Neci_RNY

It's been a while since I did an inventory of my NSV's.
I'm 2.5 years post op, but I can still appreciate all the little things:
Not only fitting into regular-width tall boots, but wearing jeans with knee-high woollen socks over them while wearing said boots AND still have room to spare. I used to hate it whenever Mr. tried to pick me up - as in lift up off the ground, not hit on at the bar! - (dude, I'm 235 lbs, you will embarrass both you AND me in your attempts)...now I find any excuse for him to do it...including jumping onto him at random moments. Sharing (and fitting into) the often fought-over arm chair in the house with the Kid at the same time quite comfortably. Feeling 110% confident in walking around buck naked (in front of Mr. lol). No more quick dashes to my closet after showers (i do a slow catwalk now...lol), no more towels or sheets or strategically placed hands to cover myself. The lights are ON alot during sexy-times hahahahahhaha. Seemingly endless amounts of energy, a perpetually good mood, and an overall attitude of "Sure, let's do it" (whatever it may be)....vs. being tired all the time, cranky and annoyed alot, and saying NO to most things. oh, and ...CLOTHES.

I don't understand it myself. I'm 9 weeks and I went another week without losing, after going 1-1/2 weeks going up and down a pound, up 2, down 2 the next day.
My son went through everything that I have been eating and I'm between 450-600 was my max calories a day. I'm doing the gazelle an hour a day, swimming 1-2 hours, going to for walks. I'm staying at 20-30 carbohydrates a day (sometimes less) 60-70 Protein.
Yesterday was my birthday and my husband and son kept nagging me about getting ice cream or yogurt and my son said listen Mom, you are doing everything right and it's like before, when you would diet hard and we would go out to eat and you would blow your diet and end up losing weight. Eat some no sugar added frozen yogurt and you will weigh 2 pounds less tomorrow.
I don't know why I said yes to them. I haven't cheated once on this diet, I don't even allow myself the sugar-free puddings anymore, I get almost all my carbs with my Protein shakes or vegetables. I said yes. I went to bed literally frustrated that I ate 1/4 cup of no sugar added FroYo (which tasted not that great) but they were happy with their chocolate and I was mad that so they could treat themselves, I had to agree to have some, otherwise I wouldn't eat it. I told them no more of this, because if they want yogurt, ice cream etc. it's up to them, but stop bringing me into it. They both felt bad, something I promised I would not do to them, because let's face facts, this is my journey and they have been supporting me but they shouldn't have to go without because I have to.
Well, guess what....I weigh two pounds less today and I was still under 600 calories yesterday and only hit 30 grams of carbs.
It makes zero sense. It makes no sense when it says "you are in starvation mode" on myfitnesspal.com It makes no sense that consistently, for the past 6 weeks I have had a deficit in my calories vs. exercise and yet I am not losing as fast as I want to.
What I can tell you is this though, bones are appearing where there was just chub, my arms are getting tight, the middle of my back is getting a chiseled dip and I look smaller, my clothes are hanging different this week than last week.
It messes with my head a bit. I give a lot of pep talks to people that post the "I am failing" especially when people tell themselves enough they are failures, they can find ways to actually fail, they give up and I won't give up and I don't want others to give up. I can't say I'm a failure at this, because I know eventually the weight will fall off and I worked too hard to fail.
Our biggest issue is using the scale consistently as a judge, jury and sometimes executioner to our self-esteem.
I moved the scale from the bathroom (which gets kicked and moved and the steam in there and every time I brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, before a shower before bed I wanted to hop on it. Seeing the weight gain from first thing in the am or throughout the day would cause my head to spin. I don't have the discipline to not reweigh myself when it's in my face, so I moved the scale to my spare bedroom. I weigh once a day, I get up, after my first Pee, I go in the spare room, shut the door, take off my nightgown and weight, so it's only once a day and it's upped my mood a bit.
Look at the whole picture, it's so easy to judge your success to someone elses. How many people look at my "total" weight loss and think wow, look at all she lost and she had surgery in June...I lost 10 pounds a month Pre-approval. If you look at my overall weight loss, guess what....it still equates to about 10 pounds a month. I started the plan in November had surgery in June and we're in August now! I lost faster after surgery (because I had to lose all that Water weight from the IV etc.) but we all got so used to that 1 or 2 pounds a day the first week and now, our body has to readjust.
I promise you, if you keep getting in your nutrtion, drink your 64 ounces of Water, chart your cals. carb. Protein and you do the right thing, the inches will fall off, if you add exercise into the mix, the fat will fall off and be replaced by lean muscle, and eventually the scale will reflect this.
I will reread this next time I start to wig out about the stupid scale.
Good luck.