1day at a time

I love the pictures they are so beautiful

Thank to all of you for your thoughts and prayers for me and comforting words. You are all such wonderful friends. Cheri - love the Middle Age Text Codes. My 15 year old said those are dumb. I said you are a kid you are not supposed to get it. Julie I am glad you are feeling better

Someone was talking about the website living after weight loss and the 5 day pouch test. Well they sell soup called carb monster. I just bought the two they sell you just add Water they ared pretty tasty.

Never heard of it. Where do you get it?

I am trying however my new vice is Peanut Butter. I bought some carb monster Soups from that living after weight loss website and just made some this morning it has 8 - 1 cup servings in it. It smells good but have not tried it yet

I can handle it. It just seems this yearing has been such a trying year and I a feel done with it all. As far as my DH goes I ask for physical comfort but he just does not want to right now. He will come around eventually. When he is stressed he just wants to be in his own work cocoon. However his office is at home so don't know how much he gets.

Linda - I am trying not to let it get me down. However my DH is being so negative. Saying I saw this coming and their is nothing we can do about it. He is being such a jerk right now which is ticking me off right now. But men deal with stress in a different way then woman. I like to be close and want to be held to comfort me. However he pushes me away during stressful times. UGH Men I swear

Great - I meant he did not take it away on purpose. See I have always held the insurance for our family since he is self - employed. When I got laid off many months back we had to pay for cobra for us to keep our health plan. It cost 1300 a month then at the begining of the year it increased to 1600 I new this day was coming but hoped and prayed it would not. I have been looking at several prescription sites but not all have been good. There is a couple of meds that are brand name with no generic available but since I work at Sams and have a plus membership I do get a percentage off the meds. Since I am Part time i do not get health insurance until dec. If I can get promoted to full time i can get insurance in Aug.

Thank you Cheri for all of your advice and thoughts. My husband and I will talk more tonight so we will see where this is headed.

"Melissa,I am so sorry for you losing your insurance. I wish you could find a policy atleast for your medicines. Do you get a discount on your drugs at Sam's? Maybeyou could talk to them about your problem." Charlene - I get a discount at Sam's I thought about talking to my trainer at work; but worry about what it might do. I think she talks to people. I am looking into different companies that can help you find discounts for your drugs. "Melissa, not quite sure why your DH isdropping the cobra -wouldn't it still be less expensive than out of pockets? Ican't imagine having no insurance, especially with a teenager in the house --I'm so sorry this is affecting so much of your life -- it's very hard -- Youshould talk to your pharmacy where you get your son's meds and see if they willset up some sort of payment plan for you so he can stay on his meds (and yourmeds too)." Linda - He did not drop it on purpose we just can't afford it and since I work part time and my money does not help with our bills. I am trying to find so kind of prescription help and some Drs offer discounts when you have no insurance.

Sandy - WTG!!! Congrats on no diabetes meds. Cheri - Thank you for your information on how you automake your meals. I like my counsler. Well I come home from work today and my husband says we can no longer pay our cobra insurance. A little notice would have been nice; because everything we did this month will not be paid for by our insurance company. I feel so overwhelmed I have tons of sites I was given to hopefully be able to get our meds cheaper. I am more concern about my anxiety and now I can't see my therapist cause he cost $150 a visit. Also for those that remember my husband is self employed and he does not have a paycheck each week so we can not prove his income except by taxes and those show we make too much money. I have been told so may times today by friends to give my problems over to GOD and he only gives us what he knows we can handle. I just want to curl up in bed and cry. We are having problems with my son being a typical teenager and lying and having anger issues and so forth. This is the reason why he started seeing a counsler. He is ADHD and takes Concerta since he was in elementary school and it works and keeps his temper even and he has better self control over his thoughts and impluses. How are we going to pay for that med it is so exspensive. Now I really feel overwhelmed. I really have to take care of my health now. And what about work no insurance until Dec or if I can get a full time position I will be eligble for insurance in August. UGHHHH

The Sad part is I bet alot of us can.

For some reason I can't get multi quote to work again. Thanks to everyone for you support regarding my therapy. It means so much everyone cares about me. I saw the email on the 17 day diet I just have not read it yet. I also saw the book at Target. I have made a promise to myself I would stop buying diet books or self help books unless my therapist wants me too. I have too many. I am sending them to goodwill today. It will be good to clean the closet of all that junk. It makes me feel bad just looking at them. The only two I have now are the 5 day pouch test book and Dr Garth Davis's book. So all in all today is good I go close tonight at work so I will chat with you girls and guys later. Love to Everyone

Oh yes I really like him alot

Jewel - Cute Pic Janet - sorry you are not feeling well Jodi - Hang in there Julie - You sound a lot better. I am glad your pain seems to be getting better As for me I am continuing to see my shrink. Things are ok. I just have alot to think about. I have to be disciplined and he wants me to automate one of my meals to lessen the stress on my self. Still trying to figure out why I am scared to get this weight thing under control. So much is going on in my head right now don't think I can write it all down yet. Give me time and I will

Sorry I have been MIA for a while. I saw my counselor last week and he said that saying I am emotional eater is a cop out. The reason for this is because everyone is. We came to the conclusion that I am undisciplined and scared that is why I am sabotaging myself. Anyways he was having me set my timer on my cell phone for two hours after I eat dinner so I can take my after dinner blood sugar reading. That has worked about 3 times so far. I run into the issue I eat late when I work late and fall asleep before the timer goes off. So this is still a work in progress, I see him again on Wed. I also was doing good with eating better until yesterday I ate 3 little debbie snack cake things in like 5 mins. By the time my head caught up to what I did it was to late. So again a work in progress. Julie - I am glad you are back and healing I hope everyone else is doing well sorry if I missed people still trying to play catch up on the reading. Love to all

Janet - thanks for all your help and advice Laura - Happy late Band Anniversary Cheri - Thank you for all of your information and support throught this tough time Apples - I go in the morning I hope he can help me out and pull me through this Eva - I am meeting with a job counsler Wed at the career center at the Dept of labor. I hope to find another part time job there

Cheri - Why do you think I might be ADHD? Is is cause of the jumping around I do. I am not offended just wondering. The counsler I am seeing made me take this long test that put me as having Anxiety mostly and a little depression. In the past I have tried coming off my meds for this and could not handle it. Janet - I guess because I have been used to my DH or family saying no all the time cause of money issues. So it is hard for me to be positive. When I act postive then people think that I understand what is going on in my life; like money, job insurance all those stressors. It is like a crazy cycle. Linda - I think school would be good I am stuck in this rut. Meaning I feel like I need schooling to have an actual career; I mean what I did before and do now is not really a career I think. I am going to call the school this week I am off work the first part of the week. See what options I have. So I watched my 3 month old nephew last night. He sleeps through the night for the most part which is so much better. He is taking a nap at the moment so I have some free time. His Daddy will be picking him up in a couple hours. He is just too cute and kissable. To those that mention the living after wls forum as a back up to posting here, I had joined that forum in the past but have not found anything recent as far as lapbands except for the 5 day pouch. And part of the website you have to pay for. I am not understanding that one. But maybe I am looking in the wrong place. I am not eating too many sweets like I was but I am practically out of food in the house so I am going shopping tomorrow so I can go back to doing the high Protein everyone is suggesting. I need to stop my carb monster or lossen the grip because I know you will never kill it but at least maybe I can distract it.

Cheri -I am sorry your Daughter is now feeling the effects of Chemo. I am glad she has set up a calendar of people who can help her. Have you been getting my jokes I have sent you through email for her. Neither of your posts bothered me. Any information is good. And it makes sense what you are saying. My DH said Iwas killing myself, however I feel that way too sometimes ecspecially because I am diabetic. I did send out my resume to two friends. One I worked with at my last job were I was an Admin Asst. He said I should expect a call next week. I still enjoy Sam's but they keep cutting hours. My recent sched. was only 20.50 hours. Who can live on that?? Anyways they know I want full time; maybe something will open up. I go to my first appt. with the counselor this Tuesday. Also the college I live near came out with a newletter showing some programs for some degree programs that could be worth checking into. However all are around $1000 and I do not believe I can use th HOPE scholarship on them. Since I have aloth of off days next week I am going to check into it. Jewel- Awesome on the run. That is so great your son wants to run with you. How is your foot doing? I am assuming it is better since you are running now.

Thank You Janet and Cheri for all your support and ideas. Janet you are never preachy I love all your advice. You and several others do not sugar coat things and I love that.

Linda - I missed this post earlier. I am trying to make some small changes but with the help of my Diabetes Educator and my Shrink I see Tues. I know I can do it. I did it before I can do it again. I just don't want to be stuck in this cycle of losing and gaining anymore that is where I pray the shrink will help. Janet - I decided to move my LB appt. That is not the problem right now anyway it is my head. I agree with this "I think we just put our heads in the sand - and after a while it's just to hard to think about losing the weight - ie this is where the band comes in play to help - but it's not the magic cure all - it's only a tool to help us - as I alway say the real work is up to us.. Food is our drug of choice and a non food addict really just doesn't understand this.. It's what I controlled when I had no control over all that was going on in my life.. " Do you think you changed your addiction from food to exercise or is food still your addiction you just have it controlled? Also is your eating automatic meaning you eat the same things for the most part everyday? I have your meal ideas you sent me, I was just wondering. I saw somewhere if you can automake 1 meal everyday that is less to worry about meaning having the same thing for Breakfast. I guess that would be boring but then you knew what you were eating and did not have to think about it that could help. My problem is planning food. I can plan dinner for the house but I forget about me when shopping, except I always by greek yogurt. That is what I have to learn to do plan for me in regards to food. Somehow I miss the part where Julie's band was being removed. I agree I pray the band might have been the problem all along and having it remove might get rid of all her pain.

Cheri - I am a people pleaser I know that about myself. I try to make sure everyone is happy so I can feel love or admiration from them

Okay so I confronted my husband last night needless to say we talked slashed argued. I used the examples everyone gave me like bringing booze home to an alcoholic. He said he has put up with my dieting since we were dating so for over 10 years and I guess he is over it. I said if you bring the candy home put it in another place than in his desk where I can get it. I explained sugar and carbs are my drugs of choice. He asked why was I trying to kill myself ? I could not give him an answer except I said I can't control alot of things in my life right now except what I put in my mouth. Which is so stupid cause what I eat make me feel worse. I don't smoke I have a drink sometimes but eating is my drug like so many of us. When I was getting my tattoos the pain hurt but made me felt better like I deserved it. So when I could not use my birthday money to get more work done on my tattoo I was upset and ate. I want to be one of those people who use exercise instead of food to make myself feel better, but even though I live close to work my husband does not like the idea of me walking to work. I am so tired of being told what to do by him. He really is not horrible person I know it sounds like he is but you have to meet him to know how much he gives of himself to his family and friends. I told he yesterday to lay off about my job I like it, I know we have to pay cobra but stop stress over it we can't change it; however in the mean time I have contacted someone I used to work with at my old job who left that company and went somewhere else. I gave him my resume and he said to expect a call in a couple of days because he really liked my work ethic when we worked together and he thought them letting me go was a bad thing they did to me. Okay so I c my shrink on Tuesday can't wait. Right now as I am typing this I want more than anything to be back to the way I was exercising, taking care of myself. I have the tools I need but my dam head gets in the way okay the carb monster. I bring good stuff to eat for lunch at work I eat that but still have room for a snack. Vending machine crap. Does this mean I need a fill or is that just head stuff getting in the way. I only ask cause I am supposed to go c my LB Dr on Monday and don't know if I should push my appt back talk to the shrink get my head back in order give myself a chance to use my tools before spending the $100 I really don't have. Even though he might give me a fill. Opinions about the LB Dr anyone? I hope this answer alot of questions everyone had. I Love you all and you are all such wonderful friends. Maybe the next big adventure could be you all come to Ga and we can meet. I would so Love that.

Sandy - Right now I am supposed to be checking my sugar before Breakfast and 2 hours after dinner. I never can get the 2 hours after dinner. I either fall asleep or forget and have a snack. My A1C was 6.8. It has been 6.5 and a high of 7.

You are right, so very right