vikingbeast

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. I lost my mother during the pandemic and I know exactly the mental state. But give yourself some grace. The weight gain isn't who you are, it's something that happened in response to some insanely tough stressors. Anyone who judges you doesn't deserve your company—people who truly love you just go, "That's my friend Thunder7, he's awesome," not some Mean Girls "zomg did you see Thunder7?". You know what you need to do to lose it, because you did it once before, and you've already started. Just know it isn't going to happen in two months, and it's gonna take work. Get the beer out the house right now, and don't go to bars. (Probably sage advice anyway in much of the country given the spread of the virus...) As for the loneliness factor... I get that too. I joined a small gym where everyone is very friendly and made friends there. Or if you're into singing (or anything else), just join activities and friendships will follow.

One more gay (future) sleever, reporting for duty. I'm supremely lucky because I am out of the dating pool (which, where I live, needs a big shot of chlorine or something)—my partner is incredibly supportive, and I can't wait to be his arm candy.

This was so comforting to read, I can't even tell you... because I know my brain will overanalyze everything! But if they tell me I can't touch a barbell until 3 months I think I'm gonna have a meltdown right in the surgeon's office... that's my therapy!

I have (now) the surgeon's assistant's e-mail and cell number... it feels very weird. Obviously I can put my foot down at any point. We did have a long talk about the post-op diet. It's hard to trust the process when the process is opaque.

It might be easier to chew romaine lettuce than, say, butter lettuce or green leaf lettuce.

But that’s exactly what it is. There’s no “program”. The doctor refers me for surgery, there’s this flurry of insurance checks, and as soon as the insurance says yes, they schedule me for surgery. The surgeons office said to expect around Labor Day or a bit after (early September). It does feel completely automated.

30% of my current weight would put me at 255, which on my current frame (assuming no loss of muscle, LOLOLOL) would be about 17.6% body fat. I'm trying to picture that and it... is a stretch. But! I would absolutely love it. Wishing you the best as you start your post-surgery loss!!

I had my first contact with the surgeon's office on July 2. Today's July 29 and I'm done with the insurance requirements. I fired off an e-mail to my insurance coordinator, who is super awesome, and she gave me the direct e-mail of the person at the surgeon's office most likely to answer my questions. But it all feels very assembly-line. This is a major, life-changing thing and I don't want to [bleep] it up, but I'm afraid I don't know what I don't know.

Thank you Maribelle! I don't even know how to go about picking one. I've been so fat for so long that I can't imagine myself thin, and since it's been so hard to lose consistently picking some random number that's waaaaaaay down there feels like fraud... maybe just me.

There's no such thing as a silly thing to get anxious about. 1. If I'm just staying overnight I'll come in the clothes I want to go home in, but maybe one change of clothes is a good idea. At least bring an extra pair of unders. You could bring a bra (or wear one) and if you're not allowed to, they'll be sure to tell you. (I am not of your biological sex, so this is fairly abstract for me.) 2. No, it doesn't really matter what you wear to the hospital, but afterwards I would assume you'll want loose-fitting stuff. 3. Bring a toothbrush. And make sure your phone charger is long enough. 4. Just bring it in a bag. Even a cloth shopping bag is okay.

I have these thoughts too (I'm pre-op) so what I have is a list of things I want to experience in various places through my house. Sitting in a chair without having to do mental physics first. Not having to ask for a table instead of a booth. Being able to fly coach and not say a prayer to whoever the patron saint of obesity is that the seatbelt will just close. Being able to run more than 400 m without dying. And honestly? When the "what are you even DOING right now" feeling gets overwhelming, I come here and just lurk. Y'all have no idea how many times you've kept me from canceling things... thank you.

I’m pre-op, 365 lbs, and I do Oly lifting as part of CrossFit. I did powerlifting (squat dead bench) and a little strongman but there’s something about weightlifting that is just… elegant and impressive. Find a place with an actual Oly lifting coach, and preferably one who’s figured out how to teach large people. As an example, I have to move a lot faster after hip contact on both cleans and snatches so I don’t take a barbell to the gut. Your weights will be lower because it’s hard as a very large person to a) reach full extension and b) move under the bar effectively. But I am here to tell you it can be done. Mobility is huge so if you have issues, try something like GoWOD or ROMWOD and use props as need be. I cannot WAIT until the fat is not an issue and I can just wear a compression shirt and lift “normally”. I’m already driving my team crazy asking when I can start doing it even if it’s with a freaking PVC pipe. (PS for anyone else reading: “weightlifting” is clean & jerk and snatches only. Powerlifting is back squat, deadlift, and bench press. Everything else is “strength training”.)

Heyooooo. I’m looking forward to surprising my partner. Looking at late August surgery so hopefully by Valentine’s Day… talk about motivation to keep doing every right! As Ru would say, “Good luck, and don’t 🤬 it up.”

I just wanted to say thank you to all y'all. I found this site a while ago and have been lurking and reading and learning. The honest talk helped me with a lot of the anxiety I was having about surgery. The photos inspired me so much—so many of you changed your lives and kept them changed. The folks who are really into exercise reassured me that it isn't over (I love my CrossFit, and I can't wait until my weight isn't the limiting factor). And just the fact that so many people's lives improved finally got me over the "shame hump". I called for a referral, had my initial consultation last week, and am tentatively scheduled for VSG in late August. (My insurance has been frankly amazing. So few roadblocks that I kept checking to make sure they were talking about bariatric surgery.) To say I can't wait for this is an understatement. I just want y'all to know you're changing lives for me and for other lurkers who haven't clicked that "sign up" button yet. Thank you.

Question for the sleeved athletes out there. How far back did surgery set you in the gym? I'm a (former) competitive strongman and I really enjoy being strong, I just don't enjoy being obese with all the comorbidities. I know I'm going to lose some muscle mass as a result of surgery, and thus some strength both from that and from forced separation from the gym. For those of you who got sleeved, how far of a setback was it? Were you able to regain some of your former strength? Am I just going to have to be "regular", but with added bonus mobility, endurance (running!), ability to do gymnastics (a pull-up without swinging like a monkey!), etc.? How long did it take before you were comfortable swinging a barbell around? Before you felt like you could truly brace your core for a lift again? I'm doing the surgery regardless. There are too many good outcomes to worry overmuch about it. I just want to have some idea what to expect when I do return to the gym. Obviously I'm not going to go in to try and PR my deadlift, I will ease back in like I did after the Covid closures. Thank you in advance for any advice, and my apologies if this is the wrong forum for this.

Weight loss is weight loss, of course, but there are things that LGBTQ+ people may have to deal with that don't really have parallels in the straight community. As an example: The bear movement among gay men was started in direct response to body-shaming of fat gay men by lean gay men. It was truly awful—gay bars, which were the only safe spaces, started putting what were called "cow catchers" out front—poles set narrowly together, so that only people with lean body types could pass through without turning their bodies or hitching. If you couldn't pass through without turning or hitching, you couldn't go in. So the fat hairy gay men created their own safe spaces (440 Castro in SF and Rockbar in NYC are examples) and their own community. But flash forward thirty years or so and now the bear community has its own judgmental labels and body shaming. Oh, he's not fat enough to be a bear. Oh, he's not hairy enough to be a bear, he's just a chub. Oh, he thinks he's a cub but he's just a skinny old otter. Someone who is gay and identifies as a bear (hi!) who then loses the weight may lose his community, which makes compliance just that much harder. Or he could lose his relationship, because maybe his partner is only into big bears. I'm fortunate in that I don't think I'll have that problem, but it's an example of a situation that only gay men face. There could be situations particular to lesbian women, to trans people (who face issues getting quality medical care even when not obese), for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community. Does it warrant its own forum? I don't know. Maybe, because if you're a member of the LGBTQ+ community and you're searching for answers to your problems, finding a "safe space", or at least a collection of LGBTQ+ WLS issues all in one place, could be a really good thing. I just don't know how much traffic it would see.