this is something that others would love to have, but it can also become overwhelming, very overwhelming. Sorry I'm rambling, just didn't know where else to post this in case my complaining is unjustified and stupid?

Hello,
My starting weight was 250 and current weight is 124.
I'm new to the forum. I want to remain anonymous at this point and I didn't want to post in Facebook. I had my gastric sleeve done in May of 2022, I've lost a total of 125 pounds. The thing I didn't think about was how my self esteem has not changed. I was thinner in my late teens and 20's, but gained weight after having 5 children. I am now in my late 40's, I don't really regret the choice I made about the surgery. The thing I didn't prepare myself for mentally is the depression factor, I had depression prior to surgery and had been on med's. After my surgery I am still on meds, but I feel like things have started to get worse over the last 4-5 months with more weight loss.
I find it very uncomfortable to get attention that I didn't before from males. It get's very uncomfortable to the point where I try to avoid places that have large groups of people. I'm married to a wonderful man for over 20 years, he is so supportive and loving. Once I lost the weight it has turned into more of a focus on my body and how great he tells me I look. Strangers like males coming up to me and asking me for my number, or flirting with me to excess. I don't like it, it makes me beyond anxious and has lead I think to me becoming more depressed. I just want to blend in and not be noticed like I used to be. I know how crazy this sounds but it's difficult for me because I'm very shy especially and I've never liked attention. Sorry this post may sound stupid or pointless but to me I didn't realize I would become more depressed and anxious after I lost weight.
I thought weight loss was going to be an amazing thing, I paid out of pocket for the surgery myself. There is a downside to the weight loss that also no one talks about and it's the Hair loss. Your hair get's very thin if you are not maintaining your Vitamins. It still becomes thin and falls out due to the stress of the surgery. I'm okay with my hair but the hair loss was unexpected as well. I wanted somewhere I could vent about all this. I feel like the focus is more now on my body and how it looks, especially with my husband. Sometimes it's great but at other times it becomes overwhelming.
I feel like something is wrong with me, I should be happy? I don't crave attention and wanted the surgery to feel healthy and for me. I fear the warm months coming, the summer I hated the most when I was overweight. Now that I've lost the weight I'm also just wanting to go back into that shell and become invisible again, especially around the opposite sex. This is not the part I expected to have to deal with, I forgot how to deal with this type of attention. Maybe this is something that others would love to have, but it can also become overwhelming, very overwhelming. Sorry I'm rambling, just didn't know where else to post this in case my complaining is unjustified and stupid?

I say give it time and stop focusing on how much you have lost each day. After I stopped weighing myself and stopped being hyper focused on how much I lost daily things changed. A week or more then I waited longer to weigh myself. I think I didn't attempt to weight myself for a couple of months and the weight loss was much more dramatic when on the scale. For me focusing daily on the loss of weight didn't help me to, that's me personally. You can focus on your weight, just don't let it consume you. Also, don't get sad if it's not coming off as quickly as you thought it would. Give it time, find something else to focus on and just continue moving around and eating healthier than you had in the past. This is my take on the situation, I don't know if my advice is the best as I have shifted from weight loss worry to other concerns. It's hard to stay positive at times, but for me it helped to try and distract myself and keep busy.
I would also say, start to plan on your clothing choices and what you would like to wear. That was the most exciting time for me. I could finally dress more like a girl and not stuck in the clothes that were only in my size.

Hello,
My starting weight was 250 and current weight is 124.
I'm new to the forum. I want to remain anonymous at this point and I didn't want to post in Facebook. I had my gastric sleeve done in May of 2022, I've lost a total of 125 pounds. The thing I didn't think about was how my self esteem has not changed. I was thinner in my late teens and 20's, but gained weight after having 5 children. I am now in my late 40's, I don't really regret the choice I made about the surgery. The thing I didn't prepare myself for mentally is the depression factor, I had depression prior to surgery and had been on med's. After my surgery I am still on meds, but I feel like things have started to get worse over the last 4-5 months with more weight loss.
I find it very uncomfortable to get attention that I didn't before from males. It get's very uncomfortable to the point where I try to avoid places that have large groups of people. I'm married to a wonderful man for over 20 years, he is so supportive and loving. Once I lost the weight it has turned into more of a focus on my body and how great he tells me I look. Strangers like males coming up to me and asking me for my number, or flirting with me to excess. I don't like it, it makes me beyond anxious and has lead I think to me becoming more depressed. I just want to blend in and not be noticed like I used to be. I know how crazy this sounds but it's difficult for me because I'm very shy especially and I've never liked attention. Sorry this post may sound stupid or pointless but to me I didn't realize I would become more depressed and anxious after I lost weight.
I thought weight loss was going to be an amazing thing, I paid out of pocket for the surgery myself. There is a downside to the weight loss that also no one talks about and it's the Hair loss. Your hair get's very thin if you are not maintaining your Vitamins. It still becomes thin and falls out due to the stress of the surgery. I'm okay with my hair but the hair loss was unexpected as well. I wanted somewhere I could vent about all this. I feel like the focus is more now on my body and how it looks, especially with my husband. Sometimes it's great but at other times it becomes overwhelming.
I feel like something is wrong with me, I should be happy? I don't crave attention and wanted the surgery to feel healthy and for me. I fear the warm months coming, the summer I hated the most when I was overweight. Now that I've lost the weight I'm also just wanting to go back into that shell and become invisible again, especially around the opposite sex. This is not the part I expected to have to deal with, I forgot how to deal with this type of attention. Maybe this is something that others would love to have, but it can also become overwhelming, very overwhelming. Sorry I'm rambling, just didn't know where else to post this in case my complaining is unjustified and stupid?

Hello,
My starting weight was 250 and current weight is 124.
I'm new to the forum. I want to remain anonymous at this point and I didn't want to post in Facebook. I had my gastric sleeve done in May of 2022, I've lost a total of 125 pounds. The thing I didn't think about was how my self esteem has not changed. I was thinner in my late teens and 20's, but gained weight after having 5 children. I am now in my late 40's, I don't really regret the choice I made about the surgery. The thing I didn't prepare myself for mentally is the depression factor, I had depression prior to surgery and had been on med's. After my surgery I am still on meds, but I feel like things have started to get worse over the last 4-5 months with more weight loss.
I find it very uncomfortable to get attention that I didn't before from males. It get's very uncomfortable to the point where I try to avoid places that have large groups of people. I'm married to a wonderful man for over 20 years, he is so supportive and loving. Once I lost the weight it has turned into more of a focus on my body and how great he tells me I look. Strangers like males coming up to me and asking me for my number, or flirting with me to excess. I don't like it, it makes me beyond anxious and has lead I think to me becoming more depressed. I just want to blend in and not be noticed like I used to be. I know how crazy this sounds but it's difficult for me because I'm very shy especially and I've never liked attention. Sorry this post may sound stupid or pointless but to me I didn't realize I would become more depressed and anxious after I lost weight.
I thought weight loss was going to be an amazing thing, I paid out of pocket for the surgery myself. There is a downside to the weight loss that also no one talks about and it's the Hair loss. Your hair get's very thin if you are not maintaining your Vitamins. It still becomes thin and falls out due to the stress of the surgery. I'm okay with my hair but the hair loss was unexpected as well. I wanted somewhere I could vent about all this. I feel like the focus is more now on my body and how it looks, especially with my husband. Sometimes it's great but at other times it becomes overwhelming.
I feel like something is wrong with me, I should be happy? I don't crave attention and wanted the surgery to feel healthy and for me. I fear the warm months coming, the summer I hated the most when I was overweight. Now that I've lost the weight I'm also just wanting to go back into that shell and become invisible again, especially around the opposite sex. This is not the part I expected to have to deal with, I forgot how to deal with this type of attention. Maybe this is something that others would love to have, but it can also become overwhelming, very overwhelming. Sorry I'm rambling, just didn't know where else to post this in case my complaining is unjustified and stupid?

Hello,
My starting weight was 250 and current weight is 124.
I'm new to the forum. I want to remain anonymous at this point and I didn't want to post in Facebook. I had my gastric sleeve done in May of 2022, I've lost a total of 125 pounds. The thing I didn't think about was how my self esteem has not changed. I was thinner in my late teens and 20's, but gained weight after having 5 children. I am now in my late 40's, I don't really regret the choice I made about the surgery. The thing I didn't prepare myself for mentally is the depression factor, I had depression prior to surgery and had been on med's. After my surgery I am still on meds, but I feel like things have started to get worse over the last 4-5 months with more weight loss.
I find it very uncomfortable to get attention that I didn't before from males. It get's very uncomfortable to the point where I try to avoid places that have large groups of people. I'm married to a wonderful man for over 20 years, he is so supportive and loving. Once I lost the weight it has turned into more of a focus on my body and how great he tells me I look. Strangers like males coming up to me and asking me for my number, or flirting with me to excess. I don't like it, it makes me beyond anxious and has lead I think to me becoming more depressed. I just want to blend in and not be noticed like I used to be. I know how crazy this sounds but it's difficult for me because I'm very shy especially and I've never liked attention. Sorry this post may sound stupid or pointless but to me I didn't realize I would become more depressed and anxious after I lost weight.
I thought weight loss was going to be an amazing thing, I paid out of pocket for the surgery myself. There is a downside to the weight loss that also no one talks about and it's the Hair loss. Your hair get's very thin if you are not maintaining your Vitamins. It still becomes thin and falls out due to the stress of the surgery. I'm okay with my hair but the hair loss was unexpected as well. I wanted somewhere I could vent about all this. I feel like the focus is more now on my body and how it looks, especially with my husband. Sometimes it's great but at other times it becomes overwhelming.
I feel like something is wrong with me, I should be happy? I don't crave attention and wanted the surgery to feel healthy and for me. I fear the warm months coming, the summer I hated the most when I was overweight. Now that I've lost the weight I'm also just wanting to go back into that shell and become invisible again, especially around the opposite sex. This is not the part I expected to have to deal with, I forgot how to deal with this type of attention. Maybe this is something that others would love to have, but it can also become overwhelming, very overwhelming. Sorry I'm rambling, just didn't know where else to post this in case my complaining is unjustified and stupid?

Hello,
My starting weight was 250 and current weight is 124.
I'm new to the forum. I want to remain anonymous at this point and I didn't want to post in Facebook. I had my gastric sleeve done in May of 2022, I've lost a total of 125 pounds. The thing I didn't think about was how my self esteem has not changed. I was thinner in my late teens and 20's, but gained weight after having 5 children. I am now in my late 40's, I don't really regret the choice I made about the surgery. The thing I didn't prepare myself for mentally is the depression factor, I had depression prior to surgery and had been on med's. After my surgery I am still on meds, but I feel like things have started to get worse over the last 4-5 months with more weight loss.
I find it very uncomfortable to get attention that I didn't before from males. It get's very uncomfortable to the point where I try to avoid places that have large groups of people. I'm married to a wonderful man for over 20 years, he is so supportive and loving. Once I lost the weight it has turned into more of a focus on my body and how great he tells me I look. Strangers like males coming up to me and asking me for my number, or flirting with me to excess. I don't like it, it makes me beyond anxious and has lead I think to me becoming more depressed. I just want to blend in and not be noticed like I used to be. I know how crazy this sounds but it's difficult for me because I'm very shy especially and I've never liked attention. Sorry this post may sound stupid or pointless but to me I didn't realize I would become more depressed and anxious after I lost weight.
I thought weight loss was going to be an amazing thing, I paid out of pocket for the surgery myself. There is a downside to the weight loss that also no one talks about and it's the Hair loss. Your hair get's very thin if you are not maintaining your Vitamins. It still becomes thin and falls out due to the stress of the surgery. I'm okay with my hair but the hair loss was unexpected as well. I wanted somewhere I could vent about all this. I feel like the focus is more now on my body and how it looks, especially with my husband. Sometimes it's great but at other times it becomes overwhelming.
I feel like something is wrong with me, I should be happy? I don't crave attention and wanted the surgery to feel healthy and for me. I fear the warm months coming, the summer I hated the most when I was overweight. Now that I've lost the weight I'm also just wanting to go back into that shell and become invisible again, especially around the opposite sex. This is not the part I expected to have to deal with, I forgot how to deal with this type of attention. Maybe this is something that others would love to have, but it can also become overwhelming, very overwhelming. Sorry I'm rambling, just didn't know where else to post this in case my complaining is unjustified and stupid?

re: the Hair loss - that's a very well-known "feature" - I'm surprised no one ever said anything to you about it beforehand. It does stop, though -and the hair grows back. Just keep on top of your Protein and Vitamins.
you might want to work with a therapist/counselor about the self-esteem issue. Lots of us have seen therapists for various reasons and found it very helpful.

I would say that these are very valid concerns, and one of the things that i struggled with in the past with weight loss, and it caused a lot of self sabotage— im working on it now with my therapist, and its a struggle. I don’t want to be noticed- and im my case, noticed for my body- and there are underlying factors that im working to uncover. My body is not something anyone should be commenting on- good or bad, imo. I would rather be noticed for something that is not fading, like a nice personality or a kind heart. Perhaps finding a counselor that has experience in body/weight loss issues would be beneficial. And you are safe here too- Im like you- I was self pay and having to come home to find resources like a counselor, dietician etc on my own. Build your team to support you, you deserve it.
The Hair loss was expected, as I had that when doing keto— it does turn around though, so keep up the faith there.

Thank you Khappy77, I think you are right, I need to not focus on the scale so often and try and focus on more positive thoughts to keep me motivated.
Thank you for the advice x