bambam31

I knew most women would disagree before starting the thread. That is a whole other subject.

Had I asked if women find it easier to attract men after losing a great deal of weight and if their weight loss was the main factor 99% would say yes. Men can not make the same admission.

The belief that women are attracted to so many other characteristics of men (one they still believe) is kind of a through back to the days when women weren't self sufficient. Also, keep in mind that years ago being fat was synonymous with wealth and power - things that women are attracted to.

Now it's all much different. Women are often self sufficient and being fat is associated with poverty rather than wealth. Being thin is now associated with wealth and high social standing.

But what about you? Do you attribute it all to the uniform and mustache?

So you believe it's even steven between men and women? I'm not so certain about that. Anecdotally speaking, I think men are less likely to have an open ongoing relationship with a large woman than vice versa. And actually I can point to several overweight uniforms that have successfully attracted thin good looking woman primarily because of the uniform. BUT.... (there's always a but isn't there? ) I'm very happily married, however, I do get a lot more looks and comments from women than I did 100 pounds ago, but I'm much more assertive in conversation than I was then too. Alright... enough rambling...

Brad

I think most of the women on here, so far at least, have disagreed with your analysis. They are more interested in the areas other than weight, unless weight was pushed to an overwhelming extreme.

BUT... You seem to be referring to men "scoring" and I think the women on here are referring more in terms of a "relationship."

Am I not on track here?

Brad

I think it matters if you were on a pre-op diet as well...meaning - I have been on a 2 week, very strict, Protein supplement diet. I have lost 14 pounds as of this morning (hoping for one more pound by tomorrow - surgery day!). Considering how strict and limited my diet has been and the fact that I can advance to pureed foods after 24 hours...I do not expect to keep losing at this rate. I'm still going to watch my overall intake of course, but my pureed foods will have more sodium, etc. I only ate between 500-700 cals a day on my pre-op. One day, I decided to make some chicken broth (from a cube)...the next day i actually gained a pound. It was from the sodium in the broth. I'm going to try and still lose before restriction sets in, but know that it will take pure willpower until the band can start helping. I've been able to lose well on "regular diets" in the past, just could never keep it off. I figure by the time I'm ready to start gaining again after dieting, the band will be there this time!

A lot of the weight lost during the pre-op diet is the result of lost fluids and emptying of digestive tract. Once sufficient restriction is achieved post op, one hopes to settle into a 1 - 2.5 lb per week rate of loss. With wise nutrition and exercise, an optimal amount of that will be fat, while protecting your lean muscle tissue.

Brad

There are no cut and dry rules... but... Most banded people experience fluctuations in restriction. Most people are the tightest in the morning and least-tight in the evening. Social situations will also effect restriction for most people. Stress, menstrual periods, illnesses, etc. have an impact as well.

Brad

It almost seems like a silly conversation but I have one friend in particular (a life long thin guy) who insist that obesity is not a factor for men when it comes to attracting women.

Although conventional thinking holds that "women don't care about looks" I rarely see over weight men (especially short ones) with attractive women - save for very wealthy men of course.

So, I would like to hear specifically from men who have lost significant weight (100lbs or so). Or, guys with waists 34" or less who have lost a good 10".

Do you now have an easier time attracting women? And please don't give me any nonsense about being more confident. 4 beers makes any man confident.

OK... I'm not that smart and very simplistic... Maybe it's just me... Are you asking an honest question in your original post? Or are you looking for study subjects?

Brad

ninababy,

I posted this recently... it might be relevant to your situation.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f178/how-soon-did-you-start-lose-weight-after-surgery-118334/#post1495432

Good Luck and keep your spirits up! I think your doc is expecting the results of a bypass patient at this stage post op, rather than a band patient.

Brad

Banded on the 15th of July now 3 days, I have been very surprised at the variances in diet that each Doc has. Mine has a program that I am on liquids for 2 weeks before any mushies even then nothing like real food till week 5. I am sick of broth and Jello already and am NOT looking forward to the next month.

is this the "hell" part or is it worse trying to get your fill just right? I dropped 20 lbs pre-op and dont want to gain even a lb back. I think I am in for some hungry days.

dman

Bandster hell is typically referred to as the period after surgery swelling subsides until satisfactory restriction is achieved from fills. This is because the hunger normally returns like a raging wildfire during this period and all you have to fight it with is will power - because most bands are "installed" empty.

If you are having trouble with the food stages, contact your surgeons office and ask permission to try more foods. Many will allow you to try a "test" food from the next step to see how well you tolerate it. But remember, the goal is healing during this period and more solid foods require your stomach to work harder and this is what's trying to be avoided.

Good luck!

Brad

The band will not work for you. YOU must work for YOU. You will have to overcome the things that made you fat. You will have to learn how your body uses energy and adjust accordingly. You will have to properly exercise and fuel your body.

The band only helps keep you honest. The band is only a tool.

So what's the common denominator in all of this???? You.....

Good Luck!

Brad

I don't think most bariatric programs prepare people for the first three months post op - especially considering the endless threads similar to this one.

While everyone's journey and experiences vary, a few things are VERY common (except a rare case here and there). People feel very restricted right after surgery and most experience at least some gas pain/discomfort. When the surgery swelling subsides, the hunger returns with a vengeance. Then satisfactory restriction occurs from fills (1-5). But because of fill schedules, this can be many MONTHS post op, which leaves the bandster demoralized.

Everyones fat loss may vary, but those first few months really require a tremendous amount of will power to achieve results. Extraordinary results will require an extraordinary effort. The band is not much of a helpful tool at first, but once the restriction comes it becomes an invaluable tool.

Keep your spirits up! Keep a positive attitude! And last but not least, KEEP YOUR BODY MOVING and EXERCISED!

Good luck!

Brad

Walk as much as you can now. When your doctor clears you for full exercise, try to do "something" everyday. Steadily build your cardiovascular ability. What is hard today will be easy soon enough, and then it's time to increase the intensity to keep your body challenged.

Moderate to intense cardio 3-5+ times per week will burn the fat off and 2 or 3 strength training sessions per week will keep your muscles toned and efficient in the process.

At six weeks post op my surgeon turned me loose to do any exercise that doesn't induce pain. I have not found the band the interfere with any of my exercises.

Good luck!

Brad

Since most bands are installed empty - or near empty, you'll have to wait for fills to provide the satisfactory restriction you desire. But you have to have patience because that may be many months down the road. My surgeon only does small fills 4 weeks apart and it took until fill 4 or so to achieve my desired restriction. You have to focus on the fundamentals in the meantime - and especially get a good exercise regimen up and going once your doctor clears you to do so.

Good Luck!

Brad

Four summers ago I was told by the "lady" sitting next to me on an international flight from Germany that "People like you should have to buy two seats because you're so fat" (don't worry, I had some choice words for her, too!). :smile:

You should have introduced her to a wing seat... literally... :scared2:

Brad

I am very restricted during the first part of the day but this eases as the day goes on. I would not want my band any tighter. My first part of the day food list is fairly short, but increases to be unlimited by the end of the day.

I agree with jalomum in that you should strive to eat enough to feel "not hungry." I don't live by the "1 cup" or any other measurement method. I eat a reasonable amount of food and stop. Now, by evening I have to consciously say "STOP!" because I could keep right on eating - and sometimes do if I desire a higher calorie day. We have to constantly remind ourselves that we, not the band (which is only a tool), are in charge of this show.

I would voice concern though about eating so little during the first 1/2 of the day. Meal Replacement beverages should be used sparingly and wisely, but I use them mostly in the morning because of the tight restriction. If you starve yourself during the morning, you'll be much more likely to binge come evening. Not only that, but if your body is not intaking Proteins for a prolonged period (sleep + first 1/2 of day) then you are likely lean muscle tissue wasting which is a self-defeating cycle long term.

Good luck!

Brad

What was the date of your surgery? August 4, 2008

How healthy did you/do you eat? Awful pre-band. Nowhere near perfect but MUCH better now.

How much do you exercise? Routinely 3-5 X's per week plus...

How much have you lost? 105 pounds at lowest weight.

Are you happy with your results? Ecstatic! Gets better all the time.

Brad

I tend to believe the perceived effect people are experiencing from the alcohol has more to do with decreased tolerance than anything else. The less you drink the less it takes to achieve the same intoxication level - especially having stopped cold turkey for a period of time.

Brad

Playing a little of devils advocate here....

My work performance has improved greatly and I think I owe that the 33lbs I've lost. I work as a nurse at night and I feel more focused throughout the night (and driving home). I'm also more confident to speak up and advocate. I know I feel better about myself and have more self worth. Of course there are many examples of obvious discromination but if we treat ourselves more positively, perhaps others will treat us better as well. So I ask, has anyone who has noticed a change in energy and confidence that may also play a part in being treated differently?

What a great point! We recognize getting more appreciation, notice, and credibility - but we quickly assume it all has to do with the person/people on the other side of the contact. It probably has just as much - if not more - to do with US and how we differently carry/conduct ourselves.

Brad

Most surgeons only fill a small amount at a time. IF this is your case, I would get the fill as soon as possible. It would be very rare to have any overfill complications from the first fill. You will have to be careful what/when you eat on vacation though because some foods MAY become problematic.

Try to keep your stress to a minimum - most people get very tight when stressed.

Good luck and enjoy your vacation!

Brad

here's a snippet from another article on the same study:

"Morton said the obesity surgery patients don’t produce as much of an enzyme that breaks down alcohol because their stomachs are smaller. Also, the alcohol passes to their small intestine faster, speeding up absorption, he said."

Again, referring to bypass. Not sure if the same applies for bandsters.

That literature is for gastric bypass patients, who, unlike band patients, do have different absorbative properties. Our stomachs aren't any smaller and alcohol should not metabolize any different.

Brad

Simple answer; yes.

If we could not do the things that we enjoy, including drinking alcohol following surgery; many of us would not have even considered surgery.

I've cut it down quite a bit and only drink every 2 or 3 weeks but I enjoy it and it has not interfered with my weight loss.

If your surgeon allows carbonation (many do) and if you tolerate it, beer is still on the menu too. Drinking beer slowly gives me no problems. :sad:

Yes, you can, but also keep in mind that alcohol will affect you much more instensely post op. My surgeon said one glass will hit you as much as 3-4 glasses. Heck, I got tipsy on a dose of Nyquil post op. Good times.

OK someone needs to explain this to me.... There are no plumbing changes with the band and when properly adjusted, liquids go straight through the band, so how would alcohol have any different metabolic properties?

Brad

I think Subway can fit into a healthy lifestyle. I wouldn't eat it everyday, but I wouldn't beat yourself up about eating it once a week or so. That said, like other restaurants, they sell food that is all over the spectrum from good to awful. There are certainly things on the Subway menu I would avoid at all cost - like the Cookies...

Some of the sauces and Condiments are not particularly healthful either.

Brad

OT- I just really, truly worked out (hardcore on the Elliptical machine) at my gym for the first time tonight since the sugery- I'm about 5 1/2 weeks post-op. My port site is now fairly sore (I'm about 40 minutes post workout). Is that normal because I just moved my muscle where it is attached quite a bit for the first time and so it is just letting me know to take it a little easier, or did I possibly tear or flip the port? Thoughts appreciated...

Thanks!

Congrats on your progress! I highly doubt that the elliptical did anything to damage your port. Soreness from exercise will come and go - especially when doing new/more strenuous exercise. The discomfort should wane after a day or two. If it is persistent or increases call your surgeon at once.

Brad

Fat men are gross and they have small penises. Total turnoff.

Is this experience talking? :puke:

***Sorry... couldn't resist...***

Brad

This is one of those topics that varies so much from person to person. I am at a pretty tight level of restriction. I have to pick food choices that coincide with my restriction at that given moment. I would never try pizza on a stressful morning. But it goes down well on a relaxed evening.

Just the other day I had a run-in with fresh blueberries during the late morning hours. The skins gave me major fits. But the following evening - no problems at all.

So long as I pick carefully, there really isn't any food I can't eat - at some point.

Brad

I don't really eat "meals" so to speak anymore. I eat small amounts of food all through the day. I am not a fan of eating X amount of calories at X time of day. I think this is the mentality that starts the snowballing toward obesity in some children.

Many of us were raised to eat at 8:00, Noon, 6:00 and weren't allowed to leave the table until our plate was cleaned because there were kids starving to death in far away lands.... So we stretched our stomachs, overate calories, unnaturally spiked our insulin levels and the ball was rolling....

I have 2 young children... ages 2 and 7. They both eat small amounts and then want away from the table because they are no longer hungry. Two hours later they want to eat a small amount of food again. I believe it's because thats what is natural. Why do we go from feeding infants small amounts every few hours - to requiring a 7 yr old eat everything on their plate even if they are full? Probably because we selfishly don't want them coming back in two hours wanting fed again...

Just food for thought... (sorry, couldn't help that)

Brad

There is no denying this fact. People treat me much differently now compared to pre-band. Unfortunately, it's just a fact of society like it or not. One good thing is that it adds to the list of NSV's as you lose fat and get fit...

Brad